I have Shrek 2 hate-threads fatigue

>>150545879
Kill yourself already you ungrateful faggot

>it's so good to be home... just you and me and...
>"two can be as bad as one"
>Donkey?
>Shrek! Fiona! Well, aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. And look at you, Mrs Shrek. How about a side of sugar for the steed?
>Donkey, what are you doing here?
>i was just taking care of your love nest for you
>oh, you mean like... sorting the mail and watering the plants?
>yeah, and feeding the fish!
>i don't have any fish
>you do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your...
>oh, would you look at the time? Well, i guess you'd better be going
>hey, wait a minute. Don't you wanna tell me all about your trip? Or how about a game of parcheesi?
>actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to Dragon?
>oh, yeah, that. I don't know, she's been all moody and stuff lately. So i thought i'd move back in with you guys
>well, you know we're always happy to see you, Donkey
>but Fiona and i are married now. We need a little time, you know, to be together..... just with each other..... alone
>say no more, say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you
>Donkey!
>yes, roomie?
>you're bothering me
>oh, ok. All right, cool. I guess, uh... me and Pinocchio was going to try to catch a tournament, anyway, so maybe i'll see y'all sunday for a barbecue or something
Shrek 2' script oozes negative energy. Also, Fiona only has 2 lines in this scene

>we're not going
>what?
>i mean, don't you think they might be a bit... shocked to see you like this?
>well, they might be a bit surprised. But they're my parents, Shrek, they love me. And don't worry, they're going to love you too
>yeah, right. Somehow i don't think i'll be welcome at the country club
>will you stop it? They're not like that
>then how do you explain Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band?!
>oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance
>oh, to do what? Sharpen their pitchforks?
>no! They just want to give you their blessing
>oh... great. Now i need their blessing?
>well, if you want to be a part of this family, yes!
>and who says i want to be part of this family?
>uh, you did! When you married me?
>well, there's some fine print for you!
>so that's it? You won't come?
>trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going, and that's final!

>hey, come on Shrek! We don't wanna hit traffic! All right, hit it! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! Ride em' up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! Knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! Meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! Rawhide! Yee-ha!
the characters in Shrek 2 don't awake empathy

>>150545879
kys sharkfag

>are we there yet?
>no
>are we there yet?
>not yet
>ok, are we there yet?
>no
>are we there yet?
>no!
>are we there yet?
>yes
>really?
>NO!
>are we there yet?
>no!
>are we there yet?
>no, we are not!
>are we there yet?!
>NO!!
>are we there yet?/are we there yet?
>that's not funny/that's not funny
>that's really inmature/that's really inmature
>see, this is why nobody likes ogres/see, this is why nobody likes ogres
>all right, your loss/all right, your loss
>i'm just gonna stop talking!
>finally!
>but this is taking forever, Shrek. There ain't no in-flight movie or nothing!
>the kingdom of Far Far Away, Donkey. That's where we're going. Far Far... Away
>all right, all right, i get it! I'm just so darn bored
>well, find a way to entertain yourself
>(clicks tongue three times)
>oh, for five minutes... Could you not be yourself... FOR FIVE MINUTES?!
>(clicks tongue again)
>ARE WE THERE YET?!
>yes!
>oh, finally!

>wow! It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. Hey, good looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! Oh, pantyhose
>we are definitely not in the swamp anymore
>halt!
>hey everyone, look
>hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? You working that hat. Swimming pools, movie stars!
still not empathizing with the characters or the writing style

>Shrek (2001): Directed by Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson
>Shrek 2 (2004): Directed by Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury and Conrad Vernon
I see what's the problem here.

>announcing the long-awaited return of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband
>well, this is it
>this is it
>this is it
>this is it
>(baby crying sound effect)
>uh... why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car
>so... you still think this was a good idea?
>of course. Look, mom and dad look happy to see us
>who on earth are they?
>i think that's our little girl
>that's not little. That's a really big problem. Wasn't she supposed to kiss Prince Charming and break the spell?
>well, he's no Prince Charming, but they do look...
>happy now? We came. We saw them. Now let's go before they light the torches
>they're my parents
>hello? They locked you in a tower
>hey, that was for my own...
>GOOD! Now here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home
>Harold, we have to be...
>quick! While they're not looking, we can make a run for it
>Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be...
>a disaster! There is no way...
>you can do this
>but i really...
>really...
>really...
>don't...
>want...
>to...
>be...
>here!
>mom... dad... I'd like you to meet my husband... Shrek
>well, um.... it's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from
this is lame

Shrek 2 was the first mainstream CGI movie to be completely uninspired. Say what you will about Shark Tale or Robots or Chicken Little, but they aren't uninspired movies.

>(belches) excuse me
>better out than in, i always say, eh, Fiona? That's good... i guess not
>what do you mean "not on the list"? Don't tell me you don't know who i am? Hey, what's happening everybody? Thanks for waiting. You know, i had the hardest time finding this place
>no! no! Bad Donkey! Bad! Down!
>no, no, dad! Dad, it's all right. It's all right. He's with us. He helped rescue me from the dragon
>yep, that's me : the noble steed. Hey waiter! How about a bowl for the steed?!
>oh, boy
>um, Shrek
>yeah? Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs Q. Hmm!
>no, no, darling
>oh!
>so, Fiona, tell us about where you live
>well... Shrek owns his own land. Don't you, honey?
>oh, yes! It's in an enchanted forest abundant in squirrels and cute little duckies and...
>what? I know you ain't talking about the swamp
>Donkey!
>an ogre from a swamp. Oh, how original
>well, i supposed that would be a fine place to raise the children
>(chokes on spoon and spits it out)
>it's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?
>indeed. I just started eating
>Harold!
>what's that supposed to mean?
>dad. It's great, ok?
>well, for his type, yes
>my type?
>i gotta go to the bathroom
>dinner is served!
>nevermind. I can hold it
>bon appetit!
>oh, mexican food! My favorite
>well, let's not just sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in
>don't mind if i do, Lillian
>so, i suppose any grandchildren i could expect from you would be...
>ogres, yes!
>not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
>oh, no! No! Of course not! That is, assuming you don't eat your own young
>dad!
>oh no, we usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower!
>Shrek, please!
>i only did that because i love her
>oh aye, daycare or dragon-guarded castle
>you wouldn't understand. You're not her father!
>it's so nice to have the family together for dinner
>Harold!
>Shrek!
>Fiona!
>Fiona!
>mom!
>Harold...
>Donkey!
this scene is stressful and annoying to watch

>>150546101
Fuck you

>>150546358
Shit taste.

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>Tfw you genuinely feel like Shrek 2 isn't as good of a movie as Shrek 1 but this faggot's made it so that any attempt to state as such is associated with his schizo autism
I still enjoy the movie, it's a solid movie, I just prefer the first, but noooooooooo thanks to your faggot ass I can't even say as much without being accused of fucking BEING you. Fuck you Sharktalefag. Seriously. Fuck you. Fuck. You.

>>150545879
Posting transcripts of the film doesn't support your argument my seething friend.

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I don't what's going on today. Me and /co/.
>Naked Nicocado images on a Spongebob thread.
>Someone keeps spamming a edited meme of Fred in Ponyville in hope of summoning Barneyfag.
>Sharkfag reinterpreting scenes from Shrek 2.
>My phone got stolen in a JCPenny in the mall.

>>150546456
Sharktalefag isn’t interested in having an argument. He just wants to talk to himself in the void. I don’t understand why he isn’t banned, these threads are the most worthless shit ever.

>>150545879
hey now

>>150546505
Mods don't see nothing problem with the shits on this board unless they have a pony reference

>Fiona? Fiona?
>oh, you got a puppy? All i got in my room was shampoo
>oh, uh... fairy godmother, furniture... i'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek
>your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen?
>Shrek is the one who rescued me
>but that can't be right
>oh, great, more relatives!
>she's just trying to help
>good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving
>what?
>leaving? I don't wanna leave
>when did you decide this?
>shortly after arriving
>look, i'm sorry...
>no, no, no, that's all right. I need to go, anyway. But remember, dear. If you should ever need me, happiness... is just a teardrop away
>thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. Happy, happy, happy...
>so i see (chuckles). Let's go, Kyle

>very nice, Shrek
>what? I told you coming here was a bad idea
>you could've at least tried to get along with my father
>you know, i don't think i was going to get daddy's blessing, even if i did want it
>well, do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what i wanted?
>sure. Do you want me to pack for you
>you're unbelievable! You're behaving like a...
>go on. Say it
>like an ogre!
>well, here's a news flash for you! Whether your parents like it or not... I AM an ogre! (roars at bichón frise to shut him up) and guess what, princess? That's not about to change
>i've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that
>that's real smooth, Shrek. "I am an ogre" (mímics Shrek's roar)
this is just a bad romcom full of negative energy and lacking any real charm. It's been 21 mins of runtime and these characters still haven't clicked

>(Shrek sneezes after smelling potion)
>see? You're allergic to that stuff. You're gonna have a reaction. And if you think i'm going to smear Vapor Rub all over your chest, think again
>boss, just in case there's something wrong with the potion, allow me to take the first sip. It'll be an honor to lay my life on the line for you
>no, no, no, no, no. I don't think so. If there's gonna be any animal testing, i'm gonna do it. That's the BEST friend job. Now give me that bottle
>how do you feel?
>i don't feel any different. I look any different?
>you still look like an ass to me

>(Donkey praises the potion after becoming a stallion, so Puss mocks his cowardice before) "oh, don't take the potion Mr. Boss. It's very bad"

>and let's face it, you're a lot easier on the eyes, but inside you're still the same old mean, salty, cantankerous, stinky, foul, angry ogre you've always been
>and you're still the same annoying donkey
>yeah

>ugh, you better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold
>well, i'm afraid Fiona isn't really warming up to Prince Charming
>um, FYI, not my fault
>no, no, of course it's not, dear
>i mean, how charming can i be when i have to pretend that i'm that dreadful ogre?

>i mean, you can't force someone to fall in love
>allow me to differ. I do it all the time. Have Fiona drink this, and she'll fall in love with the first man she kisses, which will be Charming
>um... no
>what did you say?
>i can't. I won't do it
>oh yes, you will. If you remember, i helped you with your happily ever after, and i can take it away just as easily. Is that what you want? Is it?
>no
>good boy

>i hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears. Flip over to the Wheel of Torture
>i'm not flipping anywhere, "sir", till i see Shrek and Fiona
>ah, whizzes on you guys

definitely a script penned on the heels of 9/11. It oozes negative energy. No Dreamworks film before was this abrasive

>>150546494
truly today is one of the days of all time

>>150545879
It's bad and unfunny. Only nostalgia is why people like it.

>>150546989
Stfu fag

>>150547011
It's just the truth. That's why you're mad.

>>150546989
Much agreed.

>useless nitpick
>another useles nitpick
>the most retarded nitpick
>more shitty details nobody cares about
"SHREK 2 BAD"
There, i summed up every post made by you.
You're welcome and sage.

of all the things to be this schizophrenic about

>>150547248
I love how hypocritical he is. Constantly making threads about how X movie did better than Y movie at the box office. But as soon as it's Shrek 2? Oh no, there's the problem.

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>sharkfag
>barneyfag
>i'm not watching that shit spammer

>>150547582
DIE YOU FUCKING BARNEYFAG

>>150547667
you will never be him

>Toy Story
>Antz
>A Bug's Life
>Toy Story 2
>Shrek
>Monsters, Inc.
>Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
>Ice Age
>Finding Nemo

It doesn't have the charm from the Pixar/PDI/Blue Sky/Nickelodeon movies that came out before

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>>150547667
That's not even the pastel horse show.

You must've been the one who steal my phone.

Go AWAY.

Far, FAR, away...

>>150547826
I prefer the swamp.

>>150545879
Boy I love Shrek 2. It really is an excellent continuation. I love that it recognizes that Shrek and Fionna are truly in love and uses an outside force to cause tension in their relationship rather than a shallow marriage crisis caused by them regressing as a couple. It's great that it shows how despite finding happiness in themselves in the first film that doesn't mean others recognize it. It's wonderful how Shrek is willing to completely change who he is to make Fionna and her family happy. The new characters are great additions. Puss obviously is the standout but the Fairy God Mother and Charming are excellent villians. I lobe the foreshadowing for why Harold feels the way he does about Fionna and the ultimate reveal of his cursed form is an excellent pay off ans cap to his arc. Shrek 2 really is just excellent and It really was the peak for the franchise.

OP is a faggot by the way.

>>150547922
But it's bad.
>Begins with a montage full of forced emotion ( too much kissing ), pop culture references ( From here to Eternity, LotR, Spiderman ), a distateful Disney jab ( Fiona killing Ariel ), fart jokes and a early 00s song that's too on the nose ( "I'm in love, i'm love, i'm love" )
>Shrek treats Donkey like shit upon finding him taking care of his house, doesn't thank him and then hurts his feelings
>Fiona gets barely any lines
>Shrek acts like a toxic dickhead by not wanting his wife to see her parents again because he thinks "he will not be welcome at the country club"
>Donkey sings the Rawhide theme for a minute straight and then starts asking "are we there yet ?" like an annoying child
>They reach a Beverly Hills parody full of product placement
>King Harold leaves a terrible first impression by not wanting to greet her daughter upon seeing his husband is an ogre
>Fiona reunating with her parents has zero emotion
>Fairy Godmother song number is pointless and comes across as hypocrital given the Disney hatred
>Shrek argues with Fiona, yells at her and acts like a dick
>"Gender confused wolf" ( bad comedy )
>Timberlake poster in a fairytale setting
>More incongreous pop culture jokes ( Alien, Shirley Bassey, Bob Barker, etc )
>More distateful jokes ( Shrek farting in front of his friends, Pinocchio wears a thong )
>Bad behavior ( Shrek stealing clothes from people and never returning them )
And the list goes on and on. Across its 83 mins, Shrek 2 keeps finding new ways to make the viewer become disconnected with the narrative because of terrible writing choices and shitty comedy. It's a bad movie.

>>150547983
You don't understand basic story telling I see.

>>150547667
That isn't a multicolored jackass.

>>150547983
>Begins with a montage full of forced emotion
Autists don't understand emotion
>pop culture references
They are constructed jokes that happen to be pop culture references
>a distateful Disney jab
Which are funny
>fart jokes and a early 00s song that's too on the nose
Literally the opening of the first movie
>Shrek treats Donkey like shit
Donkey is annoying, they may be friends now but Shrek has always found Donkey annoying
>Fiona gets barely any lines
So?
>Shrek acts like a toxic dickhead by not wanting his wife to see her parents again because he thinks "he will not be welcome at the country club"
That's literally what happens, he was right to feel hesitant
>They reach a Beverly Hills parody full of product placement
Everything being vapid superficial beauty ala Hollywood is part of the theme, yes
>King Harold leaves a terrible first impression by not wanting to greet her daughter upon seeing his husband is an ogre
They are terrible parents that put their daughter in an isolated tower for years, this is consistent with the first movie
>Fiona reunating with her parents has zero emotion
Things are awkward, this is a logical outcome
>Fairy Godmother song number is pointless and comes across as hypocrital given the Disney hatred
The song serves to serve the theming that Fairy Godmother is all about superficial appearances as a traditionally "good" fairy tale character, this is all but literally stated
>Shrek argues with Fiona, yells at her and acts like a dick
This is plot
>"Gender confused wolf" ( bad comedy )
This is funny
>Timberlake poster in a fairytale setting
This is funny
>More incongreous pop culture jokes
As mentioned before these are construed jokes
>More distateful jokes
These are funny
>Bad behavior
Just like the first movie

>>150548158
Think what you want. Shrek 2 is not a respectable movie in any way.

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Alright, that's it, I'm now fully convinced this is just some retard spamming it for shits and giggles instead of the real Sharkfag.

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Toughts on Conrad Vernon's filmography?

>>150545879

>>150545879
>Look, i hate Shrek 2, im a contrarion, praise me praise me. Shrek 2 is the worst. Im so unique. I hate Shrek, everyone loves it but not me. Nu-uh. I have Shrek 2, im special. Clap for me.