what the fuck happened here?
>>21650615looks good to me
Lack of air
>>21650621jej
Anime protagonist bread
>>21650615Your yeast didn't do anything
>>21650615You didn't add and raisins or figs to your pudding. Also looks like you baked it
>>21650615Overworked dough.
>>21650615the bread juice is leaking in some spots. that's no bueno, you want all your bread juice to stay in the bread so I recommend letting it rest before slicing it.
too much salt
>>21650615forgot the bubbles?
>>21650636this nigga eatin air
>>21650615>these marksDid you cut it with a circular saw?
>>21650615dead yeast
I got two ideas.1. your yeast isn't doing anything. Either it's too cold in your house to rise dough, or you killed the yeast by starting it in water that's too hot. 2. The loaf may have collapsed. Quit opening the oven door to check on it. You let all the hot air out.
Yeah I've seen this picture get posted on /ck/ from time to time and it's time to drop a lore bomb. It was me. It was back in either 2022 or 2023, I can't remember exactly when but it was in that period because I was living in a wonderful little house in some shithole town in New Zealand. I was just starting out baking breads and I'd had a few successful attempts before this. What caused this disaster though was some recipe I saw which said to add warm but not boiling water to the yeast and let it sit for ten minutes to activate it, and then pour and stir into the dry mixture. This was supposedly so you could have a short rest time for the dough. I used water from the kettle but I switched it off before it got hot enough to boil. So yeah in hindsight I killed the yeast, and I added way too much water because the dough was very wet. At the time though because I was such a retard at baking I didn't know what went wrong, except that it was a spectacular fuckup. It got really crispy on the outside because the fucking thing wasn't rising (and I kept opening the door to check), so I kept adjusting the temperature of the oven thinking that would fix it (lower temp, longer time, ohhh maybe its too low I should increase the temp, repeat, repeat, repeat). I was also drinking a lot at that time in my life so I was a few beers in and whenever I started to think, at pretty much every stage of baking this loaf, that its irredeemably fucked, I just said "yeah nah it'll be fine". I thought it would be funny to share the awful loaf with /ck/ and my original post was something like "this is it lads, the worst bread I've ever baked". Of course I didn't want people to know I had only baked like two or three loaves before and was still learning so I played it cool because I didn't want to get bullied.
>>21650615Democrat yeast.
>>21650615dead/missing yeasthappened to me a few times, the best way to avoid this is to premix your yeast with some of the flour and water, if it doesn't rise just throw it away and get new yeast
>>21650690Well, it's nice to get some closure.
>>21650615it appears the bread has been sliced into two pieces
>>21650682>Either it's too cold in your house to rise dough,It will still rise a little in the oven even if you didn't proof the dough at all. That yeast is completely dead.
>>21650615charlie kirk yeast
>>21650615It would appear that your bread didn't rise. >>21650621lel
Could this be saved if you sliced it and fried or toasted the slices?
>>21650621kekerino
>>21650621Based
>>21650766it's basically seitan so yes
>>21650615either overworked dough, or wrong temps at some point (cold ingredients, oven not preheated, or on too low)
>>21650615That's a standard sourdough, dense, reeks of death, chewy and underdone. Sort of a nasty aftertaste.No, give me real yeast bread. I won't eat that other garbage.
>>21650640about all dollafiddy buys these days
>>21650631game recognize game
>>21650615did you just mix flour and water together and bake it?
>>21650615Bahahahaha what the actual fuck? OP taste it and tell us how it is, that shit looks rancid
>>21650615High fentanyl content
>>21650615Where's the proofs, OP?
>>21650615pathetic crumb
classic /ck/ bread thread, anyone have the screens?
Did you bake pure gluten? Some of the gluten based imitation meats look exactly like that.
>>21650615Too much play dough
>>21650615stolen valor, cunt op. but that guy killed his yeast with overly hot water or maybe excessive salt or maybe it was dead to begin with from age etc
>>21650615>what the fuck happened here?You killed your yeast. Which is actually an impressive achievement. One of:- you used yeast that was bought 20 years ago.- you added 10x to much salt, which killed off your yeast- you didn't let the dough rise. Normally you do this twice, once after kneading and then after shaping- maybe you completely forgot to add yeast- you spazzed out and zapped your dough in microwave- you tried one of those dumbass "just let the dough sit on your counter, that's totally how you make sour dough starter!" recipes. That's not how you make sour dough starter, that's how you sample the yeast you already have in your kitchen. What's more, sour dough is not a beginner technique. - space aliens?
>>21650615That's what you get for using /ck/ brand yeast.
>>21650615Looks like they used vital wheat gluten instead of flour.
>>21650682Yeast isn't a living thing
>>21652606
>>21652606ummm, incorrect.
>>21652606>/ck/Maybe we deserve to have all the bread threads deleted
>new 100% gluten flour! now with extra gluten
>>21650615Too juicy.
>>21650615Looks like premature queefing
>>21650615what the fuck, man
>>21650621
>>21650621Top zozzle
>>21650690If this is actually you, shitty bread anon, then i applaud you confessing your cooking failures. I remember that thread, was hilarious.>>21650714Brilliant work, detective
>>21650621>I can't leaven
>>21650615passover
dead yeast so it didn't rise
>>21650621looking at this pic with ai-trained eyes in 2025, it's very obviously AI generatedwell done
>>21653194genuinely the funniest exchange i've seen on here in years
>>21650615>>21650690i'm assuming this was one loaf of bread, why is the left piece so much wider than the rest of the loaf? compressed while cutting?
>>21654419Seek and ye shall find. Actually I wouldn’t bother, it’s all normie bullshit.
>>21650621The yeast couldn't breath
>>21654427>Another uninspired shit thread by some retard copy pasting normalfag shit from bigger social media sitesFor real dough, that's how most of my bread looked before I learned to knead it properly
>>21654419Trick of perspective, the left piece is tilted up on its side and closer to the camera.
>>21650621PLEASE MR BAKER I CAN'T RISE
>>21654427Embarrassing.
>>21650615>Tried to make bread>Accidentally made seitanNo problem
