https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/mar/20/fema-gregg-phillips-waffle-house
>>62017939meant to post this to /x/ but my post got teleported to /biz/
>>62021012Was it fun though?
>>62017741Yeah, id imagine being destroyed at the molecular level and having an almost 1:1 copy rebuilt somewhere else in space and time wouldn't be fun, not that you'd be alive to know it.
>>62021148Would my copy at least have my memories?
>>62021207that depends on how your memories are actually stored, which nobody knows
>>62021148wait until you also realize that this is what's happening every nanosec of your "life"
>>62021148that already happens to 1% of your cells every day
>>62021012Is this the April fools joke this year, teleporting posts? I'm for it
This morning I teleported shit out my ass into the toilet
>>62021037pretty fun I imagined lots of replies bitching about flat earth>>62021811lies, they move, not teleport. inb4 plank distance>>62022454you should infiltrate the janitorial staff
>>62022439Not all at once, and not to brain cells. I am still my conscious, but teleporting kills you. Simple as.
>>62022439Ummm your cells die every minute but you don't want to kill yourself?? Hypocrisy alert!
>>62022815>lies, they move, not teleport. inb4 plank distanceTeleportation or not, it doesn't matterSymmetrical brain mitosis experiment:Start with 1 brain, where every neuron slowly undergoing a perfectly symmetrical mitosis (not a destructive replacement, but a split).So for each chains of neurons a b c, it becomes a b1 c and a b2 c.It happens for every neuron, step by step, always perfectly symmetric (so you can never intuitively prefer one brain over the other during the process), until the whole system has duplicated: You have two perfectly identical brains, each with the exact same memories, personality, and mental state.Both wake up and say: “I am the original.”Which one is you?"You" don't ex-ist, nigga
>>62017741I unironically believe him
>he's never teleported before
>>62022771>be shit>teleports behind you>You:"Hnnnnnghhhni"
*teleports behind you*
>>62023085>"You" don't ex-istI do but maybe you don't. I really have no way of knowing. But me existing is the only thing I know for sure. The whole world might be a hallucination but "I" would still need to exist to hallucinate it.Your brain may be playing your experience of life in an empty box but my brain has an entity experiencing that experience, that's just a fact from my point of view
>>62017741I've teleported to Waffle House before but it involved a lot of bourbon
>>62023085>le brain is consciousnessmatter pleb.
>>62023085The one with the soul.
>>62017741>You need to have a plug inserted into your butt and a rod into your urethra to use itLife is a humiliation ritual
