>Please sir don't take the steam trayPost your best buffets and stories
I bring my own deenz and hide them in the offerings
>>21957261Kek based deenz saboteur
>>21957252At the Chinese restaurant I go to they're always screaming REALLY loud and seem like they're arguing. It could just be "how's that Beijing beef coming" and it just sounds like arguing. I'll open up Google Translate next time to see. Food is great though and lunchtime buffetl is like 10 bucks.
>>21957264Based morbidly obese uneducated eavesdropper
>>21957270The one girl that does most of the screaming looks like she's 25 and is like 5' tall. Sometimes you hear her throwing stuff and she will do this autistic screeching. It's kinda hot.
>>21957275I'm stroking rn hnnng
I vaguely remember some sort of blog a guy wrote about people watching at Old Country Buffet that was a good read. If someone knows what I'm talking about, please post it.Anyway, I don't have any spectacular stories, just the usual. Fat people being fat and disgusting. I once saw an obese child hold his head under the chocolate fountain. No, of course they didn't throw it out and get new chocolate. Yes, other people saw and still ate it.
>>21957264Is it a cantonese restaurant? Cantonese sounds like that.
>>21957264I have three mannered, blonde-haired little picturesque white children. Two boys and a girl. It has softened my racist heart toward the Chinese the way all the girls who work at the buffet fawn over my kids every time we go there, while ignoring or showing visible disgust for the shrieking little brown gremlins others bring in. Children bring people together in a beautiful way. For them, I would permit their little bowl-cut gooklettes into the ethnostate.
>>21957356gayest cringe post of march award congratulations
>>21957359I'm living my life. What are you doing, broke brownie?
>>21957252>Go to Chinese buffet with coworkers>Dimly lit and kinda gross>Whatever>Eat good share of chicken on a stick and crab ragoon. >Cambodian co worker finds bean balls>Fried dough around bean paste>Consumes 10 plates, with 8-10 on a plate>Mad Asian lady tells us we need to leave>Cambodia man eat to many bean balls >Leave without paying>Cop shows up at our work, we're all loss Prevention and know all the cops. >Ask us why we didn't pay>She told us to leave, if we don't that's trespassing >Cop; good enough for me.Got free Chinese because China lady mad Cambodian eat all her bean balls.
>go to indian buffet with my gf>hear it's both a buffet and a sit down restaurant>decide to get menus at our table and order at a restaurant>jeet waiter says "saar what you want to order is in the buffet saar" and gestures me to stand up and go there>explain no i want to have it made like at a sit down restaurant im not paying for the buffet pass i want the dish itself>back and forth a few times until he understandswhat are the chances they made my food fresh instead of getting what was already out on the buffet? wait was a bit on the longer side
Not sure if this counts but when I was in highschool we had a kid who broke both his legs jumping down a flight of stairs while trying to get to the front of the line for mashed potatoes day in the cafeteria.
>>21957366No one wants the dry crusted sides of an almost empty masher tin.
>>21957366How were his bones so brittle? Don't they feed kids plenty of malk?
>>21957359I wholeheartedly agree. What a colossal faggot. I find it loathsome that I have to read such dogshit
>>21957363chinese buffets hate this one simple trick
>>21957252>all you can eat sea food buffet in indian casino>place is full of asians.>no one is really eating much.>suddenly they bring out a cart full of crab legs.>They load up the table and all hell breaks loose.>chinks swarm the table taking 2, 3, 5 lbs of crab legs scuttling off and horking it down. fucking bloody hell!
>>21957365>go to indian restaurant>get seated>open menu>baby roaches fall outNOPE!.gif
>>21957252>Eating at chinese buffet>Fat old dude walks in with his morbidly obese wife and sits in the table next to me>They each bring back four plates of food each and slam it all in 10 minutes>Goes back and grabs a single plate with like four shrimp on it>Goes to eat one and then says "UGH THIS FUCKING SHRIMP IS COLD I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS SHIT!" and begins storming out while loudly yelling at the staff >"THIS PLACE FUCKING SUCKS THIS HAPPENS EVERY TIME I COME HERE FUCK YOU FUCK YOUR SHITTY FOOD" etc>Has to stand and argue with 4'6 chinese teenager managing the front desk to give his morbidly obese wife time to waddle out>Continues screaming out into the parking lot as every employee chases after himThat was the last time I went to a buffet, I think it was back in like 2018 or something like that. Before that I went to Golden Corral of the first time and the food was probably the worst food I have ever eaten. Literally below cafeteria-tier. I was on the verge of shitting myself and sweating bullets the entire way home just holding it in. Never again.
>>21957342Why all the Golden Corral hate? Golden Corral is honestly better than a fucking movie.I have a friend named Bruce. Bruce looks to be some kind of honest-to-God pirate at first glance, and I mean Captain Jack Sparrow's crew pirate, and the ornery, mean old fucking pirate you'd never, ever want to mess with because he'd bite your God-damned nose off and eat it. He's also wildly into K-pop, choreographs his own dance routines to it, and in the last year or two has started just basically eating like a Korean, which apparently means shitloads of vegetables and cabbage. Anyway, Bruce goes to Golden Corral like 2x a week, which I thought was kind of strange due to his new health kick, so finally I asked him about it."Dude," he said. "Golden Corral has a shitload of vegetables, and their cabbage is great. But you're missing the point. You don't go to Golden Corral just for the food. It's fucking dinner theater."And you know what? He's right. For $12 you can sit and watch some of the most hilarious, downright hellishly gluttonous behavior you will see outside the Plane of Fat in the Demonic Abyss. I went with him one time and laughed so hard at some of the shit on display that now I go with him about once a month, get a big plate of steak and another big plate of salad, stake out a spot where you can see most of the buffets (and oh for fucking sure the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL) and just observe the kind of unbelievably self-indulgent (and self-destructive) shit that would make a European or Southeast Asian's person head explode off their shoulders in horror and make someone with a "sick sad world" sense of humor laugh their ass off.Someone, say, like me.
>>21957483For example, the very first time I went with Bruce I was witness to "the recon." This is a real thing, and what I am about to describe is not an isolated incident, no sirree. Humongously fat people will literally go scout the buffet. Now, I think we all do this to some extent at a buffet, in the "Hmm, what do they have to eat here?" glance-while-walking-to-the-table sense, but this is done with military precision, people. I've watched with my own eyes three people, all of whom were 300 lbs+, meet briefly and talk, then split up and go to the buffets, carefully eyeballing each selection, lips moving, fingers pointing, as if cataloging the unearthly delights that await them, then fucking meeting back up in the same place to discuss what they saw and plan an attack. I'm serious. They were like 10 feet away."Guys it looks like the fried chicken tonight is coming out pretty fast, pretty sure that stuff's going to be good, but the rotisserie is just kind of hanging out. Pulled pork was kind of crusty but I think if we dug down a bit there's good stuff there. There was a bit of a crust on the edge of the brown gravy and someone dropped some fucking broccoli in it but the white gravy's looking fine. Outside of that, hot bar A looks good. And of course the bourbon chicken looks good as always.""Fantastic. Well, the guy cooking the steaks told me they are busting open a new box in about 20 minutes, so we should probably lay off that until then. I noticed there was a lot of bacon in the green beans right now so that should probably be one of our first stops. The mac and cheese tonight also looks fucking delicious, it's got a nice crust unlike that bullshit last week when it was practically yellow water, so we need to move on that. It looks like they recently changed out the taco stuff, especially the nacho cheese, it looks brand new, so, take that for what it's worth."
>>21957484"Well I've got bad news guys, from what I could see it looks like tonight's a no chocolate cake night, they only have that fucking one that has those fake cherries on top, and we all know how that fucks things up.">groans all around"But it's not that big a deal because they just put out rice krispies with chocolate coating and the girl said they've got tons of them. They've also got those sugar cookies and some fudge brownies that look all right, and all the other pie shit they usually have.""OK, so green beans, fried chicken, the mac and cheese, the white gravy, those are tonight's superstars. Let's go."I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. I expected a fucking Wonder Twin powers-esque ring bump at this point, but instead they just all fled to a plate dispenser and began loading the fuck out of their plates. It really reminds me of nothing so much as when people like, discuss what's going on with their favorite sports teams. Except with food.This is also when I first experienced the phenomenon of the "multiplate."Now, your average person will take a plate to the buffet, fill it with food, and go back to their table and eat. But, you see, that person understands that when they are done eating, if they want more, there will be more food available at that time. But the multiplater wants to hedge its bets. What if, between that first and second trip to the buffet, the restaurant suddenly ran completely the fuck out of food? Like, not even mints by the cash register or gum in the quarter machines? WHAT THEN? Your deliciousness per second (DPS... sorry) will go down!
>>21957252Best buffet video ever filmed. It builds.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2eSo-ADdt8
>>21957485It doesn't bear thinking about. Now it's unlikely, gentlemen, but not impossible, so as we are smart consumers, we're going to guard against the possibility. So let's each go get three complete plates of food and come back to the table.Now I'm not talking a meal plate and a salad plate, as I mentioned before I myself do that every time I go to watch this... whatever the fuck it is, Theater of the Grotesque, I guess. But just imagine for a moment going up to the buffet and getting a plate loaded down with actual fucking rib-sticking food. 3-4 chicken wings and legs, a big-ass helping of mac and cheese, some mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, two corns on the cob, and a yeast roll or two, then taking it back to your table. Time to eat, right? WRONG. DIPSHIT. WHAT IF THEY RUN OUT OF FOOD WHILE YOU ARE EATING YOU GOD-DAMNED NINNY? WHAT ABOUT YOUR DPS?So you just set this completely full plate down and go get another one, and again you just completely fill the fuck out of it with food. A couple of steaks, a pile of pulled pork, a rice mountain topped with sugary chicken (MOUNT BOURBON), and a couple of smoked sausages with nacho cheese on them, then you take that back to your table.You now have enough food at your table, JUST ON YOUR PLATES, to feed an entire platoon of ten year-olds who have been playing all day. Time to sit down and pig the fuck out. WRONG. DIPSHIT. WHAT IF THEY RUN OUT OF FOOD NOW? YOU'VE ONLY GOT LITERALLY TEN OR FIFTEEN THOUSAND CALORIES ON YOUR PLATE, YOU'RE PRACTICALLY GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH. IF YOU DON'T KEEP YOUR DPS UP WE'LL HAVE TO KICK YOU OUT OF THE GUILD DUDE.So again you set your second completely full plate down and go back AGAIN. I dunno what the fuck you get this time, since you already have basically everything they serve, but on one multiplate I watched a dude walk(?) to the salad bar and create the following salad:
>>21957488 giant ladle of blue cheese dressing directly onto the plate Multiple giant scoops of shredded cheese on top of this Multiple giant scoops of those weird ham cube-bits on top of this Multiple giant scoops of bacon bits on top of this Multiple giant scoops of boiled egg crumbles on top of this An enormous pile of croutons A giant scoop of mushrooms (I think this "made it healthy" because mushrooms are like a fish or something and fish is negative calorie superfood?) 2 giant ladles of blue cheese dressing on topJust think about that for a fucking minute. OK, frankly, it sounds pretty delicious, but holy shit how horrid does something like that have to be for you? Imagine trying to shit that out a few hours down the line. But now you have your third plate, and so now you can at least quiet the yammering fear that you won't get to eat everything in the entire God-damned place before it closes down for the night, and at last you can finally start to eat.Again, this is not fantasy. I've watched this multiple times. I've seen a woman so fat she had to use a walker to move sit by herself at a 4-person table and completely cover the surface of it with plates of food before she started eating, and she cleaned every last one of them. It has the same uneasy, somehow alien fascination of seeing a car wreck, or a really fucked-up porn where the chick is wearing spider prosthetics and hissing all the fucking time. You're like, am I really supposed to be entertained by this? I kind of feel bad, and sort of weird, but... I mean, just fucking look at it. It's brutal, unchained nihilism unfettered from any concept of moderation or shame or self-preservation and frankly it's kind of fascinating watching someone deliberately say "Fuck any sort of a comfortable life, WHERE IS THE THOUSAND ISLAND CONTAINER?"
>>21957490So what I'm trying to say is, Golden Corral really is cheap dinner theater, and believe it or not you can actually eat there without consuming ten thousand+ calories if you just eat a steak strip or two and some salad or potatoes or something.Oh, and did I mention the Chocolate Wonderfall? Well, frankly, if you dare to use that fucking thing I salute you, because it wouldn't surprise me to find a live octopus in it. This is already too long for a dumb post about obsessive fatties at Golden Corral, but if I get a chance later I might type up some of the shit I've seen people do with that thing.BTW as a disclaimer I'm a 220-lb dude (6'2" though so I don't look too monstrous) who has spent his whole life losing and then gaining weight. I know it's extremely tough to do, and it's REALLY tough to keep doing and maintain it, but there's a big difference between "I'm overweight, try my best, run 4 times a week, and occasionally overindulge in an entire tub of scoop n' eat cheesecake filling" and sticking your face to the fucking ears into the Chocolate Wonderfall and sucking like Cygnus X-1 till security gets there with the the bullropes.I hope someone liked reading that as much as I liked writing it.
>>21957491you didn't write any of this.
>people taking entire jugs of juice from the buffet to their table because they're too lazy to get up from their seat for refills>old farts fondling every bread roll to find the softest one>kids eating straight out of the trays/bowls because their parents don't give a single fuck>retards messing around with the electric cheffing dish either turning it all the way down or turning it up to max heat
>>21957504Holy fuck, no shit. I am surprised you actually solved the Captcha.
>>21957356thank you for Whitely procreatinggood job bud
>>21957491careful with that pasta, its an antique
>go to casino buffet>shit faced>fill two plates full of mini deserts>trip and drop deserts on ground>stumble trying to get up>stay on ground>eat deserts until someone helps me up
>>21957526I'm pretty sure it's AI generated
>>21957541Nah, that was an effort post long before AI. It's been around for 10 but maybe 15 years now.
>go to chinese buffet>asian waitress brings one glass of water to my table then stands there 30 feet from me staring at me>I just stare back the whole time as I eat, down 2 plates of food and ask for the check>get the check>she taps her finger on the receipt when she brings it back>says "tip go here" in broken english>give her the big 0 on that line>she picks it up, "ohhhhh, no tip for me?" and starts ranting in some language I can't understand a word of>just get up and leaveI haven't been to a chinese buffet since covid forced all the good ones out of business in my area. Whole thing felt like a scene from a bad comedy movie.
>>21957550damn, sorry op for doubting you.
>>21957264it was chinesed owned but not a buffet/standard chinese food, i worked for a place where the three other guys were always yelling from the back and a table a day would ask what's going on
>>21957360>wears a watch>thinks he's white
>>21957556I've had the same experience. Its comical they expect a tip when they just tell you sit wherever and bring you a drink. I had a cop friend do a burglary alarm call on a local Chinese buffet and told me all the food was still out. She said she marked food with a sharpie and called the health department. Next day 11am opening health inspector walks in and found the food with the sharpie marks. Never reopened. And to think I ate there once too.
>>21957366We would do 100m sprints down the hall on chicken patty Wednesday so his enthusiasm is understandable.
>>21957447A decent amount of the Buffets I been too make you pay upfront to avoid this.
>>21957491Been on /ck/ for 10 years now and have never seen this pasta. Its one of those rare ones.
>>21957491>"Fuck any sort of a comfortable life, WHERE IS THE THOUSAND ISLAND CONTAINER?"I can't, my sides
>>21957264>that fat fuck AGAIN!?>>AGAIN!>baby Junchihn he eats like the pigs!
>>21957616You really think it's not white people who buy most of the watches? What an idiot.
>>21957356>>21957520Fuck your blog. You ruined the thread. Buzz Killington.
>>21957621Honestly I'll tip 15-20% even if they barely do anything as long as my experience was at least neutral with them, I'm a slave to social expectation. I don't expect the red carpet at a chinese buffet, I'm reasonable. But it was like real open coldness, hostility, and entitlement so yeah she can suck a fat one.
>>21957365If it took longer they probably took it from the batch of food they were preparing to refill the buffer
>>21957431I saw a white guy almost start fighting people over not getting enough crab legs at a buffet. Looked like a chubby ryan gosling dressed for the golf course.He was yelling at the workers that they let just anybody take it all and would not leave the area until they brought more crab out and he could certainly get some
>>21958288>Looked like a chubby ryan gosling dressed for the golf course.kek
>>21958288Can someone please explain to me the appeal of crab legs at a buffet>Inb4 get your moneys worth, high ticket item so onThe actual process of eating fucking crablegs is so invasive and messy for a small amount of meat that isn't even that flavorful. Like if they had an option for some guy to crack them open for me so I didn't have to start working in the prep kitchen mid feast then maybe I'd eat them more but I just focus on the other big ticket things like fish, prime rib and good solid sides.
>>21958306I think they're supposed to taste good? They taste mediocre to my palette.
>>21958307I've had them multiple times and share your same sentiment. Its not bad persay but the effort of eating them is too much. I love oysters but my love of them would be greatly dimished if they brought them to the table and said shuck them yourself.
>>21958306Agreed. I love crab legs desu but at a buffet setting it feels like too much effort. I'm there because I'm too lazy to cook that day and really hungry. I'll make crab legs at home and take my time. I also won't overcook them Also no potential have to fight a Ryan gosling wannabe or a swarm of Asians
>it's another episode of anon wants to beat the buffet but gets full on his 3rd plate again
>>21957252i never take rice or bread or potatoes, just meats and vegetables, with orange juice as the drink
>>21958306How high or low ticket an item is matters to me not a single bit at buffets, I feel like people trying to eat until the owners lose money are playing the wrong sort of game, like they're trying to weaponize their appetite instead of just enjoying the foods they like the most. I'm all for that fake krab meat that comes simmered in stuff but I'd never bother with actual crab legs. Not at all worth the effort and I say that as someone who enjoys cracking crab legs and getting the bits inside.
>>21957264>they're always screaming REALLY loud and seem like they're arguingThats just some Chinese dialects. I used to go to a Chinese joint all the time and would listen to the workers talking to each other and thought they were all angry and mad at each other all the time. But then I realized they were not angry, it just the way the language works with inflection.
>>21957491>>21957490>>21957488>>21957485>>21957484>>21957483Based ancient pasta posterI would post it myself but I am not at my computerA classic
>>21957541Fuck me, I hate that I have to worry about this now when anons postThat copypasta was 100% legit, unfortunately I think they are a dying artform
>>21958648Yeah, despite seeing most pastas and using this site for years I now just glaze over any large body of text and assume it's AI. Shame really.
>>21958705>see oddball greentext story, assume it's AI>see silly unlikely video of two animals teaming up, assume it's AI>see uncanny food preparation, assume it's AINot even wrong to do so, grim times we live in, but the more you learn to create yourself the more you can ensure is human through the work of your own hands. Reason enough alone to cook and improve.
>>21957550thirteen years, last time I saw it mu was still on helios
Part 2:OK, so, as promised, the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL.That's right, a non-stop flowing river of chocolate decadence.I have no idea how it's legal to have this thing. At first glance it's like, "Yeah, that's kind of cool, looks tasty," but then on further reflection you begin to think of terms like "vector" and "transmission" and "patient zero" and start to reconsider. They don't let restaurants serve food "family style" (big bowls and serving spoons in a common dish on the table) and this seems like family style on steroids. I dunno.Bruce told me about the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL one night on the way to GC. "Dude, they have like this chocolate river thing now, you'll see.""Is it good?""No, dude. No. Just watch."Now, they have a person who stands in the dessert section who is supposed to, I guess, guard the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL? But they are not always there, and occasionally disappear into the back of the restaurant to do whatever it is that is done back there. This is as effective as any guard who is randomly gone. But in case user 'goldencorral' is in this thread, I will say that every gross/unsanitary thing I've seen regarding the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL has taken place when this person, who I will call Deputy Sweeto, was gone.The way people are actually supposed to engage with the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL: take a piece of something that would be good with chocolate, stick it on a skewer, stick it under the chocolate, you are done. Put it on a plate so it doesn't drop all over the place, go back to your seat, eat, enjoy, go home. Fifty return trips to the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL optional, but necessary.
>>21958734So here are some things I've seen people do with the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL. Note that the real threat to the integrity of the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL is not adults, who although they may do disgusting and unhealthy things to it (such as using, say, actual fucking fudge as the material to be chocolate-covered) most of them are conscientious enough to not be unsanitary.Oh, but unattended children, they Do. Not. Give. A. Fuck. And believe me, at GC there's going to be some unattended children, because mommy and daddy are trying to get their DPS up people, and paying attention to their precious living things might result in someone else getting more of the mac and cheese crust covering by delaying their second multiplate.Chocolate chicken leg: This is what I saw the first time I went there and just before the only time I contemplated chocolating something up. Just as I was about to get up, I watched a little kid, probably about 6-7 years old, walk up to the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL and stick a fried chicken leg in it.Now, frankly, this is fucking hilarious. Just really think for a minute about seeing this, the little dude just staggering over to the chocolate and plunging a fried chicken leg into it. There's no question at this point that little bits of fried batter are getting knocked off by the power of the WONDERFALL and merging with the chocolate, and I know there's nothing I'd like better on a strawberry than some soggy, chocolate-infused fried chicken coating. So already Bruce and I are laughing so fucking hard we're practically injuring ourselves, but this gets better. After thoroughly chocolating this chicken leg, the kid yanks it out from under the WONDERFALL, makes no attempt to put a plate under it or anything, and turns and walks away from the thing, trailing the chicken leg at his side like a caveman's club.
>>21958735Well, it is dripping chocolate. Not a lot, but some, and no one is paying attention to it, so people are walking through this liquid chocolate and just smearing it all over the place and making a hellish, God-awful mess. Admittedly, it's just around that dessert section, which is tile, but still. Little dude walks back to his table, looks at the chicken leg with some consternation, and then just throws it under the table on the floor.I've seen a dude take a plate of bourbon chicken (which, to the uninitiated, is basically chicken bits in a brown fructose sauce... but okay, it's delicious too), walk over to the CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL, and use a spoon to completely cover his already-soaked-in-fucking-sugary-solution chicken pieces in milk chocolate. Ol' Deputy Sweeto was there for this one, but didn't say anything because, well, what the guy was doing wasn't unsanitary or harming the fountain or anything, it was just, you know, gross beyond belief at the cellular level. As he walked away Deputy Sweeto caught me staring. We locked eyes across the restaurant, shared a brief look of "What have we seen? Others have not...", and then went about our normal business, strangers connected by a shared glimpse into the Maw of Chicken Madness.Dude took his chocolate bourbon chicken over to the buffet, put a little rice on the side, and went and ate the whole fucking thing. Frankly I was tempted to go get a chunk or two of bourbon chicken and do the same thing myself just to see what the fuck that could possibly taste like and why someone would eat a plate of it, but then I realized that I will at some point want to look at myself in the mirror and feel proud of my life as a human being and so I didn't.
>>21958737CHOCOLATE WONDERSPRAY: Occasionally you will get someone who is not satisfied with a single layer of chocolate on their treat, and they will stand for a moment and let the chocolate on their tastybit harden a smidge and put some more chocolate on it. OK so by occasionally I mean "almost everyone does this." I don't consider this horrid gluttony unless you're up there for fucking five minutes and walk away with a chocolate baseball on a stick (but yes, I've seen people stand up there and do that for literally five minutes before, I think they are mainly just trying to drip as much chocolate as possible onto the plate they hold beneath it, "Whoops, now I guess I have to eat all this too, mustn't waste!"). But this little girl takes the cake for that shit. If standing there and maybe gently blowing on your chocolate-covered tastybit allows more chocolate, then you know what would be better?Blow on it like you're Superman putting out the fucking Towering Inferno, that's what!The little girl dunks her krispie, pulls it out, and proceeds to blow on it like Superman put- you get it. Well, this results in little chocolate drops being blown all over the fucking place. The sheer violence of the blowing is also denuding her little treat of chocolate, so she sticks it in again and does the same thing, with the same results. So again. And again. At this point the area near her is beginning to resemble something that has seen the touch of several shotgun shells full of chocolate birdshot. At last her mother saw what she was doing and came and got her, and then, in an unusual and heartening twist, called for Deputy Sweeto and tried to help clean up. Your average mom at GC would have grabbed her child, looked around anxiously, and then slunk away. So high five, moral and responsible mom!
>>21958739What the fuck are you doing OH NAW DUDE DUDE NAW CHRIST: Short and sweet and horrible. Man gets soup bowl. Man walks to CHOCOLATE WONDERFALL, fills soup bowl 3/4 full. Puts rice krispie on top. Walks back to table, crushes rice krispie with spoon, begins eating pure liquid chocolate with minor crunchy bits, and I lose faith in the future of the world.
>>21958705I try to give worthy looking posts a read but it is getting more difficult to discern what is AI. Because even though it's more rare there are still hilarious stories posted around this site. >>21958712Based advice, anon.
>>21957264is that not the real reason you go to eat there ? I dont like going because its not loud and fast paced enough. the only groups that do so are mexicans and you cant hear them speak because theyre playing loud ass music tldr cantonese people are based as duck
Never been to a buffet
>>21959707It's not worth the hype that some fat people give it, but it's also not worth the hate that some skinny people give it. Lots of mediocre food with some things that will be good to you if you keep trying stuff. For most of the population it is effectively all you can eat.
>>21957556>30 feet from me staring at meso she was on the other side of the restaurant staring at you? have you tried not being fat and ugly?
>>21958306>Like if they had an option for some guy to crack them open for mewhen we were at one, this woman with us decided she was the resident crab meat picker and wanted to crack open the crab for everyone. my wife did not like that idea, and in fact likes the process of breaking open the crab legs and getting the meat out.I personally think crab meat is fishy and nasty.
>>21957264never ever seen this. not once.
>>21957365not making people at a buffet pay first is a rookie error
>>21958735>unattended childrenit was really common in grocery stores to have a giant uncovered bin of beans, rice, and other things. when I was a kid we loved running our hands through these. our filthy nose picking butt scratching just got the flu hands.enjoy!
>>21959736>30 feet as the length of the restaurantMaybe if it was a hole in the wall sort of place but this place wasn't.>if you didn't tip a rude entitled waitress you must be fat and uglyAngry wait staff detected. Amidst the clicks and whistles of her home tongue I recognized "gweilo" as she angrily shouted at me for not tipping so it was likely an issue with my being white. It didn't get her any extra money from me.
>>21959754the whole thing didn't happen.
>>21959767>don't tip rude chinese waitress>she insults you in chineseA truly incredible tale
>>21958385this, with a hot beverage because it helps with digestion and helps me beat the restaurant since I can eat more food
>>21959738Ngl that woman sounds based. Who wouldn't want a resident crab meat picker.
>>21959892I wouldn't want to owe such a high social debt to someone so I would need to do her a similar favor of some kind, or the whole relationship would feel out of balance.
>>21957533Sounds like you got your just desserts.
>>21959782and didn't happen.
>>21957360I kneel burgergod...
>>21960067The only thing that didn't happen is it not happening, that much is clear.
Huge fan of the Sirloin stockade. Haven't been in some years but they always maintained a small but high quality buffet and the salad bar was criminally underrated. Steaks were ordered seperate from the Buffet but they did cook a pretty good steak.
>>21957252I live in Brisbane. There used to be a buffet called Top Chef here. They had to close because fat islanders were putting them out of business. One time I watched one of them literally take an entire pig back to their table. They "politely" left a single leg for everyone else, though.
>>21957360Not too long with that deathfatness
>>21960678This place is great and I'm not a buffet person.
>>21960691>Fat islandersThe purest example of an oxymoron.t. NZFag.
>>21957487Doesn't seem so bad...It builds. Huh, thanks for sharing anon. Also, those poor kids. Ahhh. Woah... That escalated quickly.
I want a quality buffet that is more than just Asian food, like golden corral but good.>go to golden corral once>all the food sucks>see guy cooking baby back ribs>ask for a fresh rack>they were pretty goodI want to be able to try a little bit of everything. Going to a buffet and eating the same thing over and over beats the point of having so many choices. All near me are golden corral tier.
When I was about 8 I was at the Pizza Hut dessert bar, loading up on ice cream with all the trimmings, when I was confronted with an entire table, adults and kids, laughing and joking about my generously proportioned dessert and heavy physique.Sometimes I still think about those people. Wtf was their problem?
>>21961054>beats the pointThe point is being able to eat as much as you want of whatever you want, however many or few choices that is. Unless you're one of those retards who walks in trying to "beat the buffet" and makes a point to eat shit that isn't even their favorite choices just to feel like they cost the place more money than they paid.
>>21957360Does that watch ever come off?
>>21961054If you go to a good Golden Corral that has good management and staff the food can be great. I typically stick with chicken and beef and then maybe make a side salad.>>21961127
>>21961136It would be extremely painful
>>21957252I go to a cheap Chinese place that's in between a closed Sports Authority and a Goodwill that all the local bums camp out in front ofI like to take the chop sticks in the bathroom stalls with me and tease my asshole>>21957360those pimply legs look like a couple of tubby earthworms
>>21961161It's a big wrist
>>21961179For you
Brother used to work at a place in a tourist trap town in north Michigan. Used to see a lot of elderly and retirees.They would have breakfast and lunch buffet specials. Always swarmed by the old people because it was right on a highway and cheap.Loads of stories about "the crazy lady with the huge purse full of gallon ziploc bags". Best was some hamplanet in a mob-scooter who tried to take an entire joint of roast beef, trying to stuff it in a backpack sized purse she'd lined with foil tape. Everyone is going "lady what the fuck?" and she's howling about how "ITS A BUFFET I CAN TAKE WHAT I WANNNT!". He said they had to call the Sheriff to haul her fat ass to jail.
>>21961220We really need to find a way to bring back societal shame.
>>21957360Thanks to ai I can never trust pictures like this again
One time I was at a Cici's and some tiny Asian lady took the brownie try from the buffet back to her table and started obliterating it. IDK if she ever finished it, I left first.>>21960678I only ever went to one SS, I remember the broccoli being gray and sitting near some old ladies talking about health issues. One of them mentioned lancing a growth and having a bunch of horrid stinky liquid flow out. Not a great dining experience.
>Go to Mexican Restaurant with a friend>It is a sit-down restaurant but you can have as many tacos/chips/drinks as you want in a 2 hour time frame>During covid so bars weren't open but restaurants were>Just did legs with bro earlier and super hungry/thirsty>Order pretty much a new round of tacos every time waiter comes with our previous order>Tacos are pretty big and there's 2 of them for every order, so 4 tacos for every 2x>Waiter is stressed and is giving us free tequila when the kitchen is having trouble keeping up>We get reciept>We get to see the communication from the waiter to the kitchen>"Yes this is new, they are HUNGRY!"Pretty proud moment ngl, got our money's worth that day.
cool
>>21961472Such an American post.
>>21961131Being able to eat as much as you want is certainly a plus but to me the appeal is having so many choices, to be able to try new things or eat something I love but in smaller quantities that do not justify buying ingredients and cooking at home or ordering at a restaurant. I do not understand how somebody can eat 3 pounds of shrimp and not get tired.
>>21961472I'm so confused. So what is the rate for the all you can eat special and why the fuck did they include alcohol in it too?
>>21961595The waiter was comping the liquor. Places did that during the coof to try and stay open.
>>21961595>what is the rate for the all you can eat special2 AYC Tacos = $250$250 / 2 = $125>why the fuck did they include alcoholAYC beer & cocktails are separately itemized on the receipt.
>>21961616So I feel fucking crazy because for all you can eat tacos and its $125 dollars seems ludicrous.
>>21957491thanks for sharing anon
>>21961472Holy shit those prices are fucking retarded. What's that shithole called?
>>21961492>>21961595>>21961607>>21961616The "Moms" at the bottom of the receipt and no tip should have given it away. It was 798 DKK / 2, so around 60 USD per person (no tip given lmao).
>a black/dark skin in food preparation post antebellum SouthWas this a frightening premonition to come? I've seen it a few times the last few years.
>>21961740>"Moms"What the fuck does that mean in this context? Is that what you call your sales tax? And no I will not google it
>>21961763https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value-added_tax
>>21957252the last time i went a buffet was 2011 with my mom and dad and my mom was suffering from dementia and i went to the bathroom and my dad went to get food and my mom got up and walked out into the middle of the street it was the fucking scariest thing that happened to me I cried for hours after we found her because of the guilt I had from failing her
>>21957366>mashed potatoes dayDo Irish-Americans really?
>>21961763Yes it is VAT and "Moms"is the sound of the government eating their share of your food.
>>21961925that's not why it's called "moms", but i prefer this explanation
>>21958648>>21957541I'm too old for this shit.
>>21961807Aww I’m sorry OP. Don’t be too hard on yourself, aging parents are a huge adjustment to deal with.
>>21962069oh that was years ago she's passed since then i was like 19 at the time.
>>21962074That’s pretty young, sounds toughHope you’re doing well though!
Don't think i've been to a buffet in over 20 years, but when I was a chubby little kid we went to one once and I learned that drinking enormous quantities of (chocolate) milk could make you puke. Unlimited chocolate milk tho.
>>21957356No joke the Asian girls in restaurants are always enamored with my White kids like more than White people are. Doesn't matter where we go, China Buffet, hibachi, takeout, sushi places etc. They always get these huge smiles and just obsess over my kids and try to make them smile. Funny thing now the you mention it I've NEVER seen them give the same treatment to brown kids. I love those racist hard working motherfuckers.
>>21961935Don't ruin a good story with facts.
>>21961231your tax rate should go up by 1% for every 1 point of BMI above normal
>>21958311>persayper se
