Yeah...that makes sense edition >Educational sites:https://www.investopedia.comhttps://www.khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain>Financial TV Streams:https://www.newslive.com/american/cnbc.htmlhttps://www.livestreamy.net/bloomberg/>Charts:https://www.tradingview.comhttps://www.finscreener.comhttps://www.portfoliovisualizer.com>Screeners: so you feel like in the movieshttps://finviz.com/https://etfdb.com/>Gambling:https://www.optionsplaybook.com/options-introduction/https://www.optionsprofitcalculator.comhttps://optionstrat.com/https://www.optionistics.com/quotes/option-prices>Pre-Market and Live data:https://www.investing.com/indices/indices-futureshttps://finance.yahoo.com/>Calendarshttps://www.marketwatch.com/economy-politics/calendarhttps://www.earningswhispers.com/calendarhttps://www.cmegroup.com/trading/interest-rates/countdown-to-fomc.htmlhttps://www.mortgagenewsdaily.com/data/building-permits>Boomer Investing 101: so zoomers with meme stocks can outperform youhttps://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_startedhttps://www.sec.gov/search-filings>Misc smg:https://www.financialjuice.com/homehttps://finance.yahoo.com/trending-tickershttps://market24hclock.com/https://www.dividendchannel.com/drip-returns-calculatorhttps://brokerchooser.com/https://www.chathamfinancial.com/technology/us-market-rates>NEW THREAD: Copy-paste the following when making a new thread:https://pastebin.com/GfB48W5Gprevious smg thread62059346
I'm thinking that "rallies of the year" chart might've included Easter Rally, hence why today was green
Predict the long weekend (Trump usually does a major thing on them)1.Ground Troops2.Bombing infrastructure 3.Actually leaving Iran 4.Nothing
Thank you Mr. President!“Trump is actually playing 5D chess by knowingly posting fake TACOs that he knows will get faded so that when the real TACO comes people short into it and ensure there’s fuel for the rally”
It's literally over tomorrow isn't it broshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37YDcIQABEs
> futures
>>62060129fucking hell, not againprevious smg thread>>62059346
>/smg/ panickedSad, desu
Reminder that we are in the same dynamic as early February 2020 when the government was feeding the market increasingly delusional copium to keep it from crashing during the initial covid. Eventually the lies became too absurd and the reality on the ground too hard to ignore, and then the market went straight down. Covid was a demand-side crisis that could be solved by printing, but we're in a supply-side crisis that has no fix. The market is heading for a cliff, and there's no way to stop the destruction like last time.
>>6206013210 bucks on ground poopsand my entire portfolio on the opposite apparently
apparently baking a new smg when the one everyone was posting in is at 500 replies is spamming stupid fucking jannies need a smack in the mouth>>62060141AI has gone too far
Is the US admitting defeat in Iran bearish or bullish?
>>62060144Bot post.
>>62060145tl;dr
Thoughts on this bike?
>>62060140For oil baggots yesFor big gay bears yesFor us normal folk no its only just begun :3
>>62060145Hopefully they try to fix it by printing money again. That's exactly what I voted for
I'm glad I get to share a thread with so many geopolitical experts
>>62060154GAY
>>62060154that's not your bike don't be a nigger anon leave it right there>>62060157aww ty babe <3
>>62060145>tfw you knew nothing about markets in 2020I heard that people got rich off covid and had no idea how.
>>62060154numb testicles/10
>>62060157In this economy you're either betting everything you have on your random macro guesses or you have inside information about macro, there's no third option
>>62060145>but the war will be over in 2 weeks and demand will be back to normal in no time!
>>62060163Brooks saddle conforms to your anatomy
>>62060154Cambridge?
shorts are favored here, trend if your friend
>>62060166>2 weeks to flatten the strait
Why did so much volume pour in on what was essentially a retweet of what we already knew? Shit doesn't make any sense
>>62060173Damn straight, and bulls are getting way too cocky
>>62060154Don't skimp on a good (comfortable) saddle, you already have a bag on there, why would you need a minimalist saddle as well? That shit makes you infertile.
>>62060172I've cycled there once. Took me 5 hours.
>>62060176MSM made up a fake narrative where Iranian president agreed to peace by quoting his old comments out of context. He actually said he'll agree to peace if US does all those batshit insane things they demand such as paying reparations to Iran.
>>62060139>FadedTHESE PEOPLE TRY TO FADE ME!https://youtu.be/mS3ixBHjT28?si=RqpPnjpRwCHF-m6z
>1 month nofap>portfolio at atltickers for this feel?
>>62060181why would Iran get reparations before black people?
>>62060185because they're smart and play their cards better lol
>>62060183HIMS
>>62060181Exactly. What I'm surprised by is the sustained volume on this move. As fun as it is to pretend the market is full of retards, that's not the case. So why is this being sustained?
>>62060168saved, thanks
>>62060179Ah. London.
I now have 10k € in Games Workshop
>futuresUh oh, mumu. Your little relief rally is faltering.
>>62060192>Games WorkshopI'd secretly like to tap into the 2am stoner game sessions, could be pretty funny. I assume at least one of these exists somewhere.
>>62060196umm no it's not. not yet anyway I am gonna double down on puts tomorrow
>>62060145>The market is heading for a cliff, and there's no way to stop the destruction like last time.this is a short term bounce, and we will go down to lower lows pretty soon, but this sort of reaction is a bottom signalpeople will post this kind of thing again, when there is a real bottom. and they'll call it a bounce, but then it will just keep bouncing upjust like the irrational bulls buy the dip but the dip keeps dippingRemember to stay agile brothas! Be smart and read the charts. don't get married to your shorts or longs. you're here to make money, not put money away into your "beliefs".
>>62060189I think there's going to be a big dump tomorrow. Institutional investors are trying to get exit liquidity from the unsuspecting retail investors.
i'm starting to get the feeling the market is just run by retarded computers
I'm going for a ride to get some snacks bros
>>62060211oil computer it seems
im starting to get the feeling it really is time to full port calls tomorrow because the market is gonna rip up another 3%bobos havent bled hard enough yet
>>62060210yeah it's a short term bouncehope no one got liquidated, or exited a short positionjust zoom out and look at the chart over 6 months. Market doesn't go down in a straight line. it zig zags up and down, and right now we are in an overall down trendI hope people know that and expect it. we were overdue for a bouncenow we see how far the bottom will be. I'm guessing in a month or two. then shitty sidways chop solidation until november like most midterm years.
>>62060210That's the only narrative that makes sense to me, but it seems weak/conspiratorial. Like big money is really colluding to bait and switch incoming liquidity like that? I know markets are adversarial and all obviously, but big money is also distributed and competing with itself.. So why has big money taken this bait?
>>62060149I mean, it gives Xi the green signal to do the funniest shit in 2027 as scheduled. Stock up on RTX cards, DRAM sticks and SD cards. Don't buy gold, complete meme. Buy actual tech hardware.
>>62060213Get me an Arizona tea and some hot fries
>>62060213get me some more beers, I just ran out.I knew I should've bought that extra half litre goddamnit.
is oil computer the next bitcoin
Not to cause any alarm but the Japanese 10Y bond yield has risen to levels not seen since 1998
>>62060211You're saying it as if it were a bad thingAll hail our benevolent algoverlords.
>>62060226bullish
should i buy aramco stocks if i want to make money? they're pretty cheap compared to american ones.
>>62060218Euro markets barely pumped though, it's mostly US market that went up. Part of that is EUfags fleeing to safety
>>62060181>Iranian presidentI love how for weeks there was no one to talk to, no figurehead, no regime, no nothing, couldn't even find a guy with a turban And then suddenly it's like they remember this guy exists.Even though he was forgotten for a reason.Peak clown shit.
Insider here, he's going to tweet and oil is about to plummet
Republicans mass leaving Congress at levels not seen since the Great Depression
>>62060238When?
>>62060240it's called the are in recess
>>62060241Any minute now :3
>>62060235EU markets were closed since an hour when the memenews about the memepresident came out. EU markets will thus pump tomorrow to fill the delta. Unless Iran does funny things going boom during the night.
>>62060231You’re Saudi?
>>62060243:/
I should make an oil computer coin so people can own fractions of oil
>>62060219>Trump walks away>leaves strait closed>Europe and Asia (especially China) out of oilArt of the Deal unironically. Hormuz is a squeeze on everyone but America
>>62060235I would've been up $10k today if I had held my longs til close. Instead I went short near open. I almost sold the bottom of the V at a 50% profit on the puts and switched to long, but I waited too long while I was deciding how to close my position (was deliberating legging into a spread at a discount). Then I watched that face melting pump erase nearly all the gains from longs, knowing I could've captured it and probably made $20k in total. And it's all over this retarded retweet nonsense that doesn't even make sense.
Well, shit looks mostly peaceful tonighthttps://x.com/Osinttechnical/status/2039108277905011105
>>62060236We were probably just waiting to see if the current Ayatollah being a gay 1 legged loser in a coma was enough to cause a succession fight, but it seems like we're now stuck dealing with their president and different factions of the IRGC that are still holding out.
>>62060250not my problem
conservatardoly speakingif this were a elliotchud ABC correction akin to le tariff tantrum,consider the following (SPX)>leg A finished at 6316pts>the V must stall before SPX 6450pts>the B leg continues down to 6350pts or maybe 6300pts evenAND THEN WE GET A NEARLY UNINTERRUPTED 2000pts RALLY TO SPX ~7850pts KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK trolololololmao
hope it goes up to 660.i WILL full port puts for monday
>>62060251
>>62060192In the company or the dolls?
>>62060253The funniest shit is the guy is probably dead, they just "elected" him so the mossad waste time and ressources searching for a man that's already dead, kek.I know that's what I'd do.
>>62060258>the C leg continuesobviously...
>>62060245nah.
Cute and based
>>62060196look again
>>62060258>>62060264CAN A MOD PLEASE DELETE THIS I HAD MY NUMBERS WRONG...ok let me rephrase this....
>>62060262The company
>>62060269For >>62060263
>>62060251>And it's all over this retarded retweet nonsense that doesn't even make sense.market was overdue for a short term bounce, and it "found" an excusethat's not the real reason, that's just the reason people are pointing to
*AHEM*conservatardoly speakingif this were a elliotchud ABC correction akin to le tariff tantrum,consider the following (SPX)>leg A finished at 6316pts>the V must stall before SPX 6650pts>the C leg continues down to 5750pts or maybe 5700pts evenAND THEN WE GET A NEARLY UNINTERRUPTED 2100pts RALLY TO SPX ~7850pts KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK KEK trolololololmaonever mind what that other asshole wrote a few posts above
>>62060226and the 40yr hasn't made lows yet>>62060189it was the JPM collar roll, everyone justified it because of the "we're ready to end the war" so they reflexively bought the dip and sold oil without understanding anything. when i say everyone it was mostly just retarded computers
>>62060210>>62060235The only alternative I can think of is that the retweet pump is a front for some real news that's about to drop, and this was their cover to get in without raising red flags?
why don't B52s fly over the hormuz until it's open
line go up
>>62060259>i WILL full port puts for mondaydon't do it brothathink about jackmister bogle would want you to responsibly gamble on the stock marketthink about him.remember vanguardWhat Would Jack Do?this is a question I ask myself every day.
>>62060284why waste the jet fuel?let the goyim deal in the real world.
>>62060154If you can't afford a Miata maybe
>after all that bullshit oil ended in the green
>>62060284>why don't B52s fly over the hormuz until it's openwell they areand now they are flying over land, so it seems like the southern air defense is degraded enough for the big fat planes to fly, just a little bit into iran's airspaceIt is coming
I am an oilbaggiefeel free to laugh at me
Jobs numbers came in absolute dogshit again today.
OIL DUMP BEGINS IN 6 MINUTESYOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SO SAYETH BIZTRODAMUS
>>62060291Top
>>62060295>I am an oilbaggie>feel free to laugh at medont worry bro, it's not over yetyou still have time to get out, and start shorting to ride that wave downexpect a few more spikes up before the big crash downand get prepared brotha
why not just fly a bunch of A10s over the straight of hormuz until it's open
I sold the bottom yesterday
>>62060282>JPM collar rollCan you expand a little on that - did this pin price to 6500 or something? I get what a collar is and basic options mechanics etc. I don't see how the collar would be responsible for making price moon today, since it was already in range of the collar..
>>62060298employment is a legacy metric in the AI paradigm
>>62060304I shorted the bottom today
>>62060304I've done that, see: >>62059451Don't worry, you'll recover some day just like I did
>>62060299ready for action boss
The war in Iran will end in two to three weeks - DJT
>>62060295not much upside, but not much downside either. You've stumbled on to a very crabby trade.
>>62060306I'm a soxl holder and remote job tech cunt and I disagree.
>>62060310You never recovered doe
bobo status report
>>62060318Holding these bags baby
why doesn't the US just ban iran from closing the straight of hormuz
>>62060282>it was the JPM collar roll, everyone justified it because of the "we're ready to end the war" so they reflexively bought the dip and sold oil without understanding anything. when i say everyone it was mostly just retarded computersSo are you expecting SPX number to get smaller in the coming days, weeks and months?
>>62060303>why not just fly a bunch of A10s over the straight of hormuz until it's openoh they are actually do that>>62060304>I sold the bottom yesterdaydon't worry bro, it will go down more
Japan and Korea are going to the moon. +5% for Korea
>>62060318Continually losing money sir. But at least today is SGOV divvie day
>>62060329International already spiked 3.3%
TRIPS RIPS
>>62060235>EUfags fleeing to safetyLolNo
>>62060321>why doesn't the US just ban iran from closing the straight of hormuzthey have also done thatstrongly worded letters have been sent in the UNmuch international attentionstrongly condemn
>>62060277I get that, but it already had a good bounce at open. This was a double bounce, which is not ok with me.
>"OpenAI Valued at $852 Billion After Completing $122 Billion Round"Imagine the pain
>>62060337it was preceeded by a double dip thoughbeit
>>62060339Why?They rather unleash another plandemic and kill the plebs off for good than to let their OpenAI investment fall short of expected revenue.Screencap this.
damn I just realized Q12026 already over. Time flies.
>>62060318Still 90% cash. Waiting to deploy. Israel will not let this end yet.
Fuck you orange pedophile, suck a camel dick give me my $100 tqqq
>>62060317That's the trick! I got you!
>>620603401) no it wasn't2) double dips are fine, especially in wartime whilst the AI bubble bursts in real time. stairs up, escalator down.
Trump on national TV tomorrow night. Taco, invasion or complain about the ballroom?
No more sandnigger wars
>>62060304thanks for playing
>>62060337>I get that, but it already had a good bounce at open. This was a double bounce, which is not ok with me.the bounce could keep going for a couple days, or happen over the course of a dayjust zoom out on the chart brothathe bounce that happened today is totally within normal ranges, and expected to happenthe size of it is normal. that's what she saidall jokes aside, size totally normal. whether it happens over a day, 2 days, or whatever
>>62060336Why won't Iran just graciously accept that they've been defeated? Very rude!
>>62060348>Fuck you orange pedophile, suck a camel dick give me my $100 tqqqyou have more chances to buy more TQQQ at even better pricesdon't get too anchored in day to day price swings
Did trump make Iran a superpower
why the fuck is oil at $102
>>62060305market makers sell JPM the put spreads for their hedged equity ETF every quarter where this time the buy strike was 6475 (MMs short this, which is +delta to them) and they have to hedge that to stay delta neutral as it moves closer to expiry (today). as a put moves towards expiry it's delta trends faster towards either -1 or 0. conjecture: somebody in the white house understands this so they pumped futures by dumping oil overnight on the back of a BS headline (an aide said that he heard someone say they heard we'll just leave the strait closed lmao -WSJ) to push the hedging flows closer to the insane negative gamma around the 6475 strike today. anyways, open at 6400, metric shittons of futures need to be bought back if the market pops towards the strike, BS headline, algos do the rest. JPM's puts expire worthless.https://nitter.net/spotgammahttps://nitter.net/volsignals
>>62060359>Why won't Iran just graciously accept that they've been defeated? Very rude!true!>>62060352>Trump on national TV tomorrow night. Taco, invasion or complain about the ballroom?the big boy news will probably happen over the holiday weekend methinks
>>62060318So what happens with the strait of Hormuz if Trump just decides to leave tomorrow?
>>62060250New migger copium just dropped I see.
>>62060299Uh anon?
>>62060363oil market = manipulated, but smart (they'll buy the dip)SPX = dumb nigga algos trading on headlines from the fake news (trump himself)
>>62060367who cares
circuit breaker on mondayscreencap this
>>62060357it's the fact that it double bounced on retweets that doesn't make sense to me, not that a 3% is within the realm of possibility - obviously it is.
>>62060363they won't let my boy fly free
>>62060359Yeh duh dude they’re firing 3 missles a day. They started at 130. They also know if America wills it they can take back the strait. It’s better to negotiate now and live to fight another day, lots of valuable intel was received for both sides
>>62060352I don't think he'll do anything to upset the markets, he'll do it over the weekend that's just a day away
>>62060364this makes the most sense so far, thanks. it really did feel like the headline was a lazy attempt at running cover for something else, and the collar makes sense as the motive here.
>>62060368Are we pro tyrant now? This kind of contrarian retardation mean puts or calls?
>>62060379>it's the fact that it double bounced on retweets that doesn't make sense to me, not that a 3% is within the realm of possibility - obviously it is.oh okaywhat about a double bounce is weird to you?pic unrelated
>>62060388because these were retweets, it didn't bring new info to the market.
>>62060364whatever you think you know, the powers that be are 10 steps ahead my dude. why waste your time thinking all this midwit shitjust buy calls when market goes up and buy puts when go down, its easy
>>62060326APOCALYPSEi dunno i'd lean towards mild relief rally until opex, collar roll usually supplies vol and there's probably a lot of people who just bought high IV april puts. insane how this year is playing out almost exactly like last yearthough , margin debt and dispersion trade. whole 9 yards. just from reading the tape i would guess the dispersion trade is like 3x levered what it was at this time last year. could just fucking implode
>>62060367The USA will graciously allow Iran to charge a toll in the currency of their own choosing in order to generate funds to rebuild their war torn country
42 minutes until /smg/ spergs about blompf
>>62060132Troops on the ground, specifically on easter sunday (trump and his bitches love doing things on symbolic days)
why did jannykikes delete our threads today i got lost and couldnt talk to you bros right when power hour started and jerome was doing the fake and gay pump.anyway i bought 5 puts on NVDA did anyone else grab weekly puts?
>>62060391enjoy... life?
https://x.com/presssec/status/2039127824947183967 so is this where he announces ground troops or that we are pulling out?or ending the war? both of those don't make sense to do when there's only one trading day
>>62060399i cant wait to see mildly red futes tomorrow morning and everyone starts getting hyperbobo again and i just buy calls at open and win because i understand the markets intuitively and spiritually
>>62060399Israeli government bot post. Stop using a proxy to ban evade.
>>62060394what does your market news flow / info stream look like?
>>62060400allright that's enough, hegseth is taking this crusader roleplay way too far
>>62060129Mumu. You aren't really falling for this textbook dead cat bounce are you? There is no way the strait is opening in 3-4 weeks.
>>62060412trump on national TV tmrwhe either >gives up on iranspy goes to 680+>ground invasionspy circuit breaker in thursday
i'm having the most fun i've had in years rn i just want you to know
>>62060399why is that? he speaking?
>>62060419you bet your bottom dollar the last thing trump wants to do is put boots on the ground
>>62060419>gives up on Iran>spy 680lmao the delusion of americans
>>62060250>Blockade the strait>”If Iran wants to deny the strait to the world then we will deny the straight to Iran.”>Create a treaty to nuke iran. Treaty says the US won’t nuke iran without enough signatures.>Wait>As everyone slowly gets their economies cooked different countries slowly but surely add their names to the treaty.>Eventually even China and Russia join the list.>Then the big button is pressed as the last signature comes in to deploy the nooks.>It’s Japan.
>>62060422But that's what Israel needs
>>62060423temporary pump =/= long term
>>62060420Live quietly in the moment and see the beauty of all before you. The future will take care of itself.
>>62060405this is where he announces he's pulling out of your mother
Do people not realize that running away from Iran with the strait still closed is the more bearish of the two options? They'll just keep the strait closed indefinitely and annex the gulf states, sending oil into quadruple digits.
>>62060424>>”If Iran wants to deny the strait to the worldThis was an absolutely exceptional game plan just up to this one little snaggle.
Are you guy's sure we're not in an economic depression, every time I leave my house I see shuttered businesses and downtrodden homes falling into disrepair
>Nasdaq pumps like 4%>my own folio pumps only like 13%C’est owarifni
>>62060424Russia, China, and all of their allies already have access to the strait, you fucking retard. Max long on oil.
Not worried. Demochads will sweep everything later this year and then remove Trump from office. The single green candle from that one day will bring us back to 7,000
>>62060427i'm buying calls i'm putting my money on the paki peace plan pump
>>62060432You have no idea what you’re talking aboutGb2/r/reddit
Is this the most obvious bluff of all time?>headlines this week prominently featuring european countries "refusing" US and Israeli aircraft use their airspace>even though everything was fine and they were providing intelligence just a day ago (and still are)>troops arrive this week>timeline still 2-3 weeks by official estimatesBut a ground invasion is out of the question, it was always retarded prole media bait. They will come out either thursday or friday and announce that they conducted a black operation called "Deux Cucks" or whatever cringe bullshit and that they>assassinated 30 billion iranian officials in the dead of night (they have been doing trial runs of inducing blackouts in Tehran)>infiltrated nuclear facilities and extracted uraniumit's all retarded gay theater of course but this will signal that they have some sort of deal and that this thing is actually over. Then you have my permission to mongopump.
>>62060422I hit reply to tell you that he's not the one making the decisions but >>62060427 already did.
>>62060437We've been in a recession since 2022, the only thing making the number go up is AI and palliative care for boomers.
>>62060422it's either a minor political suicide (escalation - boots on the ground and dead soldiers) or a massive economic suicide (leave - pool remains closed and iran kills the petrodollar).
>>62060447it is well worth gambling on any hopium of a peace deal, you'll catch a fucking 10x on calls if it Iran says yes, even if it doesn't last a day
>>62060408/smg/, ww3 nigga, sentdefender, firstsquawk, chris whalen, mike green, david levenson, cem karsan, @zeecontrarian1 (kike faggot but his small-mid cap picks are great), might start watching @derivatesdon posts, the guys i posted before (haven't tryed their subscriptions), subscribe to 42 macro. most of which picked up from mediaslop but they're sharp.all that through the lens that i think trump was installed in power by the international cults to bring about WW3 so the goys wouldn't expect it for what that's worth.>>62060437since 2008 baby, look at the birf rates
Say hi to the feds and NSA
>>62060445I've been on /biz/ since literally day 1 when moot created this board in 2013, before either /rhg/ or /smg/ were even a thing. You're the one that should go back, you fucking israeli government shillbot. Max long on oil, max short on tech.
>>62060424What are you even yapping about bro, christ this thread is shit, it's just braindead mutt fantasies.
>>62060455TWO MORE WEEKS
>>62060450Maybe that was the real goal all along, what has Trump ever said about the petrodollar? We take the western sphere of influence and leave the east to China. I think that's preferable for both countries compared to a multi-polar world
>>62060456>da j00zYeah, you’re gonna be poor lmao
>>62060440Not if the US starts intercepting ships.Which would be even more bullish for your oil bags, double retard.
I bought goyslop lads. Cake and ice cream. Just this once.
>>62060453ty i will check those out. my info stream for the markets sucks balls rn
>>62060455>Boots in the ground & 17D NWO still on!
>>62060432They wont. You assume there is no other global pressure on them and they are free to do as they please. It may seem that way to you, but there are other currents you may not be aware of.
legend has it if you go innawoods on a clear night call out 'NIGGERS!' you can hear natgasanon reply
>>62060462Post portfolio. Protip: you can't. You're literally a shill posting from an Israeli government bunker that always spams the same off-topic shill talking points in /smg/ over and over again no matter how many times you get BTFO. Do us all a favor and go catch an Iranian missile.
>>62060437Maybe you live in the ghetto. I see that too but I also see other areas booming. K-shaped economy, baby.>>62060446I think the time for surprise black-ops operations has passed.
>>62060472naysayers will hold it's simply a lonely owlbut i heard him'NIGGERS!''Jooooooos'
Can't believe that guy used to beat the shit out of Asians and blacks and got away with it
>>62060446sounds about right honestly. we're gonna need an AI gen of meme JD carrying out this operation>>62060465they're not even intercepting the iranian ones
Any /smg/iggers who long oil is a traitor and terrorist. You WILL be keelhauled
>>62060465That would be tantamount to WW3 if they started doing that to other nuclear armed powers. But then again, they might actually be dumb enough to try it anyway. It is literally impossible to be sufficiently long on oil right now.
>>62060486Two more weeks, trust Bibi!
oil Jeet we did this for you! Thank you for guiding our spirits forward. We are so back!
Trump having a press conference post market on April 1st feels like some real endgame shit for this clown world script we're all trapped in
>>62060487Iran has been blowing up tankers that go to other nuclear powers all month long.They want to play without any international maritime law? They can find out what that means.
>got my car inspected on saturday, no problems>got drunk>pissed off some people at a local bar due to being an asshole when drunk>not banned from the bar or arrested or anything, but kind of in a spot where I don't want to go back thereI find that alcohol takes the stress off, but when I sober up it adds new problems. I was also so hungerover and concerned with these new problems I missed the bottom. I've been reducing my alcohol consumption for a while, guess I'm going to limit it further to, idk, holidays.
>>62060476The whole point is that it's all fake...there won't actually be a black op. They will tell the media they achieved their goals and iranians get to call it fake news and gloat about beating them, they will only need to sacrifice a handful of no name officials for this headline and everyone else walks away from this shit show. Only bibi/israel have any incentive to prolong this to continue occupying lebanon and keep bibi from going to prison.
I simply till the letfs for thetaJust a simple farmer man
man i open up youtube and every stock trader faggot youtuber is talking about the jpm collar. jesus fuck retail is doomed
>>62060499>just use the US navy to place an oil embargo on China, bro!>it's no big deal, bro!This is your brain on zionism. Buy oil.
>It was the end of the first quarter today
>>62060504wot dat?
mmm the goyslop is so good. Time for another reminder. Buy BP. Why?>New management turning company around>Shares were going up even before oil crisis>£6 share gets you £10 worth of oil sales>If just 5% of those sales are converted to profit your shares will still be cheaper per earnings than XOM or even SHEL
>>62060503If I forced you to put everything into 2 you could not touch for a decade, which 2 would you pick?>>62060502And the Arabs who are tired of Iran's constant meddling shit, and the kurds, and pic related.
>>62060494He'll just congratulate himself on what a terrific job he did, complain about NATO, the EU and congress blocking his ballroom process (king is coming in a few weeks) then invade Cuba.Possible mental institutions. We'll have to see.
>>62060500I feel like no-one likes me at my local bar.
>Russian tankers get seized all year long. Nothing happens.>Suggest seizing Iranian tankers.>”NOOO YOU CANT DO THAT, CHINA WILL LE NUKE YOU! NOOOO I WAS PROMISED DEAD AMERICAN SOLDIERS ON THE SHORES OF KHARG ISLAND! YOU CANT JUST TAKE THE SHIPS WHERE I CANT HIT YOU BACK THATS NOT FAIR.”kek
>>62060501stop posting slop you fucking retarded jeet
>>62060492R.I.P Rajesh.
>>62060516>the KurdsTwo more weeks!
>>62060518Do you keep trying to sell them BP shares?
>>62060524I just feel bad for them and their hot snipers.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jftkDlcBD0
>>62060145the trend is obviously down, and the supply shock are just starting to being felt this month, so yeah
>>62060504i'm detecting high levels of seethe from this ID
>>62060516None of that was never getting fixed through war. Energy crisis will only exacerbate this and rally locals to the flag. Anyways I feel this is getting too /po/ adjacent. The US risks a lot more than muh geopolitics if this war goes on for (ironically) 2 more weeks. Everyone wants off this ride but israel.
>>62060527No. I don't bother telling normies to invest anymore. They just say "it's gambling" and walk away.
>>62060511My Discover card bonuses change
>>62060516i'm not buy and hold nigger, I don't think I'd want HYMC longer than 5 years. ASTS for a decade, I think it's too big to fail and it's literal future tech
>So called “oil bulls” when you suggest that soon Iran might not be exporting their oil (to china)
>>62060513dont worry about it, theres no alpha in knowing
>>62060520>seizing the oil exports of a beleaguered country that's already bogged down in Ukraineversus>seizing the critical oil *imports* of a country significantly stronger than Russia that's already looking for a fight, providing them with the existential threat causus belli that they need to go full HAM in the PacificYeah, you're a fucking retard. That's how the war with Japan started, which dragged the US into WW2. Buy oil as though your life depends on it.
>>62060538>just repeat the same exact conditions that brought the US into WW2 bro>it definitely won't cause WW3 this time bro>trust me bro
>>62060529I know some Kurds. They're pretty chill.
You are seething so fucking hard.
>>62060511I still haven't taken down my Christmas tree. Might just leave it up til the next one at this point.
>>62060541if there alpha in being a slinky faggot?
>>62060546*nukes china**no longer have to read wumao shillpostsSeems worth it.
>>62060548>say something retarded>someone points out why it's retarded>"y-you're seething"???
>>62060339i think that's too low babe. if they ipo'd at that valuation i would buy. just on government contracts alone they'll exceed that valuation. i love you and i'm thinking about you right now, hope you're doing alright.
>>62060552Surely WW3 will make the line go up.
>>62060532I honestly dont think boots on the ground is as big a deal as people think. America can easily win the war in 2 months, and as long as they arent as retarded as bush and allow the Generals a seat at the government you wont have Iraq/Afghanistan 2.0. Outlawing the taliban and most important the bathist party was the decade long death sentence. Kill the 30% that refuse to surrender, give pardons and government jobs yo the 70% that do. Iran already has democracy and the majority are pro west. Its a little known fact but you can look it up, the taliban tried to surrender in 2001. Would have been a totally different ballgame had Bush accepted.
If AI didn't exist, these things wouldn't happenhttps://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/1s92fql/my_son_pleasured_himself_in_front_of_gemini_live/
What zany market tricks can we expect for April Fool's Day?
>>62060558Do bulls really believe this?
>>62060561Confetti filled nukes would be pretty decent.
>>62060561If dubs, Trump literally fellates a Jewish man's schwartz on live television. The S&P 500 dumps 1000 points.
>>62060566checked
>>62060561My male broker always offers to suck my dick if I give him a ride in my Miata on April fools day. He's a funny guy.
>>62060563In late 2001, following the U.S. invasion, Taliban leaders sought to surrender and negotiate a deal that would have kept them out of power. However, the United States, confident in a total military victory, rejected these surrender offers at the time. The Taliban subsequently regrouped and began a long insurgency. -https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/23/world/middleeast/afghanistan-taliban-deal-united-states.html
>>62060566Dumps 1000 points?
>>62060570Well when Iran tried to negotiate Trump blew them up
>>62060570this time its different
>>62060556I want the wumao post line to go down.
I can stay solvent longer than the market can stay irrational
>The United Arab Emirates is preparing to help the U.S. and other allies open the Strait of Hormuz by military force, according to Arab officials -WSJhttps://xcancel.com/Faytuks/status/2039147776227918027
Is this the second great age of piracy, how come no nation's are commissioning privateers to hunt down the oil fleets?
Friendly reminder every war since 1920 has been crabbish at worst and absolutely bullish following six months after truce
I don’t care if we lose the war Iran I want my stocks to pump. You niggas worried about president Trump when you should worry about the presidents in yo pocket fr fr
>SPX futures green AND oil greenµuuhmm... That doesn't feel very bullish...
>>62060586Whaddaya mean?Everyone's making money :DEven metal fags :3
>>62060578cashgang?
>>62060578The market's trend line is steadily up since its inception. not straight up, not only up, steadily up.
>>62060586trump is either going to recap what's already happened or announce something new tomorrow that will push things one way or another I guarantee it I swear on your mom
>>62060583it's not a war, it's a special combat operation
>BREAKING: The United Arab Emirates is preparing to help the U.S. and other allies open the Strait of Hormuz by military force, according to Arab officials -WSJ>The UAE has also said that the U.S. should occupy islands in the Strait of Hormuz, including Abu Musa, some of the Arab officials said.
>>62060589if everything goes up, does that just mean the dollar went down?
>>62060596every day trump stays in the mid east shit gets worse
>>62060583Wars are only bullish if you win them. Food for thought.
>>62060129I swear to God dude I finally get a paycheck and a nice load of cash Today so I can buy the dip in the stock market and if he TACO's into War Over and stocks go up 10% in two days I might end it. All I needed was my money yesterday dude... jesus christ I am so depressed.
>>62060598Cry more cuckold
They say to gauge the future, look at the bond markets as opposed to the stock market as those investors are supposed to be smart money. Is it the same comparing oil markets to the stock market?
>>62060607Hey israeli government bot, why haven't you posted your portfolio yet? You do have a portfolio, right?
>>62060596Dubai is gonna get bombed to shit.
>>62060607Rude!
>>62060598calm down. we haven't even gotten to US soldiers being dismembered by FPV drones yet. it's going to be a vaccine moment for MIC stocks.
>>62060606Should have borrowed money.
you guys know that the market is closed on Friday right? im holding cash waiting to see what trump does Thursday after market closes.
>>62060616wait are you saying it's bullish for defense?
>>62060611What we eyeing up? Are you going full chimp in?
>>62060620nah only swiss franc euro gbp and cad, dollar markets are wide open
>Trump will give an address to the nation to provide an important update on Iran at 9 pm ET tomorrow. — White Houseafter market closes like usual.
>>62060623extremely. each MIC is going to have some new solution, each more costly than the last to stop drones. GOVT will throw endless cash at it to stop the bad PR and boost GDP for debt refinancing purposes.
>>62060628Just considering exiting my market positions. No way they go higher long term if oil stays at this price or goes higher
>>62060630no matter what retarded shit some of you may think, they are going to pump the market on this. they arent going to waste this bounce were currently getting. they need markets up and they are going to get markets up
>>62060630he's going in.
>>62060630Surely if it was bad news he would wait till market close for the weekend, no? Is it friday or monday off for wallstreet?
TEAR MY LIFE INTO PIECESTHIS IS MY LAST RESORT
>>62060632everything in the market will shit itself to death if we get video of american military getting fucked upi'm longing jet fuel
Don't you ever get tired of speculating on what the orange nigger is going to do next? Why not just buy an oil company with good fundamentals and relax?
>>62060636it's april foolsthey're going to announce a peace deal reachedthey're laughing at you
How much of INTC's revenue comes from their Israeli fabs? This feels like it could be an easy short with Iran announcing that they're going to be striking tech company assets.
>>62060639Kek, journo baggies.
>>62060638MAMAAAAA I DON'T WANT TO DIEEEEEI SOMETIMES WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL
>>62060636Friday because of Good Friday
>>62060639>>62060646Obvious false flag.
>>62060645How does someone that fat make it to 80?
>>62060642DON'T GOO WASTING YOUR EMOTIONLAAY ALL YOUR LOOVE ON MEEE
>>62060656by being a multimillionaire you broke nigga
>I'm trusting the plan>I ain't a panican>I'm slurping the dips>And blessing IsraelLife can be so easy if you just let it be.
>All broadcast TV networks will carry President Trump's address to the nation tomorrow night.G-guys?
>>62060630There's a 3rd carrier heading there now. He's definitely invading. RIP mutt hegemony.
>>62060663Only because the Ford is out of action due to the fire.
>>62060576That depends on if they allow surrender and intergration or not. Thats hugely different, though maybe the US government isn't which a fair point.
>>62060662WAAAAAARRRR! I knew Israel wouldn't let us down, trump has no cards.
>>62060665Fire or someone sharted in the gift shop?
>>62060669>>62060669>>62060669>>62060669NEW BAKE
>>62060630he’s gonna end the war for Good Friday. Causing a massive pump on Thursday.
>>62060662Bong here, how do I watch it?
>>62060663yeah, and when it gets there it will probably relieve one of them and allow it to go home. if we were gearing up for an invasion they'd be calling up reserves.
>>62060662He's announcing a full invasion of Iraq and the immediate drafting of every zoomer with a fortnite account.
>>62060611Oil isnt dropping = equities pump could be short lived yes
>>62060590Mostly just shitposting, but yes, pulled out a week ago and it feels good to not have to worry about how this clownmarket behaves. Maybe I'll lose out on some gains, but its not fucking worth it man. Also pretty sure its going to hard crash when/if boots on the ground happens
>>62060645looks like AI but i have no problem believing it
>>62060606there will be more dips
>>62060404Let the goyim deal with the real world
>>62060516thanks doc
