I heard chia seeds give you perfect shits, so I started sprinkling them in every meal. What I didn't know, was that they absorb water like crazy, so you have to either soak them before consumption or drink a lot of water during consumption. I did neither and they essentially sucked all moisture out of my shit and I thought I was gonna die trying to squeeze that one out.
>>21796973>I thought I was gonna die trying to squeeze that one out.The standard american toilet experience
So you decided to eat something without doing ANY homework on how exactly you’re supposed to?I bet you were one of those kids that ate boogers, crayons, and glue.
Reminds me of that Asian guy with his story of the guy who downed a bunch of psyllium husky powder presenting to the emergency room, cause more fiber more better.
>>21796973you have to eat lot of fiber for good shits my nigger.so eat things like oatmeal, beans, legumes, vegetables.dry chia seeds will just go through your colon without doing anything
>>21796973disgusting. if you’re at the point where you’re min maxxing your fucking shits just off yourself
>>21797268found the fatass hemorrhoid cuck
>>21797221I was one of those kids. We knew, we weren't supposed to. We did it anyway.
>>21797221I still eat my boogers, and I'm an adult supposedly.
>>21797235You ate almost definitely referring to ChubbyEmu.
>>21797235i once poured a bunch of it down the sink and it clogged it so bad i had to take the pipes apart to clear it out
>>21796987>without fucking fail, no exceptions
>>21796973no shit
>>21796973god, this image reminds me of when I contracted for facebook. pictures of chia seeds are so prolific when selling bullshit weight-loss supplements/fake medicine
>>21796973>I did neither and they essentially sucked all moisture out of my shit and I thought I was gonna die trying to squeeze that one out.I had that once, but it was from not shitting for two weeks.My turd was like a fucking rock, compacted into a proto-doodoodiamond.It got stuck halfway out me arse and I had to wrap my hand in toilet paper to make a glove so I could pull it out while I had tears starting to run down my face.It slipped out of my papery grip and landed on the floor.It didn't splat.It didn't leave a single mark.It clattered.Like a marble.
>>21798475>it was from not shitting for two weeks.do americans really?
>>21798478I'm Australian.
>>21798475Kak, wished it was true
>>21796973
>>21797281I put them on crayons like paste
Poo stories are inherently funny
>>21796987Natural and healthy food Is cancer to them, they are fully zogged
>>21799567that and their perpetual state of dehydration on account of all the water being contamination. Truly third world.
