Let's say an alien from another galaxy shows up at your place and asks you to make him something to eat. What would you cook for him ?
>>21637077>an alienHe’ll be eating prison food because I’d call ICE
>>21637077Whatever element he needs in order to breathe. He probably won't even be able to breathe earth air.captcha: AHAG0
>>21637077Bacon</thread>
boiled egg with soldiers.
>>21637077McChicken
>>21637077Can I go get stuff or do I gotta use what's there? I'd probably give him a ham, cheese & tomato toastie.
>>21637077Eggs, naturally.
>>21637085it's an alien, not a redditor from 2007
>>21637077sandwich
>>21637077pasta
>>21637077>>21637085>>21637090>>21637119>giving the alien a taste for fleshngmi
>>21637077meth
>>21637209Doing that in front of the girl probably gave her the driest pussy in the history of women.
>>21637077for ayy its crablegs.
Corporate Dominos >Sends nastygram email to local regional manager about wasting food and unauthorized social media use. Wagie watching>Im not cleaning that fucking shit up.
>>21637220
pizza
>>21637244That shit's burned.
>>21637250I like it crispy
>>21637252then just eat a charcoal briquette
Spaghet
>>21637269leave me alone
>>21637277nah I'm not gonna be like your parents
>>21637278you would love my pizza
I would make him a burger, you can easily show him all the parts going into it to teach him about earth and teach him about American culture by showing him grilling, I've thought about this a lot.
>>21637077Probably some fried chicken, home made gravy with some fiesta chicken seasoning, home made rolls (I usually have some premade in the freezer) mashed potatoes and roasted Brussel sprouts. You can’t go wrong with fried chicken and gravy. Probably use thighs too and flatten them out a bit with a meat mallet.
>>21637452>rollsI meant biscuits not rolls
>>21637210She works at dominos. You can get her wet by mentioning her favorite TV show. The smaller the mind, the easier it is to impress
Boiled grain, since it's one of the only foods we still make that goes back 1,000's of years, it's low on the likelihood of killing him, and it's not exciting, so they're not gonna wanna come and steal our shit
>>21637077>What would you cook for him ?I make him a Lush Lagoon with two shots of vodka and after he passes out I tie him to a chair and ask him where are the women. I won't send him back home until I tap some alien pussy
>>21637278You would gobble it anyway, fat fuck
I try to convince them that the slower and dumber fat humanoids are bred for food and that's ok kill and eat them
Not meat. The risk of embarrassing ourselves with a higher civilization is too much. Some high quality, fresh fruits and vegetables. That's best. If a demonstration of actual cooking is required, then bread.
>>21637077Beer and Reese's Pieces because wtf do I know, there's precedent for both.
i coom in a cup and watch him guzzle it down
>>21637081Looks better than some high school lunches I have seen.
>>21637077I'll try to recreate that god bless faggots dishes and gamble on them killing us all
>>21637239This kills the crab.
>>21637794FAKE NEWS!
Realistically his gut biome would differ greatly from any human's so anything you serve him would make him violently ill causing him to exterminate humanity.
>>21637077a bowl of dog food
>>21637077Aliens probably can't metabolize our food, so you'd probably kill the retarded thing if you fed it anything.
>>21637696https://youtu.be/fbT1fCHOjfI?t=320
>>21637077laundry detergent topped with freshly grated bar soap
>>21637077risotto
>>21637081>>21637741Greedy corporations are holding americans by the balls on all and every level
piss and shit
A glass of water.
>>21637077I'd serve them tuna straight from a can
>>21637077Probably take him out for a night on the town in a good montage. Probably take him to a pizza place whichever one wants to give the production money, when someone looks at him weird say something like "What you nevah seen-a Reptoncronian befoah?"Then get on the Subway after the alien gets fascinated by the Turnstiles. Then to Times Square where we'll end up meeting some guy dressed in whatever the most popular mascot is of the studio the movie is being made by in a cute meta reference. Then it's off to one of those celebrity chef restaurants where the famous chef willing make a cameo (Gordon Ramsay, Guy Fieri, Emril that type) where we meet the famous chef and he get cheeseburgers and maybe jalapeno poppers and he is impressed by the sporting event on TV (whichever league wants to give the production money), then maybe a taxi cab scene where he sticks his head out the window, nods at a baby staring at him. Then back home where I teach him the word friend.Seems like it would be a fun Act 1 of a Kids Alien movie set in NYC, change the subway to an SUV and the pizza to a cheeseburger and do it in LA.
>>21637081I'd give prisoners a quarter of that and no corn bread once a day. They don't deserve anything more.
>>21637461Did you see the new squid game or binge game of thrones?
>>21637077The ultimate single man goyslop combo:>grilled bavarian sausages>grilled camembert>fries>mayonnaiseBetter eat it all you big-headed lanklet fuck.
>>21637077How long do I have? I can bake him a pizza in 3-4 hours
eggs benny with a thick cut piece of back baconthen let him know that 3 different animals went into the production of this meal
>alien has three heads>they're constantly bickering and disagree about the meal>finally desert time>ask for napoleon ice cream>everybody laughs
>>21637077truck stop burritos. puts a smile on every traveler's face.
>>21637077>What would you cook for him?A micky.
my children
>>21639370I'm so tired of /int/ trannies posting offtopic on /ck/ the same compulsive marx shitposts day in day out
>>21637476inb4 the ayyyy is gluten intolerant
>>21637077Sour cream sandwiches woth extra sour cream because i have a bunch of sour cream i need to get rid of and hes a stupid alien so i can tell him its a tradition for guests
>>21637146What's the difference?
