Lets be honest, we all know how reactonary Marvel is, i give them a year before they launch their own Absolute like line>B-b-but UltimateUltimate is a entirely different beast from the absolute universewe need extremely edgy subversion breaking versions of characters to go along with this>Super rich gigachad Spider-man>Poor as shit Tony stark with Iron man armor made out of old cars>Captain America but as a rebel freedom fighter
>>151116544>Captain America but as a rebel freedom fighterCap is from 1776, there.
>>151116544Pretty sure you posted this thread already.In b4 someone says that's Spawn
>>151116568>Pretty sure you posted this thread already.????
>>151116544I fixed it.
>>151116544That's just Spa->>151116568awww
>>151116544>Poor as shit Tony stark with Iron man armor made out of old carsso Riri Williams?
>>151116572You have to have seen it before, if you have that drawing saved.
>>151116625????
Spiderman is boring.
>>151116658this
>>151116658NO YOURE WRONG
>>151116544Absolute is just DC's attempt at doing what the original Ultimate universe did
>>151116544Absolute Spider-man should be a little girl who's brutal with her spider-powers.
>>151116544>Peter Parker is a nepobaby who inherited a large fortune from his parents but is stuck with his distant aunt and uncle until he is of age>gets bitten by a radioactive spider while he is snorting coke during an art exhibition>becomes a superhero, reveals his face pretty quickly and whores out to advertisers and companies, anything to give him the popularity he feels he deserves>during a press conference, some mafioso tries to kill him but uncle ben (of course) gets killed instead>"P-Peter, y-you got a great power. I-It's time to begun using it responsibly"This would make Norman a blue collar worker, Harry a broke incel and Mary Jane... I don't know what the fuck to do with MJ, but in the spirit of Absolute Batman, MJ should be a hot latina whose real name is actually Maria Jane, but everyone calls her Mary. Also Venom is just a xenomorph which bonds with its host by violently impregnating them Alien style (that one hospital scene from Alien vs Predator 2)
>>151116865There's more to absolute versions than grimdarkA lot of the people making these memes seem to pretend the non-Batman IPs simply don't exist
>>151116891Well, the alternative is just going full Spider Totem mystic bullshit. I swear to god that shit only becomes relevant once or twice for crossover events. Tie Absolute Spidey to the Totem horseshit from the very beginning.
>>151116908The alternative is disobeying the editorial mandates and most Absolute reimaginings of Spidey are oddly mandate-friendly
>>151116544>absolute gay woke shityeah no thank you we don't need more of that.
>>151116544already posted a version of this in a similar thread but I'll post it again anywayIn Absolute Spiderman, the spider that bites Peter is a giant mutated bioweapon that physically bonds with his body, becoming the spider "logo" on his suit. The spider is a prototype in a supersoldier program that grants the user the typical spider-powers, save for web-slinging. His "suit" is actually an exoskeleton (like a real spider) that he can extrude or retract to/from his skin at will; this is a disgusting and painful process. Instead of shooting webs out of his wrists, he can extrude webbing from any pore in his body, but only at low velocity, forcing him to jump and climb rather than swinging.
Absolute Iron Man should be normal on the outside but under the veneer the Tony we start with is a copy; the actual Tony we begin following is a hybrid cyborg afraid to show himself due to his ongoing modulating body (originally he has a sleek chassis but then during a fight he just starts grabbing whatever and forcing it to merge leading to some Tetsuo the Iron Man shit). And then the reveal neither is the "original" and pull back into the Roxxon Corporation where its entire operating system is running through the brains of multiple "smart" characters including Stark. And that's how we also deal with all of those "I'm the ninth smartest person on Earth, I'm the 11th smartest." They're now processing power for Roxxon.
>>151117807This is just Metroid
>Absolute Fantastic Four>Reed Richards is the biggest dummy in the world and constantly causing problems due to his bumbling nature from setting the coffee machine on fire to opening a portal in the middle of the ocean>Every issue Victor Von Doom, who is busy trying to cure cancer and end world hunger, has to put his project on pause and clean up Richards' mess.>One of Richards' dumb friends, either pyromaniac Johnny or lumbering Ben, causes Doom's recent finding to either fail or blow up while Doom is saving Richards>Doom shakes his head and says his catchphrase, "Oh, Richards! You bumbling fool!">Written by Victor V. Düm
>>151116544>ABSOLUTE MARVELThat was 2000s Ultimate, it even had some of your gay subversions. Maybe this thread was posted two decades ago, but instead it was>Lets be honest, we all know how reactonary DC is, i give them a year before they launch their own Ultimate like lineThe only exception was Spider-Man, because they needed to keep him positive>rich Spider-Man Already done
Absolute Blade would be the sickest fucking shit ever. Like, even more badassed than Absolute Batman, and Absolute Batman is Batman meets Resident Evil meets Metal Gear meets Berserk.
>>151116544They're already doing Radioactive Spider-man which is more or less the same fucking shit>what if that thing you knew was FUCKED UP and DARK and LETHAL
>>151116544Absolute Fantastic Four>They are all various criminals who were placed into a special experimental faster than light space program which will commute their sentence if they survive.>Reed is an unscrupulous professor who had no real regard for human life or feelings. He constantly made his students partake in dangerous and unsettling experiments with no care for the trauma he put them through and cannot really consider human emotion. He only cared about the experiment. He was arrested for random acts of cruelty and endangerment of more than a dozen students.>Sue was a wealthy, hedonistic party girl that only gave a shit about drugs, sex, and keeping the party going forever until she was cut off and sent to rehab. She and Johnny were in a car crash while high on coke that accidentally killed a family of 4 on the freeway.>Johnny is another out of control upper class party kid that spent more time taking drugs, going through different girls a night, and wrecking expensive cars.>Ben is a former gang member who was charged for murder, arrested, joined the army to get out of prison, and then placed back in jail after a dishonorable discharge for constantly refusal to follow orders and rebellious attitude.
>>151118124Stop trying to shill Absolute Batman. It's JUST a lamer gayer Spawn.
>>151116544Marvel already has the perfect setup for an Absolute Spider-man, so you just know they'll do absolutely fuck all with it:>Flash Thompson gets bitten by a radioactive spider and becomes an asshole superhero>His "uncle Ben moment" is accidently killing Peter ParkerThis is objectively way more interesting than just transplanting the Absolute Batman approach onto Spider-man when they're completely different character archetypes.
>>151116865My sister-in-law's a sexy Latina and her name is Janie-Maria. People just call her Janie. Her handle on AIM (remember that?) was JanieFromTheBlock.Also, you're basically making Spidie into Booster Gold
>>151116891Wonder Woman is from hell, but she's generally friendly.
These are all trying too hard when Patton Parnel is right there which is a really, really good point on how no one cares about Spider-Verse bullshit
>>151119296>generally friendlyShe's literally identical to regular Wonder Woman, but she has magic as well as all her other powers. God, AWW is a waste of a premise.
>>151119347She hasn't snapped enough necks yet.
>>151116908>I swear to god that shit only becomes relevant once or twice for crossover events.well yeah its part of the spider-verse shit otherwise Miles gets all the totem and champion stories nowit's also been forgotten that Pete is a champion of cosmological entity Destiny and all the shit he's going through is supposed to be for some big battle
>>151117807>vagina instead of navel
>>151116865nigga, Uncle Ben is THE essential part of Spider-Man.Absolute Spider-Man should not have an Uncle Ben or any character taking his role..
>>151118621>Not making Ben an Israeli war criminal
>>151119601But if he was he'd be a free man in Israel.
>>151116891>There's more to absolute versions than grimdarkThe grimdark is pretty thin, honestly they have been pretty weak on all fronts
>>151116544Unironically sounds cool
>>151116544>No hyphenWow there, lets not get carried away.
>>151117908>Kek. As a free person of Latveria I would buy every issue of this multiple times.
>>151119296That one is lame so far because it feels the same.
>>151119347She should have been a witch who later realize she is an amazon.
Just have the nearest commie retard collaborate with someone who draws like Todd McFarlane took anatomy lessons from Rob Liefeld, and then smear the resulting putrescence over a cardboard cutout of Spider-Man.
I think nobody understand here that the Absolut universe is one were the demiurge is Darkseid and thus the deck is stacked against the heroes and removed of the conections that make them whole.
>>151120718Except Wonder Woman.
>>151120718Is that consistent though? Even if the Martian lacks a direct home, his human host has a family which is a step up.
>>151116544>chains instead of websso fucking dc
>>151116865Absolute Vulture would just be Noir Vulture from Shattered Dimensions but with those life/youth-draining powers some of his other incarnations have
>>151116865>MJnah make it Gwen. Absolute Peter would fuck gobbo up before she'd get killed. Honestly surprised shes not alive in most alts how does every Peter fuck up with her. Also tired of MJ
>>151117881What would Absolute Samus be like?
>>151121284A Cronenberg from all the genesplicing she's been subjected to.
>>151116544>Super rich gigachad Spider-manBeen waiting for it since '98
>>151120718Tell Darkseid there's only one number funnier than 5445
>>151121434He probably has a bunch of weird health problems if he is part Iron Man.
>>151119601He's some lowlife gang member piece of shit from Brooklyn. He's not that kind of guy.
>>151121043Why is DC so attached to the idea of being the ultra edgy >Fuck yeah bad ass!!!!brooding dark grimdark company anyway?
>>151116544>poorer than usual
>>151116544I chuckled at the coffin remark.
>>151121565you mean the shit regular Peter has?
>>151122867I meant more in the line of getting your nervous system parasitized. But since nothing went wrong with that Peter, couldn't be skipped.
>no hypheninto the trash it goes.
>>151117870We been got Absolute Iron Man.
>>151123680There are so many strange interactions with technology among Iron Man stories already I wonder if the way forward would just be a magical metal golem.
>>151123876>The Iron Man
>>151116544>that fucking logo that evokes Uncle Ben's coffinthat's just the Batman logo KEK
>>151116544>>151116553Captain America is from 1776 but doesn't have the serum, just a super-strong shield that only he is able to carry
>>151123680>>151123876>>151123943Kang attempts to kill Tony Stark by sending him into the past (around the Dark Ages) and atomizing him but unknown to Kang, Tony's spirit and atoms merged with the nearby iron ore, which starts to shape itself into humanoid form over decades. Legends of medieval times report sightings of a lumbering man made of iron that looked like a mass of iron shaped like a man. Still over time the iron starts changing and refining itself to look like the gold armor by the Victorian era:https://ironman.fandom.com/wiki/Model_01_V2as that was the armor he was wearing when Kang killed him. He speaks like Swamp Thing and has vague memories of being Tony Stark and vague memories of his smarts which helps him right wrongs.
>>151124286>He was turned to steel in the great magnetic field>When he traveled time for the future of mankind
>>151116544>B-b-but UltimateJust read Ultimate, bro.
>>151116544Radical
>>151122506Because it's cool.
>>151124176Absolute Captain America uses the exact same backstory as Absolute Bane, but in AMERICA!His mask is the American Flagafter getting disillusioned, he ditches the venom and government work and goes to work exclusively for the average Joe, by partnering with a man literally named Average Joe, who used to be General Infantry
>>151126245Will USAgent or Nuke appear in his story?
>>151124176But he's a firm believer of Shay's Rebellion
>>151126673Yes but USAgent will be USA gent,a frozen redcoat spy and Nuke will be bucky whos all natty after timeskipHe became mcarthurs walking atom bomb by murdering koreans into genocide after actual nukes were denied
>>151116553>1776Native American magic turned him into a Super Soldier to fight against the British?
>>151116544I'd just pull from The Spider and other Shadow-adjacent hero pulps as an influence for Absolute Spider-Man >Peter became Spider-Man and immediately used it to sell out, providing for Uncle Ben and Aunt May>despite being rich, famous, and safe, Peter's life is still hollow and he lacks emotional fulfillment>one day, he witnesses superheroes duking it out with criminals, risking their lives to protect the innocent>inspired, Peter then strikes out on his own only to get his ass kicked and to be rejected by the public>as he licks his wounds, he is then visited by The Spider (a cross between the Spider-Man alter ego, the Venom Symbiote, Ben Reily, etc) who offers to guide him to a more successful path>Peter then "transforms" into the Spider Man and becomes something akin to a deranged heroic crackhead
>>151126753The twist is that in this universe it's Shay Marken instead of Daniel Shays
>>151116553>Captain America was a minuteman in 1776.>Decided to sell his soul to the devil for a chance to save his nation. >Mephisto immediately freezes him in ice, then thaws him out in 2025 with enhanced powers. >Cap becomes a tool for politicians who also sold their souls to Mephisto for the ability to dominate their opponents.>Cap starts out killing protectors and assassinating rival politicians because he does not know any better.
Just do a ROXXON universe like that awesome ROXXON PRESENTS: THOR issue. Make them all parody sellouts
>>151123876>>151123680 >There are so many strange interactions with technology among Iron Man stories already I wonder if the way forward would just be a magical metal golemMake iron man an AI that doesn’t realize it’s an AI - like an alcoholic version of the holographic doctor from Star Trek voyager?
>>151128769Alternatively, make iron man an alcoholic version of a cyborg with near full body prosthesis like robocop (after some near fatal helicopter crash or something).
What villains would make up Absolute Avengers?
>>151129425Iron Monger, Leader, Egghead, Loki, and instead of a Captain America villain he would fight the Fenris Twins, who would be CEOs like they were in Ultimate.
>Absolute Nova>Rhomann Dey saved Xandar from an exploding sun by using a device called the Nova Core to absorb its energy into himself>But now all Xandarians have to live underground as Dey finds a way to bring Xandar to a new system
>>151116581based
>>151116544Black Cat is a 90s sexpot who is constantly wanting to fuck, half cat, half huge boobs and a Leifeld gun, Spidermuscles wants nothing to do with her. He only wants the Spidergains.
>>151116945It sounds like what you deserve
>>151116544Absolute Spider-Man should be the most reasonable Marvel hero, should have a iron-clad and constantly expanding set of rules that forbids him from killing villains.Would only consider it if said villains fit minimum 80% of the criteria he has unless they do something so unforgivable they instantly land into his shit list.That and calling out heroes for fanatically following the no kill rule all the time and telling them they have the blood of innocent people on their hands for not thinking of methods to at least permanently incarcerate the more murderous super villains or at least finding a method to take away their powers.
>>151130864>Absolute Spider-Man should be the most reasonable Marvel hero, should have a iron-clad and constantly expanding set of rules that forbids him from killing villains.Bro, fuck off. He's already like that. It's still fucking dumb.
Pitch me Absolute Punisher
>>151117908Speaking of Doom, how would you change/fix him so he feels less like Eastern European stereotype written by a dude on the 50 who never met a gypsy in their entire life?
>>151126673Both. Worn as gloves to punch the supernazis harder.
>>151131183Latveria is the model of mobile home he lives in.
>>151116544>evokesReminds me of this.
>>151116544Far right dork bros …did we just lose ?
Absolute Iron-Man works for AIM as an engineer, and does superhero stuff after hours. He builds weapons and shit on the fly.
>>151132016I kinda like this new Iron-man.
>>151132068His visor would go all the way around his helmet, so he could do cool shit where he shoots a laser all the way around himself
>>151132006I accidentally read that as “they’re his children” and now I’m imagining Absolute Peter Parker having an unhealthy attachment to the spiders and talking to them like his kids
>>151132006>>151132016
>>151116544>Poorer than usualHow about a crippling gambling debt? Then, once Peter gets spider-sense he becomes impossibly good at poker (since he could read other players and not just relying in a sort of magic warning for bets), and as he gets more money he starts using more tech in his fights. Also a poker table would be a great way to introduce and interact with side-characters like Harry, Flash or Eddie, just to name a few
>>151132740>as he gets more money he starts using more tech in his fightsEnough with the tech. Bro has POWERS. Use them.
>>151132801Spider-Man is someone who started out as a high school science wiz and built web shooters, spider-tracers and various other things that improve Spider-Man beyond simply what being bitten gave him.
>>151133021How is he SPIDER-man if the actual spider part comes from tech? His powers aren't exclusive to spiders, and can mean any bug or a fucking lizard. The Raimi movies had it right by giving him organic webs, making him more spider-like and playing into the body horror aspect. That shit's cool. Being some four eyed geek making gadgets isn't. Especially since it's the nerd part that gets played up over the much more important jerkassery, making him lame as fuck.
>>151134208If he was entirely jerkassery, he doesn't need spider bite or technology. He could just beat up bad guys with his fists.
>>151116544what's the point when we already Rek-Rap
>>151128769>>151128806>>151132016Iron Man 1: AIM scientist who does superhero stuff after hours but later on is badly injured in an attack and becomes a cyborgthen later on his consciousness is used to make an AI that doesn't realize it's an AI, creating Iron Man 2
>>151119045Ansolute Spider-Man still has to be Pete. It's still Bruce Wayne who's Absolute Batman. It's still Diana who's Absolute Wonder Woman. Just make him not a nerd and go from there. Play up the jackassery. Have becoming the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man be the endgame for his arc.
>>151134308What would Absolute Rek-Rap be like
>>151134308Writers need to stop making characters with no intent on using them.
>>151116581kino
>>151134208I don't think you read enough Spider-Man
>>151130971>Bro, fuck off. He's already like that. It's still fucking dumb.No. Mainline avoids killing. This one however won't hesitate the moment lines are crossed. And no holding back, no last-minute stopping. The moment he decides after combining everything for, heads will roll and not even the Avengers would stop him (would even call them out on them trying to stop him despite say Carnage eating a whole kindergarten).
>>151116544DC beat them at their own game.
What if Peter Parker bites the spider and it turns humanoid?
>>151137191Spider-ham
>>151116544Mephisto gets possessed by BND/Slott/Wells/etc Spider-Man. He looks like that Absolute Spiderman drawing but more red and the blue replaced with black and with Mephisto hair showing, and also has chains and a cape.He becomes a mockery of the way Spider-Man has been since BND, and also parodying Spawn, Absolute Batman, and Batman Who Laughs, plagued with self-doubt and blaming Parker's Luck all the time. He is on the surface Super Rich Gigachad Spider-Mephisto by day (despite things fucking up), and it's a parody of that time during Slott's run where he and whoever else decided it was a good idea to make Peter into Tony Stark. By night he turns into Mephisto but with the physically weak body of pre-spider bite Peter Parker and no powers, so he is way more vulnerable to villain and supernatural threats. He relies on a group to help him during that time of vulnerability. Remember those Robins that Batman Who Laughs has? Spider-Mephisto has them too, but they're based on certain people both real and fictional and look like chibi-style versions of those people:
>>151138110The ApPauling Rabin:While in Poland, and having to trick an angry cult, Zeb Wells used his sorcery to create a religion around a version of Paul Rabin who joined his father instead of killing him. Paul and his father destroyed multiple worlds before manifesting in Spider-Mephisto's world, and killing many of the cult. Zeb flees from the remaining cult members while Spider-Mephisto shows up to take Rabin under his wing by squishing him down to chibi-form.The Scar-lie Cooper: Carlie Cooper was experimented to give her X-23's claws and abilities, but then an explosion happened. Now not only is she like X-23, but she can transform into a car that has blades and also shoots knives. Visually in car form she looks like a Mini Cooper combined with Pochita from Chainsaw Man. In human form she acts like a feral animal who only communicates in growls and grunts. In car form she talks like regular Carlie Cooper.The OnSlott: Dan Slott as Onslaught. After one too many online fights Slott rageposted a bunch of gibberish and unwittingly wrote a code that activated a flaw in the Pinnacle computer chip. Slott absorbed the nerd rage of the internet with his own nerd rage, went out on a rampage and ate Xavier and Magneto's brains on display at a museum exhibit (they were killed by the government decades prior and their brains put on display) and became OnSlott.The Lowe-Bar: Nick Lowe, but with the ability to transform into a low crossbar. Problem is that it's usually Spider-Mephisto and the others helpers tripping over him instead of the foes.The Jokersada:Joe Quesada as a parody of various Jokers, Absolute Joker, and Violator/Clown from Spawn. Is a thorn in Spider-Mephisto's side despite helping him. Every time he gets hit, the word "damaged" shows up on his forehead. Can sometimes transform into a huge beast with a giant toothy mouth.
>>151138120The Zebediah Springfield: Zeb Wells, who had to escape from the angry cult survivors, changed his name to Zebediah Springfield, founded the town of Springfield and then turned himself into a statue. Bart Simpson beheaded the statue not knowing it was actually alive, and Zeb came to life and turned the entire town of Springfield into undead Zombies who do his bidding. As for Bart, before he was turned into a zombie, Zeb put Bart on a plane and then while the plane was 50 feet off the ground, threw Bart out the window, turning him into a hyperrealistic corpse. Zeb then reanimated Bart into a zombie. And every time zombie Bart disobeys Zeb's orders, Zeb uses his magic powers to make Bart relive that moment. Bart swears revenge on a regular basis. Spider-Mephisto gets frustrated at asking Zeb to do shit because Zeb usually delegates it to some Zombie Springfielder, with mixed results, especially from Bart. The Tom Tom Tigger:Tom Brevoort combined with Rum Tum Tugger, Tigger and the Leave the Corporation Alone guy from the meme. While watching a showing of "Cats", Tom Brevoort was unaware the Rum Tum Tugger actor was once bitten by a Tigger, and had the Curse of the WereTigger. While in midperformance the actor started transforming into a WereTigger and bounced into the audience to attack them. Brevoort got bit and the chemicals from the actor's makeup also got into his bloodstream, turning Brevoort into the Tom Tom Tigger.
>>151116544>harder punchesPeter could just use an extra 1 percent power
>>151116544>>Captain America but as a rebel freedom fighterBut he's fighting to own slaves.
>>151116544>Super rich gigachad Spider-manWe already have two of those.
>>151116553Geoff Johns did that with a literal redcoat
>>151138110>>151138120>>151138125Deserves more appreciation for mocking the idiots at Marvel this hard. Brevoort definitely needs to have a "deliberately trying to make people angry" aspect though.
>>151116544>Stephen Rogers is a broke guy from the year 5771>he tried to enlist in the GLOBAL army, as the concept of nation doesnt exist anymore in the future, but he failed cuz he is a weak pussy>a bum, with a big heart, but still a bum>reads in an old forgotten museum about the various deeds of a nation called "America", its founding fathers and superheroes>inspired by this forgotten nation, he decides to become a superhero and travels back to the past>gradually begins to understand the past and slowly begins to embody ye olde American DreamPic unrelated
>>151137141DC beat them so bad they gave up after two years.
>>151137191>>151137406
>>151141262
>>151116544>We need extremely edgy subversion breaking versions of characters to go along with thisNeed is a strong word bur instead of doing 90s edgy antiheroes I think we can go for the fucking depressing vibe of experimental comics.>Spider-ManParker is a dipshit influencer that gains super powers while he was doing a tik tok video inside a restricted area in one of those urban explorers videos. He becomes even bigger showing off online and eventually bad people bag him under the orders of a mega corporation that seek to extract his blood, spinal fluid, harvest his organs and even clone him.He manages to escape, killing his captors in the process.Parker is later accused of trespassing and murder, he is pretty much framed and him being somewhat of a retard fails to defend himself and he is then thrown into Rikers.At Rikers several assassins try to get him but underestimate his strength and get themselves killed.Other inmates see this, and make Parker their leader.Parker eventually gets to know all the metas and all the people who were screwed over time by corpos like Oscorp, with one Dr Otto Octavious telling Peter how him and his crew could get more power. Peter has his sentence extended from 20 years to life.Knowing he is screwed anyways, organizes his crew and create a riot in which they eventually escape.Parker returns to the lab site where he fights fucked up clones of himself and other failed super soldiers.His crew use the weaponry and experiments left behind under the guidance of Octavious to become the Sinister Six.
ABSOLUTE CAPTAIN AMERICA
>>151132463yeah its shitty mspaint stuff i just wanted to visualize it
has no one made a white power version of spider-man yet?
