>brooo just work on yourself and the pvssy will come crawling!!>chase money, not women, then women will chase you instead!!>women are born with value, men have to CREATE value!!Whoops, looks like shekelberg and the redpill self improover advice is a psyop to make you a tax paying slave workdrone content with the current matriarchal system
>>62123557>womenwho cares> tax paying slave workdrone i'm unironically a high income tax evader suck my dick Next demoralization thread mosche please
>>62123557>>62123574Ah yes, this is the incel thread for today women bad right guys? i cant have sex! Reeeee
>>62123557Pack it up boys, we gonna ganggang rot in our beds tonight >>62123577>hurr durr you will never get a woman, be demoralized >I don’t care>hahaha see incel? It means you hate womenNigga why care about shit that you can’t have?
this is so wrong because it doesn't include other aspects of why having money is important for menIf you are poor but attractive physically you might be able to get some girls occasionally, but you will never ever keep them for as long as there is another man with decent attractiveness AND who has money. Women will leave you for this man eventually.The simple stuff applies here to boost your attractiveness like taking care of yourself, being socially competent and etc, but if you have no money whatsoever unfortunately you will lose eventually in the dating market to someone who does, barring some exceptions because there is always variance and luck or you could just be literally the best guy in every aspect except for money and maybe she feels she can't find a better replacement so she stays with you but this is 0.01% of cases.deadbeat relationships exist where 2 deadbeats get together that have no looks or money but this is not the relationship anyone strives for and usually happens because no other options exist.Taking into account the fact that you can literally get clowned on in 2026 for being a brokey and all their friends will clown on you too behind your back telling her she can do better than a broke ass nigga, you have no shot without money at anything long term with these increasingly vapid women
>>62123644I think everyone knows that if you're broke, you have no chance in dating. And everyone knows if you're broke, you should focus on getting a job before trying to date.I think the question is: If you have money and a comfortable life, does having more money and a more lavish lifestyle help with dating/relationships?
>>62123644>>62123679Both of you never leave the basement. To get sex you just have to not be autistic. Which is a huge filter for this place
>>62123679I think as long as your girlfriend believes she can work less hard in life because your money is enough to support a lifestyle above the ordinary, and potentially her children in the future too, you will do just fineA lavish lifestyle attracts certain types of women for example a lavish lifestyle would greatly increase your relationship chances with hoes, but a more conservative type of woman would be fine with the first part of what I wrote. So i guess it depends on how many hoes you want but these aren't considered healthy and stable relationships and most of the time just involve sex for 1 night and nothing else
>hot guy making 80k>mid guy making 100k>omg she chose the first one, this proves money doesn't matter!!I want to see concrete numbers when they talk about money. If they talk about difference between making like 80k to 100k, its not that life changing, especially if you pay tax + invest + 401k etc. You would have to compare people making 80k to people making >300k to even see a difference in lifestyle.
>>62123709Anyone can fuck an ugly fat bitch. Sex is meaningless and can't be used to measure anything other than how much sex you can have because no other metrics are considered like her looks, if shes a whore, how fat and desperate she is, etc. If sex was a measurement of success then the drug dealer who pimps out his ice addicted girlfriends would be considered successful
>>62123709Fuck off>>62123715Yes I think you're right. But the internet also makes it look like hoes are everywhere, when in reality it's only a small percentage of women. The vast majority just want a guy who earns enough for an ordinary life, but that being said, I think it's a huge condition for them, and many of them deliberately shame guys who are unemployed or broke.
>>62123722>Anyone can fuck an ugly fat bitchThe thing what this guy >>62123709 said>To get sex you just have to not be autistic. Which is a huge filter for this placeIs kind of true. Like I know from my personal experience that when I go to the club some times like 2 to 4 badies start fighting on the dance floor for my attention. What I do is really simple. I literally do not do anything. What do I mean by this? I go to the dance floor. My intention is to dance and have fun. Suddenly a wild bird appears out of nowhere and starts dancing in front of me all slutty and stuff. I do LITERALLY NOTHING and just dance onward. Other women see that I'm "rejecting" her and probably think to themselves something along the lines "I'm better looking than her. I can clearly see this man is a man of quality. He will pick me if I go and shake my ass and throw my hair at him.". So then another wild shawty appears and she starts to literally push the other one away and then they start fighting and then suddenly like 1 or 2 more just suddenly appears and what do I do? I LITERALLY DO NOT DO A THING. I just dance because I think it's fun to dance. Do you see what I mean? Women like to hunt man and throw the "signals". In the club it's usually shaking their ass in front of you, looking back with puppy eyes, and throwing their hair at you constantly. If you simply IGNORE the first one suddenly like 1 to 3 more challengers will appear and all of them will try to outcompete the other. It's fucking disgusting to be honest. And you just need to do NOTHING and have FUN and DANCE and then the leeches come in order to do what? Leech your fun onto them. Why? Because a lot of people simply can't have fun by themselves. I can go to the dance floor and have fun alone and be satisfied with it. I don't need 4 hoes shaking their asses in front of me in order for me to be satisfied. It's all about having your needs covered in your insides. These women don't, TO BE CONTINUED
>>62123557tldr for retards?
>>62123740These women just want me to suddenly start grinding my dick on their fucking asshole while putting my hands all over her. While also sharing my fun and enjoyment with her. Then other girls see what's happening and they start flocking. So, they see me having fun, they see this baddie shaking her ass in front of me and me ignoring her and that turns on their competitive nature. They also start thinking I'm probably like high status or something because of it. It gets really weird to be honest at times. And they then get all upset because I haven't put my dick on their ass. It's like looking at little children who don't get what they want. It's a psychological mess. And they start becoming relatively violent with each other. They start pushing each other and freaking out at each other. They use their finger nails and poke each other into like the ribs and stuff. It's disgusting to be honest. They literally don't even talk to me. They just expect me to behave like a fucking animal and they just want me to grind my cock on their ass. At least talk to me first. It really is in a way demeaning to see them act in that way. They act like I'm a piece of fucking meat. They're soo used to guys being easy to get. Like they're used to just shaking their ass in front of a guy and the guy going for it IMMEDIATELY. The moment that tactics doesn't work it all starts to get really fucking weird and messy. Most guys get suckered into women's beauty. If a woman see's she can control you through her looks YOU'RE FUCKING FINISHED. She's going to play you like a toy. You should treat women like a man. If a man is a acting out then you tell him. If a woman is acting out then you tell her. If you're too afraid of losing her because she's cute then she'll use that against you. She'll notice it really fast too. Women have a radar for man who can't say no to her because she's hot. NEVER do stuff for a person because they look nice. They'll use it against you like a fucking weapon.
if you do anything in life with the sole goal of getting pussy you're ngmi
>>62123741they nitpicked a bunch of shit like "we asked college students which of their peers they consider to be successful in the future" and bullshit like "singles event outcomes" like lmfao they are proving my point from >>62123719they literally just took random middle class people and asked them shit. They are all within their order of magnitude. The differences are negligible. I'm talking about people in the 5% of income in USA + assuming they take care of themselves.
>>62123751>The moment that tactics doesn't work it all starts to get really fucking weird and messySo, it's like this. IF the only tactic in life, as a woman, you've ever learned is to shake your ass and be nice looking and then suddenly you find a man on which that shit does not work then what do you do? Like think about it. You're this 7 or 8/10 woman who could get any guy just based on her looks. Suddenly you meet me and I don't give a fuck and all your tactics don't fucking work anymore. You suddenly start to feel a roller coaster of negative emotions and I think they might even enjoy that happening. And then their programming starts to like malfunction because if shaking their ass doesn't work then maybe if she looks back at me even more it'll help, and maybe if she throws her hair onto me it'll work, and maybe if she starts brushing up against me it'll work. There was this one woman who started violently poking me with her finger nails into my ribs. Bro, these women act like animals if they don't get what they want. A lot of women are entitled as fuck when it comes to men. They believe that because they're hot that man should simply do their bidding when they decide he's todays "fuckboiii". They suddenly don't feel desired anymore and because of that their programming starts to malfunction because probably no one has ever done that to her. She in a sense needs to grow in order to get me because I don't reinforce that kind of behaviour. If she actually just talked to me in a nice manner and asked if we can dance then sure. If she thinks that shaking her ass in front of me is IT for me then please no. To me it's like saying "You're an animal and therefore if I shake my ass for you you'll grind your dick on my ass like an animal". It's just disgusting behaviour. It's beneath me.
>>62123557if you really believed this, why are you posting it? you have your path, just follow it, if you actually believe it.
>>62123759You conveniently forgot the 3 studies with actual couples data
>>62123722I can't, anon. Even the ugly slampig prostitutes with a thousand filters ask for my photo first to see if she wants me as a client and then they just tell me "sorry but no" with no further explanations. I imagine this 40 years-old fat bitch sharing my pictures later with her prostitute friends , all laughing how ugly and unfuckable i am. I wish there was some justice in this world, but regrettably some men like me can't experience love or even meaningless sex for a prostitute, even if i offer to double the money
>>62123719After controlling for the fact that attractive women marry attractive men, they found no correlation between her attractiveness and his income
>>62123557kek why is Prince WIlliam always getting cucked.
>>62123644All of this is retarded psycho shit lmao>be ugly dude>have no money and a small dick>women don't want you>have a million bucks but otherwise same>now you have a gfYou guys are obsessing over shit like "having all the 10/10s" when just having one source of pussy is enough and that's the point of money, even if you're fucking 18yo prosties in thailand. Like damn.
>>62123769>>62123751Shit only works if you are decent looking man.If you are average or below, lmao, good luck. Like you be on a dance floor and you see people dance ALL AROUND YOU, and you are still dancing by yourself.You be on the dance floor, dancing on the little spot you for behind two cuties with great assess and they will give ZERO attention to you.Been there, done that.
>>62126885>Shit only works if you are decent looking man.Well. That presumes that I'm good looking, right? I'm decent, yet I'm not above average.>Been there, done that.Were you on the dance floor to attract women or to just have fun? Because I'm there to JUST HAVE FUN. I DO NOT CARE if a woman appears or doesn't appear. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. It's like 50/50. Like, I would never intentionally go behind a girl just for her to start giving me her attention. I just go where it feels right, I start having fun and 50% of the time in about like 20min to 40min women start spawning in. Like, do you see what I mean? My INTENTION isn't to get women to fight over me. I literally don't even think about that stuff. I just have fun.
>>62126908Are they even hot doe
>>62126912Yes. I'd say that like 80 to 90% of the time they are. But looks are subjective. From my PoV they're badies. Someone else might say 5/10 average grills.Guys, don't try to attract women. JUST BE ATTRACTIVE and when I say that I don't mean that you should look good. Sure, work on your looks. Don't look like a fucking bum. But like, when I say "be attractive" I mean, just do your own thing and have fun with it. Find joy in the thing you do and suddenly women will look at you and be like "OMG, he's having fun. I want that too". Even if you aren't that great looking women will start appearing. There's even a song about it -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A
>>62123557how the fuck is this trash still on the catalog?>>62123557>>62123577glowies talking to themselves
>>62123557This is nonsense.. Just google random ugly celebrities.Most studies are bullshit, they are poorly designed, the data analysis is done to specifically prove their hypothesis which often lead to manipulation, and often the conclusions are not supported by the data at all.
>business board>look inside>the same shit you see anywhere elsethis website is completely fucked
>>62126924Gee, thanks coach
>>62126924>business boardi'll blow my fucking brains out
>pvvvsy
GET IT OFF THE CATALOGTHIS IS THE BUSINESS BOARDFIFTEEN FUCKING HOURSONE OF THE BIGGEST SOCIAL MEDIA SITES ON THE INTERNETGET IT OFF
>>62126936No problem young Gupta. Soon you will get your little flower.>>62126938The same advice I'm handing out also applies for business. Don't attract people. Just become ATTRACTIVE. Work on yourself and you'll suddenly attract attractive people and by attractive I don't mean good looking to be exact. I mean people who know what they're doing, who excel, who have skills, who have knowledge, who have fun while working hard. These types of people are attracted by attractive people, people like they themselves are.
>>62126952that's fair advicestill this is a 1pbtispam garbage thread
HELLOOOOOOOOO?
>>62126968Whatup?
>>62126930>just be a celebrity bro
>>62126908I know exactly what you mean. I used to “try” to “position” myself around or behind girls I wanted, or try to dance close to them etc. but then I fucking gave up.So I just started to dance on my own, like I go to a club, find a place, and I start dancing, whatever. No shits given. For some fucking reason all I get is guys give me high fives, or start “hyping” me for my “skills” (I got none) or fucking dance battle me for god knows why.I got no girls though. Yet I see what you described a lot. I see a guy dancing, maybe there are women close by, or maybe they are not, but sooner or later, they be women in there, and All of a sudden someone is grinding on his dick. Out of nowhere.It means you look good dude, maybe height too.Then again I seen shorter than me guys get it too, fat guys, narrow shoulder guys, maybe ugly guys..It’s funny, it’s like I am the joke of this universe. Like every night gods arrange a full roster of guys with my insecurities manifested , and then proceed to pair them up with beautiful women and have them dance all around me while I never get anything even when i try. It really hurts and I don’t know why I am even keep doing this to myself.
>>62126930>Studies are bad because anecdotal evidence
>>62123644> but you will never ever keep themThis. Most of my better relationships, the ones where I would've married the girl without a second thought, eventually failed due to struggling finances. The struggle is balance. Also, as you get older, women expect you to make more. If you're 35+ they don't just expect you can pay your rent and afford to go out with them several nights a week, they expect you to be buying a house soon and to be able to replace/repaid their vehicle if it has trouble.
>>62127052>I know exactly what you mean. I used to “try” to “position” myself around or behind girls I wanted, or try to dance close to them etc. but then I fucking gave up.People just feel the desperation from you. It's not just women to be honest.>It means you look good dude, maybe height too.I dunno man, sure I'm not bad looking, yet I'm not thaaat gooood looking. And I'm like 168cm in the evening and 172cm in the morning (due to the plates compressing). So in the club I'm 168cm from all the jumping around.>It’s funny, it’s like I AM THE JOKE OF THE UNIVERSE. Like every night gods arrange a full roster of guys with my INSECURITIES manifested , and then proceed to pair them up with beautiful women and have them dance all around me while I NEVER GET ANYTHING even when i try.>IT REALLY HURTS and I don’t know why I am even keep doing this to myself.That sounds rough man. Seeing all of these people, who you BELIEVE "aren't worthy" get it while you don't. Seems a bit awkward, right? Here you're standing thinking to yourself "I'm not that good looking" and these people who also "aren't that good looking" are getting girls and you feel INSECURE about that. So, instead of dancing and having fun you're looking around at other people, being INSECURE, not being in the moment, being anxious and desperate for attention. Makes a person really wonder why people don't flock to you, right?Bro, it's all coming from inside you. I don't mean to be an asshole and if I'm being a dick about it then I apologize, just trying to point it out to you. The moment you notice it, that same moment it'll start to dissolve. You literally are leaking it out everywhere. Just re-read what you wrote and think to yourself "Would people be attracted to this kind of behaviour? Would I be attracted to myself?" and I'm not saying you can't be attractive. I'm saying is that you are maybe sabotaging yourself by having EXPECTATIONS of what you want people to do.
>>62127088Unless you look decent and then you can be a literal social anxious mess with no job or income, and women will excuses it with “oh it’s ok, the heart is the most important part, not money” Its true when women say “the bar is in hell” but it’s only for men she find attractive Notice I didn’t said you need to look like chad fuckhammer, just be an 8.
>>62127052>It really hurts and I don’t know why I am even keep doing this to myself.Like this sentence. Ask yourself "Why does it hurt?". I'd guess if we talked for long enough it hurts because you have this EXPECTATION of girl grinding on your dick and they don't.See here;>Yet I see what you described a lot. I see a guy dancing, maybe there are women close by, or maybe they are not, but sooner or later, they be women in there, and All of a sudden someone is grinding on his dick. Out of nowhere.You even say itAnd then you do what? Rationalize and say>It means you look good dude, maybe height too.BUT at the same time you say>Then again I seen shorter than me guys get it too, fat guys, narrow shoulder guys, maybe ugly guys..I see this all the time. You don't see what's happening and then you point to the thing you believe is happening. So, it's like this. Imagine you're a girl with low self-worth. You're a beautiful girl that's a 9/10. A true badie. BUT you don't have any confidence, you have LOW self-worth. If someone tells you "You're beautiful", what do you think she's do? Say "No I'm not" and then she'll point to a mole under her armpit that NO ONE CAN SEE and she'll be like "Look, I'm ugly. I TOLD YOU SO". So, what I'm saying is that if you feel a certain way then those emotions will LATCH ONTO ANYTHING THEY CAN FIND. TO BE CONTINUED
>>62127125Dude are you incapable of reading? I said I USED to position myself. I used to look around me TRYING to get a woman attention.That was me in the past. But I am not doing it anymore and NOTHING has changed.So no, not desperation.Also, desperation? I seen guys do the shit I did before, hang around women and shit, and got girls dancing with them. Not me either So what is this?Also just because I am self aware doesn’t mean I “ooze out insecurity” i seen guys who even I saw as desperate get attention But whatever man, I said all this to say I know what you mean. Don’t need your advise, because reality doesn’t act the same toward me.
>>62127052>>62127142So, in your case. A part of you might believe you're a loser or that you're NOT GOOD ENOUGH or that you're NOT WORTH IT. And then what happens? You go onto the dance floor, you drag this feeling along with you. People notice and avoid you. They smell the desperation, low self-worth and low confidence. Then you look at other people who might be, from your point of view, uglier than you are yet they still manage to get their dick grinded on. Then what do you do? You look at yourself and because you aren't actually CONSCIOUSLY aware of your low confidence you point to your looks and height and say "I'm ugly and short". And it's not just that, saying "I'm not confident. I don't feel positive on the inside" is what? It's EMOTIONALLY HARD and therefore you put "logic" on top of that emotion and start saying "I'm short and ugly". Saying "I'm short and ugly" is WAAAAYYYYY easier than saying "I have a confidence issue that I need to work on. I don't feel positive feelings and people avoid me because of it.". Bro, you got this. You'll just have to take a good long look at yourself and figure out where all of this negativity is coming from. And trust me, all of this can be healed. I've had it rough too. I was in a similar place as you are right now. My parents had a really bad divorce that lasted for YEARS, MULTIPLE years. My relationship fell apart at the same time. I just started going to college and life just went downhill. I started rejecting all of my friends (this is due to testosterone and oxytocin interaction. Man tend to isolate when they're under stress. While women, due to estrogen, tend to try and find people to hang out with) and isolating. And I still managed to pull myself out. Took me years though
>>62127162>Dude are you incapable of reading? I said I USED to position myself. I used to look around me TRYING to get a woman attention.Yes, I know. It's just. When I read you comment, and and you can tell me to fuck off for saying this, the insecurity is EVERYWHERE. Look>it’s like I am the joke of this universe>my insecurities manifested>I never get anything even when i try.>It really hurts>But I am not doing it anymore and NOTHING has changed.Exactly, a part of you is still insecure. The feeling inside you hasn't changed. You still look at other people, you compare yourself, and you keep saying stuff like >I’s funny, it’s like I am the joke of this universe. Like every night gods arrange a full roster of guys with my insecurities manifested , and then proceed to pair them up with beautiful women and have them dance all around me while I never get anything even when i try. That's the insecurity right there. A part of you feels like a JOKE. That's it and that feeling then changes your behaviour. You give off this aura to people and people unconsciously move away from you because they feel it.>Also, desperation? I seen guys do the shit I did before, hang around women and shit, and got girls dancing with them. Not me either. So what is this?Yes, because they express a different aura. They're confident and even if the got rejected they'd accept it and wouldn't say stuff like>It really hurts and I don’t know why I am even keep doing this to myself.Those people WOULD NOT get hurt. They'd be fine with it and people smell that. People are attracted to people who don't get hurt by rejection. TO BE CONTINUED
>>62127162>>62127191>Also just because I am self aware doesn’t mean I “ooze out insecurity” i seen guys who even I saw as desperate get attentionI'm not exactly sure what you mean by >Also just because I am self aware doesn’t mean I “ooze out insecurity”>Don’t need your advise, because reality doesn’t act the same toward me.And you don't need to listen to anything I say. Your opinion is your own and my opinion is my own. I'd just like to say that reality acts the same to everyone. The moment you notice that reality is the same towards the everyone you'll also notice that the only COMMON DENOMINATOR is you. You can't change other people, it's not your right. The only person you CAN change is YOU. You have the RIGHT to change your emotions, thoughts and behaviours.I can clearly hear that you're having a rough time and that you feel like the whole world is betraying you in some way and that you're getting rejected and that it's not fair and in many ways it's probably not. And at the same time I'm saying that people pull out of stuff like this and you CAN TOO. Blaming reality, your height and looks will not change a thing. You can't affect those. Sure, you can extend your limbs. You can work on your looks. And that might help and if you really believe that then go for it. The thing is though, a part of you will still feel insecure and I guess what I'm trying to say is that you might want to start communicating with that part of yourself and see why it's feeling so negative.
>>62127170>>62127191>>62127210Part of me?LmaoTry “all of me”I know I am insecure, and I know that my physical portions are excuses, I know, because I was insecure way before I knew about height and body and etc.It’s my face, and I can’t change it. I never liked it, even since age like 4 or 5, I remember I avoided getting my picture taken, don’t like getting my picture taken, and never liked to look at my self in mirror. Nothing I can do about it, was with me since being super young.And guess what? The logical conclusion for a guy with my amount of insecurity is to stay home, and rot in bed, with occasional bitching about women online, but I don’t, I go out and dance, cause I realize I only live once, bad or good.When I said it’s hard and I don’t know why I even do this, is because it’s really mess you up big time when you are always “in the middle” but alone, you dance, but no one dances with you.Hell, even when I go out with friends and there happen to be a female friend, so that female friend never dances with me.Shit do “wonders” for my already shattered self confidence.>but your insecurity shows and women don’t dance with you because of thatNah, I mask pretty good. People keep saying I am super chill and relax and my vibe is good and all. But inside me is hell.Add that I am 32, and that I never had anyone interested in me (I can see when they are interested in someone else though) in decades, and it’s just a cocktail of inferiority complex.And I understand what you are saying, but it really didn’t work for me. I still say, you “not giving a fuck” works wonders for a lot of guys, not me, never did for me.I still go out and I do all that shit, and rejected or whatever, cause do or don’t, you gonna pass the day and I rather do. Not saying I am not butthurt that it never works the way it works for other people though.
>>62127340>but I don’t, I go out and dance, cause I realize I only live once, bad or good.That's great! You go boy!>When I said it’s hard and I don’t know why I even do this, is because it’s really mess you up big time when you are always “in the middle” but alone, you dance, but no one dances with you.Yes, and I understood that loud and clear! What I'm trying to convey to you is that you're entitled to your feeling YES. You are, that feeling is healthy and is just trying to keep you away from danger and that's good and at the same time it's causing you pain. And where does that feeling come from? Look, you even say it yourself, you already have it figured out I'm just here to emphasize it so you get a better understanding>you are always “in the middle” but alone, you dance, but no one dances with youYou have an EXPECTATION of people dancing with you and I know it's rough to accept. You have an EXPECTATION in the form of "If I dance then I EXPECT people to dance with me.". Ok, so let's say this. If I EXPECT something and don't get it how do I feel? Negative. If I EXPECT nothing and get or don't get it how do I feel? Neutral. Do you see what I mean? It's like entitled people (I'm not implying you're entitled, it's just an example to clarify), they always EXPECT stuff, right? Are entitled people content, joyful and at peace? No. Why is that? Because they have all of these expectations and if they don't get what they're "ENTITLED" to then they're upset, right? And I'm not saying it's right or wrong. It really IS NOT about that. It's about UNDERSTANDING how feelings work. Once you get that having expectations is literally what's HOLDING YOU BACK you'll stop having them and just dance in the middle and if someone joins or doesn't that WON'T FUCKING MATTER. But I bet that sooner or later someone will join in. And you know what? When they do, you also WON'T GIVE A FUCK. The ONLY expectation you should have is to EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. TOBECONTINUED
>>62127340>Hell, even when I go out with friends and there happen to be a female friend, so that female friend never dances with me.Have you tried asking her like "Hey, do you want to go to the dance floor with me?" BUT WHEN YOU ASK DON'T EXPECT A YES or NO. Look ,it's like this. Ask her in order to EXERT CONTROL over your life. Don't ask her IN ORDER TO GET A YES. Do you see the difference? One is ACTION-ORIENTED, the other is OUTCOME-ORIENTED. You're not there to get a yes or no out of here. You're there for the SPECIFIC REASON TO JUST ASK HER. So, if the whole point is to JUST ASK HER and YOU DO then how are you going to feel afterwards? Amazing, because you did what you set out to do, right? If she says no you won't feel rejected, why? Because you had NO EXPECTATION of that. The only "expectation" you had was of your ACTION and not the OUTCOME of your action. You're ENTITLED to your ACTIONS but not the OUTCOMES.Carol Dweck wrote a few books, dedicated her life on outcome-oriented vs action-oriented mindset. Maybe read them. We know, it's been SCIENTIFICALLY proven than an ACTION-ORIENTED MINDSET works better. It's like, you're looking at the top of mount Everest and instead of paralyzing yourself with "OMG, that's soo far away" you just take the NEXT STEP and suddenly you're at the top of Everest! The NEXT STEP is the MOST important step.And don't get me wrong, this stuff doesn't just change itself over night. Your neurons in your brain don't just magically re-arrange. This takes time and dedication and effort. Think about it. What uses up more energy? Your neurons being frozen in place and not changing OR your neurons re-arranging and changing therefore also your mind and emotions? CHANGING your mind is HARD because it takes EFFORT to re-arrange the neurons in your brain. Your mind therefore DOES NOT want to change because not changing means it doesn't need to put in effort. Also, if your mind changes then the mind dies and gets reborn. TBC
>>62127371Actually, desu, i don’t. I don’t expect them to dance with me. Like I am 100% expected that I gonna die alone. That’s my situation. But when I am in the middle been dancing for like 1 or 2 hours and then I see that “together but alone” circle around me, well I feel miserable. I know logically, that for one reason or another, no one will dance with me, but then at moments like that, it becomes painful.Thing is, I do all that sober cause my liver won’t take it anymore, so imagine what I am going through at moments like that.But fair enough, I guess I tell myself to not care if another one hits.Today is Friday so, I gonna go out again as usual.
>>62127340>Nah, I mask pretty good. People keep saying I am super chill and relax and my vibe is good and all. But inside me is hell.Sure, people don't know how to have these kind of conversations. Even if they notice chance is they don't have the capacity, the skill to actually tell you in a compassionate and understanding way. It's one thing to tell someone something and be a dick about it. It's another thing to tell someone in a compassionate way and to help them. Even if you look at this conversation. I'm really trying to not be a dick about it and yet I still make mistakes, right? The only reason I can talk about it to you is because I FUCKING WAS YOU in a lot of ways and I still am and I'm still working on my self-worth and it's hard man, YET not impossible. Everything I'm saying to you is what I had to notice about myself in order to heal. Everything is coming from INSIDE me and applied or applies to me. This is what I had to go through myself and now I GET IT. And it took me A LONG TIME and that's FINE because as I said, neurons re-arranging take time and effort. The 2 most important factors in BEHAVIOURAL CHANGE are SELF-EFFICACY (The belief you can change) and you wanting to change. You need both. And sure, there's going to be a lot of mistakes along the way. Just take those mistakes as a LEARNING OPPORTUNITY instead of a FAILURE. Failure implies "It's over", mistakes imply "This is a learning opportunity". One man's failure is another man's mistake. They're both the same thing, it's just a perspective thing, it's just a cognitive reframe. Cognitively reframe from "I failed" into "I'm INEXPERIENCED and therefore I made a MISTAKE. Once I get MORE EXPERIENCE I'll get it. It's ok buddy, YOU GOT THIS". Self soothe if you make a mistake, tell yourself "It's ok buddy, you'll get in sooner or later. Just keep trying" and pat yourself on the back and then make the NEXT STEP.TBC
>>62127340>I can see when they are interested in someone else thoughSee, there it is. COMPARIONS are a poison of the mind. What's the egos job? Is to compare. The ego compares. It says "I'm ugly"... COMPARED TO WHO? Do you see what I mean? Ego says "I am the BEST"... Again, compared to who? Ego puts you up and puts others down. Ego says "I'm the strongest around. No one is stronger. I'm therefore the best". The ego does comparisons and ego is a trap of the mind. Don't compare. You are WHERE YOU ARE. Accept WHERE YOU ARE and go from there. You can't go from where you are not. That is NOT ACCEPTING OF YOUR SITUATION. If you have a D in mathematics you can't be like "I wish I had an A". No, start working towards a C, when you get a C start working towards a B, when you're at a B start working towards the A. The path from D to C isn't the same as the path from C to B and B to A. Accept you're at a D level. So, ACCEPTANCE is important. ACCEPT your situation, ACCEPT your low self-worth and take the NEXT STEP. The NEXT STEP is the MOST IMPORTANT one you can make. If you don't ACCEPT your situation then you CAN NOT make the NEXT STEP. And I'm not saying you are or aren't accepting it already, I'm just trying to make sure I make it clear enough.ACCEPTANCEGRATITUDEgo a long wayTBC
>>62127340>And I understand what you are saying, but it really didn’t work for me. I still say, you “not giving a fuck” works wonders for a lot of guys, not me, never did for me.Again, at this point you need to tell me more in detail. I'm not saying to not give a fuck. I'm saying that you DO GIVE A FUCK, right? You're at a D level and the "not giving a fuck" is at the A level. You first need to slowly move into the C and B grade. And just a heads up. People who "Don't give a fuck" still do give a fuck, they just ACCEPT THE NEGATIVE EMOTION INSTANTLY AND ROLL WITH IT. Once you PRACTICE ACCEPTANCE for literally years you'll also be able to do that to. Your brain will re-organize, your neurons will OPTIMIZE FOR ACCEPTANCE and BAM, suddenly you'll be able to ACCEPT IT INSTANTLY. Also, this ties back to EXPECTATIONS. The people who "DON'T GIVE A FUCK" don't EXPECT ANYTHING, they just EXERT CONTROL. They go to the dance floor, they dance and they don't EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO ANYTHING. It's like the earlier example of asking your female friend to dance. DON'T EXPECT A YES. JUST EXERT CONTROL AND ASK. What you want to do is ASK, not get a yes. The you getting a YES is NOT UP TO YOU. You can't control other people, what you can control is YOUR OWN MINDSET>Not saying I am not butthurt that it never works the way it works for other people though.I know it's hard man and rough and I can clearly hear that and see that. AND at the same time look at this sentence>it never works the way it works for other people though.That IS THE EXPECTATION. You look at other people, your ego looks at other people and makes the COMPARISON. It says "If they do it then I can also". That's literally the EXPECTATION in and of itself. You're looking at those people. They have a grade A, while you're at a D level and you're COMPARING yourself instead of ACCEPTING that you're NOT THEM.TO BE CONTINUED
>>62123577Don't make fun of him, clearly he is very close to finding a mate with his strategy of complaining, blaming others, and referring to women as "pussy."
>>62127340>it never works the way it works for other people thoughACCEPT, LET GO, MOVE ON and FORGIVE YOURSELF that you ARE NOT the OTHER PEOPLE. YOU ARE YOU AND ARE UNIQUE. Everyone is UNIQUE. Accept that the same logic won't work for you as it does for other people. Let the comparisons go. Let the expectation go. That's what's pushing you down and holding you back. Once you see it it'll start to dissolve and vanish. Accept that what works for other people will not work for you. You are you and you're where you are and those other people are where they are.>the way it works for other peopleYes, that's a COMPARISON and an EXPECTATION. The comparison comes from the ego. Everyones ego works EXACTLY the same way. It compares.>>62127398>I don’t expect them to dance with me. Well if you expect them to not dance with you then that's another expectation, right? Don't expect a yes or a no. The only thing you want to do is ASK and EXERT CONTROL over your situation.>Like I am 100% expected that I gonna die alone.See, another EXPECTATION. And when you ask, when you dance that EXPECTATION is seen in your aura. You give this aura of "I'll be forever alone" therefore people unconsciously "run away" as harsh as it sounds. The moment you notice your chains, that same moment you'll start to break free from them, wake up from the dream and suddenly you'll realize "The chains were a fucking illusion all along. They were never there to begin with. It was just a dream.">Thing is, I do all that sober cause my liver won’t take it anymore, so imagine what I am going through at moments like that.Actually that's great that you stopped drinking. Congrats. And at the same time YES. You pushed down the negative emotions through alcohol, now it's all coming up. Which is ROUGH and HEALTHY at the same time. This is GREAT. It means you're healing. Healing is ROUGH and PAINFUL. It's only normal. Don't do anything with the negativity. JUST NOTICE IT AND SIT WITH IT.TBC
>>62123644You cant be flat broke. But the Chad making $70k/year is going to beat the Chud making $140k/y almost every single time.
>>62127465>Don't make fun of him, clearly he is very close to finding a mate with his strategy of complaining, blaming others, and referring to women as "pussy."Did you actually say that with the intent you did... Is there something wrong anon?>>62127398>Thing is, I do all that sober cause my liver won’t take it anymore, so imagine what I am going through at moments like that.Thing is, I do all that sober cause my liver won’t take it anymore, so imagine what I am going through at moments like that.The thing is. Coping mechanisms like alcohol (substances in general. also behavioural stuff like social media, short term content like Tik Tok, ...) cause your brain to produce dopamine. Dopamine then numbs our your emotional centers, the limbic system. One part of the limbic system is the amygdala, the negative emotions center. If you numb your emotions through alcohol. If you produce dopamine to numb your amygdala then you push the emotions DOWN. Because you stopped drinking all of that started to surface and that's GREAT and ROUGH at the same time. Trust me, it'll go away. I had to go through that myself. I stopped smoking weed. I literally cried myself to sleep for like 6 month every day. Then the next 6 months it was like every 2nd or 3rd day. Now the tears have dried up because there's nothing left in me. I only cry for the pain that's "new". So, I let out what I accumulate in the present. I'm not letting out the things that were in the past anymore. And to be honest I don't need to cry a lot anymore. Like, I've grown past that and so will you. Just let that shit out man, you've been holding it in for too long. Tears heal. Let them wash over you and heal yourself. Maybe even try therapy in order to fasten the process. In the end therapy is literally just you talking about the challenges you're facing and some guy/girl helping you guide you through them. Just remember that not every therapist is suited for every client. Try out a few and make a choice
>>62127398>But fair enough, I guess I tell myself to not care if another one hits.No, don't tell yourself to "Not care". That's devaluing of your emotions. Tell yourself "I care. I feel hurt AND AT THE SAME TIME this is just a tough time in my life and I WILL LEVEL UP FROM IT. I WILL GROW". DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, DEVALUE HOW YOU FEEL BY SAYING "I DON'T CARE". OBVIOUSLY YOU FUCKING DO CARE. It's like. If you see someone crying and you say "Don't cry. Stop careing", that's INVALIDATING and not congruent with reality. If someone is crying and you say "You shouldn't be sad" then that's not helping, right? Talk to yourself like this "I feel sad. I feel hurt and that's ok. I will pull out of this and I will find my way". Validate yourself like you would a little child because that one part of you is a little child. It's hurt and it needs your attention. It's needs you to soothe it, pat it on the back and tell it that it's ok to be sad and at the same time tell it's "It's going to be ok buddy". Go up to a girl, with no expectation of a yes or no, start talking to her for a bit, after like 5 or 10min of chatter ask "Hey, what do you say we hit the dance floor?" if she says no that's fine. If you feel hurt after that just tell yourself "It's ok buddy. I EXERTED CONTROL and I feel great about that. Sure it hurt and that's alright!". IF she says yes don't be happy about it either. If you're happy for a yes, you'll be unhappy for a no. Happiness and sadness are TWO SIDES OF THE SAME FUCKING COIN. If she says yes also don't expect a dick grinder. Just have fun bro. If it happens it happens, if not then fuck it...TBC
>>62127398DON'T DEVALUE HOW YOU FEEL. Control is a form of repression and the nature of the mind is that if you repress something it'll just come back louder and louder. If you say to a person "You should not be sad" then the person will only get even more said. The same applies to you. If you're sad and say "I don't care" then it'll only get WORSE and WORSE. You're literally FIGHTING A PART OF YOURSELF BRO. Don't fight with your mind, you'll lose 100% of the time. ACCEPT your emotions, FORGIVE yourself, LET GO and MOVE ON. Soother yourself like you would a little child, even though it sounds awkward, right? After some time you'll start to get the hang of it. Just take THE NEXT STEP and start CHANGING little by little. You got this. Maybe take a screenshot of what I told you in order to remind yourself.Also, try to find some mental health youtuber (I like HealthyGamerGG, Sadhguru, OSHO, Teal Swan, Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. There are others but this is mostly what I watch and it personally helped me A LOT) . Help is out here, you just need to seek it and the be willing to put in the effort. Maybe even go to therapy! You can heal. I know you can. Again, BEHAVIOURAL CHANGE. The two most important factors are; Believing you can do it (SELF-EFFICACY) and wanting to change!You CAN do this. Maybe even try an implement a few tips today when you go out. Again, DO NOT DEVALUE YOUR OWN EMOTIONS. Maybe take pictures of what I'm saying and read it at the club if you feel negative. AND DON'T EXPECT IT TO JUST WORK IMMEDIATELY. Give it some time. A few weeks, months. Neuronal changes aren't fast. It takes time. Try to notice with each passing week and month the PROGRESS you're making. Trust the process. It'll work out! BUT don't expect it to work out. Seems confusing, right? Don't expect anything and believe it'll work! The subjective feeling of your neurons re-arranging is CONFUSION, right? Since your mind is entering a state of FLUIDITY therefore it feel "unorganized"
>>62127398CHANGING your mind FEELS confusing and like "the wrong path" because you're literally changing parts of yourself. It's like an identity loss thing, that's NORMAL and it'll happen. And you'll feel confused and scared at times and that a NORMAL PART of the process. Your mind will try to make you not change, because if the mind changes then it also dies with the change, right? The mind doesn't want to die. It wants to keep on staying the same therefore it'll try to trick you into not changing it. The mind is NOT you because the mind fluctuates. What constantly changes is NOT YOU. You were born and the mind was empty, the mind was tabula rasa (a clean slate), then stuff started getting filled into your mind. That stuff becomes a part of your mind BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS THE SAME. The challenge is that there's soo much stuff, soo much dust in the mind that we don't even see ourselves anymore. We don't even see our UNCHANGING nature anymore. You are not the mind, you are not the body, you are not your emotions. The mind fluctuates, the body grows and reshapes, your emotions come and go. Everything changes and therefore that IS NOT YOU. You are the one who never changes. You are how? How is I? The SILENT OBSERVER of it all. Pure consciousness. You observer your mind (your thoughts), you observer your emotions, you observe your body. The observed CAN NOT be the observer. Yet still, don't fight your body, mind or emotions. You will lose the fight. ACCEPT, LET GO, MOVE ON and FORGIVE. Express GRATITUDE towards the experience of life. No matter if positive or negative. Every negative even is AN OPPORTUNITY TO GROW. There's actually studies that confirmed that a stress-is-enhancing mentality produces MORE GROWTH HORMONE than a stress-is-debilitating mentality. So, stress is just another tool in your arsenal for GROWTH. BE CURIOUS, BE EXPLORATIVE, EXERT-CONTROL, GENERATE OPTIONS, REFLECT AND ACT.I believe you'll sooner or later have this. HELP IS OUT THERE!
>>6212748822 posts
>>62127436>>62127446What I am saying by “I don’t give a fuck” is that a guy with my situation, who never had anyone interested in him, and who don’t like even like his own voice, should stay home. The fact that I go out and dance, alone, and sober, is already maxing my “don’t give a fuck”I need to keep at it before I get more “I don’t give a fuck” xp>>62127397I did, but imagine this. Like she is dancing with buddy 1 And buddy 2, but don’t even dance with you. Happened multiple times, across different groups.One of the reasons I just fucking go and dance and in my head try to not expect anything ever, is this shit situation happening over and over again, like I am supposedly a friend, we all came together but I am treated like a stranger and I am still dancing? Well shit, I guess I can do it by myself now.
>>621275752 posts>>62127576>who don’t like even like his own voiceThat's the thing. You don't like PART OF YOURSELF. You're rejecting that part and therefore making it LOUDER. Accept it and it'll slowly, over time, go away and become quit because it'll notice "He's actually hearing my signals". Or do you mean "voice" as in your actual talking voice? Or your inner voice? I'm not sure. But it's like this, the more you reject yourself the more you lower your self-worth and confidence. Just accept your voice, inner or outer!>The fact that I go out and dance, alone, and sober, is already maxing my “don’t give a fuck”True, this could be a factor. Might be at your limit yes. You gave up drinking how long ago? Sure, the brain needs to readjust to that of course. My bad for not asking you earlier.>like I am supposedly a friend, we all came together but I am treated like a stranger Again that does sound harsh and at the same time that's an expectation, right? You expect certain kind of TREATMENT>I am treated like a strangerI know this is hard to hear. You expect to be treated a certain kind of way. And maybe, it's you or maybe it's them. Like, what I'm saying is. Do you always go out with the same group of people and this always happens with them? Maybe this ties back to self-respect. Maybe they're just not the group for you, right? Your body keeps sending you signals that they don't respect you and you instead of trying to find new people still insist on the same action. Hell, there might be other psychological factors I'm missing. What you're describing is a complex social situation. We'd probably have to talk VERBALLY for hours to figure that one out. I'm just guessing here anon.
>>62127576>Happened multiple times, across different groups.Oh, nevermind. Ok, let me say this
>>62127576So, you're saying the same thing is happening over and over again with different people, right... I got you.So, again, I'm GUESSTIMATING, but I see this a lot in abusive relationships. Imagine your parents were neglectful towards you and you're a girl (can also be a boy but I'll say a girl for this example). So, you've been neglected by your parents, that's abuse. You NORMALIZE that neglect and it starts to FEEL like home, it FEELS FAMILIAR. Then once you grow up you start dating and you always GRAVITATE towards guys who neglect you in a similar way than your parents did. That's called REPETITION COMPULSION. Google "Repetition compulsion" and look at AI overview (Repetition compulsion is an unconscious, psychological drive to reenact past traumas, painful experiences, or unresolved childhood conflicts in adulthood. Coined by Sigmund Freud, this phenomenon causes individuals to repeat destructive patterns—such as choosing abusive partners or self-sabotaging—in a subconscious attempt to gain mastery, control, or resolution over the original pain.). So, what this girl is doing is she's unconsciously gravitating towards neglectful boys in order to solve her unresolved childhood conflict. So, you say you have low self-worth and stuff like that. Sure, ok. Self-worth is TAUGHT. No child has a low self-worth by default. That shit is TAUGHT and A LOT of times it's taught by their parents. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, you're gravitating towards the people who abuse you in the same way your parents did. And I'm not saying your parents were or weren't abusive. I'm GUESSING in order to give you clues, right? Take it with a grain of salt. There could be OTHER FACTORS at play and that's why I'm saying that maybe the best course would be therapy OR at least find a mental health youtuber that you like to get more angles what might be happening.TBC
>>62127576And again, you say>Happened multiple times, across different groups.Group dynamics might be at play here, right? And we'd have to go case by case and figure out "Hmmm, what's the same exact pattern across all of these groups?". So, you'd have to give me exact examples from a few groups what and how they said something and what you said back, the whole interaction and then we could pick it apart and tease out the underlying patterns. Let me just tell you this. Everything always LIES IN YOU. Except if you're a child who can't take care of himself. Like if you're 12yo and your parents have something like NPD or like APD or BPD and are abusive towards you then you can't do a lot... You can just keep your head low and survive and then leave them as soon as you can. But you're 32, so it's all in you, right? I'm not saying it's fair, I'm not saying you deserve it. I'm saying that you ARE A FACTOR and you just need to figure out how is it that YOU'RE THE FACTOR, right? You are the COMMON DENOMINATOR if you say stuff like>Happened multiple times, across different groups.You are gravitating towards the same kind of people in order to solve some underlying challenge from an earlier part of your life.TBC
>>62127611I meant face. auto corrected>groupsI mean multiple group of friends.Group a group b group c group dAnd no, once a group piss me of , I am done with them. Like i don’t go out with them no more Yeah, I agree. I told you, never liked my face since I was a little kid, and it’s not like I even got called a name for it. I just hated.But that’s maybe one of the psychological issues I have, if there are others, I don’t know about them.Like I said, it’s nothing physical that I know of Becuase people with my same physical “issues” get women anyway It’s just a cope to make this whole shit logicalThe “universe joke” is much more fitting
>>62127611Sorry when I typed 22 posts I had intended to post this reaction image subtly implying WOAH something is wrong with this guy
>>62127576Ok, let me try to explain this angle. You feel low self-worth, right? Let's think about this. Do you know the people who shit, piss and puke on each other? Why do you think that is, right? It's because they have a low self-worth. They have such a low self-worth that they feel like a PIECE OF SHIT, like GARBAGE, like a WASTE OF SPACE. So, if you take a shit in their mouth then what does that do for them? It VALIDATES their feeling of feeling like an absolute GARBAGE PIECE OF SHIT HUMAN BEING. So, what might be happening is you gravitate towards the people who validate your feeling of low self-woth, who neglect you and therefore validate the feeling inside you, right? Maybe the neglect was caused by your parents and now you're doing a repetition compulsion and trying to solve that issue, right? And so you gravitate towards people who disrespect you in the same ways your parents did? Maybe, maybe not.>>62127655That's great that you have your own opinions and at the same time I have enough self-respect to know that that's not true.
>>62127657What? lol nooooooooo completely wrong.I like people who validate and respect me, and if I don’t get that, I don’t “hang around” and try to “earn” their “respect” fuck themI have good friends What I am saying is this shit always happen when there is a woman in there
>>62127654>I told you, never liked my face since I was a little kidLike, how old were you? You need to really UNDERSTAND that you not liking your face is a TAUGHT BEHAVIOUR. Kids don't care about their appearances UNLESS someone teaches them that appearance matters. And you're very specific about your face. Ok, let me ask you this. When have you been taught your face is unlikable? What experience has taught you that? Just say the first thing that comes to mind>>62127662>What I am saying is this shit always happen when there is a woman in thereTell me more about what you mean by >this shitWhat is "this"?
>>62127655Another thing. You said>22 postsabout me, right? How come you didn't say>X postsfor this guy >>62127662 who keeps changing his ID? Do you notice how you try to in a sense make me feel negative about myself in order to prevent me from opening my mouth? Anon, do you see yourself in my words and started feeling negativity and then tried to take it out on me? That sounds really hard man. Oh well, might be wrong. You might just exhibit antisocial traits.
>>62127662Everything is TAUGHT behaviour. If you're taught that your face is ugly then you'll start to believe it. It's just "What was the event that taught you that?" and "When is the first time you remember thinking 'My face is bad looking'?". How old were you when you started having this belief?
>>62127672My bad dude. I am not changing my id on purpose, didn’t even notice itI am the one you been talking to>>62127665>it’s a taught behavior No it’s not. I literally remember me being like 4 or 5, or even before when I discovered what mirror is. and even back then I hated seeing my face. I never told anything about my face late in my life, unless it was in a fight or something (vindictive shit)>this shitA woman in a group don’t dance with me like she does with everyone else in the same group of friend even though we all “friends” it seems
>>62127684>My bad dude. I am not changing my id on purpose, didn’t even notice it>I am the one you been talking toI know... I didn't say anything haha. I'm just trying to point out to this guy >>62127655 that his outburst is probably connected to the fact he sees himself in my words and got upset. Because he only said>22 posts for metrying to expose me. While he said nothing for you, right? Do you see what I mean? He basically tried to guilt trip me... It's just, stuff like that doesn't really work on me.>>62127684>No it’s not. I literally remember me being like 4 or 5, or even before when I discovered what mirror is. and even back then I hated seeing my face. I never told anything about my face late in my life, unless it was in a fight or something (vindictive shit)Wait, let me ask you this. Is your face ugly or do you just simply not like it? Because there's a difference... It's also kind of "hard" for me because I don't see how you look, right? If your face is disfigured then I wouldn't really know.>A woman in a group don’t dance with me like she does with everyone else in the same group of friend even though we all “friends” it seemsI'm certain we're missing something. Or the woman just notices your aura and like moves away. Like ok, have you ever tried asking the woman? Like have you tried like getting her alone for like 3min and saying "Hey, I noticed you don't dance with me like you do with the others. It's not a big deal, I just feel a little bit insecure about it. And I'm not saying it's your fault or anything. I'm just curious what the reason is? Like, this seems to happen to me often and I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. Could you help me understand? I'm trying to grow from this and you giving me some insight would help me.". Maybe that would be an appropriate way of saying it, what do you think?
>>62127684>Wait, let me ask you this. Is your face ugly or do you just simply not like it? Like, I think my face, for instance, is not the prettiest and I don't really like my nose, and I also don't think it's ugly, right? I just don't like my nose and I don't like my chin, it's kind of a bit fat, even though I'm not. I could probably lose like 2 or 5kg but I feel healthy at my current weight so it's no really a big deal. Do you see what I mean? I don't like a part of my face, yet it's not a big deal, I don't think I'm ugly because of it. Could always get a nose job in Istanbul.
>>62127684>>62127710>Like ok, have you ever tried asking the woman? And if you ask don't expect a clear answer. People don't like being direct because it's a lot of times hurtful. Maybe also add "I just want your honest opinion, no sugar coating. I promise I won't get mad or resent you if you say something that might be interpreted as rude. I just really want to figure this out.". Try to give her space for an honest answer. BUT don't expect you'll get one. People are simply afraid, right? And don't try to be like pushy about it. If you ask enough women you'll get parts of the answer sooner or later. It'll leak out from them, right? Just start asking them. Say you're a bit insecure and that you're trying to work on it and grow. They'll probably even appreciate you for it. And yes, it'll probably be scary to ask. Just understand that people are compassionate and empathic. They'll notice your nervousness and they'll treat you with respect, at least in most cases. But also don't expect that. Some might react in a negative and hurtful way and that's also "fine.". Maybe this is really the best course of action. Me and you talking is more or less just guess work, right? Getting information from the source is the best thing, right? But yea, pushy and aggressive about getting answers won't work. BUT don't blame yourself if it doesn't pan out in the first few tries. If you haven't done this before you're inexperienced. If you ask 10 women then you'll gain some knowledge as to how to approach them and correctly ask the question in the first place. You just have to really make sure you give them the necessary space to answer honestly and not pressure them into it. Maybe also say "If you don't want to answer it then that's fine. It's not a big deal".
>>62127684Let me put it into 1 sentence. Just go up to her and say "Hey, I'm really curious about something. I feel a bit insecure about something and I really want to grow and work on my insecurity. Would you mind answering a few questions that would help me do that? If you don't want to then you can always say you'd rather not answer, ok?" and then if she says yes to that then say "Ok. So, like we've been dancing on the dance floor and I've noticed, and this could just be me, that you don't dance with me as you do with the other guys. Like, I feel a little insecure about that. I feel a little isolated. Is it something that I'm doing? Like could you maybe help me understand that? And again. I'm not trying to pressure you and it could totally be just my perception and I'm not going to get mad or resentful at your answer. Could you please help me understand? The thing is, this has been happening to me a lot and I just don't seem to get it and I really want to work on my insecurity."Do you see what I mean? I can lay all the psychological, neurological, psychiatric, spiritual mambo jambo and talk to you about it OR you can simply ask the question and you'll get the answer 100%. You might not get it immediately. You might hate and disagree with their answers. You might start to reject and deny their answers but I'm pretty sure that if you ask a few of them you'll get your answer or at least part of it. Just remember that you might hate the answer and that's fine. Just accept the hate and take the NEXT STEP. ACCEPT, LET GO, MOVE ON and FORGIVE (Yourself or the other person or both) and GROW from it. REFLECT and ACT. ADAPT. BE FLEXIBLEWhat do you think about asking questions? Does that work for you? Would that be an option?
>>62127684Also remember that asking her a question like that will probably make some women super uncomfortable, why? You're sharing your emotions and when you do that the other person, on the other end, needs to do what? Emotional compression (that's the actual term). So, for instance. If I say "I love you" then the person on the other end has to be able to compress that stuff inside them, right? If they have a negative reaction then it's probably because the emotions you caused in them were too much, right? It has nothing to do with you, right? It has to do with them not having the necessary CAPACITY to have that talk with you. Even if they say yes to>"Hey, I'm really curious about something. I feel a bit insecure about something and I really want to grow and work on my insecurity. Would you mind answering a few questions that would help me do that? If you don't want to then you can always say you'd rather not answer, ok?"they might still freak out afterwards. And what does this whole first part of the question do? It prepares them psychologically. If you look at all the psychological defense mechanisms (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_mechanism) you'll notice that one of them is ANTICIPATION (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anticipation). The whole 1st part of the question is just there in order for them to give you permission to do something psychologically HEAVY to them, right? Stuff like this is a HEAVY thing for most people to talk to, right? It's like, you're raising their awareness that something emotionally HEAVY is coming, right? And that's the thing, once you say the question, the 2nd part, they might start to freak out, because they won't have the CAPACITY to emotionally compress your insecurity, right? People aren't used to having these kinds of conversations YET therefore we need to be extremely delicate when trying to talk with them about these kind of stuff.TBC
>>62127684>>62127772If you're going to be scared about talking about it just know that the woman will also be scared. She'll be scared to say the wrong thing, right? And what's more. Women, because of estrogen and the interaction of estrogen on the brain, feel their emotions more VIVIDLY and strongly. So if you're scared 10 units she'll probably be scared 15 units. Estrogen affects the limbic system, the limbic system is our emotional circuit. It effects it in such a way that they feel their emotions MORE INTENSELY. What's more is that if you're going to be afraid, and there's nothing wrong with that, it's natural and healthy to feel fear... So, if you're going to be afraid it's going to likely leak onto her and she'll also get afraid. We, humans, are EMPATHICALLY connected and therefore if you're afraid I'm afraid. Fear breeds fear. Hatred breed hatred. Kindness and compassion breeds kindness and compassion. It's just like during the corona lockdowns, everyone was visibly afraid and guilt tripping each other "You're endangering yourself and others", that's literally guilt tripping and manipulative. You can't tell someone what he's doing to himself. You also can't speak for everyone, you can't say "You're endangering others" that presumes that everyone feels threatened because of you, you can't speak on another persons behalf, that's manipulative. If someone speaks instead of you then that's manipulation in most cases.So yea, maybe just ask. And I know it's probably a scary question to ask. Probably because the answer might not be to your liking. What if all the girls suddenly say "You're face is ugly", right? They probably won't to be honest. She'd look like a total bitch if she said that, right? And to be honest, it's probably not your face I'd say. And again, I'm not sure, because I can't see you but I'll take a wild guess and say you're not horribly disfigured?
>>62127684You got this. I believe that sooner or later you'll figure it out. Just you talking about it is an indicator of you starting to accept it and trying to work on it, right? A lot of people are simply in denial of their challenges and those people never overcome them. You're tackling this head on and that's great. Showing your weakness is a sign of strength. Hiding your weakness is a sign of weakness. Why? Because showing your weakness takes TREMENDOUS courage. Strong individuals own their mistakes and insecurities, which allows them to learn and grow, rather than hiding behind excuses. People who feel the need to constantly show off their strength are often masking deep insecurities or unfulfilled potential. The truly strong do not need validation, letting their results speak for themselves, and they are comfortable with not being perfect."The weak shows his strength and hides his weaknesses; the magnificent exhibits his weaknesses like ornaments" - Nassim Nicholas TalebThere is a great sense of beauty in showing and sharing your weakness to the world. Even if your face is by any chance disfigured beyond repair that beauty of tackling your challenges will forever live in you and trust me, women will notice your strength and be attracted to it. Mark my words. People notice inner beauty and strength.
>>62127740>>62127754>>62127772>>62127789Nah. I never gonna ask one. Women talk ALOT!I don’t want that type of publicity going around me.>>62127718I don’t know man. My chin is not the best but it looks good on its own. My eyes looks good on it’s own. Even my nose. It’s just the combo that make it ugly for my eye, I don’t know what it is. Never liked it. And no, not learned behavior, no one called me ugly, or disgusting or anything like that.One of the reason I don’t even have social media or like anonymity is I don’t want to post my picture, nor wanna look at it.
>>62127807>Nah. I never gonna ask one. Women talk ALOT!>I don’t want that type of publicity going around me.Well that's the thing. The mind will always reject that which would make it change. You can talk yourself out of it. I mean, what would it mean for you if people found out you're insecure? How would that affect you?Bro, I have to go and make myself lunch. I should've eaten hours ago and I talked to you instead. I'll be back in like 2h or something. I have something else to do. Just, think about asking the women. Even if they talk then that's no big deal. You saying >Women talk ALOT!implies they'd talk in a negative way about it. Have you considered they'd talk in a concerning and caring way about it? Do you notice what I mean? Your perception is skewed towards negativity. I FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE can say that I always share my insecurities and people receive them well. They receive them in a loving way, in a caring way and I'm better off because of it. Again, people will take care of you, just let them take care of you. Sow them your weakness, expose yourself and yes, you'll feel naked as the day you were born. And at the end it'll work of for the best. There is no growth without exposure...>I don’t know man. My chin is not the best but it looks good on its own. My eyes looks good on it’s own. Even my nose. It’s just the combo that make it ugly for my eye, I don’t know what it is. Never liked it.>I don’t know what it is. Never liked it.Again. Insecurity screws with peoples perception. Your face is probably completely normal and people think you're looking ok. It's probably just the insecurity messing with your perception of yourself. The perception is an illusion. Once you work on your insecurity the face thing will resolve on itself.>I don’t want that type of publicity going around me.Then just go to therapy... Everything will stay there between you and the therapist, right? You don't need to suffer for the rest of your life
>>62123557>>62127840If I hold 10k LINK will women unironically have sex with me, business and financially speaking?
>>62127807>I don’t want that type of publicity going around me.Again, going to therapy would solve this. Just remember that not everyone is suited for everyone BUT don't change therapists like you'd change your underwear. Maybe try one or two sessions with like 5 different ones then make a choice and then stick with them for at least 2 years. After 2 years you'll have a whole different perspective. And remember, the therapist is a GUIDE. He can't do shit if you don't put in the effort yourself. You need to put in the effort. You have to do EVERYTHING ALONE, he's just there for the support and guidance. He can't change your mind instead of you>If I hold 10k LINK will women unironically have sex with me, business and financially speaking?Short answer: No. Long answer: Nope
>>62127807>I don’t know man. My chin is not the best but it looks good on its own. My eyes looks good on it’s own. Even my nose. It’s just the combo that make it ugly for my eye, I don’t know what it is. Never liked it. This whole sentence tells me you're not actually ugly. You just don't like your face. And that's fine. And it's not even that. You just don't like the combination, not even your whole face. The thing is, beauty is subjective and therefore some woman will absolutely LOVE YOUR FACE!Ok, now I'm off for 2h. My body is telling me to feed it.
>>62127848>Short answer: No. Long answer: NopeWhat coins should I hold then to ironically have women have sex with me business and financially speaking thoughbeit?
>>62127807>Nah. I never gonna ask one. Women talk ALOT!>I don’t want that type of publicity going around me.And it's like, you're suffering because of this insecurity. If you just talk to people then your suffering would be less, not more. Sure, you'd feel FEER. But fear is an emotions that'll go sooner or later. Suffering is a state of mind and that'll be there forever if you don't talk. At least consider therapy if not just talking to the girls. Maybe even talk with the therapist about my suggestion and tell him what I told you. He'll probably have more insight depending on where you live. People react different depending on country and region. He or she'll have more insight that's more targeted for where you're from.>>62127864>What coins should I hold then to ironically have women have sex with me business and financially speaking thoughbeit?Bro.... News flash. You don't need coins to have sex or gold or money or a car or anything. You just need a functioning penis and a woman that's ready to take said penis into her ball pit.
>>62127875>>62127807>Sure, you'd feel FEERFEAR, not FEER
>>62125790you're a liar and a great guy you'll get laid some day
>>62127807Earlier I mentioned how it might be a repetition compulsion from your childhood. How maybe your parents were neglectful and you go towards women who you unconsciously know are going to be emotionally unavailable to you. You immediately said>And no, once a group piss me of , I am done with them. Like i don’t go out with them no more The thing is though. It would literally not piss you off. It would feel familiar and like you're "at home" with her. That's the thing. The thing is. I see it a lot of times where people pick the ones that they unconsciously know will be emotionally unavailable and then they'll try to chase that. Even if it's on the dance floor. You'll literally go next to the people that feel "familiar" without even knowing it. Then you'll be like "Why don't these girls dick grind???". I know it sounds weird. Like, maybe literally when you hit the dance floor... Maybe go where you otherwise wouldn't. Like, pick a spot you like, then shift like 5m to the left and 5m to the front or back. Just do the reverse of what you usually do. Just to like try it. I know it sounds bizarre but hey. It's worth a try.TBC
>>62127807Another thing is what. Imagine you get a girl to therapy that's getting abused, right? By her partner. Now image she says stuff "He beat me again. It wasn't his fault though. He beat me because I salted the food too much!". You can't tell this girl "Yea, he's abusive, you should leave him.". If you do they'll deny it, start attacking you, defending her partner while saying "It was my fault. I salted it too much". So, I'm not saying you're getting or not getting abuse. What I'm saying is that if you were you'd deny it if I told you to your face. How do you help a girl like that? Well, she's in a lot of internal conflict and if you just empathically and compassionately listen to her for some time sooner or later the conflict will start bubbling out of her and once it does you just start saying stuff like "Wow, does that seem fair to you?". You don't mention the abuse, you don't say anything if it's right or wrong or fair or unfair. You simply listen with compassion and once you build a certain amount of rapport you start going in with the questions "Do you think that's fair to you?" and "How does that make you feel?". She'll sooner or later realize that it's abusive by herself. If you push her and say stuff like "Yea, that's classic abuse. Seen it a 100 times. You should leave him"... That shit will NEVER work, it'll backfire HARD. The problem in abusive relationships is what? The guy is abusive only 50% of the time. The other 50% he's awesome and perfect and that woman then tries to get him to be more perfect than abusive. She doesn't want to LET GO of the idea of him being a 100% awesome. She tries to change him. The other thing is that abuse doesn't just start at full force. It starts small then builds up over time and gets normalized like that. The abuser will test his target and see what they can get away with. And most of the time they won't actually consciously see what they're doing.
>>62123557The prince is taller than the guy by about 4 inches. Dude is probably bald under that hard hat.
>>62125790there is a small percentage of women who truly do not care about looks and will date a guy for other reasons - i have seen it with my own eyes. good luck anon, no man is purely worthless only because of his looks, you might have plenty about you that's of value.
>>62123557These studies are usually bullshit because more often than not they just put two photos in front of a participant, one average and one attractive, and then go "which partner is more desirable?" Of course they're going to pick the more attractive one in a vacuum where they only have a couple of seconds to decide. Then they do the same thing but have an ugly person with high network labelled under them and an attractive person with low net worth and the same shit happens because again the whole thing is done in a vacuum with basically no details other than what is provided to obviously skew the results towards the intended goal of the "researcher." Almost all psychology studies are bullshit and can't be replicated. Besides, everyone knows height and cock size are the only thing that matters.
>44 posts by this id
>>62123644>broke niggersThere, I disproved your shit.Big cocks > money > looks
>>62129079Did you conveniently ignore the studies on couples?
>>62129079>>62129739Or the study on sex partner countStop coping dude
>>62127962Yeah I'm a fucking liar, lol. I don't even want to get laid anymore. I'm happy gooning to futa hypno shit. I'm at peace>>62128805Thanks, anon.
