You ARE going to deep fry your turkey this year, right anon?
I don't care for turkey however it is prepared.
>>21694675Deep frying fixes all of the problems a turkey normally would have. #1 problem that ovencucks create is a DRY turkey. Not possible when deep frying since the heat of the oil traps the juice of the turkey.
>b-but it's too hard!!!No, it isn't. Personally I use a Davit Crane and lower the bird via the manual winch into the oil. This is done ceremoniously while playing the national anthem.Because you put distance between you and the oil, and the crane lowers at an even rate, I'd say you could even let a child winch it down once you confirm all the turkey-lowering parameters.
>>21694678>#1 problemdon't tell me what my problem is. The problem is the turkey inside my mouth.
>>21694690Compare fried chicken to oven-baked chicken.Same thing. It's the technique you don't like.
>>21694678Just spatchcock the turkey
fuck no, because im good at roasting birds and mine turn out rad. I also care more about my health than you doget good retard
>>21694671No, I fist that bad boy with green apples, onion, seasoning and lemons. Then bake it like our founding fathers intended before raping the indians and spreading smallpox
>>21694694I don't like slimey chicken.
I'm going to spatchdick my bird this year.
there's literally no such thing as a juicy turkey. meat juice comes from rendered fat, which turkeys have very little of. the "juice" you get from turkey is literally water, and watery turkey is gross and cope. make the turkey however you want and make a delicious gravy to go with it, problem solved
>>21694717>meat juice comes from rendered fatwrong
>>21694721cope enjoy your water logged meat and bland sides tastelet
>>21694725>she doesn't like waterKek fatty
>>21694717If you stuff it with juicy things it wont get dry. Also butter that bitch on the outside, the butter kind of locks in the juices like a tasty lotion
>>21694671>Goybean oil turkeyLmao, lol even. For me it's smoked turkey. Keep on being a fry cuck
>>21694671Oh man, we used to flash-fry these when tailgating Hawkeye games. Lemme tell you, it went really fucking well with beer.
>>21694729explain to me how you think this works. do you think the juice from the apple or whatever evaporates inside the bird, then somehow makes it way into the meat? where it subsequently condenses into juice? do you know how anything works, or do you just repeat bullshit you read on reddit?
We'll be eating just like my ancestors did. They arrived 12 years after Mayflower and could "only" afford lobster. So I'm going to consoom two Maine lobstas on the day. There also will be oyster stuffing and pumpkin pie with scratch whipped cream.
>>21694727
I’m gonna let Popeyes do it for me
>>21694741>interesting roof to stare at when you are too shitfaced to speakmy kinda bar
>>21694741Is that Dylan Klebald?
>>21694743Steam
>>21694757Yeah their pizza is... all right for the area, I guess, funny because it's what they're known for. Bit of an institution I guess.
>>21694753Their 3-piece tender combo is $17 where I live. I shudder to think of how much the turkey is going to cost
>>21694783There are prices in the ad. Nov 2025 prices? IdkShipped $99Pick-up starting at $54.99
>>21694743Um.. when you add things that have high water content, and cooked at high temperatures it steams and absorbs into the cavity of the turkey. Essentially absorbing into the surrounding meat. People have stuffed dead carcasses of animals they were gonna cook and eat for thousands of years. Wtf are you doing
>>21694753Can i get it hot, please?im not paying $100 for a frozen turkey.
>>21694913steam is a gas, unless it was sealed airtight in the turkey, it simply escapes. and even if it somehow defied physics and "absorbed into the surrounding meat" as you retardedly think, what have you accomplished? nasty ass water logged turkey meat.
>>21694684I understand that the Founding Fathers purchased an orphan each year specifically for this purpose. Of course, back then the device was known as a fowl gibbet, but it had a very similar design, albeit mostly fashioned from fallen tree remnants
>>21694717>she doesn't inject her turkey with beef tallow
Nope. Roasted as usual but my neighbour says she's buying a boneless turkey titty and she intends to cook it in gravy for Thanksgiving pulled turkey sandwiches, which doesn't sound too bad, actually. I know she only mentioned it to try to get an invite round ours because she'll be alone again this year but we can't deal with how dumb she is. Sweet as pie but just about as smart as one, too.
>>21694671Watching compilations of drunk people starting fires is my new favorite holiday tradition. Most of them seem to realize the risk element and not attempt it on their back deck, but not all of them.
>>21694671No... it's just me and the missus, why would we go through all that trouble? Probably just get a neck, some gizzards, a coupla breasts and a coupla legs, roast it over top of some... is dressing the right term if it's not stuffed up the bird's ass? Anyway, some seasoned bread with hazelnuts and walnuts, make some stock out of the bits and bobs for the non-stuffing and the gravy, some mashed potatoes, a mess of carrot, parsnip and sprout in beside the dressing... Robert's your father's brother.
>>21696844>Robert's your father's brother.Gigglegigglesqueak.
>>21694699If I'm doing a whole bird, I flat out butcher it first. Dark meat in half an hour before the tits. The second the breasts hit 160, we're done. Let it rise to 165. If I'm feeling saucy, I'll reassemble it.It's possible to prepare different parts different ways like this too - deep fry something, smoke something else, roast a breast for the purists.
>>21694671I'm just going to eat ham like I do at every Thanksgiving dinner.
>>21696883good goy
nah
>>21696950Huh? How your response make any sense in that /pol/-rotted mind of yours?
>>21694671Be sure to leave it nice and wet - utube needs some fresh vids of carports burning down.
>>21696992Well you're certainly not eating kashrut mate. I, for one, applaud your haram ham and your filthy western ways.
>>21696967>Thanksgiving at the Manhattan Project
>>21697000>demoncore stuffing... cook it from the inside.
>>21694671oven roasting is more ideal for turkey stuffing & cranberry sauce sandwiches thoughbeit because you dont mind the meat being a little bit drier
>>21694717I cover my turkey with a lattice of baconm
I'll never see anybody from my family of origin again
>>21694694Fried chicken breast is far dryer than any chicken I've ever baked. It's not even close. What the fuck are you on?
>>21694671those are better for wings
>>21697804I cover mine with lettuce and bacon, and sandwich it between slices of toasted bread with mayonnaise. Sometimes, if I'm feeling a little cheeky, I'll put a third slice in.
>>21694678Cook it on the grill you bitch
>>21698099This niqqa's bird gon be burned on the outside and raw in the middle.
>>21694675basedturkey sucks and they had to invent a holiday where people are supposed to eat it just to get rid of surplus inventory.ham mogs turkey all day
>>21698300>OH NO! WE HAVE ALL THESE BIRD CARCASSES AND NO REFRIGERATION! WHAT WILL WE DO!>THE SAME THING EVERYONE ELSE DOES! CALL HALLMARK!This is how you truly believe the world works, isn't it? Everyone is actually a clone with the same interests and tastes and the only money to be made is by tricking as many clones as possible to be in on the lies.
>>21694671>You ARE going to deep fry your turkey this year, right anon?nope. I'm smoking rib roasts.
>>21698300turkey can be made delicious just most people dont know wtf theyre doing if your turkey is dry the cook fucked up
>>21698307Don’t you remember when you were a teenager who knew everything?
Use the turkey air fryer. Its on sale. https://youtu.be/m_Z1AxjxKX8?si=9ajputmQOUuteEw_
>>21698281are you unfamiliar with the concept of indirect heat?
>>21698519Do you have a tiny turkey or a giant barbecue?Pop it in the oven, the fryer, or the smoker. The grill is for real meat.
>>21694671smoking
