Find a flaw.
>>21872792my wife said, "if i see a man drinking a martini i instantly think he's gay because that drink looks feminine."
>>21872792I've never had one because I don't like gin, or vodka.I'll take an old fashioned, the truly flawless classic cocktail.
>>21872823Your wife sounds like a cunt, so I'm going to assume you are one as well.
>>21872829No, her lingerie doesn't fit me, she bought me my own
>>21872823it's only gay if you don't look like James Bond
its just a fancy shot of gin with vermouth & an olivewhopee fucking doo
>>21872792It's not a negroni
>>21872829why would she need a dildo?
>>21872845she only likes the daniel craig bond movies.
>>21872853Negronis are almost as unpleasant to drink as a dirty martini.
>>21872792I frequently drink straight liquor and still think a martini is better with close to equal parts vermouth and gin. Been a long time since I made one though
>>21874505You are unpleasant.
>>21872792why is the glass wet/fizzy?
Whenever I drink pure liquor I get gum inflammation the next day
>>21872830>I don't like ginI agree to disagree.>or vodkaWhat's to like?Mind you, I think I put myself off it a little bit. Too many days that included a cheeky vodka shot around lunchtime ended badly.>an old fashioned, the truly flawless classic cocktailHell yeah.
>>21872857lmao>>21874505agreed
it's not a gin and tonic
>>21872792Not enough olives and the fagaroni who made this probably barely used any vermouth. I do my martinis 50/50 and dirty as a london whore with the amount of olive brine I dribble in
>>21874505Dirty martinis are the best martini
>>21874894Actually, that's the espresso martini.
>>21872823kind of weird for a drink that's like 30% ABV, not sweet and mostly made of gin to be femininemaybe it's the glass
>>21872823Fellas, is it gay to drink things?
>>21872823It's good to not be 100% heterosexual or 100% male hobby. I like sports, women in lace and plotless action movies. I also like martinis, an art gallery, vintage fleeces, quilting and a well made cocktail. You shouldn't be a total 1 or total 5 on the Kinsey scale. Learn to appreciate what the gay man and woman already have.
>>21874917Espresso Martinis aren't martinis
>>21874820anything above 1:5 vermouth and you might as well just start ordering cosmopolitans
>>21875084IDK what it is about martinis that causes people to call everything in a martini glass a "something martini"pornstar martini, espresso martini, even saw a "grapefruit martini" once (it was just grapefruit juice with vodka lol)I mean, the moscow mule has a dedicated vessel too, yet I don't see people making unrelated drinks and calling them moscow mules
>>21875365>yet I don't see people making unrelated drinks and calling them moscow muleslucky you
>>21872792Gin.
>>21875365I think it dates back to sex and the city. Martini became a synonym for cocktail.
>>21872823All cocktails are gay. The word alone tells you enough.
>>21872792Water all the way up the glass, but no frost below the wash line (that's a wet glass, not necessarily a cold one). The olives are pitted but not filled with anything - I prefer martinis with citrus, but this seems like a missed opportunity for an interesting flavour to wash in - for instance: almond stuffed green olives (2) in a 4:1 Roku - Dolin dry, or a blue cheese stuffed olive in a 3:1:1 Ungava - Lillet Blanc - Dolin Dry. Also the glass and toothpicks being in focus (except for the hook on the top pick) while the bowl of olives is lightly fuzzy makes me think this might be AI generated.
>>21876665>Also the glass and toothpicks being in focus (except for the hook on the top pick) while the bowl of olives is lightly fuzzy makes me think this might be AI generated.The glass is the center of focus. The olives are further back, where the counter is also dropping out of focus. It's hilarious how AI is making fools of people that are too young to know what actual photography looks like.
>>21876714It's about two toothpics back, well under the rim. If an actual photographer is making martinis in an already wet glass, I'd say the flaw is probably in his ability to make a drink.
>>21874505I hate dirty negronis
>>21872867your wife's gay
>>21874776you disagree that anon dislikes gin? you know him better than himself
>>21872792i serve mime in a rocks glass
>>21875365>>21875375seconded, I see picrel everywhere. Now I have to ask if it's real ginger beer because I don't trust it's legit anymore since it's so fucking overdoneAlso>Irish/Kentucky mule - whiskey>Mexican mule - tequila>London mule - gin>dark n stormy - rum
>>21872792>not filthy>probably disgusting gin rather than superior vodka>Pimento stuffed rather than blue cheese>obviously poured by Michael J FoxGet your shit in order, you sloppy twat
>>21877102I respect a fellow smartass. Have one on me.My shortcut phrasing was simply intended to contrast with how strongly Anon and I agree on Old Fashioneds.>>21878695>poured by Michael J FoxCould still be good, depending on the shake duration
>>21878695>obviously poured by Michael J Foxokay I laughed.
>>21872823Your wife is a retard. Tell her to keep her retarded opinions to herself.
Has anybody found a flaw yet?
>>21872845This fucking fraud drinks shaken vodka martinis, it's practically just a long, ice-cold shot of vodka, fitting for the alcoholic he is.
>>21880659>a long, ice-cold shot of vodkaProblem?
>>21875924This. Gin is the single most overrated alcohol in the world.
>>21872823They're for severe alcoholics to save face. And you upsell yourself at bars for the mixed drink equivalent of sushi. Just have a gin tonic, man.
>>21875081If you know what a fucking "Kinsey scale" is and use it in general conversation, you're 100% gay
>>21872792The olive, vermouth, and weird little tiny glass are all flaws.
>>21880411>file name is "dry martini">the glass is wetdo i get a prize? :3
>>21872792I don't like olives.
>>21881056Like you just did?
I ordered one at Chilis and they wanted me to describe to them exactly how to make a martini
>>21881256I don't believe you.
>>21881286I swear. The "bar tender" had no idea.
>>21875043>30%abvNigga a proper martini starts at 38% and a good one should be over 40%
>>21881289>>21881291Ya but... Like the only question there should be is gin (vermouth) or vodka
>>21875365‘Martini’ comes from Martini & Rossi, the vermouth manufacturers who invented and promoted the classic Martini with its distinctive glass in order to sell more vermouth. The ‘martini glass’ was eventually used to make other cocktails, so the name now applies more to any drink served in a martini glass than it does to a classic martini.
>>21881286I asked for a dirty martini at a Japanese restaurant and the retarded zoomer bartender used fucking soy sauce instead of olive juice.
>>21872792Foh in posh restaurant and get cool with a very famous rock star who comes frequently. Always get a couple of vodka martinis to start. Should I get you a third one?Look H,martinis are like woman breasts,One is not enough,3 is too many..
>>21881907Nice of a famous rock star to patronise a restaurant that hires downies.
>>21880674That would be whiskey actually.
>>21881369>a good [martini] should be over 40%How does one acheive this?
>>21881965Wasn't patronising at all but really funny the way he said it. But feel free to interpret it the way you want.
>>21882140"patronise" as in "be a patron of"but feel free to interpret it the way you want
>>21872792someone put an olive in your 7up.
>>21882202faggot
>>21881051>order gin tonic>get gin soda
I just made a martini with vermouth. It was fucking awful. Now I just have gin. wtf is the point of vermouth? Is there a secret brand of dry vermouth that doesn't suck?
>>21872792I can't, my liege
>>21872823Imagine caring what anon's wife thinks. Also she's a low-class redneck retard. Let me guess, she thinks drinking beer out of a glass is gay too?
>>21881907this is one of those posts where you know the poster has actually had three or more martinis before hitting "post," thus rendering him trustworthy.
>>21882067With 100 proof gin...Homey D Clown is lying to you my man. Vermouth will lower the ABV of the final drink, as will chilling it with ice - and it should be very cold, which means it should be reasonably diluted. You're probably looking more in the 25-30% range for a well stirred, well made martini, and maybe 35% for a glass of cold gin.
>>21885079>>21882067consider:>Everclear martini
>>21872837>>21875081>>21878863>>21875043>>21884802>mfw a bunch of beta co/ck/s get butthurt by the bantz of some anon's wife dabbing on their nancyboy drinklol lmao even
>>21872792Too many olives?>>21872823In the old days, we didn't allow women inside bars.>>21884943kek'd
>>21886242I've considered it. I am confident in my judgment that of all possible worlds, the Everclear Martini exists only in the worst.
>>21875043Most cocktails are seen as effeminate, or something try-hards order trying emulate a writer or a character from the 20's-50's.A Martini is a great way to make gin cold and just watered down enough to have a few of them. Kind of like how Sazeracs and Old Fashioned(s) are great was to brighten up whiskey. I've had friends shit on my dosed Mai Tais - and they are some of the most effeminate looking things to ever touch cooked sand - but then they try one... and then they have a second... and then I usually switch them back to proper mai tais, or something else because these drinks have squeezed some awkward conversations out of some large, experienced drinkers.
