Saw some complaints in a recent thread that there isn't enough OC on this board so I figured in the spirit of the holiday I would make a foolish dip from my childhood. It's foolish because one bowl is probably a weeks worth of sodium. You can feel your heart pounding after you eat this stuff but it's so good. First a pic of what all is going in, two kinds of Velveeta. I fucked up meant to try half cream cheese half Velveeta per a recommendation from a fellow /ck/ anon but forgot so instead we have what we have. Can't go wrong with Velveeta though it's the best melting cheese. I've never tried it with two kinds mixed so I'm looking forward to seeing the results.
>>21959200>dip-a-long
>>21959207Trust me when it all comes together it will be worth it. This is a staple of southern parties. Maybe not good enough for faint hearted coastals but I can't please everyone.First off we're caramelizing the onion. I've never added onion let alone a caramelized one to this before so I figured why not try something new. No salt added, I know it's a trick used to speed up the process but this thing already has way too much sodium just from the cheese and little smokeys so any way I can reduce it helps to balance it out. That also explains the no salt Rotel and low salt chips. I'm frustrated there was a new brand of chip that I saw at the grocery a month or so ago. It was insanely light and airy just tons of air bubbles. Would have been incredible with this dip but today it was gone so I had to settle.
Going to take a bit for the onions to caramelize so in the mean time here's a pic of a salad I made the other day. Nothing extravagant, just some random lettuce, bunch of sliced up cherry tomatoes, some cubed pepper jack cheese and a bunch of shredded chicken. Ranch dressing of course because I'm a fat southern fuck. It really wasn't that much Ranch, maybe half to 3/4 of a cup for a huge bowl. Also a mixed a little cholula in with the chicken, some diced pickles and banana peppers. Wasn't bad for a bunch of cheap ingredients. Certainly no fancy salad with your fancy vinaigrettes but for my one meal of the day it hit the spot.
>>21959254Anyone else making anything interesting today? Or just seen any good april fools jokes in real life or online? I feel like apirl fools isn't as celebrated as it used to be. Used to be you would see pranks all over the place and most companies would play along and make something up but I've barely seen much today. Guess we just aren't in a fun having mood these days.
Onions are caramelized, not quite as dark as I usually like them but gotta move things along. Sorry I'm not very interesting I guess I'm not good at making these kind of threads.
Chopped up the smokeys, when my mom made this dip she would just throw them whole and raw into the crock pot but I never really liked that approach. I feel like it's too difficult to get a good ratio of cheese and sausage on a chip and you end up with a lot of dip at the end with non. Also browning them in the pan for a bit want to get a little color on them and sweat out some of the grease.
>>21959200Gonna need some hot peppers OP
>>21959325You're right, I usually get the hot habanero rotel to spice it up but went for the no salt this time and forgot I needed something spicy. Added some Cholula and half a jar of medium spicy salsa instead since I had on me. It's not going to be super hot but I'm not a massive spice head so it should be good enough for me.
>>21959200I've stayed in for several days and haven't bought anything since sometime last week, don't remember when.have 6 yoghurts, 6 mushrooms, an apple, a gracefruit and a head of broccoli left in the fridge. haven't eaten or drunk anything today.the day before I ate crackers because I had run out of bread.
>>21959331Why haven't you gotten out in a while? Maybe try dicing up the apple and grapefruit and mixing it with the yoghurt. If you have some soy sauce or other spices you could make a stir fry with the mushrooms and broccoli.
>>21959333>chekt tripzdon't feel like doing anything, just been sleeping through the days, becoming less and less interested in food
>>21959269>most companies would play along and make something up but I've barely seen much today.good. I'm tired of seeing businesses act like theyre human. it should be illegal for businesses to post on social media.
>>21959335That's ok, easy way to stay thin. Just don't give up forever. Maybe try to make a habit of making one nice meal a week. I'm sure there has to be some foods you still enjoy eating.
>>21959200Pretty countertopeDecent sounding dipe>>21959220Good stove (coils get hotter than gas, and inductions are goyslop)But the synthetic plastic has GOT TO GO
>>21959338plastic isnt synthetic, it comes from oil. oil is organic.
>>21959335You have depressionGet more sunshineGrow some plants (this actually helps a lot; it's a human and plant relationship we've built for 10,000 years)Get tea in bulk it helps you drink less sweet shitGet rice n frozen salmone in bulk, then get sparaguse when you need
>>21959338>But the synthetic plastic has GOT TO GOAre you talking about the spatula? I agree wooden or metal is better but they were a gift from my mom so I use them anyways. Everything is in the pot, it looks terrible now but trust me it will come together. I started it a little while ago so it won't take as long as it should to show the rest.
>>21959343The spatula but mostly the pan
>>21959349Well I'm 43, something is probably going to get me in the next 20 years anyways. At this point a few teflon shavings in me can't do much more harm than the dip is going to do.
>>21959335I get this way when the weather fluctuates in the spring/fall. Hopefully you’ll feel better when the suns shining some more and there’s not a 20 degree change
It's coming along nicely, here's a surprise ingredient I didn't mention before. Every cheese dip needs a healthy amount of milk. Otherwise it gets too thick and you can't properly dip. Thankfully one of the few blessings of living in flyover country is having easy access to good quality milk. Two or three cups thins it out to just the right consistency while also making it a little less rich so you don't feel sick after just a few bites.
>>21959365It looks horrible, the cold milk makes the cheese seize up but trust it's going to be fabulous soon.
>>21959369Forgot to mention, you can turn it on high for the first 20 minutes or so to get things melting. But after that you really need to let this stuff cook on low. It's far too risky and it will scorch and curdle. It also just tastes better the longer you let it go low and slow.
>>21959369I can’t wait to taste it!
>>21959369What a tremendous volume of garbage. Cooking for a party or something? Are you gathering your worst enemies in one place to poison them all at once?
>>21959373It's finally done, the consistency came out just right. But the next day when you reheat it you will probably need to add some more milk.
>>21959391It's good, having some friends over tomorrow and it works good reheating it so I wanted to get it out of the way. Snuck a little bit for myself tonight. It's just the right amount of heat, not too much that you can't taste the dip but enough to tingle the tastebuds. Thanks for putting up with me /ck/, sorry I'm not as interesting as some of the regular oc makers but I appreciate the interest. Hope you all have a good night.
>>21959402Nice thread cheeseslopbro. Would lick/10
>>21959402Thanks for the thread, have a good night yourself
>>21959200You're missing BBQ sauce for the smokies. I always eat these alongside mac and cheese as it goes well, but nachos have the cheeze too. But U need the BBQ
>>21959432You're right, BBQ smokies are awesome as well. But this time I wanted to do the classic recipe my mom made. I've never tried the bbq and grape jelly trick before though, I've heard it's good. Maybe I'll try that for the 4th of july.
>>21959200How about I dip my cock in your asshole?
>>21959200Thank you, OPWe do need more OC on hereBut the incel poor assholes make negative comments when they can't cook for shit
>>21959402mmm yummy yum yum mmm delicioso
>>21959402Nice thread Op. Looks tasty, gonna try this. My family does something similar with velveeta, ground beef and salsa.
