They got Bruce going up against the whole ass Ars Goetia. What in the hell is Joker supposed to behttps://x.com/Ssnyder1835/status/1969070541031018698
>>150449396This shit isn’t fair at all.
>>150449396WTF happened to the Joker? Did Bane punch him or something?
You can stop reading capeshit at any time. The power is in your hands.
Better than the old Joker. Again.
>>150449801Kinda disappointed
>>150449396I bet it's just going to be a joker toxin thug, with the reveal that the venom project was a precursor to it's development.
>>150449396>they literally made Joker molochThe youth adrenachrome harvesting from babies was a bit on the nose as it was but this takes the cake. Pretty based politically for the comics to go down this path.
>>150449396I wanna say this is just a metaphor for how evil Joker is supposed to be, but this book is goofy enough for him being a literal demonic monster not being too surprising
>>150449396>Black Mask is elevated from a minor crime boss and a retard into the owner of a massive PMC with direct ties to the Illuminati>Mr. Freeze is a fucking Wendigo>Bane is 20 feet tall>Joker ate so many babies he turned into a dragonWhat the fuck is Batman supposed to do to this
>>150449396
>>150450237>What the fuck is Batman supposed to do to thisLearn magic by fucking Zatanna and then team up with JonCon and Dr. Fate to exorcise Gotham and the world.
>>150449396IIRC Absolute Batman was heavily influenced by stuff Snyder's kids were reading and playing that they got him intoI think Berserk was one of them
>>150450237Lift more and get even bigger, brah
>>150449396This reminds me of what they did to Green Goblin in Ultimate
>>150450237>What the fuck is Batman supposed to do to thisLearn some tricks from Absolute Tibetan monks
>>150450399I guess they started reading Venom
>>150449396We live in an absolute society.
>>150450237I'm convinced this version of Gothan takes place in literal Hell. Look what happened to Killer Croc, man.
>>150449396But does he live in a society
>>150450761The universe was made by Darkseid, so...
>>150450777Society made him this way
>>150449396They gave him the Ultimate Green Goblin treatment
>>150449396I fucking love this comic. It is a nice blend of Metal Gear and Resident Evil.
>>150449396This is what happens when you don’t rape your villains
>>150449396How the hell am I supposed to put bottom text on a creature like this?
>>150449396Now I want to see what Absolute Harley Quinn will look like.
My favorite Absolute redesign has been Wonder Woman. Her armor is actually pretty badass and cool
>>150450805she's probably going to look like the fucking smile entity wearing a jester outfit.
>>150450805I may guess she'll be some kind of hyena hellhound or something.
>>150450779He's just returning the favour for making him endure this
>>150449396I don't like how pretty much all villains are connected in this and were created by the Joker
I mean, it's a Joker that lives in an universe influenced by Darkseid of all people, of course it's going to be something grotesque
Non zero chance Joker is just an actual demon this time around right? Would even have continuity with Diana
>>150450866Yeah the way they're almost all being pumped out of Ark M like a monster factory feels like something out of a power rangers show
>>150450866hey now, penguin was “created” by bane
>>150450805>>150450839>>150450850All I know is that it is going to be messed up. I wouldn't be surprised if Harley was given something like the women seen with Joker. She might even be one of them.
>>150450904Who was created by Joker in turn and works for him.
So Batman AF will permanently have venom-enhanced abilities too right
>>150450004Nice
So does Bane completely fuck up Batman's life because he wants to make Batman like him so that he can retire with Batman as his successor working under the Joker?
>>150450936Yeah it's part of his body now.
>>150449396If this what he looks like, then I can't wait to see how fucked up Clayface would look like, which he may looked something like pic related.
>>150450960He wants to make Batman do the full procedure like himI dunno why he particularly cares. Must be gay
>>150449396Does this mean Harley is a Sexy Clown Succubus? Please say yes
>>150449801He's meant to be a gargoyle However the path from literal immobile zombie to this still needs to be shown and explained Also it's fitting considering Batman is Catholic that his villains should be demons
>>150450960Not sure if he wants Batman to replace him, but yeah the plan was to make him go through the full Baneification process.
>>150450237Beat their asses
>>150450972He watched Austin Powers once and really wants his own Mini-Me
>>150450973>Inb4 Harley is a child
>>150449396Surely Batman's no kill rule wouldn't apply here right
>>150451002Lmao
>>150451015If you kill Moloch Joker then you’d be just as bad as he is
>>150450970Didn't we already see Clayface?
What did Bruce do to piss off Darkseid this badly
>>150451015Batman would need to go for a kill to even have a chance
>>150450779>>150450761>>150450984>Darkseid's gamble with Batman is seeing how much it takes he prays to God for guidance, knowing God will tell Bruce to kill
>>150451015Bruce already killed Black Mask and maimed a bunch of his goons. He better kill off Joker.
>>150451067This is survivable frankly
>>150451067Joker came back from being a corpse, your point is kind of futile
>>150450401he's a frauder with the venom stuff still in him
>>150451067We can't be sure whether or not Batman stabbed Black Mask's eye sockets non-fatally here
>>150451037>What did Bruce do to piss off Darkseid this badly
I haven't read batman in years but is this run really just "broke as fuck batman has to fight straight up analog horror silent hill tier versions of his villains"?
>>150451131no
>>150451131Yeh it’s basedWW is hot too
we need to blow up gotham
>>150451131Yeah but the "Batman being broke" thing isn't being handled in a convincing way, it's fun in a dumb way though
>>150451131Nah. The "working class version of Batman" conceit was abandoned pretty much straight away. Yeah his dad was a teacher instead of a billionaire but he still has all kinds of gadgets, batmobiles including one that's basically an entire driveable building, and high-tech hideouts all over the city.
>>150450824She is pretty much the exact same character like regular Wonder Woman though. It's the least different absolute title.
>>150451152>>150451180Aw damn, well I guess it'd be too similar to punisher if they made him too believably broke.How fucked up does it get?
>>150449396I am enjoying the absolute versions of Batman's rogues gallery. Professor Pyg and his dollotrons are going to be right at home in this universe.
>>150451148They really got batman fighting endermen?
Just when you think Snyder's writing couldn't get any dumber, he somehow manages to "exceed" all expectations. I hate it.
>>150451191Yeah but she's actually doing cool shit and fighting monsters instead of someone trying to flex their Gender Studies degree for the upteeth time or whatever the goddamn fuck Tom King is doing
>>150449396I don't like how much Batman jobs. He needs another win. He has done nothing but get his ass beat the last couple of issues. Give me Batgod.
>>150451262>How fucked up does it get?We haven't seen the full extent of how bad things can get, but Bane (who is a 20 foot mountain of muscle in this universe) literally punched Bruce's friends into the shape of his classic villains. No, that doesn't make sense. But it's what happened. Bane also cut off Bruce's arms and legs and smashed his skull with the bat symbol, but that was more like a dream sequence.
>>150450976>it's fitting considering Batman is Catholiche is?That doesn't really work. Bruce Wayne is an Old Money WASP.He could be High Church Episcopal, but that is just Catholicism with the serial number filed off
>>150451277Professor pyg is already scary. Is his absolute variation going to looks like a fucking pig themed cenobite?
>>150449396Absolutely fucking dumb
>>150450960No. He does want Batman to become like him, but not so he can retire. He wants Batman to join Joker's gang like he did, so they can "transform" Gotham the way they transformed Santa Prisca.
>>150451325It's his legs being fused at the knees tht gets me the worst
>>150449396>Big Batman's enemy is Big JokerIt makes sense but it's still hilarious.
>>150449396>>150450004I see Scott Snyder has been doing his homework on Satanic conspiracy theories with the rich. Now I want to see how the Court of Owls will be like in this universe.
>>150451325Bro...
>>150451457Given current trend they will be a cult of moloch worshiping were-owls
>>150451325What did he do to make bane that mad?
>>150451457>>150451471>Batman infiltrates Bohemian Grove run by the Court of OwlsI would read that.
>>150451502He put lifts in his shoes to appear taller.
>>150451191Darkseid hates her the least out of the trio plus she is also divine so she gets god points that means she's having a pretty good time all things considered. Meanwhile Bruce and Clark are getting bullied more and more every month
>>150450237Cut their hands off.
>>150451545If batman's this fucked what the hell is superman going through?
>>150451531
>>150450805She's gonna be Bruce's mom, and it's gonna be brutal.
>>150450805I want to see Absolute Gagsworth.
>>150449396I think this is just artist interpretation because he’s framed as a joker card
>>150450237Beat the shit outta them
>>150451130Making it canon that Darkseid’s doing this for killing him with the Radion bullet would make up for all the stupid bullshit retcons Snyder has done throughout his career.
>>150451502Bane wanted Bruce to become just like him, which means Bruce needs to voluntarily submit to the Joker because Bane himself voluntarily submitted to the Joker as well. Since he couldn't "break" Bruce directly, he decided to fuck with him by going after his friends. And yes, as >>150451531 says Bane mutilated Penguin in order to mock him for wanting to be "big." He also burned exactly 50% of Two-Face's body because he felt like Harvey was trying to live two lives, i.e. be a respectable lawyer while also being friends with low-lives and criminals, and he punched Riddler in the brain until he developed autism.
>>150451569Last I recall he was strapped into a chair while Brainiac beamed nonstop murder scenarios involving all his family, friends, and enemies into his brain. All this to rewire Superman into a compliant murder machine for Ra's al Ghul who is some immortal ultra elite controlling the world from behind the scenes.
I guess it makes sense why Bruce wouldnt kill his friends as villains but if black mask was supposed to be a "non lethal eye stabbing" I dont see how Bruce would justify to himself not murdering bane after this.
>>150451325Wtf
>>150451569>>150451704It's kinda crazy that Wonder Woman seems happier in the absolute universe than a lot of her more traditional versions. It seems like nothing phases her.
>>150451675True
>>150451740That's because you can't mistreat a woman these days, even in a fictional story.
>>150451740She has a big advantage in that she grew up in hell. Even taking into account that Circe was somehow a better mother than her actual mother in many continuities, everything is going to look lik an improvement if you spent your formative years in the literal worst place imaginable.
>>150451279>Goes immediately to MinecraftIt's clearly referencing a Wendigo
Absolute Godzilla. Remember guys, this is technically Elseworlds.
>>150451833>Absolute Godzilla
>>150451842Thanks I hate it.
This isn’t the first time Snyder’s done something like this
>>150449396>snyder>not being a hack 0% speedrun
>>150450805like this and Joker will birth her in his image
>>150449396Joker culo
>>150450237Absolute Venom gives him total control over his muscle cells and the ability to retain infinite information
>>150451325What the fuck did Bane do to him
>>150452022He beat him so hard it rearranged his skeleton without damaging any of his internal organs.
>>150451602>Gaggy around Absolute Joker like it is Fantasy IslandYes
>>150451716>I dont see how Bruce would justify to himself not murdering bane after thisHe just probably can't do it, lol.
>>150449396Violator...this book really is just Batman as a early 90's Image comic.
>>150449790Isn't that the entire point of the Absolute universe? Hope being the underdog and yadda yadda yadda?
>>150451740The Amazons are worse off in this universe, since they're literally all dead barring like maybe a handful you can count on your fingers like the ones in the labyrinth, but just like Superman being the Last Son of Krypton doesn't stop him from being a happy and well adjusted adult thanks to the Kents, Diana being the Last Amazon doesn't make her an edgelord because Circe worked overtime to be mother of the century raising Diana with love and care despite living in literal Hell.
>>150451277>I am enjoying the absolute versions of Batman's rogues gallery.I think they need to have Bane keep smacking the goofy into them. That's the funniest way they could've done it.
>>150451886Cool
>>150452065Kek
>>150452910That's not even a joke. That is almost literally the exact words the comic says.
>>150449396Guessing Snyder's being quite literal with the Joker Pale Man thing from his Batman Endgame this time around.
>>150450237Learn the art of double jumping from his half Brazilian ex girlfriend
>>150451325>>150451682I fucking hate this tryhard bullshit.
>>150449396I want to like this, I really do.But even if the design is cool, the joker paint over makes him look really fucking silly, like those cheap plastic toys I would find around shaddy markets.
>>150453150 paint.it's not paintthat;s skin
>>150453179It's a drawing, it's painted.If we put it in a black and white filter, it looks almost intimidating, but with the joker colors on, it just looks stupid.
>>150450779Is this actually a thing? I've only kept up with Absolute Batman and Manhunter.
>>150450237Don't worry, he'll have prep time to deal with them
>>150453243Yeah
>>150453243Darkseid showed up for a panel in MM
>>150453235yeah, but then how will people recognize it as Joker still?
>>150451262He’s not exactly “Broke.” He’s specifically working class, in the sense that he actually works for his money. While his job is high end construction/engineering, it’s still paycheck to paycheck.I think he also builds a lot of his stuff out of melted scrap metal.Not only that but he actually recycles a lot of his resources because it takes him too long to reliably forge or build new equipment.I also think it’s heavily implied he flat out stole the Batmobile. Logically? I think he took a decommissioned dump truck and rebuilt itHe also probably steals a lot of shit like gas.
>>150449801Snyder has implied that Absolute Joker is an immortal half human/half demon abomination that requires constant blood transfusions to keep a human form and is based on what Snyder desperately wanted to do in his New 52 run via Endgame but was barred from doing, which was to wholesale retcon Joker as an immortal demon.
>>150453600So he basically wanted to turn the Joker into the Violater from the Spawn comics???
>>150451037Darkseid is the one person Bruce will break his "no kill" rule for and Darkseid only just recently recovered from Bruce shooting him, since he shattered Darkseid into multiple variants of himself in the multiverse
I would’ve preferred this over the dump truck. Seems a bit more believable for him to steal and modify it
>>150450779Why is Darkseid an edgelord weeb, why does he want the DCU to be a mix of shitty grunge art and Dragon Ball Z, why the fuck would Darkseid think this is a good idea
>>150453726Darkseid has literally always been a petty asshole with a flair for the dramatic. Darkseid reading Berserk and going "oh man, I'm gonna make Batman WISH he only had to deal with Griffith" isn't any sillier than the last 55 years of his comics history. This is the dude who put his rival's hostage exchange son through a sadistic death trap obstacle course orphanage run by a woman named Granny Goodness. This is the dude who breaks into people's houses with intergalactic Mother Box boom tube teleportation just to lounge in their favorite armchair reading Mein Kamph. Darkseid is a lot of things but he has never been stoic, pragmatic, or emotionless. He is literally a moustache twirling villain and proud of it
>>150450004A true Molech statue for sacrifice has outstretched hands to place the child to burn.
>>150453150Whatever happened to that Greg Smallwood Batman the Barberian comic they announced last year?
>>150453726>why does he want the DCU to be a mix of shitty grunge art and Dragon Ball Z, why the fuck would Darkseid think this is a good ideahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYWbatgKN4g
>>150453726Darkseid is an edgelord shitposter, always has been
>>150453723>Bat-KilldozerLETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>150449396Welcome back Ultimate Green Goblin.
>>150450761>>150450779>>150453243Yes read this.https://batcave.biz/reader/33045/233578
>>150453726Midlife Crisis The current DC storyline that birthed the Absolute Universe line, is Darkseid realizing he is forever destined to lose against Earth's heroes and so he tricked Superman to "kill" him, so he could turn into energy and fuck off to a new parallel Earth that he can corrupt and he's basically treating Earth's heroes the way America Fererra treated her kid's Barbie dolls, to cope with the fact that he's a loser and will always be a loser
>>150454751>Darkseid going to a /co/ Bad-Anon. trying to cope with the fact that he'll always lose to the heroes.
>>150453600>>150453639Man really wants to prove himself as the Absolute Snyder
>>150454891>>150454751Darkseid is a metaphor to Snyder and his need to make dark Berserk shit to prove himself that he still got it.
>>150449396>>150451886I used to have a profile on Twitter way back when Snyder was writing Zero Year I think, I used to be a huge fan since Court of Owls and I found this leaked cover where the Zero Year suit was revealed, he kindly asked me delete the tweet because spoilers, so I did and he followed me back and sent me some unreleased preview as a "reward" which was pretty neat.One day I retweeted this fanart and it was the first and only time he QRT'd me, saying he enjoyed the hell out of this take on Batman and Joker. Now, I don't know if this art was solely responsible for all the imagery he's provided for these characters over the years, but if so I kinda feel like 0,5% responsible for that and it makes me giggle sometimes.
I love the idea that Darkseid made Absolute Batman's life a living hell specifically as payback from Batman shooting him with the Radon bullet in Final Crisis..
>>150454751>>150454934We discussed this whole Darkseid situation in previous Absolute DC thread and here's the thing, all Absolute characters are far better than their regular versions. Bruce is so OP he got more than regular Batman had from nothing, also his mom is alive. Now he finally started the whole via crucis but still we know Batman will win so what's the point? "oh he lost his friends" oh fuck those freaks everybody knew they would turn like that.
>>150452155>Joker cums from the sheer silliness of this man.
>>150454972Kek, I bet this was just another one in his "the Joker is the Devil" folder, but you never know with those guys. An old friend of mine is a bonafide sperg and he had such encounters, he once said he wanted Dan Slott dead in a forum and Slott posted there too, he got really mad, asked to have him removed, found his twitter and sent a lot of messages saying he was going to tell his parents. The admins got a hold of the situation and told Slott to fuck off, they had a good laugh but told my friend to pipe down. Still, my sperg of a friend didn't learned his lesson and started shit talking another writer, I can't remember who but it was a DC guy. He said something that hit a nerve and this guy sent messages to him for FOUR YEARS, it went like>year 1: what did you said to me you little shit?>year 2: what, no answer you little shit?>year 3: hey, still mute? Not so tough hmmm?>year 4: still nothing?He would show us the messages and we could not stop laughing while he went "shit shit shit what if this guy sues me? But still I'm on the right he should die or at least stop writting, everything he does is shit I would tell the judge that". Guy was such a figure, but it's really dumb how comic writers in general have huge, touchy egos.
>>150455334>Kek, I bet this was just another one in his "the Joker is the Devil" folderYeah, could totally be the case, I just find it funny when I think about it in retrospect.Dan Slott had a lot of my friends blocked back in the day and we weren't even making fun of him, just pointing out why his main book at the time didn't really work because X and Y. I don't know how people like this stay in the industry for so long, can't take any criticism at all after decades writing the most popular characters in the world.
>>150454379Like, I can imagine him giving it an extended cockpit, making it faster, and so on
how strong would absolute batkek be
>>150450237Aura farm his way into success
>>150451842>Implying it wouldn't be the Stan Winston design
>>150449396I think we're past the point of rape working now
>>150457086I think Absolute Joker is the one who is going to rape Gordon. That's a fucking demon right there.
Im surprised no one has mentioned BANE BRUTALISING ALL OF BATMAN'S FRIENDS INTO MONSTROSITIES
>Spare the others. I am ready.
>>150453578There is a flashback sequence to when he was with Selina, before Batman, and they are having sex on a bed full of cash. I bet next issue we are going to find out that they were both cat thieves together for a while but then Bruce had a Simba from the Lion King moment where he remembered who he is and decided to ditch the bitch and fight crime or something
WaitHow old is Bruce in this universe?
>>15045742624, literally guts
>>150457462>Robin will be this universe's Griffith
>>150449396Maybe he can just outsource him to Clark?
>>150449396If this is what the joker looks like in the absolute universe then I am frightened by what could be the appearance of professor pyg and scarecrow
>>150453600Tynion did a better job of that via his Endgame backup stories where a handful of low-level lunatics from Arkham each had a separate origin story that included some messed-up version of the Joker visiting them at their lowest and giving them that final push towards madness
>>150457462>24 years old and dealing with eldritch abominations
>>150457489Clark is busy with Brainiac and Ra's al Ghul. The title of the next issue he is going to be fighting in Smallville.
>>150451457Reminder Elon Musk is a LARPing fruit and only does this evil satanic aesthetic to pretend HE'S the Paypal mafia-borne antichrist when in reality it's his gay pal Peter Thiel (who is doing a lecture run trying to convince people he totally isn't).
>>150451131Yes and the normies love it. Multiple videos have already been made talking about how Scott Snyder clearly doesn't get the Batman mythos or intentionally discards it but I think people don't realize in a sense that's what people want, a new beginning with major differences and hard action and edge to sell.
>>150455072>write yourself out of creation>break the infinite loop of defeat>become sole master of an entire universe>carefully manipulate events so that this one guy, on a specific planet, during a specific timespan has the worst life possible>make a silent cameo on a different comic book>refuse to elaborate>disappear forever
>>150451592This
>>150453038>This whomps!
>>150453578It's a fucking BelAZ You don't just steal one
>>150458647Batman does.
>>150450905I saw someone suggest that it could be a brainwashed version of Martha Wayne.
>>150451592Holy fuck that's horrific. I love it
It's incredible how much Scott Snyder made me 180 on Absolute Bats>He's working class but can still take on a paramilitary organization who destabilizes nations? God he's too overpowered>6 or so issues later>I stand corrected. Fucking hell Bruce, you need all the help you can get with this shit
>>150457413Bruce probably made a lot of his money from more illicit means like theft.Also he canonically used the stock market
>>150451067He didn't kill him
>>150449396>>150454399What if they kissed...?
Absolute Robin will be Mary Grayson
nigga wanted to write spawn but didn't have the rights
>>150450805Unchanged in contrast to what passes as a male clown in this universe.
>>150450237Don't forget Poison Ivy is this.
>>150459682That's not her, anon
>>150457582Why the fuck does he look melted?
>>150451842So fallout chameleon
Absolute Gordon's 10 ft wide junk should tame it.
>>150460079>Absolute Joker is a 10ft tall gargoyle monster with a micropenis>Absolute Gordon is a guy with dwarfism that drags along a 10ft cockAbsolute pottery
>>150451339He might reshape his own face to look exactly like a pig or maybe graph an actual pig to his face
>>150451339He'll be a completely normal veterinarian who ends up saving Bruce's life after he crashes into his office
>>150449396Jesus christ, Absolute Scarecrow and Absolute Solomon Grundy are going end up being ultra crazy and fucked up.
>>150449396so absolute batman version of everything is just big dumb monster>absolute bane is bane... IF HE WAS BIGGERER>absolute croc is.... A BIGERER CROC MONSTER>absolute joker is.... A BIG MONSTER
Imagine Absolute professor pyg
>>150460784"Apokalyptic abominations beyond Bruce's comprehension" is a better description.
>>150460890yea its kinda cool just not for me. but maybe a breath of fresh air for some.
>>150449396Is Joker's Killer Croc in Absolute Universe?
>>150460901yeah also don't let visuals sway you. absolute bane isn't just a bigger bastard now.
>>150460784Black Mask is just some dude with high tech helmets. Riddler, Two Face, and Penguin are just disfigured. Catwoman looks normal.
>>150449396Darkseid was still pretty mad about getting shot by Batman, wasn't he?
>>150461092Darkseid is just a bully who is mad that people keep stopping him from bullying everyone.
>>150451148If Gotham is this bad what the fuck goes on in Absolute Hub City you think
>>150461333Either a completely flipped version if it, a utopia that has zero tolerance for any wrongdoing, or a pure hellhole where every form of every crime imaginable is committed daily.
>>150460890>big monster>"apocalyptic abomination beyond comprehension"Are all ABatmanfags literally 12 Y/O browns with rotten minds?
>>150461361Beyond BRUCE’s comprehension
>>150449396Hope they give Absolute Batman a legit superpower.
>>150449396Just more of Joker for Batman to rape. Go make Gotham around Batman
>>150461446He has venom in his body like Bane. Maybe he will hulk out and beat the shit out of Joker.
>>150450237If this was the 90s>call Jason Blood>Etrigan absolutely kills the eldritch abomination with hell fire>Bruce looks on with a "the fuck was i gonna do look">Jason and Bruce laugh about it later
Is Batman fighting literal white nationalists here or was that just an article headline? I was about to start collecting these and saw this going around. It would be so gay to have art that good and it's just fag shit.
>>150450237Apparently Absolute Deathstroke and KGBeast went through the same procedure as Bane.
>>150461483They are clearly based on the KKK.
>>150461484God this shit is freakish
>>150454742thanks bro
>>150451682>>150451325I love this tryhard bullshit.
>>150459848Too many adrenachrome infusions.But yeah Peter Thiel is genuinely scary. People rage every day about guys like Trump and Musk because they're always doing their dumb nonsense in public, but they're too stupid and too horny for publicity to do the genuinely scary stuff. It's guys like Thiel and Srinivasan who are setting up experimental libertarian cities (both actual cities like the Prospera Economic Zone in Honduras and virtual "cities" like Afropolitan) in preparation for their master plan of breaking up the USA into independent "Freedom Cities" which are essentially company towns on a massive scale. JD Vance is also one of Thiel's creatures which is why it would be terrible if something happened to Trump and Vance took over.
>>150461526He would just get Ted Korded if he actually does that.
>>150461411Again, dipshit, they're just big mutated monsters. In what way is this "beyond Bruce's comprehension"? Doesn't he live in the same world as Wonder Woman?>oh no, this shady bunch that does experiments made this guy... BIGGER AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I'M GOING INSAAAAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEE SAVE ME CROCMANDial down the shilling.
>>150461526>Thiel and SrinivasanDon't forget Bryan Johnson who's trying to look young again by harvesting his own son's blood.
>>150461483It's from SDCC and yes, Batman AF is tackling the biggest problem in the world right now; white heckin nationalists! >entire series is literally Antifa Batman Vs. Slenderman FanArt >browns lap it up and it sells like hotcakesThe Big 2 should just die.
>>150455334Wouldn't even say comic writers but writers in general.>years back Stephen King was first shitposting on Twitter about Trump winning back in 2016>respond back maybe he should stop bitching, get back on the cocaine train and give us Maximum Overdrive 2>man locked his replies and blocked me
>>150451067You can live without eyes
>>150461561Bryan's fine. If rich people want to inject themselves with weird shit and aren't injecting others with weird shit that's honestly the best outlet for whatever wealth induced-mental illness they get.
>>150457740It's oddly funny just how many characters have usurped the DC universe over the years to make reality bend to their will>Darkseid>Joker>Dr Manhattan>Brainiac>Batman who gigglesAnd thats just off the top of my head.>that feel when no universe controlled by Loboit'd be essentially Heavy Metal + looney toons
>>150461333>Absolute Hub CityIs a smoking crater because they assholed way too hard.
>>150449396wow the clown prince of crime!
>>150459735>Isley Ecosystem
>>150449396I don't care about Snyder's writing, I am just in for Dragotta.
>>150461526The fact that they're being so brazen and public about it (same goes for the Palantir guys actually) makes me think they're aware that something big might be happening soon and that there's no point hiding it anymore
>>150453994This. Also he goes commando everyday, the man has no concept of mercy.
>>150455115>We discussed this whole Darkseid situation in previous Absolute DC thread and here's the thing, all Absolute characters are far better than their regular versions.Its so so. OA is now a weord cosmic cult that converted John and Guy so hard they are fine with Hal being glued to a amoral cosmic force that already murdered people. And that amoral force is stated to same thing as the green lantern.Martian Manhunter is incorporal and John's son got corrupted by the White Martian.Batman's support network just got brutalized, just after he lost his best friend.Superman got the worst of it, but I dropped his book because I didn't like it.Every adult around Wally either wants to kill him or imprison him.Diana got the better end of the stick I guess.
>>150451336He always has been but over time it's gotten mentioned less and less to falsely present the narrative of the no-kill rule being due to "hecking wholesome Atheist ethics" when it's always been based on his religious values
>>150462370The revisionism is not new, eitherWriters have been trying to retcon Bruce as an Atheist liberal since the 1970s
>>150449396Ayo he kinda freaky
>>150449396LET'S GET READYYYY TOOOOO TANGOOOOOOOO
>>150449396>the whole ass Ars GoetiaThat's what i been thinkingSolomon Keys meets SCP or something
>>150450805Vagina dentata or something
>>150453726>and Dragon Ball Znever actually read Dragon Ball award
>>150461484>another in the middle eastYou don’t think…?
>>150458880If anything that means he has connections to the Russian mafia and Russian government>Inb4 they reveal the Waynes are descendants of the escaped Romanovs
>>150450237Hes gonna affix crosses to his fists and punch him back to hell
>>150460680Absolute Scarecrow is going to be a Kruger reference. They already danced with that idea with Injustice. Grundy is something I want to see
>>150449396so they just using the angels from end of eva?
>>150463000Grundy is gonna be a cementaryBane will go after batman and ground pound cementary on Grundy StreetHe will be like that pile of corpses from bloodborne
>>150462382>>150462370>>150451336>>150450976>>150449801Is he Catholic? I've never seen him be depicted as Catholic.
>>150450804Carefully
I feel like this series is too edgy, unless you look at it like Batman is in Hell. I feel like you really need the context of this being Darkseids edge world, where characters are made to suffer. I don't know how Bruce will ever survive or beat these villains unless he has something like the Presence at his side.
It’s not fully 1:1 but it does feel like Snyder took some cues from Berserk
>>150451833It's not Elseworlds
>>150463075Oh noJoker is gonna rape selina into harley quinn
>"This whomps you Bruce"CHILLZ
>>150463064All of the Absolute titles feel "bad" in their own way. I don't mean bad writing in this context, just that the world is worse off and more geared against the main characters than usual. Which makes sense in the context of this being an entire universe influenced by Darkseid's will which was never supposed to have heroes in the first place, but without that context it feels pointless and exhausting.ABM does feel more negative because it's been leaning more into the body horror aspect, but it's not the exception. It's not like the other heroes are that much better off. AMM is up against some abstract psychic entity that can control minds on a massive scale and who is now hiding inside the animated corpse of his host's young son. AFlash is a runaway child being hunted by a clandestine government superscience squad lead by a genderswapped Reverse-Flash. ASM only recently arrived on Earth, has gotten fucked over at pretty much every turn, and has been partially brainwashed by an extra psychotic, extra sadistic version of Brainiac. I'm not even sure what's going on in AGL but OA sounds more like some vaguely spiritual brainwashing factory than the guardians of galactic law and order.AWW is the real exception here, as others have already pointed out. Even though her backstory is a lot more negative and less hopeful than what it usually is, and almost all of the other Amazons are dead apart from a handful who were already in deep enough shit to be overlooked, her adventures are still mostly the same. Yeah she's up against giant monsters and literal gods, but that's not new territory for her. And now they've even been building up her supporting cast so she's not just one hero against the world. I'm not sure if this is just the writer doing his own thing, some editorial mandate because DC doesn't want to see WW broken, or if they're building something up just to bring it down around her later on (like they did with Batman's friends), but it is noticeable.
I'm not really sure how Batman doesn't believe in God, considering he's met the Spectre on several occasions.
>>150462723Yeah
>>150461526Yeesh
>>150463075>>150463135Unironically, if they have Selina be mind broken into Harley by the Joker, I'm going to buy the whole series in a heartbeat
>>150463278I feel like they were building up the cast for Batman, only to cuck them into caricatures.
>>150460243>Absolute Gordon is a guy with dwarfism that drags along a 10ft cockWe've seen Gordon though, he's a pretty swole former Marine
>>150461483>>150461564>Thread is good>That means fags have to come in and smear shit on the wallsEvery fucking time like clockwork
>>150461705It doesn't matter what it is, their logic is dying together on a hill is better than dying alone on one, they've already mentally checked out of every solution that doesn't involve dying on a hill
>>150459682Bane will eventually end up becoming Swamp Thing Change my mind
>>150463075You joke but Absolute Wonder Woman is closer to Berserk that Batman is
It'd be pretty boring if Batman's friends became villains just because they got brain damage.
>>150451339There was a straight-up pigman in Ark M, but I don't know if that was THE Pyg.
>>150457310I think Gordon will have his work cut out for hin this time
>>150455334Hold on, Dan Slott threatened to kill some random troll's parents?
>>150463962Explain. I feel like Bat and Guts obv. Alfred as Skullknight. Bane as Zodd as they are the ones to introduce the hero to the real stakes and of course, the majestic but terrifying Joker as Griffith. The person I got this image from put Selena as Casca but idk, we haven’t seen that yet. I will say there is a higher chance Martha is Casca in that she is used as a way to break something inside of him and his goal would be to take care of her
>>150449396As goofy as AbBats gets at least it’s about a hero going on adventures and fighting villains Superman /GL/ Flash is just endless set up
I binge-read Absolute Batman last night and really liked it. I didn't know it was some weird Darkseid Multi-verse thing, I just took it as an Elseworlds without context and thought it was pretty good. In that same vein, I tried Absolute Wonder Woman and I really did not care for the first issue. Felt boring and lame, as opposed to ABM which pulled me in immediately.If I didn't like Issue 1, should I keep bothering with AWW? Does it pick up and get better? Or is it more of the same?
>>150464540Abs WW moreorless stays the same throughout, pretty much just feels like a chick discovering DND for the first time. If you didn't like #1 it's maybe not for you. It is by far the least edgy of the Absolute line up so far for what it's worth.Regarding the Darkseid thing, all you need to know is that Darkseid got fed up of always being the big bad guy destined to lose every time so he tricked the heroes into "killing" him and in a convoluted way it allowed him to escape and create his own separate universe shaped by his own ideals, and apparently his idea of a hero is an underdog who rises up against all odds to succeed
>>150464540AbWW is generally pretty solid but I think they spent too much time on the first story where she fights a giant sea monster
>>150464793>and apparently his idea of a hero is an underdog who rises up against all odds to succeedAh, and that's what I like from ABM, along with the body horror and cool monsters. It feels like Bruce doesn't have "as much" plot armor as usual, which makes the story a bit more interesting. To be fair, ABM doesn't really get going until midway through the Zoo Animals story, but as I said I was pulled in pretty quick.The Diana origin was boring (and I didn't care for the style of dialogue), the first fight was boring (I'm not sure about how Diana usually fights, I'm not a WW fan), and I wasn't convinced with the generic big red monsters. Pegasus being made of bones was kinda cool but I wasn't super excited to get the next issue, which is why I'm wondering if all of the Absolute line, if following the same idea of "heroes being proper underdogs" is as good, if not better, than ABM.When I saw someone describe AWW being "Diana vs Eldritch horrors" I was interested, because I love me some bleak abyssal terrors, but these little red sperm things with wings don't exactly open up my wallet (or download folder). Again, if AWW get's better I'll give it another shot, or maybe someone could recommend other Absolutes. I think Superman is just getting started and I was never a big Flash guy, so if those are good, let me know.
>>150464540I like AWW the most but if you don't like the tone of it then it probably won't grab you much.
>>150464390Dark fantasy aesthetics, Wondy's giant ass sword and black armor. She actually has one arm, the one with the tats is a magic prosthetic. Granted it's not like both books can't be inspired by Berserk in different ways. Hell one could argue Bane fucking up his friends was Bruce's Eclipse moment
>>150464793>his idea of a hero is an underdog who rises up against all odds to succeedI mean is he wrong
>>150461526Thiel is retarded, just search up his Vc firm's little get together called Apocalypse Ball and see just how far they've deluded themselves with their whole larp
>>150461934Diana lost her entire people and support network She doesn't have one arm was raised by a witch, monsters, and Hades denizensDiana who defined herself princess of the amazons born leader ambassador to men's world doesn't know what a amazon is and solitary warrior.What truly what sets her apart is that it makes her core traits shine brighter in a universe that's darker, Diana truly fights for truth and equality even more than Batman and Superman and isn't afraid of anything
>>150464793I wonder why Darkseid went so light
>>150458924>Joker literally fucks Bruce's motherGiven how young Bruce is, would Martha be roughly the same age as Joker?
>>150450976>Also it's fitting considering Batman is Catholic that his villains should be demonsAh, So Absolute Scarecrow is just going to be one of the Deadly Sins. Or Chthulu
>>150451325Shouldn't have said the n word
>>150465595mommy
>>150465595I just want to give the writer credit for not going the cheap gender issues route instead opting to just make shit cool it's really refreshing to read a comic about a woman character just doing cool shit
>>150463037I think he's usually an atheist raised Catholic. It's not a big part of his character though.
>>150465891I feel like it's kinda the opposite. The book is laser focused on the bond Diana has with her mother, which is still a gender issue, but it's just not a "men are bad" thing so it feels totally fresh and new.
>>150465633Joker is like 150+ years old in this continuity.
absolute harley quinn
>>150450905>things moving in their belliesUh oh
>>150449396Real talk; I'm not the only one who finds this Absolute Bruce kind of a boring protagonist and is more invested in this Joker, right? Bruce and his posse are very generic, and the majority of the villains aren't anything spectacular either. But Joker and Bane are the two characters I've found the most well written and interesting. I'm actually excited to see what Joker's whole deal is. Although I fully expect him to be written like Discount Wesker and be some Pennywise demon. Which makes me wonder if the book will keep going down the horror angle and bring in Zatanna.
>>150466010>it's just not a "men are bad" thingPretty much yeah and I'm all for it. It really is nice to read a piece of pop culture media written by a woman about a woman character that didn't go the easy route or is at least giving us the sugar before the medicine or whatever
>>150466121>Which makes me wonder if the book will keep going down the horror angle and bring in Zatanna.>Mfw she is the half naked witch to Bruce's barbarian with a big axe.GOGOGOGOFOGOFO
>>150466189Batman should always be a Knight desu, Barbarians suck dick. Maybe Alfred will mold him into his proper form. Or Deathstroke, when he appears fully.
>>150466121I won’t say he is the most interesting. Maybe with Selena on board and anything happening it can spice things up. But he’s a good vehicle to explore the world. I want to see him be pushed to his limits. Since he does have stakes as we’ve seen.
>>150466121Zatanna, Scarecrow, Tim, and Stephanie have all been confirmed iirc. Dick and Jason have already appeared. The upcoming one-shot will introduce Sandman, Wildcat, Hawkman, Iron Munro, and Green Arrow.
>>150466062absolute Mr Bloom is just basically making him even more like Slendermanabsolute Hugo Strange is Kulan Gath wanting to be the Absolute Batmanabsolute Mad Hatter is The Hatman creepypastaabsolute Victor Zsasz is Pinhead
>>150466121>I'm not the only one who finds this Absolute Bruce kind of a boring protagonistI feel like the interest in AB is more in the sheer indescribable horrors beyond human comprehension that is his developing rogues gallery than bruce himself
>>150461484Wont the Venom inside of them eventually get depleted thus returning them back to a normal non-enhanced human?
>>150450805
>>150463037Wayne family always struck me as being pretty WASPy. They were in America during the colonial days
>>150458647Why not? He probably stole one that was being used to build ark-m
>>150463037He's Jewish. His mom is Jewish so he's Jewish
>>150466459Depends on exactly what modifications were made to him in order to facilitate this I guessIn the spirit of this book being absolutely retarded, I'm betting on Batman being able to turn into Man Bat following the experiments on him. Waylon will also be able to revert back from Killer Croc to human form but will still feels cannibalistic hunger
>>150466847>absolutely retarded>Absolute Retard
>>150466847>I'm betting on Batman being able to turn into Man BatHey, why not.
>Venom Batman vs Jokerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz0JfrMNfZg
>>150450237Are there plans for WW+Supes to team up with him?Most of the villains here seem way out of his league
>>150449396>>150450237Since Batman has venom in him I hope he hulks out like Spear on the ape men in Primal. He at least needs to beat the shit out of Bane.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EwHPKBJf2o
Darkseid is an asshole.
>>150467082He won't.He's not going to play Bane's game
>>150466847>Batman being able to turn into Man BatNah we already saw Man Bat.
>>150467082Funny,he looks smaller here than he actually is
>>150463383He does belive in God but since he met one of his aspects bound to a detective he just does his usual stuff cause he cant really affect God or spectre Its same logic as "oh cool aliens are real now leave me alone I need to file my taxes"
>>150467609Fair
>>150449396So is it true the Scott Snyder is personally slipping into the DMs of everyone that says "this looks retarded" and whining at them?
>>150450761Literally is a hell universe.
>>150467098God I love bruces face in the middle panel. That is the face of someone who knows he is about to get his ass beat
>>150466107>Joker is actually Thomas Wayne
>>150450501Ugh, don't remind me
>>150467758>It was at this moment that Bruce knew... he fucked up.
>>150467098for some reason I love that Bane calls him "friend" lol>check THIS out buddy boy!>how about this one, chum?
>>150467983I once did a Marvel reimagining.I decided to lean more into the "Folklore" vibe with GG
>>150468411do you think I care about your fucking fanfiction? Do you think this is your fucking personal blog or something?Alright, it is:tell me everything about your Marvel reimagining and make it snappy
>>150468389>hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn break ur back and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do you want that? do you wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well then gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy
>>150468443No words needed
It's been a year and, honestly, I still think>BIGGER BATMANis absolutely retarded. He still looks clunky and like a moron. He still makes 0 sense. The new cowl/cape armour is actually really cool, but the retarded bulkiness just ruins it. Batman works best when he's sly and able to move. Making him a giant and then making everyone else an even bigger giant is retarded. And honestly it just clashes with the genre too much. Horror's all about tight spaces and scary monsters, when the MC is a monstrosity, then it all looks ridiculous. The same costume on a better frame looks vastly better.I hope he does upgrade his look though, at some point. It's become a boring look now as it looks incomplete.
>>150468696He'll probably get a full mask/helmet thing to match what the Absolute versions of WW and Supes have
What are the chance that Hal become obsidian, since he is Tomar Qward?
I feel like the novelty on this book is about to wear off. It's not really a "Batman" comic, it's some guy with a hammer fighting monsters.
All this talk has kinda convinced me to read Absolute Batman, the description of all of it reminds me a bit of Batman Holy Terror or a Hunter the Vigil tabletop campaign where shit is just insanely out of the average person's league and you're still expected to beat it.Are the other Absolute runs good? I've not touched anything but mainline and the occasional one shot for fucking years
>>150469265Absolute Wonder Woman is entertaining.
>>150468411I discussed my own reimagining/reboot of ASM called Spider-Man: Minus One in the past It's meant to be like an anti-One-More-Day where Aunt May is dead before Peter ever puts on the mask, instead he fathers Mayday earlier in life GG in mine leans into the "angel of death" angle, believing his targets and victims are delinquents and sinners who need to be cleansed from existence
>>150468660Is your version of Black Panther set in Apartheid-era South Africa?
>>150468660OK the Deadpool and Blade i can get behind
>>150464314Nope, he threated to report my friend's actions to his parents as if he was a small child afraid to be grounded. Jokes on him, my friend was 20 at the time, still living with his parents and being grounded every other day.
>>150461622It was created by her. She's one of the scientists working at Ark M, like Strange, Helfern, and Langstrom.
>>150468660
>>150469265Absolute DC is a very rare golden nugget when it comes to DC comics. Yes.
>>150469073Strange, I feel the opposite. When it started it was just>Batman... but he's bigger and heckin relatable nowBut the more it goes on the more it leans to horror and espionage stuff, so it's developing a specific identity. It's not classic Batman, but it's got character enough to be able to tell a story and justify its existence. People are only getting more hyped to see whatever new bullshit monster they'll turn the next Batman villain into. I don't see it winding down, I feel that it's only getting started. I'll grant you that Snyder is a retard and this could end up with another Death Metal and BatKek type of awfulness, but I wouldn't say that the novelty's wearing off just now.Honestly, if the book had a little different political angle, this could've easily been 00s Ultimate Batman.>emphasis on super soldiers and global conspiracies>horror angle>edgy goreIt's like they mashed up Resident Evil, Metal Gear, Spawn and the Darkness all in one book. It's attracting both newcomers and is also nostalgic to the older crowd.>>150469265Like I said above, if you like games like RE or MGS, and vibe with maximalist 90s characters such as Spawn and Darkness, you'll like ABatman. From the others, AbsMM is the best written and imaginative book. AWW is entertaining and doesn't really have any issues; if you like the vibes of dark fantasy and mythology you'll enjoy it. AbSuperman is utterly dreadful though. It's extremely slow and it's yet another Aaron story consisting of>MY DAD AND GOD AND REPUBLICANS SUCKand nothing else. It's the most milquetoast and utterly unimaginative thing you could possible imagine. Leave the politics and subtlety aside, it's just devoid of any interest as a piece of entertainment. The other two are utterly forgettable.
>>150469725I love metal gear and resident evil so you sold me for sure. Hope Catwoman is fun in the run too.Damn shame to hear Superman sucks though, guy seems to never catch a break in Elseworld stories
>>150469265It's genuinely one of the dumbest fucking shit I've ever read in my life and I've read some retarded shit. It's also retarded in a way that's fascinating because there are these moments of genuine goodness like the Mr Freeze short arc with Marcos Martin on art. Also the book is hard carried by Dragotta dude seems to understand how dumb Snyder's writing is leans hard into it. This page is pretty much the page that everyone realized what it is.
absolute wonder woman is cool hot and straight and I'm aroused by her nose but im miffed that it doesnt reach the levels of despair like bats and supes. plays too much like a normal comic book, sure she doesnt have the amazons but she has a loving mom, gods looking over her, friends. she loses her arm but gets a new one, she even replaces her one in the fight with the giant monster BEFORE the fight ends, like what was the point? Underdog my ass. its got the dark fantasy aesthetic but not the dark fantasy storytelling. DC get better writers, I said my piece.
>>150469725What about Absolute Flash and Green Lantern?
>>150469908>plays too much like a normal comic bookI think that's it's strength same with Ult Black Panther. Both book's mainline counterparts have been so bad for so long just having a solid version even if it's an alt universe version is refreshing. I too am into Diana's strong Hellenic features
>>150469943NTA but both are very slow burnFlash is your standard teen hero story, almost everyone around the protagonist wants him dead or captured so he's mainly just been on the run and having teenage panic attacks. There is a lot of setup for future stuff going on with not much main plot happening each chapter so far, I think when all those gears actually start moving it'll be good but at the moment it's pretty dull imo.Green Lantern is a bit more high concept, sci-fi with a slight horror edge in tone, the story is being told very slowly with a big exposition dump happening last issue. Again the concepts being thrown around are interesting but it's taking ages to get places.
>>150470073I guess I feel misdirected and spoiled a bit, because I enjoy seeing heroes pushed to the brink like in the other absolute runs. When things are too convenient, when victory is always expected, the virtuous aspect is diminished. Anyone can play a hero when they have incredible power and sacrifices are immediately made redundant. Wonder Woman is a warrior but when does she ever lose anything? How can she be brave if she hasn't tasted loss?
>>150469041Hal isn't Tomar, Jo is. Tomar is when you can access a part of the spectrum without the required emotional state. The Black Hand shit is apparently just a normal part of being a Black Lantern that you can eventually control.
>>150465595The setup was interesting until she started figthing, then she became such a Mary Sue. Everybody loves her, she can fix all her problems with her magic bag and willpower, etc. Every issue is a bad script wrapped in nice art and a cool concept, but you can feel the smell of shit coming from the inside.
>>150449790>>150450004I'm dying from laughter at the idea Bruce is getting it as bad as hell is specifically because Darkseid is still salty about Bruce killing him
>>150470164Man I like Al Ewing and I like the idea but goddamn I can't give a shit about Jo Mullen. Hell I can barely give a damn about any human GL beyond Hal, John, Guy and maybe Kyle
>>150470472Darkseid being a salty little bitch is the most Darkseid thing in years, he isn't some stoic ruler, he always been an asshole with a toddler's sense of humour, just look at his entourage.
>>150450531>>150450237The Monks are waiting for him, also he's supposed to meet Diana in November maybe she gives him something
>>150468696I disagreed with you until I got to the issue where his stats are revealed: 6'9 and 421 lbs. Like, that's stupid. On top of that, he's the same size as Croc, who was no match for a boxing match with BibibibiBobbidiBoop.Look, there's no Heavyweight division where people are clocking in at over 400lbs.
>>150470496>I can't give a shit about Jo MullenFor me it's using the classic characters to make her appear bigger and better. That's a cardinal sin of any woke media, but even with that aside her character suck ass. People can complain all they want but when writting old white dudes they can represent all they want, but suddenly the character has black tits and a one-sided buzzcut and the whole energy is sucked out of the room.
absolute deadshot
>>150450399Berserk and Metal Gear
>>150451592I’m your father, Batman!
Mary sue stories are perverse because they miss one of storytelling's most valuable functions, which is providing a way to vicariously go through challenge and loss, guided by a mentor (the hero). Everyone will face loss and failure in their life, so when you see a hero make it through a harrowing journey and survive with a smile, you imagine that maybe you can too. It's a meaningfully beneficial thing to consume. On the other hand, a story that paints a world where all loss and tragedy can be wiped away with godlike power isn't inspiring or relatable, because how can anyone actually achieve this except with numbing substances or abandonment? I want to see batman see all his friends turn into freakish monsters and yet still somehow remain optimistic about a better future. I don't want to see them all get magically undone by magic. I want to see the ugliness reckoned with, not shoved under the rug.
>>150449396Always remember that Alfred is Ra’s al Ghul. So this is fair.
>>150470587kek>>150451592>She's gonna be Bruce's mom, and it's gonna be brutal.Spot on. It's gonna be picrel all over again. Snyder will double down every edgy shit he's ever done.
>>150451191>>150451302Darkseid was nice to hear because he understood there's nothing he could come up with for her worse than her existence in the main books
>>150470619>Alfred is Ra’s al GhulRa's is over in Absolute Superman
>>150451682>and he punched Riddler in the brain until he developed autismis this real
>>150452155>wait a second... it's coming...By Jove, what has Joker eaten this time?
>>150453038>>150452065>>150451325>joker (through bane) is the reason for three of batman's classic villains in absolute batmanthis shit sucks
>>150470639>The Kryptonian>I shall make your life miserable, you will remember everything you've lost and it will haunt you>The Amazon>I need not interfere, you're already suffering under Tom King. You have my sympathy>The Bat, >That motherfucker>I will absolutely RUIN you
more joker wank, might as well bring in batkek
>>150470684Rubber chicken.Roasted in squirting flower water
>>150470712>The fast one….>Run, run, run, close to the edge of reality without escape>The Lantern>Be overwhelmed by your worst enemies. Have no allies >The Martian>Witness me
>>150450531>Joker got to them first and killed them after learning their secrets
>>150450237
>>150468660>Black Widow acting like a Kojima characterlet him cook
>>150469265>Are the other Absolute runs good?In my opinion:Martian Manhunter > Wonder Woman >>> Batman >>>>> Green Lantern > Superman > FlashFlash has the potential to get better but it's mostly just a lot of introducing characters so far without a lot actually happening.
>absolute catwoman is just catwoman
>>150470665More or less.
>>150470842That's so fucking stupid. He could've just gone crazy from watching the others get attacked.
>>150470712>The Amazon>I need not interfere, you're already suffering under Tom King. You have my sympathy
>>150470842
>>150470851What is impressive is that after losing his eyes and getting a lobotomy he needs to remake his brain. It's like cutting both arms and legs of a man and you find him one week later wearing wooden prosthetics he made in his shed.
>>150470839Except she is afro-brazilian now, presumably to size her ass up for Absolute Bruce's frame.
>>150459374My only contact with Spawn is that one movie with Michael Jai White.If I'm enjoying Absolute Batman do you have any Spawn comic to recommend that I can go in blind?
>>150470839Kinda herd to tell at this point. We know she's got some kind of prehensile cyborg tail, so that's something new at least. Whether she has any other enhancements, and what her personality and motives are, we know next to nothing about so far.
>>150471027Just start reading Spawn from the very beginning and stop reading when it stops being fun. It's very 90s but not in a bad way (IMO), and the early arcs are a lot of fun, but it kinda crawls up its own ass after a while.
>>150470932Considering Darkseid has been turned into a kind of meta-entity that exists across all realities, that scenario is not even entirely impossible.
>>150462673this ain't a manga thread retard, this a comics and cartoons board, gatekeep normies when appropriate
>>150471102>make a retarded comparison to manga>get called out for being retarded>REE STOP TALKING ABOUT MANGAlol, lmao
>>150449396>>150449790It's making me realize how completely uninteresting the Council in Nu Ultimates has been, really feels like they've been a complete after thought
>>150470839She's the rich one with all the tech, I guess Bruce persuades her to lend him shit in exchange for sexual favors or something
>>150471532It really has been utter garbage because it takes the idea of a clean slate and goes “NO, more multiverse stuff NOW!”
>>150471532I blame the real world time limit. It absolutely ham strung the entire line. >BP started getting good when half it's time was up. >X-men is paradoxically too fast and too slow at the same time with only Hisako and Mei getting anything close to development (anyone remember Natsu killing her mom when her power went haywire, went nowhere)The fact that Spiderman and Ultimates have been as decent as they were is a fucking miracle
>>150471557How many gallons of squirt does a man have to drink to get his girl to buy him a belaz
>>150471618Remember the "Batman doesn't eat pussy" meme from a while back?Absolute Batman was specifically created to counter that claim. He eats pussy for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He's the cunning linguist incarnate. He doesn't just eats pussy, he devours that shit. Catwoman needs a day off to recover after a session with Absolute Bruce, just so she can regain the feeling in her legs.
Should I pick Absolute Batman back up again? I read the first three issues and bounced off of it months ago.
>>150471663I think it's around issue 5 or 6 where it becomes clear that it's self-aware of it's retardation and is just running with it, you either like or hate these sorta stories in general
>>150450905>He keeps women around to poach fresh fetuses from
>>150449396>why is manga outselling us?
>>150471663Depends on why you bounced off in the first place.
>>150471663Yeah it really picks up after Black Mask's arc
>>150471697Lady Gaga is jealous of his Abortion throne
>>150471733It seemed to be more style over substance
>>150470496Jo is definitely the least interesting of the core human cast, Hal feels more like the protagonist than she does too
>>150471532I will take something different but neutered for the story setting over something over the top ridiculous that's trying too hard for you to take seriously.
>>150451339>>150451277>He's just Piggsy/The Butcher from Diablo
>>150470539it's funny that his mom thinks his eyes are his defining featureand not that he's a 6'9 400+lbs brick shithouse
>>150451325>
>>150471688>around issue 5 or 6It's issue Six specifically the scene where Batman kicks the kid, that's the point where it feels like it clicked for a lot of people
>>150471761From what little I've read Hal has an actual struggle with significant consequences compared to Jo
>>150467098The middle panel my god
>>150470472>Lost to Clark>Alsolute Superman is a corporate hell and getting mindfucked by braniac>Died to Batman>Gotham is just lovecraftian horrors beyond mortal comprehension>Meanwhile every other Absolute hero is fine for the most partI see you, Darkseid
>>150467682No, because Jesse Baker (OG internet comic troll) and John Hefner (Two Face blog and Batman historian) both loudly shitted on him for Year Zero and Death In. The Family and never got blocked or DMs from them.
>>150457740>carefully manipulate events so that this one guy, on a specific planet, during a specific timespan has the worst life possibleBut enough about the Maker
>>150457476*this universe's Casca
>>150470539I'm almost sure the 421lbs thing was with the suit and/or all the hidden weapons inside him. There was a mugshot of him where he was listed at 220 but he was younger and leaner though not by that much, I'd place him at around 300-350 tops.What annoys the shit out of me is how stupid he looks. He looks like a overgrown baby.Darkseid adding insult to injury by giving him a weak jawline, huge forehead and that non-white nose whatever they're called.
>>150470694*4You forgot about killer croc.And nah, this shit rocks.
>>150472118He's got early Jojo's Bizarre Adventure character proportions
>>150457671People want to be entertained
>Darkseid in his infinite powers of this universe making sure Bruce suffers all 8 layers of hell and Gotham is a sea of horrors incomprehensible by man all because he's still bitter he got shot that one time
>>150459003Honestly it's my favorite aspect of the whole thing, he spends like 2/3 issues making Bruce seems like this larger than life crazy brick house only for him to get eviscerated the moment he had to face some the could actually fight back
>>150472205What of his greatest enemy; a person who does not care for math?
>>150472216>Batman goes around steamrolling everyone because he's a 400lbs brickshithouse>Comes across someone bigger than him for the first time>Gets raped for like 3 months straightKWAB
>>150463075You actually reminded me that something fucked up is ABSOLUTEly going to happen to Selina and or his Mother, there's no way they're getting away from them is completely unscathed
>>150472064John's son died and his corpse is being puppeted by the White Martian, so I wouldn't exactly say he's fine.
>>150470539>>150471810He's not 6'9'' he's clearly 7 feet and up, sometimes he looks 8 easily.>>150468696What is most stupid is how easy would be for the cops to make his profile. Just line up every white, 7' male in Gotham. I doubt they'll get more than 20 names, now get age, physique, background check... Fucker is a Google search away from being arrested. But somehow picrel happened so I guess anything goes in the Absolute line.
>>150464878I feel like the problem with WW is she isn't really suffering the everyone else is if that makes sense? She seems like she's fairing far better than everyone else in the universe
>>150472408>He's not 6'9'' he's clearly 7 feet and up, sometimes he looks 8 easily.Do you even read the damn comic
>>150469402No
>>150472500Yes and what the text says doesn't match what my eyes see.
>>150469440What about the rest?
What if Absolute Bruce gains the ability to morph into Man-Bat? He's already got Venom pumping through his veins, and this book is hard on genetic abominations, so I'm curious if he'll just gain that ability to fight the 11 ft tall Bane and monster Joker
>>150472408Either that or brick shithouses are a dime a dozen
>>150472118I thought that too but I think the stats also made the specific note that he was 7' with the suit on, which implies that he was 6'9 420 with it off. Again, 400 lbs is ludicrous so I want to believe that it's with the suit on as well. It could just be stilted writing, or that the writer doesn't know how much a fighter (or even a big power lifter) should weigh.You know who is 6'9 400lbs? The Mountain from Game of Thrones. And pre-mutation Croc is the same size.
>>150467098That reaction is unironically one of the best things to come out of this book
>>150461526>adrenachrome infusions.crazy to me that idiots accepted a sidenote from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas into their personal beliefs
>>150472614Some anon in a previous thread said there is like 3k people (in the US iirc) at 6'9''. So I guess they are not that common, but who knows maybe they put all kind of toxic waste in Gotham's baby formula
>>150472622nta but we are just overthinking when the real answer is "Snyder is retarded with numbers, he only cares about edgy bullshit".
>>150472711I mean in the Absolute Universe
>>150468660Alot of these a significantly more interesting than anything they actually did with the current Ultimates line
>>150472786In what regard?
>>150467082To quote Guts, I'd like it if Bats went>Screw you. I'm purebred human, right down to the bone. Don't mistake me for one of you freaks.
>Bruce's face when Absolute Man-Bat is a giant bat-shaped mass made up of multiple men fused together in a horrific experiment>Bruce's face when Absolute Scarecrow is so terrifying to even perceive it causes you to have vivid hallucinate and terrors like you're under the effects of extreme fear toxin>Bruce's face when Absolute Clayface is an eldritch abomination
>>150472699I know there are people who take that shit seriously but as far as I see it it's just another meme conspiracy like flat earth theory and shapeshifting reptilians.The truth is, as usual, a lot more bland. Yes there are rich assholes who take blood transfusion from young people in an attempt to stay young and there is (anecdotal, nonscientific) evidence that it has some positive effect, but there's no need at all to set up secret harvesting facilities to extract super specfic chemical compouds from kidnapped babies when you can literally just pay people to give you their blood and nobody gives a fuck.
>>150472849>Absolute Manbat is a clone of himAlso we got Clayface
>>150472849>regular Spider-man face when he look at his bills at the end of the month
>>150472849>Bruce's face finding out what Absolute Joker has planned for Absolute Jason Todd
>>150468660>Deadpool's power becomes a field that turns the world around him into a nonstop gag-style comedy romp while he remains completely serious>She-Hulk becomes her green self but her fourth wall breaking is turned into a serious mental issue where her human form only exists as a reflection of her new self. >instead of being whisked off on alien adventures, Star Lord has to watch his entire town be atomized while he barely escapes with Gamora's help.>Black Widow was trained by the americans instead of the russians in advanced army infiltration and torture skills>Punisher is exactly the same. Everything else just sucks a little more.
Dragotta is absolutely wasted on this slop
>>150472849>>150472885I think we already saw Manbat.And Clayface as well >>150451032
>>150471532Spider-Man feels like it's the only one trying in that regard
>>150472933Punisher is actually one of the most different.>No family that died to the mob>Instead, his squad, AKA the only positive human connection he has had, died to military cyborgs to test them>Now on a quest to kill PMCs and war profiteers.>More of a lightning fast accurate killing machine rather than a Commando-style walking armory.
Now the "Isley Biome". Is that implying Pam is the living forest, or is she the doctor in charge of that project?
>>150473019I think she's both
>>150472923>Normal Dick loses his parents in a trapeze accident, falling to their deaths>Absolute Dick's parents actually survive and are fine>They even meet Bruce Wayne and became great friends>And then along came Bane
>catwoman dies in her first issueplease darkseid
>>150473031>Punches them into a circus act
>>150461526>>150461561>Anons do not know about China's Project 981>Intended to prolong the life of Xi and his officials to 150 years or longer through organ harvesting>>150473019Good question. I hope we see more of that.
>>150473059>They don't even fall in an accident>Bane just throws them off a building
>>150472680It’s a great panel lol. The shading goes a long way in showing how scared the fucker is
>>150473084PFFFFTTTT>Bane turns them into trapezes>Swings on them and they snap
>>150472885>Absolute Manbat is a clone of him>Liquid Bruce actually underwent full Baneification>We get Bigger Batman vs Bad End BandBat
>>150473101I'm gonna headcanon that Bane is just Darkseid self-inserting just to fuck with Bruce personally
>>150472849>>150473019>Absolute Poison Ivy
>>150473102>Issue 11 wasn't all a dream>They really did create a Bat-Bane
my question is, are Bruce's friend going to be villains now and hate him? KillCroc still consider him a friend after turning into a freakshow
>>150473140I really hope Croc comes back and instead of a Robin he ends up Bruce's sidekick. Hell I hope Riddler joins up too
>>150473140Harvey might be insane now from his head being split open.
>>150473172Harvey seemed pretty same when he talked to Bruce
>>150473140Croc kinda turned on him in the end and Two-Face literally said that he hates Bruce. Penguin is too fucked up to do anything at this point and Riddler is just off in his own schizo world but still seems friendly to Bruce.
>>150473152Snyder is a big fan of batman earth one as far i remember, could be a thing that croc stays neutral or joins his side. Snyder has a soft spot for croc imo
>>150473186He was pretty lucid but he does blame Bruce for what happened and we haven't seen him go into his multiple personality thing yet.
>>150473216Made for BBC (Big Bat Cock).
its bruce's fault in all cases except croc, croc has no reason to hate bruce in this context
>Absolute Kite Man>Absolute Carpenter>Absolute Condiment KingGimme your worst ideas
>>150473244He is mad that Bruce didn't mercy kill him though
>>150473216she looked better before people cried she wasn't black enough
>>150473244>>150473320Yeah they're not exactly enemies but Croc doesn't like him right now.
>>150473271Kite Man has the skin on his back flayed and sewn to his arms to glide.Carpenter is now Jesus (Absolute Jesus is the even eviler son of Satan Joker).Condiment King only puts Pure Evil 13 Million sauce on your food.
>>150473347The half black half brazilian was a last minute change, right? She was white in the concept art.
>>150450905>>150453600Jesus fuck, Snyder is ripping off Muzan from KNY. I know his kids are into these mainstream nu-shounen like MHA and KNY and they put him on that shit. He is also a known idiot that thinks something like HEAVY METAL is the coolest arc name. Both Snyders are hacks, god damn.
>>150473382I don't know if they knew her exact race/nationality but she's definitely not white in the first arc.
>>150473357Also considering this line I wouldn't be surprised if Croc ended up eating some people.
>>150472933My version of Iron Man is like a bizarre fusion of Ciel Phantomhive, Setsuna F. Seiei, and Sanda Kazushige.>Lonely, sickly, and delicate 16 year old heir to one of the largest companies on the planet who recently lost his father to a mysterious illness.>Has a weak body and organs due to genetic issues>Builds a MADOX-style power armor that makes him seem older to be able to take revenge on the biotech cultist who orchestrated said death to seize the company
>>150449396Which villain will be a relatively normal human to contrast against the rest of the freaks?
>>150473504We already had black mask in the first arc, who was just a human mobster with a dumb helmet.
>>150461483why is batman fighting white nationalists or a stand-in group for the kkk a bad thing to you?
LEAKSabsolute zatanna next Abswonderwoman
>>150473504Did we already get a preview of Scarecrow?I'd like it if he was a completely normal psychiatrist that just gaslights people into thinking demons are after them or something
>>150473131We've (possibly) seen her already, and Clayface in Ark M
>>150473565Not what I expected, but interesting. Always love Zee.
>>150473565Niceeeeee
>>150473271>MOISTURIZE ME (hell yeah)>The Wooden Man>Capsaicin incarnate
>>150473565>>150473580Saw the page. You know who else is locked up in that block? Giganta. However ironically she's small and in a special hamster tube
>>150472614>Darkseid wants to have Earth filled with 7" people because he wants to call Superman "Supermanlet"
>>150473690Kek
ABSOLUTE mr. piggy
>>150470712lmao
>>150473565i love how even when characters associated with Bruce aren't even in Gotham or around him, they're still fucked up in some way
ABSOLUTE CONDIMENT KING
>>150473216>>150473347>This is Bruce's sugar mamaMaybe Darkseid wasn't TOO hard on him
>>150473271>Absolute Kite ManRemember that Pancake Family creepypasta? That's now retconned in to explain that Kite Man was the guy flattening them to make his kite.>Absolute Condiment KingArk-M injected him with all known hot sauces and ones they had to create and it mutated him into The Blob (sci-fi film, not Marvel) but made of hot sauce. Although the highest scoville sauce they injected into him was 5,000,000 Scoville Heat Units, he can make his body create a sauce that is at 15,000,000 Scoville Heat Units
>>150474129>Absolute Poison Ivy
>>150474327Would Killer Moth just be a horror version of him from Teen Titans?
>>150474428>Absolute Killer Moth is like Man-bat but a giant man-eating moth
>>150474428That's just his larval stageThen he metamorphosis into Monsterverse Mothra but with human limbs in place of insect limbs
>>150472500>6'9 and 190kg I wish he had started as a normal looking Batman and became Absolute after his fight against Bane. He's on the venom, right?
>>150474402>absolute Firefly
where is absolute clayrface
>>15047493464 page annual where Bane Beats up on a guy for the entire pagecount, turning him into literal paste.
>>150475369And he ends the book with, "Now, I'm going to inject myself with Venom and continue the molding!"
Absolute Royal Flush Gang are just an illustrated "We are the Aristocrats" joke.
