>oldest human being in creation>behaves like angry video game reviewer on YouTube
I want to touch Carmilla's big hands
>Get defeated by the superior twink
>>151324380ONE GUY?! NO CONTINUES?!
>>151324398Carmilla clawjob sexo
>>151324380because the human condition is the same no matter where you are
>>151324403You really really like that image.
>>151324380>angry video game reviewer on YouTubeThat genre is mostly dead. It's all about irony now.
>>151324380>was personal friend of God, literally walked with him>is the shows closest to depicting a relationship with God>make him a fucking idiot and villain and more evil than the people in hell hrmmmm
>>151324380Yeah thats just how men are
>>151324380Read genesis, he totally does
Cain's gonna be revealed to be a closet homosexual who was abused by Adam, isn't he?
>>151324380Charlie's hotel is a shitload of fuck. I'd rather put my balls in hellhound's mouth while shoving my head up Valentino's asshole!
>>151324380People don't know how to write adult characters anymore, because it's been like at least 15 years of kid characters or adults who act like kids with few exceptions. >I actually really like campy immature adults too. >Because a lot of adults are actually that immature>But now it is getting noticeable nobody knows how to write competent adults
>>151324380The joke is that he thinks he's special for being the first asshole retard on earth when there's been a billion asshole retards just like him
>>151326017>he thinks he's special for being the first asshole retard on earthHe kind of is though. Every other asshole retard benefitted directly from him having to figure out how to live in a world gone to shit with absolutely no guidance or predecessors to tell him how to do it. His creators were basically absentee parents.
>>151324380Adam owes me sex
>>151324398yet her feet are so tiny
Hazbin Hotel? More like Hazbin SHIT Hotel! Redemption my ass. What a shitload of motherfucking bullfuck.
>>151324380>a first MAN>in a show written by a womanI wonder why.Women can't write threatening male villains. They always make them caricatures of their ex-boyfriends and such.
>>151327711Lute...
Being angry and outrage really was a concept created by the video-game sphere on youtube, anon, this really has nothing to do with the fact that is the only cultural reference you have towards the idea.I'm sure when maquet was writing the count of monte cristo he was thinking "yeah, this is going to be just like a sketch on nostalgia critic were he tries to take revenge on a studio for a bad movie lmao", it was probably his intent all along.
>>151327949>making a bunch of youtube rants is exactly like writing a novel
>>151324380Watching retards keep doing same mistakes over and over again for countless generations probably kills few braincells.
>>151328483Not as much as thinking you can do better and not
>>151324398Why is /co/ forever obsessed with large-handed women
>>151328686The first of this posts date to the origin of the board when someone posted imagine the handjobs
>>151328686It's an uncommon design choice I find neat when it's a feature of a single character instead of just the artstyle
>>151328686Because she could make you cum in one stroke...
>>151324380Because he's written by a woman who doesnt know how to write and has zero actual life expirience
>>151328704Oh Felicia, my furry nun queen, you were too good for this era.
>>151328784A fat, liberal, nepo-baby, goblina women. But yes, you are correct.
>>151325793>I'd rather put my balls in hellhound's mouthDon't threaten me with a good time.>while shoving my head up Valentino's asshole!He's from fuckin' Florida!
>>151328806PerfectBad guy is insta hateable
If only Micheal was there to beat Lucifer's ass a second time.
Havent seen the season, all I know is Heaven is anemic and is apprently doing NOTHING to stop the tv man proudly screaming how he's going to invade Heaven??Like just because demons CAN now kill you just means git gud, you are heaven you have had all the time in the world ot get good at fighting.
>>151328881That's what I said
>>151328871>Michael did something to my ass alright>Gay sex, amirite?
>>151328911Lu needs more unfunny funny lines
>>151328881>No.>We will let the TV man speak.
>>151328686Because our dicks are so big we need a woman that can strangle our meat.
>>151328924I'm kinda hoping Vox using him as a power source in the next episode somehow convinces heaven to remove his limitations on not hurting sinners, and we get to see him at full power against the bitch that is Vox.
>>151328939I was really hoping "I can't smite the sinners" was literal, and Lucifer kicked Vox square in the groin and pointed out there's a lot he can do that isn't smiting.
>>151328939Not me, dismissive Lu works better on context Vox rival is Alastor, Vox can't hurt Charlie Lu don't have to care
>>151328953That would've also been very well within Lucifer's character, or just summoning one of the other fallen, who have no such limitations. Hell, imagine Mammon forcing Vox to promote his clown bullshit for eternity. That alone would be a fate worse than death.
>>151328975It was frustrating but necessary now the plot can move into anything but Lu beats everything
>>151328924I still think about his>you like girls? so do it haha
>>151328991You know he and Adam were running the Eifel Tower on Lilith and Eve...
>>151328991Yeah it was refreshin af to see that was his character What would raise a demon like charlie well that
>>151324380Actually, the oldest person in the bible is Methuselah.
>>151327700No one gets an award for being raised like a feral cat. All you get is being mal adjusted.
>>151329002>>151324380BIBLED!
>>151329005Please no one in school will deny a participation award to the kid obviously not helped by their parents
>>151329029That's the reason schools are failing.
>>151329055Yeah and not genshin impact..
Don't forget to wash your lieutenant.
>>151328924>One time I told Michael it was time for a revolution, and he turned 360 degrees and flew away!>Wordplay, cracks me up!
>>151329005It's not the angels' guidance or lack thereof that would get an award because that wasn't up to him, it's getting humanity kickstarted in spite of that and Lucifer's meddling. You can point out his flaws without dismissing the stuff he actually did.
>>151329097such a cute little fella
>>151329097I love this dumbass.
>>151329105According to satanism that well is the topic here lucifer lightbringer is like the original prometheusGave us rubber ducks who do backflips
>>151325707>actually knew god personally, like the entire origin of sin and punishment>doesn't know what God considers to be right or wrong, or why people go to heaven>talks casually in ep1 how much promiscuity and sin he commits in heaven unpunished
>>151329132Boy do I love Lucifer.
>>151329156why even make it Adam at that point
>>151329156>Some people in hell are decent people who made a mistake and should be allowed redemption >Some people in heaven are hypocrites who are only there because of nepotism It's not that deep.
>>151329175Or technicalities like puppies they were so young...
>>151329175yeah but that's like the complete opposite of the Adam and Eve story. They got kicked out for doing something wrong
>>151329171Because, like the vast majority of Americans, vivzieblob's notion of Abrahamic faith is just vapid symbolism and vibes, and Adam and Eve are biblical figures that everyone recognizes.
>>151324380This show is highly satanic because it has DEMONS
>>151329186Satan is only a minor character though
>>151329184I think you underplay how this works, if and only if religion is real she just express what it is with fantasy, like ed edd and eddy and rude kids
>>151329171Really it should have been the angels who were put in charge of keeping Adam and Eve out of Eden. They likely don't think too highly of people and would have been better to be borderline retarded about killing sinners
>>151324380I'm pretty sure anyone would go insane if they stayed in heaven for that long
>>151329194In this heaven, god yesBut I think is not like that like Lilith who just hangs at the beach
>>151329210Living isolated could be quite nice, but living among these naive angels would make me snap eventually
>>151324380>show written by misandrist >anon is surprised that the original man is written as a man-childBro c'mon, it's obvious.
>>151329183The whole show completely messes with the Adam/Eve story. Lilith doesn't exist in it, the serpent isn't Lucifer, the fruit wasn't free will but the more sinister aspects of knowledge (deceit, doubt, that sort of thing)Hazbins version has no basis in even modern interpretations
>>151329227I assume is the fun of sin
>>151329229>show written by misandristSince when? If anything she sucks at writing women and gives preferential treatment to male characters and relationships.
>>151329268Is a female play alongYes sir the manhater all the way, males will never amount to anything without us
>>151329298Nice stroke.
>>151329315I had to, I knew the consequences of not redirecting anon's energy
>>151329171To tie in the creation characters. It leads to people thinking there's more going on with Adam than it seems, because by all rights there should be, but as of yet there's very little about his characterization that says "First Man" besides him saying it himself. I'm hoping for the sake of something more interesting that his story isn't just being born an asshole and dying an asshole. That's a pretty weak way to use such a well-known mythological figure even if you hate him, but because it's pigziepop my hope is like a grain of sand.
>>151329421Good, and stop nicknaming billzipap
>>151329421There's very little characterization about him that says anything but "man bad".He's not even a cool villain, all he has going for him is powerlevels. Both Alastor and Vox mog him in terms of sheer presentation.
>>151329443Am going on a limb here but I feel like Adam is like an only child who just don't get people
>>151329443Both of those retards don't have swag.They are literally gay. Meanwhile Adam has an army of babes that love him.
>>151324380Why do they think that pointless cursing makes you look like an adult? Even in reality, everyone will just think you are a childish and noisy person, and then avoid you.
>>151330338You know what? If the pajeet just dropped the pretense and made a DmC animated series, I would've actually started respecting him for it.I mean, nobody likes DmC except for the journos who dismissed all the complaints to "muh white hair" so God knows who the audience of that series would've been, but that would've Shankar accepting his flaws as a writer and that DmC is much closer to something he himself would write. Would've shown a lot more humility than forcing his style of writing on the franchises that don't work with it (like Devil May Cry and Castlevania).
>>151330338because for some reason excessive cursing = adult
>>151330401*would've been
>>151329005Adjusted to what? He was the only man on earth. He gets to define what maladjusted is.
>>151329156Making Heaven and its occupants evil really does destroy the whole premise of the show.Evil people go to hell but also go to heaven i guess?
>>151329097GOD he's handsome~
>>151328871>MichealI would also take the holy smack down force of Peter, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Thaddaeus, Simon, and MAYBE Judas.
>>151330338>>151330404because millenial/early gen Z can't depict sexuality, on screen "All sex except homosexual is rape" or something, they aren't mentally mature enough to talk about "adult" topics due to the fact that americans coddle their kids and treat 16-23 years olds like 5 years olds.>You can't depict sex, because "non-homo sex is rape". >You can't talk in a mature tone about mature topics, because your brain's development is on the level of a child.So all you have left is edgy language, and only in a way that is politically correct, which means cursing.
>>151328871Lucifer vs Blucifer
>>151331504So what your saying is we need brothels so we can get the treatment r63 loona got from those 3 hookers in that AU green text
>>151331504>AmericansYou mean woke culture right?
>>151328871i prefer the real michael
>>151329171Since Adam is the capital p Patriarch of the Abrahamic faiths, and one if its most iconic characters, Adam is given all the traits associated with them. For modern works like Hazbin, which view Christianity as a spiteful boy's club that resents change and happiness, Adam is made to embody these characteristics.
>>151329171Easy to clown on.
>>151325745Making the offspring of the first man a fag would be fucked up and funny at the same time given the only options were your dad and brother. How was he supposed to his rocks off
Kain!
>>151324380Then what is Eve's personality?
>>151331785Yeah, I prefer this true Michael. And Not that clown LGBT shit.
>>151324380His facial hair is gross
>>151333908He's a gross person in general.
>>151332521I imagine her's being like that of a seductive woman or the Eve in this cartoon short who funnily enough already had a seductive personality.
>>151330338>>151330404>>151331504Because if you pay attention to the actors at cons or interviews, they're just fucking around and having fun. Sam Haft said in an interview he liked Husk saying "fucking Mai thai" and Borle saying "Bottomest bitch" because its fun to hear these well regarded actors saying wild stuff. Its like Patrick Stewart in American Dad but for the whole cast. They're just not taking this show as seriously as you want them to.
>>151324380white man bad
>>151327700>His creators were basically absentee parents.Adam and Eve had the ability to directly to speak to God and angels whenever they wanted. They were the only humans privileged enough for that. By that metric, they had it BETTER than any other human after them and had to be in constant doubt if God even existed.
>>151334173In this show they only got the Seraphim who don't know shit. Adam making up the rules on the fly at the trial after being asked by the beings who should know themselves communicates the nature of their relationship. It's likely not the first thing he's had to figure out on his own because the angels were unhelpful.
>>151334151He shouldn't be white, he shouldn't even be American, dude is the first human being in the universe
again idiots take a sandbook too serious
>>151330338Because millenials lived in an era with heavy censorship from Christian fundamentalists
>>151331785Imagine this being the ending
>>151335047Like this Adam design?
>>151335446I, AM STEVE
>>151325745Well, Adam was designed to be fat, that's vivzie's way to designate evil bastards that are the source of all evils
>>151335390That would be awesome
Would Lewis have approved of Hazbin?
>>151330338That's a very hypocritical thing to say on 4chan considering how often people here swear. Look at how many threads /v/ makes to whine about getting banned from games for saying nigger.
>>151324508kek
>>151324380That is what happens when all your animation is written by spoiled suburbanites who exclusively socialized online
>>151328686Why don't YOU dough?
>>151324380>"White man bad!": the characterExplained everything to you in a nutshell.>>151335376>implying that millenials have never experienced '80s and '90s media with Michael Jackson's crotch grabs or scantily-clad teenswew, ngmi
>>151335446Can hazbin Adam fight Zeus himself?
>>151335390Bruh, the Ultrakill effortlessly mogs HH, it wouldn't even be fair
>>151324380Watch faggot shows, get faggot writing.Kill yourself.
>>151336472This.
>>151328483Sigh would.
>>151333933Ah, makes sense then.
>>151333908I know two girls who only date guys who look like that.
Lute's hot so he won.
>>151342328Why didn't he fuck the craziness out of her?
>>151342511he did, she needed regular Original Dick dicking her down to keep her sane, now she's gone more than a month without her fix and she's going through withdrawl
>>151342872Hhhot.
She jobbed.
>>151329251The fruit never was free will. It was a knowledge, but the knowledge they weren't ready to take but still decided to take a shortcut because they believed it would make them GodYou can see that they were unworthy and out of depth by immediately pushing the blame instead of owning what they did
>>151327877... Not even Hazbin Outhouse? It was right there for fuck sake.
>>151332521I presume she was submissive person that grew really bitter after a while under Adam. There's a decent chance she tricked the guy into eating the Apple but that would be too cleaver for HH.
>>151327877Isn't the message that anyone can be redeemed good?
>>151346406No, because they got lost in the weeds.
>>151346671so does the bible
>>151345063How can you punish someone who had no knowledge of what was right or wrong? Let alone punish not only them but all of their descendants for it?Original Sin is a retarded concept made to invoke shame and debt to God and his church.
>>151346684No, the point of the Bible is submit to God and you won't suffer, as much of, his his wrath. The reason for his wrath is mostly meaningless.
>>151324380The irony is that's not entirely out of Adam's character.They both basically mentally hit puberty after the Apple. The first sins ever committed after the apple was bitten were>Eve lying>Adam talking shit to God like a moody teenager screaming "You don't know me, dad!"It's actually one of the flaws which prevents the Lilith myth from being compatible with Christianity, Christian lore Adam wouldn't care about making her sexually submit because he basically lacked a sex drive, he and Eve were mentally just kids.
>>151345063To be exact, the apple is the knowledge of good and evil. >>151346801>>151346703There's a pretty good reading of the Adam and Eve story that equates it as allegorical to child rearing.When you make a kid, bring them into the world and make them a home, you do everything in your power. There are little rules around behavior but the biggest ones you make are usually for their own safety, but the contradiction of good parenting is that it means giving them the foundation needed to disobey you. This disobedience will inherently lead to them losing the innocence you wanted to bad to protect and facing the cruelty of the world. At that point the most you can do is give them what might be needed to survive (both when they first leave you and when you give them inheritance) and hope for the best having the faith you raised them right.The banishment from the Garden wasn't simply God punishing Adam and Eve. Long story short, while our current Christian perception portrays God as omnipotent planner of all, the myth probably wasn't made that way. Look at other omnipotent all knowing gods from the time like Zeus and it's more inconsistent than you think. Just like Zeus could control all but fate, Yahweh seemed to have his own limits in the old Testament. One of these is that the introduction of 'evil' via eating the apple meant the Garden had become unsustainable and he couldn't just magically remove that knowledge once they bit it. It's why he couldn't just uproot the tree, the tree had to exist to contain all the evil
>>151346801Source?
>>151346925>he couldn't just magically remove that knowledge once they bit itOr he just doesn't because he let's humans have free will and they have to live with their choices.
>>151346941Not gonna lie anon, I forget where I read it. I think it was a Jungian take and I even remember lobster-benzos man talking about it.The larger scholarly reading around it is more based in the idea of likening it to an 'origin of evil/chaos' myth akin to Pandora's box.As for the specific reading of Yahweh, you need to remember that archaelogical literature suggests that he is at least partially designed as the amalgamation of other canaanite gods.Throughout the Old Testament, we get the sense of God as all seeing and Christians often explain the moments in which he interrogates as him already knowing but wanting to hear it from the horse's mouth. Yet Zeus and Odin were also both said to be all-seeing yet have similar moments in which they don't know something and have to interrogate, particularly in regards to the future/'fate' or in regards to "they simply weren't looking". When you look to Leviathan and Behemoth in Job, they're seemingly characterized as entities with which God had to do battle who existed outside the his scope of creation. In Jewish mythology, they were said to live West and East of the Garden specifically as the rulers of the watery abyss and the harsh deserts and mountains respectively.Leviathan is particularly interesting because scholarly literature has traced its origin to a different mythology entirely, Lotan of the Ugaritic faith. Defeated by Yam/Yanmu. The same religion they've been able to trace Baal back to>>151347035Well, this is part of the metaphor. Allow me to give a common parent quote."I gave you one rule!"Sneaking past a curfew, hanging out with the people you were told to stay away from, going to that party your parents felt seemed dangerous.That's sort of the allegory here. When a kid becomes a teen, the parent trusts them a bit more, but the rules still in place are usually there because the kid will just have to deal if something happens, if they live at all depending on their own dangerous actions
>>151329156yeah retard thats the point you dont sin in life to enjoy sinning in heaven or something like that
>>151335501I suppose He'd have appreciate the feeling. Lewis was also a firm beliver that Hell is a palce locked from inside and the only thing stopping sinners fromr edemption is their ego.Also nice Screwtape letters fan art.
>>151324380Making him a joke character inadvertently made it impossible to take Lute seriously
