What do u cook when a gurl comes overHard mode: you have extreme ibs and gets very gassy after meal
>>21950661>when a gurl comes over0 replies
I've done pasta with shrimp, chicken with a cream sauce, mussels in wine sauce, maybe Sea Bream with a butter sauce. I don't know what IBS friendly foods are so can't answer that.
>>21950661Some light pasta with a light sauce and grilled chicken with maybe some roasted cherry tomatoes and fresh grated parm, a nice salad with a homemade vinegarette (wine if she wants some) ..some berries and a some good ice cream for dessert
>>21950661I get panera and tell her i made it
>>21950661Strange, I was literally asking myself this a couple hours a go...minus the ibs part.Most likely some type of chicken and pasta. Maybe a cajun Alfredo.
A varied funeral spread because my wife would kill the three of us.
>>21950694Your wife would kill you, the girl and then kill herself?
You have to start with the foods that don't make you gassy. What're those, and maybe we can help you out together an appealing meal
>>21950661>you have extreme ibs and gets very gassy after mealWork your shit out first and then start asking girls to come over. Learn how to eat, shit, wash yourself, and do proper nutrition and you won't have to worry about sudden fart episodes every time you eat something or get nervous.Stop being a bitch.
>>21950696Not really, but that was the premise, yes, but exactly that actually happened next door back when I was a filthy twenty-something renter. My roommates and I heard it from our place, didn't think anything of it and went to sleep. The police and reporters were bashing on our door the next evening as I and my roommates were on our way out to a party and told us what happened and asked what we heard/know and I said "okay so they're dead so if you come tomorrow, they'll still be dead but if we don't leave now, we might miss the party". The investigator wasn't amused.
>>21950664Got his azz!
>>21950698Can u stop being a chud its making me uncomfortable
>>21950771>its making me uncomfortablego outside then and stand next to a creek
I would make something that makes her breath smell and gives her gas, like white bean and fish stew with lots of onion and garlic.
>>21950661how do you watch women eat without just thinking about how theyre gonna poop later
>>21950782This is the answer, OP. If she stinks more than you do, she can't make fun of you for being a gassy little fart boy who can't control his bowels.
>>21950789i actually hate seeing women eat. the worst is seeing fat women eat. i legitimately get a sick feeling in my stomach
>>21950771Stop being a bitch
>>21950661Id probably make lasagna or pan fried chicken and pasta roni with some Parmesan on top
a huge plate of beans and chili tacosand then hotdogs with grilled onions, Sauerkraut, beer and onion ringsthis bitch is gonna fart her asshole out
>>21950661Salad and sandwich/omelette, fruit salad. If I'm having a girl over I've already passed the point where I'm trying to impress her.
Mala hotpot. After I'm done with my meal I'll just fart on my date's face and run out of my house
>>21950661I'd whip her up my famous chilli dogs with jalepeno relish, serve it with some stone cold piss lagers, then line us up some shots. Oh and I'd serve the dogs with some homemade cheese fries
>>21950661Girls fucking love charcuterie boards and you don't even have to cook anything just buy a bunch of shit from the deli and lay it out on a wooden cutting board. The nature of all the stuff being splayed out across a board feeds into the subconscious female berrypicker mindset and she will go crazy hunting and pecking across the board to make a meal for herself and then she will want to be impregnated.
>>21953487This guy fucks
I went out with a girl and I made her food and she didn't tell me until after I made it that she was lactose intolerant and can't eat cheese. We didn't go on a second date because fuck that I'm not mating with a genetic dead end
>>21950661Oats
>>21953503I can’t post it here but I went through a phase where I paid women to throw up on me. So I know where you’re coming from.
>>21953503you do realise humans are meant to be lactose intolerant like every other adult mammal?
>>21950661I have been living at my grandparents house for 5 years. I am 29 years old khhv. I talk to no one except my grandparents, i have no friend, no girlfriend, nothing. I work remotely (it's a well paid IT job) and go to the gym in the evening which is my only outside the house timeI have stopped wearing underwear, the last shirt i got was almost 10 years ago, i have never bought clothes for myself in my life, i only wear clothes that we gifted to me and my mom buys my underwear. I wake up, drink coffee and sit on my work table, work maybe 30 minutes, attend meeting with boss and then... I'm free, i just watch anime, jerk off, chat with AI, play videogames. I daydream about being someone social, with friends and a lover but my eyes just glaze over and i fall asleep
>>21953715not if youre european
>>21950661Depends on what she likes.
>>21950801Oh so you're the reason I have to look away from my girlfriend whenever she takes a bite because she'll have a panic attack otherwise.
>>21950661>you have extreme ibsYou have to rip that bandaid off right away. That is not something you can hide from your wife so theres no point in hiding it from a potential gf.
>>21953807ibs affects women more than men, but when's the last time you ever heard of a woman telling her date up front that they might have to suddenly shit all over the place?
>>21950661eggs! wtf is wrong with this place.
>>21950661baked beans and onions, side of mushrooms and Brussels sprouts.If she can't handle me at my worst, she doesn't deserve me at my best.
>>21950661>What do u cook when a gurl comes overI don't, she fucking cooks. What is this faggot shit?
>>21950789that’s actually the best part. i love knowing that a girl I fed is going to poop something I made out of her
>>21950789>inside every beautiful women, there is a stool forming.I think of this somewhat often
>>21950661i've never had a girl over but if I did I would order doordash with her. i'd be too afraid to give her the ick by cooking in front of her or by preparing the wrong food.hard mode: skip dinner. snacks only.
>>21954658pivot to anorexic girls. they eat once a week so they rarely shit. they're really kind too because of the mental disorders associated with ana
>>21954708Based retard
>>21954708I know a therapist that works with eating disorder folks. One of them threatened to kill herself when my buddy said he'd be out next week for vacation lolKind on the surface can be crazy underneath with something as serious as starving yourself
Wait, Im on hard mode?
>>21950661Just a good quality burg'That way it's not a problem if she's picky, I can just not add it
>>21954916tell her to wear a crappy shirt cause we going to a noodle place.
>>21953725Have you considered doing volunteer work? Good way to meet folks.
>>21953725Sounds comfy. But in all seriousness, embrace Jesus, start going to Church - there's always tonnes of social events etc. A good way to break the ice is to offer help, people will get to know you and you'll get invited for dinners etc etc etc.>>21955135This anon is also correct, charity work is good for this sort of thing also.God speed anon
>>21950676Delightfully devilish
>>21950670It's giving performative male meal
>>21950676Seymour?
>>21950661How do I make the girl extremely gassy?
>>21950661goya chanpuruif she likes goya she's a keeper
>>21950661pasta
>>21955672lmao it's a cat!hi cat!
>>21955672beanscheesesardineseggs
>>21955668You’re giving retarded
>>21955672
>>21953487Damn that's crafty
>>21950661sauteed chicken livers with a honey glaze over browned riceshe either likes organ meat or she can get out of my home
>>21953805>girlfriend is a nutbag>here's why men are to blamesounds like she has you well leashed
>>21950661Nothing, we're ordering out. Fuck that.
I cook her puss with my pp :)
>>21950661Steamed flaky white fish with a beurre blanc, haricot verts and a kick ass bottle of white wine
>>21950670gay
