>cooking in the middle of the night>trigger fire alarm
>cook steak>it's underdone >by the time I've heated the pan up and cooked the steak my potato and vegies are cold
>>21973535>making quesadilla>tortilla sticks to pan when I try to flip it>quesadilla opens when I get it unstuck, spills its contents all over the pan, turning everything into a burnt messThat was almost enough to make me give up on cooking permanently
>>21973535Passed out making a Jacks pizza once. Girlfriend woke me up screaming. I was sleeping on the kitchen floor. Pizza looked like a hockey puck and the house was full of smoke.
>Wanted a legit grilled burger a few weeks ago>Got the charcoal going>Go back in until the fire dies down and the charcoal ashes over>Fall asleep in recliner>Wake up to ice cold grill>No more charcoalI didn't even have the gumption to drive half an hour to get more. I just had a bowl of cereal
>pour melted butter instead of softened into recipe with raw eggs >it slightly cooks the eggs and now everything tastes eggy
>>21973582Kek, I did this with microwavable burritos.
>>21973610classic
>>21973582Reminds me of when I got drunk making chicken stock, passed out and it burned. My roommate's gf sampled some before it burned and said it was the best stock ever, but she didn't think to shut it off.
>be a kid>home alone with older brother>parents super strict>don't let us use the stove to cook anything while they're out of the house>we were also not allowed to play videogames unless we asked first>devilpepe.jpg>brother says he's gonna cook some food>i'm in the room playing the ps1>hear the key turn in the front door>PANICMODE.EXE>i panic and don't even turn the game off, i just run into my parents room...then run back into our room, then run back into my parents room because i don't know what the fuck to do>brother gets caught because he's in the kitchen making pancakes>mom yells at us and we get in trouble>sends us to our room>ask my brother what he did with the pancakes>says he threw them under the couch>bust out laughing>get in even more trouble when my mom hears us laughing
>>21973610The heat of the butter cooks the egg.
>>21973582My ex-wife used this in divorce court. Although I was passed out on the couch. Nobody gave a shit because I'm half deaf and my oven timer was really quiet.
>piece of shit fire alarm goes off all the time, for no fucking reason, even though there's fucking nothing cooking>I know it's not a gas leak because I'm not dead yet, nor have I lost enough IQ points>replace the batteries with brand new ones>still the same shit >just removed the batteries altogether>bliss
>>21973535are you literally every week in my uni dorm? I stg people would trigger the fire alarm at like 2am the day before exams just to fuck with me
>>21973582I did this one time when I was frying eggs and sausage while blacked out.
>>21973751Your parents sound like dumb cunts>>21973563I feel you>>21973582I feel asleep making Mac n cheeseAll the water was gone and it was just blackened noodles, had to throw the pot out>>21973535Melty cheese getting on things I can't eat it off of
>draining pot of pasta using pot lid>some pasta falls out in the sink>disappointed by my failure>still do the same thing next time>>21973584>tfw no grilled burger, no charcoal, and no gumption
>>21973535*Failures. Not 'fails'. Fucking retard zoomers of the internet age.
>>21975056epic fail of a post
>>21975056
Why does her skin look like thatWhy does her hair look like thatNorthern europeans look so odd
>>21975079>256x256>.png???
>>21976648how fucking old are you, grandpa
>>21975056congratulations on waking up from your coma
>>21975331demons when they encounter beauty:
>>21973535>making mac and cheese while drunk>pass out>wake up to smoke alarmthis has happened more than twice
>>21975033Bottom of a plate instead of the heavy and awkward lid my guy. Your life is now changed forever.
