This will be is first serious thread I've made here. Gotten a few three day bans for trolling.Believe it or not, I'm 39 years old, and I have barely used an oven in my whole entire life. The reason why makes me sound like an absolute stone cold retard. Well, I'm on the spectrum, which means I'm weirdly smart with certain things and weirdly stupid with others (like using an oven, for example)I've barely used an oven because I got confused by the "preheating" instructions. I was like "preheat? what's that?"Well, last month, I had a severe manic episode, and one thing I've learned about myself is that it takes a severe manic episode to make me wanna do normie shit like socializing and preparing food that isn't microwaved.So anyhoo, the mania hasn't worn off yet, so what the fuck should I do with my newfound oven prowess before the depression sets in and I go back to microwaving frozen taquitos?
Bake a massive focaccia and decorate it with stuff like artichokes, tomatoes, olives etc. Then share it with friends!Now looking back, do you think you were really severely manic (that would mean like having to be hospitalized), or were you actually euthymic for the first time after a lifelong depressive phase?
Hi anon. I too am on the spectrum though. Much lighter. High functioning. And I went to culinary school for baking and pastry. And I'm in my 40s. If you weren't on 4chan, we'd be friends.The obvious advice is to start simple so you can learn the oven.The oven is made up of a few major parts. I'll be skipping anything minor or irrelevant to this conversation. If you decide to learn more about a topic I gloss over, please search online.There's the door. You'll notice the door is edged in a gasket, this keeps heat in the oven. There's a heating element. This is basically a metal rod twisted across the top (and/or bottom, depending on the model), that heats up when you turn in your oven.Now this is where preheating becomes important. Some models come with a fan built into the interior of the oven. This is called a convection oven. It circulates heat so that the entire oven chamber is evenly heated. When baking or cooking things, you want the product you are making to go into a hot oven. If you put it onto a cold oven, and THEN turn it on, that ramp up to the desired heat could take forever, could fuck with cooking times, could create unevenly cooked food. So, when it says "pre-heat," just turn the oven on, set the temperature you need, and wait. It will slowly ramp up to the desired temperature, and then beep when it's ready. That's when you enter your product. Don't forget to Set a timer. The oven will not turn off by itself. The timer is just to alert you. When done, turn off the oven. Most products can then be removed from the oven and set on a wire rack or towel to drop to room temperature.Would you like ideas for things to make? Or do you have questions about anyywe covered?
>>21788835I think it's the latter, but everyone, including my family, thinks it's just mania. I'm somehow not surprised. My dad always thinks I'm manic whenever I show too much emotion.What my parents don't know, however, is that the traumatic brain injury I got three years ago brought my psychopathic tendencies to the surface. I still haven't told them that I tried to have them killed three years ago. I didn't actually go through with it because I didn't bring my phone with me when I stole my mom's car and drove like a bat out of hell out of Washington DC to escape a nuclear explosion that was predicted by Chronos, an Elder Scrolls/Halo speedrunner who spent weeks gaslighting me on discord because he knew I had a TBI and could easily be taken advantage of.
>>21788848>>21788835https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81lcPfpz7VM&t=1460s>The popular speedrunner known as Chronos, particularly in the Super Smash Bros. scene and for organizing events like MoistCritikal's challenges, is Caleb Filler. He's a US-based player from Colorado who mains Snake in Smash Ultimate and has participated in major speedrunning events like GDQ and ESA.
>>21788844Forgot to mention about convection ovens: the fan keeps the heat even throughout the oven. If no fan, then it's not a convection oven. People with non-convection ovens need to HOPE there are no major hot/cold spots in the oven, since the heat isn't being circulated.Finally, you don't need to know any of this. Plenty of literally retarded people use the oven every day, you just need to know how to turn it on or off, like in my previous post.
>>21788853I've been nice to people my entire life, and I'm fucking sick of it. Chronos has no fucking idea what is about to happen to him. My revenge is going to be fucking brutal and disgusting and by the time I'm through with that subhuman monkey he's gonna wish he was never born
>>21788844OP here. I've tried making Arby's curly fries, and a few other things I can't remember. Just a few hours ago I put some in the oven, but I can't find my phone, so I used the timer on google, but I was signed into the wrong chrome profile, so I didn't hear the timer ding, so I never turned the fries over and they got burned. Why the fuck is using an oven so fucking hard
>>21788844Thanks for the advice! If any of y'all want to suggest things to make, go right ahead, but just so we're clear, folks....I'm not so completely manic that I'm going to go to the store and buy vegetables and kitchen knives and shit and prepare everything. I'm only looking for frozen shit that can be put in the oven.
>>21788863It's not the oven. The problem is you couldn't find your phone. But, the oven also has a timer, usually a clock icon (or it'll just say timer). Most ovens: press the icon, enter the amount of time in minutes:seconds, press the icon again, and you should see a countdown timer.
I thought the new IQ test captchas were supposed to keep you retards out
>>21788866LasagnaaaaaaGarlic breadDino nuggiesOnce you're comfortable using the oven and making frozen shit, then get yourself some frozen, pre-seasoned chicken breasts. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, embrace the 'tism, and go for nuggies, lasagna, garlic bread.I don't wanna be obvious but: bake them separately. They probably have different temps and times, so bake 1, then set the temp for the other, and then bake the other. Dino
>>21788873When you buy these things, just make sure the instructions have directions for oven use. Lots of it is just microwave shit like what you've been buying. It takes only a moment to check.
>>21788871Even retards like me can afford a $30 4chan passCheckmate, retard
>>21788873I could do lasagna for SURE. I'm hungry and that sounds mighty tasty. Overall, I'm just looking for shit I can just pop in the oven, without too much hassle. Y'know, shit you'd find in the frozen aisle at ShopRite
>>21788874I may be a retard when it comes to food, but I'm not so retarded that I don't know to check the back of the box to see if it's oven safe.Actually, I've checked the back of the box for that for years now. I avoided anything that could only be made in the oven because basically I was afraid to use it.
>>21788880Then you have your task homie. Buy a variety. Different brands, different types, veggie, Alfredo, whatever tickles your pickle. Have fun with it, and as long as you DON'T FORGET YOU HAVE SHIT IN THE OVEN, and DON'T FORGET TO TURN IT OFF WHEN DONE, then you're golden. Every step is a learning experience. Enjoy! And don't kill anyone!
>>21788812oven cook those frozen taquitos.then you'll realize that microwaves are useless.
>>21788884Retardation benchmarks is an underutilized discipline, you'll forgive my erring on the side of caution.
>>21788844Forgot to mention, pre-heat times depend on the desired temperature and the oven itself (some are slower, newer ones are faster, etc). But on average like 10 minutes or so to get to, say, 350? American units.
>>21788844this reads like an ai wrote it.
>the idiots who make shitpost troll threads are middle aged retards literally too retarded to use an ovenWhy am I not surprised.
>>21788934Thanks!
>>21788848Have you seen a doctor about the TBI? If not you may want to prioritize that over heating up frozen lasagna
