What does your first plate look like at this place?
Hopefully clean
>>21755054After you fill it up, silly anon.
>>21755050A plate full of mystery jelly first, which I am not going to finish
>>21755050
>>21755050Sushi, Fries, Egg Rolls, Brocolli.
Never been to a buffet? What do they offer?
start lightsushi, lo mein, bacon wrapped imitation crab, and the shrimp in the white sauce
>>21755050fried rice + various fried meats, soy sauced up, 4 crab rangoon, maybe an eggroll no big deal. 2 meat on a sticks
Pick out all the beef from beef and broccoli, pick off all tuna or salmon off the sushi and stuff rive in between booth and wall, pick put all the shrimp from seafood casserole, a few stuffed crabs, some chicken on a stick of various types and more meats and cheeses.
>>21755050chinese buffets are crap.
>>21755050The one I go to has a mongolian bbq included with the buffet. I always hit that up first, and am sure to tip the mexican working it nicely so I get extra sauce.
>>21755248This poor anon spent his childhood in chinese buffets as his mother turned tricks in the alley.Very tragic.
>>21755050Big bowl of Hot and Sour soup mixed up with some white rice and a few Wontons ..... The Buffet here also has Louisiana gumbo , fried chicken, and biscuits & gravy
>>21755050Something like this, I expect.
>>21755050giant pile of general tso chicken on top of a bed of fried rice
Plate 1 Seafood bake crab casserole, whatever it's calledCrab rangoonGeneral tso's Plate 2Lo meinFried riceChicken on a stickOnion pepper chicken>>21755054kek
>>21755310This pic somehow perfectly captures what everyone pictures a plate from the chinese buffet as in their head.
>>21755050like this except no rice and no sauce on the egg roll
rice, chikun teriyaki and duck, maybe some gyozas or some rolls, but das le it
>>21755089>sushi>friesdo america chinese buffets really?
>>21755408mine has an entire stereotypical american food section as well as sushi and hibachi.
>>21755050>Course 1Cruise by the sushi kiosk to see how shitty it looks, and if there aren't too many flies or toxic fumes, start with a few rolls and nigiri.>Course 2Eggdrop soup, kung pao chicken, A LITTLE white rice (don't fill up yet), maybe some broccoli>Course 3If there's a hibachi counter, hit that a couple times. Otherwise, a couple servings of whatever the least-processed meat/protein option appears to be, probably meat skewers or shrimp.Avoid garbage like fried rice or lo mein at all costs. Also avoid any of the shitty "western" offerings unless you're a geriatric boomer or Lawry's Enthusiast.If the wait staff don't bring chopsticks, be sure to ask for some so they know you're a weeaboo. Play your cards right and you might even get an Asian GF, even if she's from one of the garbage-tier countries like Korea. Increase your chances by getting one of those horrible tea bags that smell like weed and performing the traditional Strip Mall Tea Ceremony.
>>21755089>>21755408>>21755412One of my local places even has regular hotdogs.
>>21755050Hissing and spicy. Only the collar remains.
>>21755555>quint 5'sFUKKEN CHECKEDBut no, seriously, eyelids and anuses scraped from the slaughterhouse floor and preserved in toxic nitrites sounds just like authentic Chinese cuisine, so hotdogs are actually a natural fit, as long as they're cooked in gutter oil.
>>21755218
>>21755050Like Noah's arc; two of every kind.
>>21757158>Noah's arc
I take the for-the-kids pizza back to my table. The entire thing.
>>21757245Fat swine. Did you also take the entire apple pie underneath?
>>21757248Yup
>>217550501-2 chicken on a stick depending how big they aresalt n pepper shrimpwhatever fried rice
Meats, raw seafood etc etc over and over. I've become a master at picking out all the meats and seafood (aka the healthy stuff) from buffets and disposing the added rice and unhealthy stuff.
>>21757254>t. wears clogs
>>21757288Merrell Hiking Boots because I'm not fat like yourself.
I usually just meander around grabbing what looks fresh and pleasing. I'm not fat enough to have some kind of 12 point action plan for a buffet like it's mission impossible.
>>21757417it's a 3 plate plan though>first is everything you don't make at home>2nd and 3rd are salmon rolls
>>21757443idk what a salmon roll is but I got some of those meat sticks and they gave me food poisoning last year. haven't been back to a buffet since then.
>>21755408the OP pic says exactly that
>>21757452Salmon roll is sushi, served raw. And I guarantee they don't use sushi-grade salmon, either.
>>21757570I've never had sushi and I don't think I'd start with sushi from a Chinese buffet
>>21757570>sushi-grade salmon>"sushi-grade"
>>21758093Yes "sushi-grade" you dumb frogtard
>>21755088>scorpion bowl>BOWL
>>21758135>sushi-grade>dumb
>>21758135>sushi-grade"Meaningless. Salmon is either flash-frozen to kill parasites or it's not. Even if it's flash frozen, USDA still advises cooking to accepted safe temperatures. Which is not to say you'll necessarily get sick from eating it raw, but there is no body that officially certifies fish as "sushi grade". Your local store may put that label on something to charge you more, just like they sell lead-contaminated Indian turmeric to retarded yoga wine aunts who think it's magic powder, but try asking the fishmonger to define "sushi grade". The closest he'll get it "I washed my hands before touching it... maybe"
>>21757417kek
>>21755050They most important factor for any buffet is that it's CROWDED and BUSY. That ensures that the food in the heater trays is getting replaced often, and that the restaurant has not recently had a major food poisoning scandal that would keep people away. When I think back on my worst buffet experiences, they were at places that were suspiciously empty at lunch and dinnertime. (Normal dinnertime, not retiree dinnertime at 4:00pm.) My favorite Oriental buffet is the size of a supermarket with seating for hundreds, they routinely get tour buses during summer with no problem, and although the food is low quality, it's at least as good as the the local corner Chinese takeout. They also have a takeout option where they literally just charge you "by the pound" for a mixed container of anything. It's peak industrial sloppa and I'm not ashamed to leave with a styrofoam container of sushi, fried chicken, beef with broccoli, and jello desserts for Friday Anime Night. [spoiler]ITEDAKEMASU[/spoiler]
>>21758608>2011>praying to itadakimasu
