I am proud to announce I solved another restaurant problem. The waitresses always take away the menus after I order and I never understood it. What if I want more food, later? I put my water glass on top of the menu and it worked. If your cup is on it, they don't take the menu away. It's perfect. The menu stays with me, now.
Previously, I also solved the problem of fast food people who try to talk to you when you are trying to read the menu above their heads. I can't make up my mind if you're talking to me and there's lots of choices.I realized that I could walk outside to the drive-thru menu, and so long as you aren't in an automobile, no one talks to you. You can stare at the menu for as long as you need.You guys can have that tip too. I'm getting pretty good at solving these people problems.
>>21755483Why do you need two meals fatty
Solved a problem only you have because why the hell would I order more? If I want to order something to go I'll just ask them about it
>>21755483"I'll keep the menu if that's cool, I sometimes order something else later."The problem is with your social anxiety, not the restaurant.
>>21755483>I'd like to keep the menu>>21755504>I'm not ready to order yet
>>21755504>>21755643Didn't even see this other one. If you've never been to a place or have no idea then just look it up on your phone to get an idea beforehand, or just ask the person taking your order what's good there or what they sell a lot of if you don't have anything in particular in mind.Again this is a problem with you, this time one of poor planning. But I have faith that you will eventually work on these issues and improve, anon.
>>21755650>>21755648>>21755644>>21755642You guys all have social disorder. That's where you speak to strangers like an absolute freakshow. no one wants to hear you talk just shut the fuck up once in your life.But you can't. Your disorder prevents you from knowing when to shut your goddamned mouth. talk talk talk it's all you can do. fucking jibber jabber freaks.
>>21755662that's a lot of words for someone who is ansd aiisjddjjd
Man, I was just in public and saw a girl getting that talking face and I quickly turned my back and pretended to stare at some sign on the wall for a while. She proceeded to have a conversation with another person in the immediate vicinity. I thought I lucked out and I hadn't been the conversational target, but then the original speaker revealed the whole conversation had been a misunderstanding and she had been talking to "that man" (me) the whole time.I don't know how the fuck you can be talking to me when you clearly missed and talked to someone else. These people really can't take a hint.
>>21755632I just like to have the option. I've never actually "ordered more" in my whole life because I never had the menu, but now I'm completely unchained and control the menu totally. Things might change.
>>21755662Just fucking tell them you want to keep the menu, you already need to tell them what you want to eat. Unless you employ your new special restaurant hack of "pointing to the menu item you want while looking away like an invalid and hoping the waitress understands."
>>21755675That's why I like foreign food so much. I can pretend it's a language barrier thing when really my pronunciation is perfect but that doesn't matter because they don't know and I just point at what I want.There's another free tip to shut down the talking freaks.
>>21755642>why the hell would I order more?has this guy never heard of dessert
>>21755682>he actually does just point to his menu like a deafmute retardYou must have such a hard time any time you need to interact publicly. I spontaneously start conversations with people in public when I'm in stores or restaurants where appropriate and I can tell when people like you start floundering like a fish on a boat.
>>21755704>my opinion of the weather is so critically important that I must convey it to everyone I spot at the grocery storecan you spontaneously shut the fuck up? that sure would be nice.
>is it okay if I keep this?Its literally that easy
>>21755711If you're going to beg permission to keep the menu like a dog nothing can stop you, I suppose. Maybe after you're done eating, you can go to the kitchen and volunteer to clean all the plates by licking the food residue off like the fucking little bitch you are?
>>21755483Have you tried opening your goddamn mouth to say the magic words>Could I have the menu again please?It's like magic, when the spell resolves you will be given th menu again! Incredible.
>>21755714You hang your head like a dog and hope the waitress doesn't just take your menu like a filthy dog with its food bowl though. If the waitress just lifts the glass and takes the menu anyway, you won't stop them in any way, will you? Just seethe about it for 30 minutes and then maybe bitch on here later because you have no real friends to talk about it with.
>>21755483Just grip the menu in both hands and make steady eye contact. They usually get the message and quickly move on.
>>21755726eyes are the window to the soul, I don't make eye contact with anyone I don't trust. Unless they are my enemies, of course, than I have to watch them closely in case they make any sudden movements. That's the only exception.
>>21755725>lifts my glassthey can't do it. The restaurant rules state that they can't take my food away until it's done. As long as I don't drink from the water cup it's safe.
>>21755733They're not taking it though, just lifting it for a sec to take the menu to give you room for your food that will come.But you avoided the question. If they did this, you wouldn't stop them, would you? Just let them take what you wanted like a whipped dog.
>>21755735I can tactically put my hand on the glass if I see they are going for it, as though I'm about to take a drink.But I don't see this as a very likely eventuality, not once in my life has a waitress ever come to put her grubby little paws on my food mid-meal. They come once at the start to bring the things and then again at the end to take the things away. there's no middle trip to reposition my water glass
>>21755708>so critically importantNot important, just pleasant. It's enjoyable and fulfilling to talk to other people. You don't enjoy this but you're in the minority, if you don't like it then don't show your face in public venues, aspie.
>>21755669What man?? You're a fucking mouse. A bittch mouse at that
>>21755753classic selfish behaviour. you only think about your pathetic little desires and they aren't even good desires. at least most people are smart enough to be selfish about money or something worthwile.
Yeah those talkative people are getting more freakish by the day, I was at the liquor store and one of them tried to talk to me from the till when I was all the way at the back of the store. You don't yell across a whole building to talk to someone unless there is an active emergency. You walk over and talk to them in a normal speaking voice.I just ignored him and walked out, the liquor store didn't have any mead anyway. When I found a liquor store that did have mead and the clerks weren't freaks, I wound up not drinking it anyway because my hotel room has no microwave? This is a fancy hotel there should be a microwave but I have no way to heat up my mead.
>>21755752So again again, if they DID move to take away your menu anyway, you wouldn't do anything to stop her, would you? You just hope that they won't, holding your breath every time you finish stammering out your order.
>>21755767Another tedious talker with no problem solving ability besides talking more.>did talking work?>no>okay try talking again maybe it'll work this time
They usually take the menu away because they make them huge in print with pictures so that old people with broken eyeballs and retards can read them. I don’t want that shit taking up space. If I want to look at the menu again later I’ll steal one from another table when the wage cucks aren’t looking
>>21755800Talking does work though. You simply say "I will keep the menu" and they let you keep the menu.......or you>rub your fingers on your glass possessively>while letting it touch your menu>and avoid eye contact>as you point to pictures on the menu>and shrug your shoulders>and bob your head expectantlyGosh which one is easier, faster, and more direct, it is a mystery, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
>>21755733>>21755735I hope they lift up the glass with fingertips touching the rim.
they take menus away so food doesn't get all over them
>>21755814not from me though because my cup's in the way
>>21755686When they ask about dessert and you say yes you get a menu
>>21755831>lemme just lift the glass and get that menu from there, honey. If you'd like to keep it, just say so>actually, I'm a bit parched. Mind if I have a quick sip of your water? Just say no if that's not okay.>appreciate it, dear
>>21755831Now the menu is wet.
>>21755852kek
>>21755765What happened to the mead?
>>21755765Very subtle, nice, I like it. You're trying to portray people who don't want to chit-chat at the liquor store as reddit viking larper faggots who are also autistic enough to demand that their mead be served hot.
>>21755632what if they don't have a separate alcohol and dessert menu?
>>21756257Alcohol menus typically stay at the table, and servers typically offer a desert menu to you if you don't ask for it yourself. Either way, just fucking ask if you decide you want it, or tell them you'll keep the menu if you decided that from the outset.
>Waitresses seething in this thread about how they can't steal the menu back.
>>21756293why are you so obsessed with talking to the waitresses? they aren't going to fuck you no matter how many menu related questions you ask. Just calm down for a bit, close your mouth, and keep your water glass on the menu.
>>21756612Why are you so hellbent on avoiding conversation, to the point of doing roundabout coded messages just to avoid saying 5 words to someone that gets paid to ask you for your order in the first place? It's pathetic.Do you need to wait for the waitress to offer the check and just nod creepily too? Like you wave her down and point at your empty plate then shake your head demurely until she guesses correctly that you're ready to pay? You're the sort of person that everyone else laughs about afterwards, I'd pay extra for the comedy of seeing you fumble through a restaurant experience. Dinner and a show. I might strike up a conversation with you afterwards while you wait outside for your mom to pick you up.
>>21755483>I put my water glass on top of the menu and it worked.They will take the menu away before I even receive the glass of water in case I ordered some.
>>21756633having a bit of a freakdown, I see. talkers are truly obnoxious. they can't stand the thought of someone, somewhere, not being interested in their blather.How many times, today, have you told people they are living the dream? I'm sure shelf stockers love hearing it, again, and again, and again. The way you repeat phrases you heard from someone else endlessly is so witty.
>>21756633You don't have to say anything regarding the bill, that's never been an issue. People will always make sure you get invoices, whether you say anything, or not.
>>21756730>he thinks to himself angrily, sweating and fidgeting uncomfortably as someone makes small talk to him in line at a storeYour malding is toothless because you can't stomach the courage to say that(or anything) to the people you hate in public.>>21756735The image of anon sperging out at the table and the waitress trying to interpret what she thinks is sign language is just very amusing to me.
>>21756223something is wrong with your brain if you're seeing reddit everywhere
>everyone flips out over some helpful tips This seems like an overreaction. I wouldn't want to talk to anyone who acts like that either.
Usually there are several menus at the table when you arrive and only later they take them. I hide one before they can. or snatch another table's menu, or something.
>>21756956Just using it as shorthand for an archetype of brain rotted queer, regardless of their actual website usage
>>21755662What stage of autism is this?
>>21756293>what if they don't do [x]?>well typically they'll do [x]Illiterate retard
>>21757851
>>21755483The "problem" here is (You)r autism. Learn to COMMUNICATE.>me: "I'd like to hold on to the menu as I may wish to order additional items later">waitress: "okay, that's fine!"Wow, what a complex and difficult concept!!
>>21755644/thread>>21757851Terminally online & no in-person social interactions, leading to atrophied social skills and confused interpersonal comprehension.
>>21755662>Your disorder prevents you from knowing when to shut your goddamned mouthYOUR disorder prevents you from knowing when to OPEN your mouth. The only person here with a disorder is (You).
>>21757896there's pills you can take if you're a freakish talkoholic who can't solve any of his problems without opening his big fat stupid mouth
>>21757906>ONE (1) sentence = talkaholicTake your meds.>not the usual double sentence line spacing, BUT triple spacing....>before typing even a single characterAgain, take your meds. You're not well.
>>21757910Sorry, you lose. The other guy suggested you take your meds before you could tell him to take his meds. Too slow.
>zoomers are so socially anxious they need to have long discussions about how to best avoid saying a single word to their serversThere's gotta be something in the water
>talkers when it's been 14 seconds since the last time anyone talked.gotta gotta talk
>>21755483>What if I want more food, later?"Lemme get the menu again."It's that easy.
>>21757944talker cope. you just want an excuse to talk and you go to whatever lengths necessary to find an excuse to open your obese and retarded mouth.
What restaurants are you guys going to where the waitress sneaks up and grabs your menu off your table and runs off with it? They usually ask "can I take your menu?" or something. If they don't they always take long enough that there's plenty of time to say "oh, I'll keep that for now." Not really something worth thinking about.
>>21757962And you'll keep your mouth shut like a good boy while I slip my fat cock up your pink little asshole? Sounds good to me.
>>21757980yeah
>>21757944If the solution of greatest ease is the goal, then the water cup solution would obviously be the route to choose.But I don't think you care about what's easiest.
>>21755483Or you could try not being a weird autistic sperglord and just tell the waitress that you'll keep one menu to order further stuuf later.
>>21758085Literally what's easier than getting your server to deliver it to you without you having to lift a finger?
>>21758149Already having it.
>>21757921talkoids CANN NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP! I CAN TALK - CAN YOU STOP?
>>21757891>AI slopStay ignorant, retard.>>21757901>Terminally online & no in-person social interactions, leading to atrophied social skills and confused interpersonal comprehension.That's every anon though.
>>21755483It's because of OP that we are stuck with picrel
>>21757891I think the guy I was living with on a Project Zomboid server had this. I remember some times I'd log in and I'd try to sneak out of the base before he noticed me (he was also always online)
>>21758212Sometimes I time them. They can go for hours. I finish all my work for the day before they even stop talking.
>>21755483I place the menu in my crotch so if the waitress wants it she has to grab my dick.Either I keep the menu or I get my dick grabbed. Win win.
>>21758085Saying a couple of words as you sit down is easier than watchdogging your menu the entire meal for people that don't fear human interaction. I get the feeling that you would do pushups between courses if it kept you from needing to meaningfully communicate with another human being.
>>21759405well, push-ups counts as self improvement so they can never count as a negative worthless activity. They might not be "easy" but that's fine since you get stronger when you do them.
>>21759405>meaningfully communicateis this guy for fucking real? You don't seriously believe conversations about the menu are meaningful. This explains a lot, actually.
>>21759413I'm not talking about deep philosophical topics, you socially stunted twerp. Nobody does this with a waitress. I'm talking about the difference between communicating a clear and succinct message, and anon piling random shit on top of his menu and hoping that the waitress just gets the message, or doing workouts on the restaurant floor like an idiot as he is justifying above you. This would be obvious to you if you left your house more than once every 6 months.
>>21759411>push-ups counts as self improvementNot for me. My muscles are too big already so doing pushups makes me worse.
>>21759419You don't talk to waitresses about meaningful things because you're a scared little coward who is afraid to talk to waitresses about anything substantive. you hide in your little world of socially approved slogans that no one can get mad at like a baby robot.All you do is read from a script. It's pathetic. God your life must be boring. Every restaurant scene you are in is the same exact thing, over and over again, until you die.
>>21759449>"Hah! You shouldn't try to have meaningful conversations with the waitress about the menu!">"I don't.">"...Well, why not? Are you scared?"I touched I nerve, huh? It's not the right place to have a deep convo, aspie. I can break down why if you're confused, just let me know. I get that every conversation is terrifying for you so you assign undue importance on any verbal exchange, but that's not healthy behavior. Makes you a bundle of nerves, liable to spill your water on the menu.
>>21759464>It's not the right place to have a deep convobecause you are a scared little boy who is too afraid of breaching social norms. you whole mind is filled of horror stories about what will happen to you if you don't follow the rules. you can't break them. the waitress will laugh at you. you'll be a virgin forever if that happens and sent to the island of people who broke the rules where you have to work on scriptwriting, forever.
>>21759514>this from the camp that's too afraid to make eye contact or say "I'll keep my menu"You gonna tap your conversation via morse code with your cup of water? lmao
>>21755483I’m kind of new to this art. Who is this anime?
>>21758289>take picture>make a fake one linking to goatse>replace on next visit
this is a discord raid we have to reclaim the board
>>21755708absolute state of this aspie
>>21755753>Not important, just pleasant. It's enjoyable and fulfilling to talk to other peopleIt's an invasion of my personal space.
>>21755753maybe you'd like to come over and fuck my sister while you're at it?
>>21759708you know he won't do shit but keep seething that the world doesn't conform to his retarded bullshit, right?on the off chance he takes an hour off getting raped by delivery services and actually go out to a grocer or eatery he will just shuffle along pathetically wearing their gay retard headphones (yes we can all tell) and literally everyone will treat him like the diseased subhuman he is. The social incentive that keeps his kind self isolated isn't enough. We are so close to the ideal state of things where his retard filth get put in asylums or better yet exiled to the sperg equivalent of a leper colony. That's how much society at large would rather his ilk not be in it
>>21759720Your socially stunted presence is an imposition to functioning members of society in public. If you don't care about inconveniencing others with your defective existence then other people shouldn't have to care about your preferences. But I will fuck your sister if she's physically attractive.>>21759737I'm trying to fuck his sister here, don't ruin this for me.
>>21759739Wow for a supposed social butterfly you sure don't understand sarcasm
>>21759739>it's inconvenient when you don't tolerate my bullshit small talk about the weatheryou're just angry that everyone is catching onto the fact that you have nothing interesting to say.
>>21759737cope for a dope. no one will stop my campaign of silence, but you can whine all you want.
>>21755504>>21755650>>21755662Are you one of those assholes who walks up to the counter and only THEN decides to look at the menu? Go fys. Blaming the actual cashier for your being an inconsiderate prick.
>>21759850I'll order whenever the fuck I want and you'll take the order. That's the difference between masters and servants. You are a servant of me. You obey my orders. Large fries. Pepsi with ice. Burger, no sauce.
Talkers btfo
>>21755669Wear big, obvious headphones and pretend not to notice people trying to talk to you. Or just talk to people and realise it's not that big of a deal, you can say whatever, most will go away. If someone approaches you with a camera, that's when you need to run. I've run into some nasty reporters before, big street full of people and they went straight for me. Scary.>>21755662If you never speak to people you don't already know, how the hell do you get to know anyone? Imagine losing your phone and having to ask for the way. You'd rather walk around in circles first, huh?>>21755704>I spontaneously start conversations with people in public when I'm in stores or restaurants...There is such a thing as too much. Why would you do this to people?There's a difference between speaking up when you need to and striking up awkward conversations with strangers. >>21755765They just tried to save you from drinking shitty liquor, it's not good for your health. They couldn't have known you were there for mead.>>21759850Happens to me all the time because usually, there's no one else in line and in order to read the menu, I need to walk up to the counter because I've been neglecting to purchase glasses for myself.
>>21759604https://store.steampowered.com/app/2323200/Uberich_Advent_Sinners/
>>21760175>There's a difference between speaking up when you need to and striking up awkward conversations with strangers.When you're not a socially stunted retard like OP, you know the difference. It's pretty obvious when a person is open to light conversation. OP is probably safe from his pungent body odor alone.
>>21755643I’d munch on her slutty taco
>>21761287Most talkers are socially stunted, they can't comprehend the concept that no one wants to hear their blather.It's just two sides of the same coin.
>>21761352>Most talkers are socially stuntedRegular socialization is actually what keeps people from becoming stunted like you. That's why you are stunted yourself. You've run from interaction probably most of your life and you're bad at it now. You wouldn't know what bad social skills look like.If you don't want to hear what someone has to say and they're talking anyway it's probably because they don't care what you want, the same way you don't care what the cashier or other customers behind you want at the counter when you get up there and then take an eternity to figure out your order. Why should people care about what you want if you don't care about what they want?
