I'm self employed and have some significant downtime around this time of the year so I like to spice things up by applying for jobs that I have no intention of getting just so I can fuck with the people who interview me. I try to make sure the interview is somewhat close to home, or if it's in the CBD, I have something else going on there on the same day and I don't mind getting dressed up. It's been a fun but also pretty eye opening experience that has shown me just how much bullshit you can get away with in an interview before they either call it early or, in some rare instances, offer you the job.Some consistencies I try to maintain throughout interviews:>if there is a woman present (90% of the time there is), always direct answers to her questions to the male interviewer (interviews are always 2+ people) and never acknowledge the woman apart from the initial handshake upon meeting>sometimes yawn loudly when being asked a question. end the yawn with lip smacking>if they ask why I'm tired or allude to me having a "big night?" the night before, say I was at the strippers all night and almost forgot about this interview>follow it up with an inquiry about "any good strip joints I should know about when I start working here?" (several interviews have ended here)>pull out my cigar humidor mid interview and ask if they mind me lighting one up (all but one said I wasn't allowed to smoke in the building)>strategically alternate which leg I have crossed as many times as possible without arousing suspicion and slap my knee when I do>seem mildly irritated when they ask questions. the first question I'm always asked is "so tell us about yourself". reply with "you've read my CV, correct? then I believe with can dispense with the inanities and move on to the real meat and potatoes. fire away"I've been called back for further interviews 3 out of the ~20 something times I've done this and been formally offered 2 positions on the same days I've been interviewed
I've thought about just getting jobs as a joke and seeing how far I can go before they fire me.
>>62075630If everyone handled job interviews more like this, we would all be getting paid more. But employers can smell desperation and people have it. So we are in a race to serfdom.
>>62075630sometimes i like to drive 15 mph under the speed limit on the left lane of i95 going into philly during rush hour just to make wageniggers seethe.
I often warn other incoming drivers with a headlight flash signal of incoming speed cameras. the kicker is there are no speed cameras, I just do it to get a kick out of it. I look in the back mirror and whenever I see their tail lights lighting up I get a big smirk on my face. I also add hand gestures from time to time. Driving is boring and this shit makes it somewhat more enjoyable. Am I mentally ill or is that normal behaviour for a 38 year old man?
Funny thread kek
>>62075630None of that actually happened in real life
>>62076700No, this is correct human behaviour.
Attention: this is a real and based /biz/ thread. this is board culture and needs to be preserved
>>62078445thank you for your attention to this matter
That's fucking funny OP, what did you say to the people who offered you a job?
>>62075793get a fun job>>62076656That's why they say to apply for jobs when you have a job. The difference is night and day. If you're only applying for jobs while unemployed, you're living on hard mode.
i am on unemployment bucks so my job is literally to do what OP does in order to NOT be hired and keep getting the NEETbucks
>>62075630thisis funny. what kind of jobs are you applying to i would like to have some fun to
