Anyone else impressed by the food at Medieval Times?
>>21657608No
I always wanted to go but nobody ever wanted to go with me.
>>21657624My ex made me go, I almost got kicked out for screaming at the other knights and banging on the glass.
>>21657608Went as a kid like 30 years ago and while I can’t recall anything about the show I remember really enjoying the meal
>>21657624Same
>>21657608I don't remember the food but I remember me and my friends beating the piss out of each other with the wooden swords from the gift shop.
>>21657626>white trash moment
>>21657624I'll go with you
>>21657684I didn’t want to go, her kids were being annoying so I started drinking before we even got there
>>21657608i miss waitresses that didn't have an acre of tattoos
>>21657738>my wife's son
>>21657608I can see that waitresses' bra strapIt's invoking passion in me. She has no recourse but accept my passion, for she tempted me with her sultry upkeepGod i love larping as a drunkard laying the tavern wench so much
>>21657608I was When I was 6yo in the '80s
>>21657608Yakov Smirnoff's Dinner Theatre in Branson, MO has better food imo. Medieval Times doesn't even real magnetic plates and cutlery.
>>21657626You are supposed to enjoy from you're seats you friggin n word
>>21657672Momma couldn't afford the sword but I could get the axe somehow, I just held it upside down and pretended I had a weird sword since there was a perfect amount for my hand.
>>21657608Yes. I'd like to dine on boiled potatoes and large legs of meat roasted over an open fire.
>See medieval times ad online for the first time ever>there's also a thread on /ck/Something feels off here
I’m going on Saturday, if I didn’t assume all of the wait staff were going to be half my age I would brush up on my cable guy references.
>>21657608>eat served served in an enclosed space with aerosolized horse shitabsolutely disgusting
>>21659747She was just trying to stop you from looking like a faggot, but you sure showed her
I think the food is delishes, and actually the show is top-tier. Yes it's not real fighting of course, but world class horses and horsemanship, and they even got a falconer with a trained falcon which is pretty cool to see.But for me, it's the knights. :]
>>21659735Why in the fuck would I want magnetic plates and cutlery? That sounds retarded
>>21657932post more cringe like this
>>21660125>Yes it's not real fighting of courseLame. I want to eat at The Colliseum while gladiators fight to the death.
>>21657738based
>>21659735>For dinner, you will be served American food with a Russian flair! Enjoy Mouthwatering Smoked Beef Brisket, Grilled Chicken Breast, Creamy Vegetable Soup, Yukon Gold Mashed Potatoes, Vegetable Medley, a Dinner Roll and a complimentary drink. For dessert, you will indulge in Scrumptious Strawberry Shortcake!>Reviews>We were disappointed that so much of this show is just on the screen. I prefer live productions. We did not like the food. It came in a box you hold on your lap. >Your sit in regular theatre seats that are fairly small and pull up a side tray to put the food on. The tray and platter have magnets so the food would slide off but it is very crowded and you are shoulder to shoulder with the people next to you. Unfortunately our food may have been tasty once but was very cool (not even slightly warm) as if it had never been well heated.
>>21659857>medieval times>potatoesWew, lad.
I’m old enough to remember when the waitresses were called “wenches” and dressed like this, with their titties out, and you were expected to talk down to them. My uncle got drunk there once and our knight won and he kept telling our wench to “fuck him in our presence.” lol she broke character and said she was going to have him thrown out, but instead came back and brought him a beer…and for some reason was showing more cleavage. I’d like to think that she complained to her boomer boss who told her to “stfu and get back to work and whore it up.” Now it’s all fagged out and they have a “Queen.” After the shows you could take pictures with the wenches and I have a picture where I’m like 8 with my head sandwiched between two chicks with huge tits like pic related.
>>21660727>I’m old enough to remember when the waitresses were called “wenches”They still do, can’t speak on behalf of the outfits until after this weekend.
>>21659735they stopped serving food 10 years ago
>>21660477you really don't anon. it's unbecoming.
This question is asked here irregularly but consistently, enough so I think it's astroturfing.That being said, I tend to look them up and balk at the price every time.
>>21659735>>21660574It was kino>>21661065very unfortunate
>>21660477Until one of them gets their neck cracked open and their jugular spews blood all over your cornish game hen.
>>21661119you get a whonderful meal and almost 2 hours of live entertainment. they have the best quality horses in the country (look it up it's true) and each show features dozens of them, plus all the staff and the whole show production. you're spending maybe $100 for dinner and watching a few million dollars worth of horses. plus the knights anon, THE KNIGHTS
>>21661134That's a great story to tell later tho. Imagine how many (You)s you would get.
>>21657608Its alright. I prefer real fights though, even if I just get food truck stuff at them.
>>21661165man that shit is so fucking cringe and pathetic. I have to hide your post, nothing personal but my god the 3rd party embarrassment is making me have to shit
>>21661165Wtf exactly is this madness?
>>21661174Buhurt/Armored MMA. This was a tournament I went to in Houston in August. Good fights all around, though by the end a couple fighters suffered minor heat stroke and they were all too exhausted for a final every-man-for-himself fight after the awards went out.
>>21661174incredibly out of shape and inept edgelords basically having a pillow fight. It's so fucking insulting to the training, physical fitness, and battlefield prowess of medieval knights, who dedicated their lives from childhood to being role models of masculinity and capability. I'm absolutely disgusted by this.
>>21661169I still say this would be good to watch live while eating cause some crazy injury could happen at any moment and you can sorta look around excited at different groups. It would be better to watch duels because this is just about getting surrounds and catching people off guard. Duels would be like sumo almost.
>>21661186I guess so. I would be more impressed if they were properly trained from a historical perspective. this couch potato flailing is more redneck than a demolition derby
>>21657738thanks for confirming you're white trash
>>21661186The 1v1s (profights) can be good. This one was 2 simultanious duels, front one women and rear one men. Wish I recorded the titanweights, damn good fights.>>21661193You'd probably like HEMA more thenhttps://youtu.be/n8QlbKfX84k
>>21661231Btw the danish chick was hot as hell when she took the helmet off.
>>21661165>>21661231https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhF1i23vwpsIn Europe, we do things a bit differently.
>>21661286Fuck the coof and ukraine shit for killing BotN
>>21657932Umm... the proper reaction would be "there were no bras in the middle ages, please remove it"
>>21660727>and for some reason was showing more cleavageThey DO work for tips
i hope to go there some day looks fun af,
>>21657608From what I remember it was like meh barbecue. Half a yard bird, some corn or something, a baked tater, bread, and booze.
>>21661303
>>21657626Glorious /hoc/ boy
>>21657608Needs more milk methinks.
>>21661158and the whole time you're being enticed to make a la carte purchases I'll bet.
>>21657738hell yeah brother
>>21661158>plus the knights anon, THE KNIGHTSAre you gay or something?
>>21657608I was too scared of knights and the serving girls and all the medieval stuff to go as kid. My dad always tried to take me to MT and Renaissance Fairs but I would have anxiety attacks and meltdown and refuse to go because the medieval theme terrified me. I was 7-12 when I refuesd to go and I really regret not going because my dad died in a freak accident when I was a young teen and I'm still terrified of knights and serving girls and medieval stuff.
>>21661482the only a la carte offerings are buze. soft drinks and refills are included as are dessert. they have a bitchin' gift shop though. I think post-show snuggles with the knights are free too :O>>21661504:O
>>21661551Nobody cares about your gayness, you're playing to the wrong audience
>>21661573I'm talking about the quality of the entertainment, the food, and the overall value of the experience. you literally started the conversation about gaiety and now you're blaming me.I never said I was nuffin brah.
They have one in like the shittiest part of NJ. I have been there 6 times
last time I went all the knights were Mexicans. Is there any job whites are willing to do anymore?
>>21661653pretty soon they'll have to do all of them :3
>>21657740Yeah man everyone being fat and tattooed and 'queer' has made historical venues so lame.
>>21661692but anon this photo was taken in 1296
>>21661716that looks like a still from love death robots s3 jibaro
>>21661920never heard of it but a quick google dot com confirms this. neat!
>>21661938that episode is so sexy
>>21661181This. Faggots found a way to posture without risking getting their shit rocked in MMA.
>>21661331This is pretty funny. It's like those guys at Starbucks who think "no for real she was DEFINITELY hitting on me bro" rather than just working for tip.She cuts all the times you can see him about to give a flower to someone else.
>>21657608>Medieval TimesHow were they supposed to even tell time if they didn't have watches?
>>21661181You're really falling for the mythology? Most knights were corrupt drunks who devoted their lives to profiteering nepotistic children of lords who were sent off to expand their family's influence. Their adventures included rape, murder and theft typicallyThey were not by any means role models
>>21662739role models of masculinity and capability, not role models of morality. yes they touted the chivalric code but that wasn't much of a reality. like anyone in a position of influence they could be cruel, and the general peasantry distrusted knights as a matter of course.
>>21661650The one in lyndhurst? I drove 2 hours to go, but the area didn’t seem that awful
>>21661528jesus christ anon, take care
>>21662739>Their adventures included rape, murder and theftWhere do I sign up?
>>21663159Okay but like he is distractingly hot. Holy shit.
>>21663319I've reached an age where I have leaned away from prettyboys and a bit more toward rugged masculinity, so although I agree I think I still prefer >>21661331In saying that the squire in the green tunic is pretty distracting and is more of a prettyboy himself. He'll make a fine knight someday.
>>21660727>he kept telling our wench to “fuck him in our presence.">“fuck him in our presence.">in our presencebahahahahahahaha
>>21661119What do you think "astroturfing" is, schizo? Something unnatural and for sinister purposes? Don't come here if you're so suspicious of "glowies" or whatever you conspiracyfags believe in this week.
>>21661181I'm disgusted by you. You have no masculinity or capability. You don't train at anything. Fat incel online all day. Just look at the lame images you post. Fuck off. You're insulting.
>>21663561
>>21657608When I was in middle school my entire graduating class was taken to the Medieval Times outside of Baltimore during an overnight DC field trip. Most of my classmates got food poisoning. The bus had to pull over several times on the way back to the hotel for people to puke. Great trip, 10/10.
>>21663751>Baltimore
Fuck yeah medieval times.>>21663159I want to look like this :3>>21663335B&W looks a bit lanky but that green page (?) can get it.
i went on 06/06/06ill always remember that because for some reason all the fat black boomers in my town are super religious baptists and my teacher refused to get on the bus that day because she said it was the devils day
We don't have them were I live, but there are some middle age themed events.A bunch of my friends are involved with those, but I never managed to go. In the future perhaps.
>>21665469>middle age themed events
I almost went when I went to California, but the performers were striking so I got a refund. Got knighted by the striking princesses. Also, a neat article:https://archive.is/bEUzI
>>21660574>Vegetable MedleyFUCK YES
Medieval Times < Pirate’s Dinner Adventure
>>21665494pirates aren't nearly as hearthrobbing as knights anon
>>21665500Idk my man Andre was pretty captivating
>>21660125going down down down, red knight going down.
>>21657626Real Gorilla behavior
>>21660727kek
>>21657608i liked the chicken as a kid
>>21661169you're just jealous
>>21661165>CLANG CLANG CLANG>CAM ON INGURLAND>SPEAR SUM FACKIN GAULS
>>21663159you are gay therefore not a reliable source on historyhomosexual males in history have been notorious schemers, decievers, and tricksters (chinese imperial court eunuchs, joseph goebbels, zen buddhist monks)
>>21657608I remember them giving me a whole chicken and the best tomato soup I had ever had. I still cant figure out how to make tomato soup as good as that
>>21661165I dunno, at least Medieval Times is intended as entertainment. I went to a few HEMA events last year and after the first it's really just more of the same, not interesting unless you get into it more seriously (like any sport I guess).
>>21657608I miss when girls wore those sexy narrow glasses with the black frames. Shit was so fucking sexy. Now we're in like the 10th year in a row of giant bug-eye Harry Potter glasses and Cat-Eye feminist glasses.
>>21657626Such churlish behavior has no place at Medieval Times. Be lucky the Sherrif didn't clap you in irons.
>>21657608We should have some franchise like that in France, that would print millions, especially in touristic cities like Paris.