How do I beat my meat without annoying everyone in the house? They complain about the noise.
>>21809149Step one: Wrap your meat in plastic wrap.Step two: Put the meat on the floor and a pan or cutting board on top of it.Step three: Ask your gf to step on your meat.There, noiselessly tenderized meat.
beat your meat over a solid working surface, or at least over a solid bit of joinery under the counter top.the hollow cabinets are amplifying the beats of your meats.or just tell them to shut up and cook their own supper if they're going to be whiny about it.
Fuck em, just incorporate them into your lustful fantasies.
>>21809149common misconceptionyou should NOT be hammering your meat with a tenderizer malletthis squeezes the juice outyou should slowly press the tenderizer mallet like a hydraulic press in each section of your meat until it is flattened evenly how you want it.
>>21809224this sounds like an old wives tale
>>21809149OH WAIT I GET IT, ITS A DOUBLE ENTENDRE FOR MASTURBATION HOW DELIGHTFULLY WHIMSICAL FRESH AND INVENTIVENOBODY HAS EVER MADE THIS JOKE BEFORE
>>21809224Do this if your new axe wound makes pounding meat too painful, since it might upset the stitches
