what’s the best way to cook broccoli so I can eat it without wanting to kill myself?
>>21811472Don't cook it at all.Raw dipped in ranch is objectively the best way to eat broccoli.
>>21811472Broccoli Almondine
>>21811472It has less to do with how to prepare them than you being a fucking faggot
>>21811472in a pan with butter
>>21811487And lemon and almonds. Broccoli almondine.
>>21811472I just heat a frozen bag in the microwave, empty the contents on a plate, and lay a square of yellow cheese on top. Heathy quick and easy
>>21811472Steam until soft, toss in butter and salt.
Roasted with olive oil, blanched and thrown into a stir fry.
>>21811472cut into roughly evenly sized piecestoss with oil, salt, pepperroast in oven at 400F for 20 minutes total, tossing after 10 minutesif not crispy enough, return to oven for another 5-10 minutes
If you eat broccoli that isn't shite, it will taste wonderful just boiled with salt. But it's gotta be the real green stuff. The brown ones are bitter and gross.
this nigga eatin brown broccoli
>>21811513A stir fry of almond garlic and lemon juice. Broccoli almondine.
>>21811492>american cheese>healthy
>>21811527>boiledYeah good job removing all the nutrients, the only reason anyone ever eats broccoli
>>21811530Sure, I'll have some.
>>21811527It tastes good steamed/boiled if you LIKE broccoli. For someone who doesn't like broccoli, roasting it removes a lot of the "icky" flavors. Same with brussels sprouts.
>>21811472Steamed but not over steamedLots of melted butter with salt
>>21811531is it not?i'd be interesting in seeing a source if you have one
>>21811472>Morbidly obese>BaldingBro, it's too late to eat broccoli...
>>21811472You make the exact same thread twice a month, how about you just read the replies from the previous ones, faggot
>>21811472Asian brown sauce is what got me to like broccoli.
>>21811583If you think thats good you should try my american white sauce
>>21811527>The brown onesI have never once seen brown broccoli. Are you sure you didn't just let it rot or something?
>>21811510and lemon
>>21811472Add some umami.
>>21811472my solution is to put it in a rice cooker as i start the rice, it just melts and you dont even know there was broccoli in there, you can put a lot in too
>>21811472Just season it.My standard is cooking it in sesame oil, cracking a bit of salt, and throwing in some chilli flakes.Also like cooking it in bacon fat and tossing in parmesan.Use sauces. Teriyaki, sweet and chilli, barbecue, cacio e pepe, lemon butter, etc. Doing steak? Use the fond to make a pan sauce and toss the broccoli in it.Shit, you could boil/sear/steam it to soften it and just salt it. Just be simple.Stop being a retard and just season your goddamn food, anon.
>>21811553sulphurophanes is the root cause...
>>21811553>Morbidly obese>>21811669>sulphurophanes is the root cause...Yeah hes not fat at all. His body is probably full of 10 gallons of gas.
>>21811531>>21811551it's just cheddar with added milk and sodium citrate
Boil it before using it in a dish or stir fry.
burn it in the oven then toss with soy sauce in a wok and then melt cheese on top
>>21811527>The brown oneswhat in tarnation
I steam it and don't add anything to it. I eat veggies because they are healthy thats it. I accept that and force it down my throat. As soon as you fuck with it to make it tastier it's not healthy anymore.
>>21811472Why do you even want to eat broccoli, if that's how you feel about it?
>>21812017dawg, at least ,allow a smear of sriracha for taste
>>21812024nope
i like it with onions and peppers and mushroom with whatever sauce flavors im feelin like warchester sauce or chinesefood rice sauce, and whatever spice i think smells good then all that will go good with a protein im cookin like chikken, beef or pork. Eating healthy is cool because it can taste good and be good for you so you don't feel bad about eating tasty trash like poptarts
raw, plain.
>>21811472Don't eat it if it tastes bad for you. The science haven't figured out yet that different people have different nutritional needs but it will surely get there some day.
>>21811472blanche and shock, season with salt and pepper, toss with oil if so inclined, exactly the same as most green vegetables
>>21812528something can also just taste bad if it's poorly cooked
>>21811472I love broccoli. It's... good for you.
>>21811690>he's not fat at allForgot we had to share the board with amerifats...
>>21811483>piss-dry broccoli AND piss-dry almonds inside your mouthYou retarded by birth or did you do it to yourself?
>>21811472>36 years old
>>21812017There are tasty things that are healthy too. You can do lemon and pepper with it, and both of those are healthy for you too. You're making your broccoli less healthy by denying yourself those two flavors that go well with it, ironically.
If you can't enjoy the taste of some simple steamed broccoli then you don't deserve to eat it at all and I do not pity you
>>21811472>throw in for few minutes into boiling water and bake with pasta and cheese sauce>roast in the oven with other veggies / potatoes / tofuthese are main two, I also like broccoli smoothies, with banana, apple, walnuts and water
>>21812649based
>>21811472I suppose if you don't already enjoy broccoli, you may like it 1 of 3 ways, using florets only:1. Oven roasted with a simple toss of olive oil and seasoning, til browned and shriveled a bit. Flip halfway to brown all sides. Also good grilled on the BBQ grill, just get a bit more marinade w/ or w/o balsamic.2. Steamed until only crisp tender, and sprinkled with fresh lemon juice and lots of pepper and lemon zest. Salt.3. Cold "broccoli salad" which is prepared by blanching and tossing in slightly sweet creamy mayo dressing with ham or bacon, raisins or cranberries, and crunchy nuts like toasted sunflower seeds or smoked almonds. Sometimes there is fresh cheddar and other add-ins.
>>21812528this is something fat people tell each other so they don't feel bad about themselvesroll yourself into a drainage ditch please
>>21812715Fat people eat too much. Not necessarily they eat bad things. And they exercise too little.retard
>>21811479incorrect as ranch is nasty.you dip raw broccoli in salsa.
>>21811472>grate raw broccoli on cheese grater into ceramic baking dish>cube up brick of velveeta>toss velveeta and broccoli in dish like you're tossing a salad>crush up ritz crackers and use as bread crumb topping>bake in ovenwa la.
>>21812017eating is healthy.not eating is not healthy.stop the dead "x food is healthy, y food is unhealthy" 90s meme.
>>21812824Fat fingers typed this post
>>21812836you gotta quit doubling down on your lies, anon.
>>21811483>>21811489>>21811530why is he so obsessed with broccoli almondine
>>21811472Personally I just enjoy it steamed until very soft with kosher salt sprinkled on top. I just wish it didn't give me such horrific gas.
>>21811479U nasty
>>21812746not only does that not dispute what i said, but now i challenge you to show me a fatty who only eats an excess of healthy foods
>>21812868You gotta quit doubling down on your fries, anon.
>>21811472If the line is eating it without killing yourself. Just microwave it. Broccoli loses most of its bitterness when cooked, even in a microwave. Just add salt and you can scarf it down. If you're asking how to cook it to enjoy it, that's a different story.
Other day I ate a bowl of raw broccoli and cabbage with a sliced pork loin chop scattered over it. Pretty good
>>21812972stop being a liar.stop it now. we're outlawing it.
>>21811472I just microwave them for 1-2mins to soften them then add salt/pepper. I imagine a drizzle of lemon or lime would be really nice
>>21811472I do roast veggies (cherry tomatoes, peppers, onions, aubergines and broccoli) and I love when the florets get charred. Also, eat the stalk.
>>21811472Boil it iin salted water, slightly less than al dente because it will continue to cook out of the pot and you don't want to chill it by putting it in ice if you can avoid it. Use a lot more salt than you probably think you need. Absolutely do not overcook it. Toss it in a bit of butter. Season to taste. Serve.You can do more elaborate stuff with broccoli, but if you don't like the above you just don't like broccoli.
>>21811472Why would you force yourself to eating somthing you don't like ? Eat something else, there are plenty of alternatives if you want to eat healthier.
>>21814709If there's any basic foodstuff people eat that you don't like you're a pussy ass bitch. All that matters is how it's prepared.
The best way to cook broccoli is to put in a pan with 4 tablespoons of butter and a pour of olive oil. Add a couple cloves of garlic then once it’s cooked down a little add your broccoli. Keep cooking it until it browns then add real parmesan cheese on it and wait for it to melt. Salt and pepper to taste I also like to add a squeeze of lemon sometimes if I’m feeling a bit cheeky.
>>21814738>Keep cooking it until it browns then add real parmesan cheese on it and wait for it to meltWhy not just set fire to the broccoli and then scoop up the ashes onto your plate?
>>21814790Because then it wouldn’t taste good you cooklet.
>burns hand and mouth>plays it as some silly dance while crying insideLmao
>>21814791Sarcasm escapes you, I see. My criticism is that you're first browning your broccoli, and then adding Parmesan and waiting for it to melt. Unless there's something critical I'm missing, at that point your broccoli is donezo, boy or girl. I wouldn't feed it to my dog.
>>21811472How has no-one posted the correct answer yet: Soup. With cheese and bacon.
>>21814816I think you’re vastly overestimating the time it takes to melt parmesan
>>21812816You dip raw broccoli in brown gravy.
>>21811472He didn't even get any cheese on that broccoli he put in his mouth...
>>21815008
>>21814816Fresh Parmesan melts in like one second. If I put it on before the broccoli was browned it would burn. I have a sneaking suspicion you don’t spend a lot of time in the chicken
>>21814972>baconhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Msdpcck_AdI
>>21815008I was hoping he'd take it out of his mouth and go for a third attempt
>>21815253What's this move called?
>>21811472Cheese
>>21815829The chainlink dance
>>21812510Holy shit he lost weight
>>21812510we dont post geek here
>>21815253Why exactly does he hold his right arm in front of his gut like that? Is he trying to hide it?
>>21811472Add it to a spicy asian noodle soup
>>21812816Then blue cheese dressing?
Korean broccoli banchan is delicious
>>21811472Do you dumb niggers not even know how to eat your veggies properly?>Put 2 tbsp of water in a pot>Load frozen veg into pot, cover>Let steam, I usually stir once or twice to prevent any burning>Once water is 90% evaporated, lower heat>Put in 1 tbsp of butter in slices>Load up w/ spice, I use lemon pepper and/or Old Bay seasoning>ServeIt's just that simple, doesn't matter the veg. My favorite to do this with is green beans
>>21818180>frozen do amerifats really?
>>21818180>lemon pepperSo you're black, got it.
>>21811472I dunno, I have loved broccoli since I was a kid. It's probably my favorite veggie that isn't a potato or onion.
>>21818190Yea, we have freezers. We have the sweet life over here. Sorry your shithole country hasn't figured out something as basic as temperature control or food preservation. Spoiler alert: wheels are gonna blow your mind when you figure those out.
>>21818669>"why the fuck would you microwave icecream?">yea, we have microwaves. Sorry your shithole country hasn't figured out something as basic as temperature control and cooking food with radiation.We have freezers dipshit, we also have good taste.
>>21811472Hello! Yes I have the solution to this! Both easy and tasty yessir! Microwave frozen broccoli until it's just about thawed then stick it in the air fryer for a couple minutes. Finally make sure to salt it while it's hot. The salt counteracts the bitterness and the toasty flavours are more palatable. Yummers, roasted broccoli in 5 minutes!I start preparing it almost as an afterthought, sometimes I will pan fry them instead of I've already got a pan out. This technique works with other frozen vegetables too like carrots and so forth so get creative!
>>21811514This is great. I use Bari olive oil because they are really close to me and the flavor it adds is fantastic. I also add pepper flakes (I mix 3/4 thai chili and 1/4 ghost) for some spice and garlic powder. I like mine just a bit overdone, with the edges a bit darker. Stupid easy to make, and makes an amazing side dish for steak. The same thing works great for brussel sprouts. Cut them in half first though. >>21811472Steam it, put it in a bowl with pasta, shredded chicken, butter, and garlic. I buy that Walmart rotisserie chicken and shred that up for it. I use the florets for the former, and the cut stems for the latter.
I like it with a little butter and salt, if you need anything else youre a baby
>>21812535Would kindly explain what "blanche and shock" is? >>21812821I gotta try this. I have never thought to grate the broccoli. Would also be fantastic in mac n cheese, I would assume. >>21813246I do this too. Broccoli pairs great with a nice pork chop. >>21818180>Old Bay.My man. Good post OP. I just bought a ton of broccoli, so I will be making a lot of these.
>>21812609Its not supposed to be dry you just suck at cooking. >>21812887Have you ever had it its delicious and easy to make.
I make mine into meatloaf
>>21818678>We have freezers dipshitPicture or it doesn't happen.
>>21818669I do have a freezer and so does everyone i know. You know what we also have? Fresh vegetables for pocket change.
>>21818824no you didn't!! this is from REDDIT!!! you're a LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!
I would just like to point out that everybody telling OP to boil/steam the broccoli is too mentally retarded to understand the situation. That is all.
Broccoli and Cheddar Soup
>>21818754he made a typo, it's "blanch" Basically quickly boiling vegetables (blanching) and then dunking in ice water (shocking), keeps them crunchy, makes them greener, and they don't go mushy/gross.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanching_(cooking)
>>21818754>I have never thought to grate the broccoli.I make pancakes with grated cauliflower. Very tasty. You can surely make them with broccoli too. You just add a bit of flour, some eggs and seasoning; possibly grated onion for taste. It likes pepper.
Humans weren't meant to eat it because it tastes like bitter farts. That's why people can only tolerate it after covering it up with dip or cheese.
>>21820235>i'm a picky eater so everyone else must be too
>>21820242Having a food preference isn't being picky. You're just a garbage disposal that loves to eat bitter farts.
>>21820252broccoli tastes a bit sweet when you cook it properly
>>21811472Broccoli tastes outright good for me. I may just boil it plain in salt water and eat as a side dish.On the other hand, I want to puke if I am to eat some seafood and no "health expert" would convince me that it's good FOR ME. Listen to your body; rather.
>>21811472Steam or boil them.Then you can either:>dress them up with salt, olive oil, lemon juice.Or, in alternative>stir fry them in olive oil, garlic and chilly pepper
>>21813088how do you look like that and not put a shotgun to your head and pull the trigger is beyond me
>>21820351There is more to life than looks, anon. You're going to have a real tough time getting old if you're that hung up about them.
>>21820353Even Johnny Depp wouldn't have gotten laid if he was overweight.
>>21820358Who cares? Are you really wanting to blow your head off because you can't get laid or believe that's how the average person thinks? Maybe that dude found something else in life that made him happy besides looks and pussy. Hell, he probably still gets pussy.
>>21820364I feel like being fat is like putting yourself into a self-made prison.Imagine not being able to see your own dick, or even more honestly, being able to run like nature intended you to be able to. Imagine not being able to touch your own toes or pull your knees up to your chest.It's absolutely fucked that some people can let go that hard.
>>21820370https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Brower_MinnochEven the fattest dude that has ever lived was married. Twice. Women are far more repelled by terrible personalities than by a beer gut.
>>21820376Women also get raped and beaten and are basically an inferior minority in society in the eyes of many men.Even if a woman doesn't love me, at least I can fucking move my body.
>>21818678>>21819241>we totes have freezers guis! >but we dont use em to freeze stuffThirdies btfo and lying per usual
>>21820639I'm sorry you had to go through the American public school system, nonetheless the posts you're replying to aren't that hard to comprehend. Please try again.
>>21820686>doubles down on cope>proceeds to wash hands with cow piss>still can't even with freezers
>>21820378Fuck, dude. Not getting beaten and raped is a low bar. Take better care of yourself.
>>21811472>boil cut broccoli in a large pan until soft, fish it out and set aside >keep the water and boil short pasta in it, such as penne >gently fry some garlic on olive oil>add broccoli to the pan and smash it >season to taste>add pasta and mix it all together>plate it and pour some more olive oil if it comes out dryalternatively make a stir fry
>>21811472steam and salt, and if your tasting buds are nuked there are plenty of non fat based sauces that you can use
>>21820376pacific northwest legend, imagine if him and bing crosby met up
>>21811510I'll try this next. I always just steam my broccoli
>>21811472Am i reading into it too much. That's a very sexual gesture right? The under and over slapping move. Why did he do it though? There are no women in the video, it's a cooking video not a sexual one in the least
>>21822376he really likes broccoli
>>21811492Nauseating
>>21818180>frozenhahahahaha
>>21818071blue cheese has mold in it
>>21822376https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzXF0Rh8Ik8
>>21822419blue cheese has mold in it
>>21811472that's some tasty shit
>>21811472yes you clear man letter in flipswing yarn
>mfw the geek crafts activate
>>21823281What the fuck is that gay little twitchy dance he starts doing at the end
>>21823294>What the fuck is that gay little twitchy dance he starts doing at the endit's called the flipswing (snärtgung)
>>21822440blue cheese has mold in it
>>21823301>snärtgung
>>21820702Oh, you're brown. My condolences.
