Hi all.I am not very rich money-wise.I have a whole chicken (100% whole) and I have some asshole relatives coming for dinner.Question is: how do I make a boujee chicken (as in: to appear boujee but to be very cheap in reality).So I want them to develop ulcers from jealousy because of my boujee chicken but I don't want to sell my kidneys.
>>21865925just buy kfc, your fellow caste wont mind.
>>21865927No kfc is not boujee at all
Boujee?I have no idea what this means.
>>21865942Clearly
>>21865942short for bojangles
Cut the chicken down the back and press it down to flatten it. Chop up garlic. Add it to some butter and stir it together with whatever other spices you like. Put this buttter spice garlic compound under the skin and all over the chicken. Roast the chicken until it's done.
>>21865942Bojangles I guess. Dumb zoomer slang.
>>21865955Shieet man it's not that... Boujee is like upper class or sumthn man
>>21866031You have some studying to do. The word “Boujee” as well as “Drangles” both originated from chicken restaurant Bojangles.
>>21866038You are a coon
>>21865951This. Also make some saffron rice or roasted fingerling potatoes to go with it.
>>21866050>saffronCurses, I have to sell a kidney
>>21866040You’re woefully ignorant. You have a lot of research to do. I’m assuming you skipped a lot of school when you were a kid, correct? Your dad used to always call you out on your foolishness?
>>21865942Zoomers just don't know how to spell. He was trying to write bourgeoisie.
>>21865925>boujeeYou've already lost. The only option is to neck it
>>21866057>Zoomers just don't know how to spell.Spelling is a boomer specialty.
>>21866343Yeah they can have fun with they’re spelling bees, I’ll be over here stacking my bread and blowing loud.
>>21865925It's a roast chicken. Salt the skin well and roast it. Use the drippings for gravy with mashed potatoes and whatever vegetable you want
>>21865925I don't think you have the IQ or necessary frontal lobe to make a "boujee" chicken
>>21865942>>21865946>>21865955>>21866031I thought it stood for Bojina - like a bow-legged woman's vagina?>>21865925Cover it in burnt pubic hair and microwave it until the juices run light pink. Serve over a bed of cornflakes wetted with tears and spit.
>>21866491Not sure if jokingIt's what people say when they can't or won't say bourgeoisie or bourgeoisies
>>21865925Roast whole chicken is actually one of the hardest things to get right as a home cook. It's one of those things you have to practice and fuck up a lot before you get good at it. As other anons have said spatchcocking the chicken is one way to make it Bojangles. I'd look up an ATK or Kenji roast chicken video.
>>21866505Whole roast chicken was the first dish I taught my gf to cook because it's so easy it's impossible to fuck up, but looks like it actually took effort. It's the ideal dish to get a retard's confidence up in the kitchen.
>>21866505How? Roast chicken is easy as fuck
>>21866523>>21866605Post recipes. The difficulty with roast chicken is the different parts come to temp at different times. It's hard to get the whole thing tender and juicy with no overcooked white meat.
>>21866613But it do be boujee?
>>21866613Just put it in a glass or ceramic baking dish with a little water in itThe surface area of the pan combined with the direct heat of the water will cook the dark meat faster than the breastPre-heat the oven to 425 and immediately after putting the chicken in the oven turn it down to 375If it's a bigger chicken turn it down to 325 after 20-30 minutesIf it's on the small side turn it down to 325 after 10-15 minutesPull it when the thigh hits about 155 but you don't really need a thermometer if it's looking pretty delicious it's probably doneI mostly only use a thermometer when I'm using a dark glaze or rub and you can't tell by eye
>>21866647Damn this sounds like what I need, getting a box of the good wine to go with this suburbs boujee chicken, thanks cracker
>>21866647How do you avoid a soggy bottom?
>>21866656You don't, but there isn't a lot of back meat that suffers for itThen you can take the chicken water, bones, add some aromatics, and roast it for stockMost people go for the breast anyway, which leaves the rest for chicken salad sandwiches or soup or whatever, you don't want skin in that anyway>>21866651FWIW if you want bougie chicken, keep it simple but make it exotic, like season it with sumac and serve it with lemon zest and grilled lemon halvesOr something like a soy reduction mixed with miso and sugar for a rubOrange zest and anchovy is baller, but you'll need a shitload of oranges (you can serve it with gin and juice I suppose, or whatever the Champagne drink I forg--mimosa, NVM)You don't need, or even want, a bunch of different flavors for fancy foods, you want the foods to stand out by themselvesComplex foods like barbecue and curry are fun but not always fine dining
Oh and I forgot to say, salt it by weight about 1.2-1.3 percent in advance for a dry brine, two hours is adequate at room temp if the chicken is cold, otherwise, like, 4-5 hours in the fridgeA good amount of the salt should go in the cavities
>>21866647>>21866671>>21866676This is a fussy recipe. All the brining and temp changes and the unusual ingredients like miso and sumac and orange zest and anchovies are quite complex for a simple roast chicken. I wouldn't call a recipe like that easy. And if a roast chicken is so easy and impossible to fuck up then why so many steps?
>>21865942It’s Ebonics for ‘bourgeois’ which is why I shan’t be sharing my knowledge or experience with OP.Just look up chicken recipes OP you fag
>>21866702It's a cooking method and recipe suggestions, not a single recipe
>>21866716Well which cooking method and recipe suggestion should OP follow?
>>21866744It's winter. Orange anchovy or miso makes the most sense if trying to be seasonal, savory. With roasted root vegetables or brussel sprouts. Sumac and grilled lemon sounds best, but those are sharp and bright so it's a spring dish.
>>21865942OP clearly means the BUR-GEE-OY-SEE
>>21866613It's called a thermometer
>>21866702There were like 3 steps
>>21865925>boujeeAlright fellas. It's etymologically related to bourgeoisie and blacks created the word because they could neither pronounce nor spell the original. English did it's thing and the word evolved further just to mean - something (trashy) people find fancy. People that use the word unironically are usually black, white trash, etc. >SourceI have a degree in nigadry
>>21865925genuinely just deep fry it fuck what them house niggas think it WILL taste better fried
>>21866352well I hope your bread tower falls over, wasting all those slicesNot sure how it's related but I also hope you get a complaint filed on you for your noisy fellatio
>>21865925coq au vin
>>21865925brine it, bake it, serve with roasted brussels and fondant potatoesez
>>21866818>Oh and I forgot to say, salt it by weight about 1.2-1.3 percent in advance for a dry brine, two hours is adequate at room temp if the chicken is cold, otherwise, like, 4-5 hours in the fridgeA good amount of the salt should go in the cavitiesI just want to roast a chicken not do a science experiment.
>>21868233I understand, but if you measure by weight a few times you'll be able to do it by eye
>>21868233I can't believe you have to do some basic math
>>21868335>hmm let's see carry the quadratic, divide by the derivative... calculate molarity... square the root... If I have to whip out a graphic calculator and chemistry set it's not "basic math"
>>21866057>bourgeoisieIs that some kind of french recipe?
