>drink coffee>shit myselfhow can people drink this crap?
Have you tried not having a perpetually blown out asshole?
>>21668599Let’s stick with Things that Never Happened for 800, Ken.
>>21668606Look, it’s fine if you have a scat fetish, I won’t judge, but I’m not going to post my shitty drawers as ‘proof’ just so you can crank one out with your cheesy Vienna sausage.
>>21668599>Drink coffee in the morning>Shit at home before I go to work>Don't have to shit in public bathrooms>Coffee gives energy to get through the dayYes, coffee is good for you.
That's my favorite effect though, OP. What do you have against bowel movement?
>>21668614>not shitting on the clock at workamateur
>>21668628>Wanting to share a toilet with NPCsEnjoy diseases and parasites.
Where do you think all the Shartmart pics come from?
>>21668599>drink coffee>don't shit myselfezpz
>>21668628Work has the cheapest toilet paper imaginable. Literal sandpaper that makes my asshole bleed.
>>21668628>mindset of the hourly workerfeels good to be salaried.
>>21668647feels good to have paid overtime
>>21668599coffee has nothing to do with shitting. I used to think so until I stopped drinking coffee, I still had to shit the same time as I did before.
>>21668599Some bodies are simply different than other.Mine can't handle coffee either.Just listen to your body, I never liked coffee instinctively, and when last after years trying it again I saw why.Those of you who can drink it - good for you, coffee is really good for you, but for some it simply was not made.
>>21668647>Doing more work for the same predetermined rateNgmi
>>21668614>Coffee gives energyit don't
>>21668793but what if I put 2 ounces of coffee cream and a tablespoon of pure cane sugar in it?
>>21668795Then those things would give you energy.
>>21668632I shit on the clock. I say "I can't believe I'm getting paid for this shit" out loud, every time. I have a top tier immune system and therefore not subject to NPCborn illness.
>>21668808you're just being pedantic... it's like saying pizza doesn't give energy but the crust, cheese, sauce, pineapple and ham does.
>>21668841Pure coffee gives a negligible amount of calories. Better?
>>21668853I don't drink pure coffee so your theoretical scenario doesn't apply to meeeee!
>>21668599Your body is violently trying to get that poison out of you.
>>21668861Now who's the pedantic one.
>>21668865you're right... I'm sorry.
>>21668599>do drugs>feel badWhat did you honestly expect? It also makes your cum taste bad to the girls. Don't do drugs. Just say no.
>>21668867Me too.
>>21668606If he grew a little moustache he'd almost look just like Alex Trebek at this point.
>>21668599how much alcohol do you drink, OP?
>>21668632>using the same toilet seat the hot 22 year old girl's ass has touched so recently it's still warmOne of life's best pleasures.
>>21668909a 40oz a day. why?
>>21668917lightweight
>>21668714I promise it makes me dump ass more frequently than usual
>>21668632Weren't you zozzmers literally licking toilets when Covid first started?
>>21669034yeah those 2 viral videos you saw definitely indicates it’s something everyone was doing
>>21669044Zoomers DO have a hivemind. It's why every girl is collecting those hideous labubus now.
>>21668632That won't happen unless you eat someone's ass during your bathroom break
>>21668602I fail to see the connection
>>21668614You don't look like that and you are giving yourself nerve damage.
>>21668648>I get paid a little more to waste more of my life toiling as a wagie!>>21668747>It’s good that I have to work at least a specific number of hours to make ends meet!The minds of the poor are truly fascinating. You have never even considered that you can be paid more to work less as a salaryman.
I just shart in my car, over the years it's built up a nice seasoning and crust.
>>21668643>he doesn't bring his own>>21668915>he shits in the women's restroom
>>21669565It's 2025, there is no such thing as a "women's" restroom anymore.
>>21668614this. I have a bidet at home and prefer to have a clean ass. Shitting anywhere else is an inferior experience and generally degrades my day
>>21669565>he shits in the women's restroom>he doesn'tYou're missing out. They got roses and potpourri in there.
>>21668599imagine there is a perfect time for shittingnow implement it with a cup of coffee
>>21668632I work from home now but when I had to work in an office my digestion system regularity literally shifted on its own because I hated sitting on public toilets that much. I went from morning to evening to morning pooper lol.
