What's the shittiest meal you've ever made?
Pork bought half-price on its expiration date cooked in Taste Of Thai curry paste. Smelled like fish. Half of it was unpleasantly chewy. I got the flu right after eating it, which I don't think was food poisoning, but it sure felt like it.
>>22001542My first attempt making ramen from sccratch. TL;DR a puddle of ramen noodles swimming with pieces of overcooked white fish.
>>22001542I made ragu with bacon and edamame spaghetti and it was inedible.
>>22001542I tried this grocery bought container of pre sliced ribs. They weren’t arranged line how ribs were normally arranged, they were all piled together. Most of them were 80 percent bone. Tiny slivers of meat on most of them. If they weren’t mostly bone, they were full on bone.
Burnt the rabbit stew
>>22001542When I was drunk I attempted to make carbonara for the first time. What I ended up with was a clumpy egg slurry. I scarfed it down and got up to vomit around 2am.
Never cooked anything majorly shitty, but the worst food disaster I've ever experienced was when i was like 10 and ny dad and i went to get mcdonalds slop. As we pulled in the driveway it started to fucking piss rain and we had shitty paper mcdonalds bags. We rushed out of the car and both our bags instant ripped apart in the rain before our hands could get under them and all our food washed into the gutter.
>>22001542Made hashbrowns, had to take my mom to the er
my first time making pizza
Pork and orange metamucil meatballs
>>22001609My first ever pizza was the best pizza I've ever made. I got cocky after that.To answer OP's question, I tried to make a homemade burger by pushing steak through one of those mincing machines. It squeezed all the juice out, and my homemade burger was grey and dry and looked like a brain. I was annoyed, because I was trying to make everything from scratch and I baked the bun myself as well, and the bun was delicious.
>>22001619>Orange metamucil But why?
>>22001657I was incredibly sick and weak, was trying to make nutrient dense, easy, food. I thought I could take a short cut on fiber by adding metamucil> Didn't think the orange flavor would be so fucking prominent> Didn't think the texture would be so fucking spongeyGenuinely the worst thing I've ever put in my mouth. This thread reminded me to throw them away finally, kek
Probably one night when I was drunk cooking. Made rice-chicken-tuna-frozenveggies thing. Had just bought piri piri and didn't know how to use it, just put the peppers in there. Result: otherwise good and mild but some forkfuls had this overwhelmingly aggressive heat from the piripiri peppers which basically ruined the whole thing. I googled and now know how to use that stuff lol.
>>22001542Made doughnuts once but the yeast was bad so they didn't puff up at all. Ended up with dough clumps which were burnt on the outside and raw on the inside
>>22001542>thought I had most of the stuff to make burritos nice so I only bought wraps and meat>I was wrong, no cheese, no tomato, no capsicum, no onion, didn't even have lettuce or spinach>I had mayo + white rice + meat that my spice mix drained off the meat into the fat/waterI made something that black people would use as a fictional example of how white people cook.
>>22001542Andy Sixx Logs of shit
>>22001542Once had to use dried mushrooms for mushroom soup but forgot to soak them out so the entire pot was filled with bits of sand. There was no saving it.
>>22001591Story time?
I tried to make an oven panko coated chicken it was a total disaster, the egg mix hydrated the panko crumbs and they didn't bake but somehow burned at the same time, I put it on convection with the air on thinking it would help but it was really bad, I don't think anyone ITT can post something that looks that bad, and I fancy myself good at cooking. The chicken tasted boiled inside, disgusting texture, after I tasted it i just picked the chicken out and made chicken soup.
>>22002072I should have just fried it like I have done before.
>>22001542What'd you do to the poor bird?
>>22001542
>>22002119it's a dog dawg
>>22001542Tried to make steak au poivre, but the cognac didn't ignite properly, and I simultaneously burnt the outside of the steaks while having them raw in the middle. The "peppercorn sauce" was completely inedible. Not sure what went wrong because I did the same recipe the week prior and it turned out great.
>>22001542You burned it, retard!
>>22001542I've made a few stinkers over the years but two that come to mind:Golden curry but I added a heap of nutmeg to it for some reason, I hadn't really used it before and it completely totaled the curry.Also recently: I share house and the stove was being used so I cooked a steak in the oven with some veges. What came out was essentially inedible, grey, shitty tasting,textually horrid. A total waste of life.desu I've fucked up heaps of things over the years but I just consider it part of the learning process. I used to have a house mate who "wanted to learn to cook" but was deathly afraid of the disappointment that comes with fucking up a meal so they never graduated from boiling pasta and putting a jar of sauce over it.
>>22001542I made an Everything Soup with whatever bullshit I had leftover prior to making a grocery run and at the end of it I added a bunch of Quinoa and when it cooled it became this congealed green brick. Literal slop. It looked like some kind of pea mash with chunks of cabbage and sausage strewn about. It'd have been fine if I didn't add the Quinoa; the flavor became chalky.
>>22001542Anything a white person made. Too much mayo, not enough seasoning
>>22001542chicken cacciatore. dumped a MASSIVE thing of self-serve olives and their brine into the pot. entire thing tasted of olive brine and nothing else
>>22003639>not enough seasoningI've seen you guys add seasoning and you add way too fucking much
>>22001542Back during college I had some extra overtime and made a really good paycheck, so I figured I'd go out and buy some fancy food. One place I stopped was a specialty cheese shop. The fucking scumbag there sold me some expensive provolone that he claimed was especially good.When I got it home I noticed it smelled fucking awful. I figured I'd at least try it since I paid so much for this crap. When I tasted it it burned my mouth, like a chemical burn, from whatever bacteria were used to make it. It also tasted awful. Then the real problems hit when it worked its way through my digestive system -- assblasting diarrhea out the other end.I finally threw it away. Fuck that guy, I'm sure he knew that shit was toxic as fuck.>>22001567Rabbits are frens not foods.
>>22003863> bacteria used to make itDude, it was rancid. Provolone is mild, i would bet my entire years salary it wasn’t supposed to taste like that and the kid was just an idiot for selling rancid cheese
>>22001542I once tried my hand at making cha shao bao from scratch. It was pretty decent for a first attempt looking back but the dough was much too thick and I couldn't get the filling right. Was still a fun cooking experiment. I also always seem to get sick when cooking a full oven chicken so I stopped doing that entirely.
>>22004078 And most recently it would probably be burned caramelized onions I left on the stove for too long.
>>22001542Was broke. Cabbage soup. Was basically boiled cabbage in water with salt.
>>22004097sounds cleansing
>left over frozen carrots>left over handful of frozen peas>boil water, add left over loose gravy granualswas OK, not great.
Idk probably burnt spam and dry white rice.
>>22001545My man if meat smells bad it's gonna make you feel bad
>>22001542These disgusting burger patties my mom made when I was very little. I can still conjure the taste in my mouth. She added cheese to them which is completely fine, but the cheese itself wasn't. She has always had the habit of cutting away the moldy part if a block of cheese is old and has grown some. She grew up very poor and doesn't want to waste anything. I guess she either didn't cut it off very well or the cheese was far gone. The patties tasted absolutely rancid and vaguely of blue cheese and I liked blue cheese even as a kid. My mom insisted they were fine. I think that was the first time I started to question my parents as all-knowing beings, because she's usually a very good cook but somehow she thought these things were edible. Also it made me never cut around moldy cheese and instead just throw it away.
>>22001542when i was like 12 and wanted to make instant soup and accidentally boiled the water until it all evaporated from the potor when i wanted to make stew for the first time and forgot about the tomatoes (they were supposed to go in first) and also about the condiments... my mom yelled at me that day but my sister insisted that it actually tasted good, it made me feel a little better
>>22001542Tried to make a soup out of rice, beans and frozen chicken pieces in a crock pot. The result was that the rice and beans were still kind of hard and the chickenet off this fatty stuff that floated around in it.
>>22004781Yeah when you see mold on your food it's time for it to go, there's mycelium or whatever that you can't see but spreads through it.
>>22004781>I think that was the first time I started to question my parents as all-knowing beingsMade me lol out loud x)
>be me>11 years old>mom is on drugs, she lost our house>live in a motel>she goes out to party on NYE>alone in the motel room>I'm so hungry I cant stand it anymore>I boil veggie noodles from the food bank and eat with tomato paste>didnt know how to cook at all, didnt even salt it>choked the entire thing down until my stomach was full and I could finally sleep
