Write the souless sequel that misses the point of the first Klaus movie and ruins it
>>151643406You can't make me
>>151643406Jesper’s kids get ipads and document Klaus’ existence causing him to lose his privilege to come once a year, forcing them to take the same mantle Jesper did all those years ago
We find out that Klaus is really magical but is getting old so he is choosing someone else to be the next gifts delivering being, and it's a black girl from harlem
>>151643406Fuck off netflix
>>151643406We find out Jesper was sexually attracted to Klaus and was a closeted gay with wife and family, Klaus returns and they gay kiss. Alva and the kids leave and Jasper is now the husband of Santa Claus and they gift presents together
>>151643406>Klaus appears at Jesper's house once night asking for help to save Christmas>Klaus, Jesper, and his kids travel to Oslo and find that the King is outlawing Christmas, Jesper's father is a part of the effort too.>Jesper's family stays at his father's mansion, but frequently clashes with Jesper's father who does not accept that he married a common woman and raises kids in poverty in a backwater>King of Norway turns out to be a poorly made Trump parody who outlawed Christmas for being too liberal and weak>Jesper goes to his father's royal mail HQ to intercept the royal decree to cancel Christmas>Ensuing wacky comedic sequence of Jesper trying to catch the royal letter while running through different rooms, sorting machines, through barracks, and stables>By the end Jesper manages to catch the royal decree, rips it up in front of his father and the King, the rest of the mail carrier employees agree with him that it was wrong. Jesper and Klaus threaten them never to rule against Christmas or there will be trouble. Klaus threatens the King with an axe>Everyone returns to Smearensburg with angry faces to go celebrate Christmas>The lesson is that sometimes family is just plain wrong and you should not feel bad for leaving them behind, also violence is good for getting what you want.
>>151643829That is so real it made me physically hurt
>The Duke of Orange, Junior - OJ for short - comes to Smearensburg for the Christmas season, and while everybody else takes fondly to him, the boat captain is immediately suspicious and believes he's there to kill everybody and destroy Christmas >He is correct.
>>151643406A young black girl wants to become a postWOMAN, but is inexplicitly told by Jesper she can't because she's a girl, and the young black girl invents Santa's sleigh using science and girl power and it turns out it was a Rudolph adaptation all along.
>>151643643>>151644012Yeah yeah Disney plus Santa Clauses, I get it
>>151643891That doesn't ruin, that's a perfect spinoff
>>151643658Lmfao
>>151643406No.
>>151643406For the cherry on top, make sure Klaus 2 is fully CG.
Is it still dead... ?
>>151643406This was a great movie, wish it could've gotten a theatrical release
DON'T MESS WITH THE POSTMAN
>>151644012Klaus needs to show up and tell Jesper he's WRONG, and that he HAS to train her as his successor.She also needs to be mega ultra competent at delivering letters.
>>151648008That's dangerously real
>>151648513She needs to be better at delivering letters than both Klaus and Jesper working together. Jesper is only there to really to be amazed and tell her she's perfect and be useless otherwise.He's also noticeably dumber and more comic-relief than in the first film. His own kids think the new girl is also cooler than him.There also needs to be a sophisticated gay Krum and Ellingboe couple in there somewhere.*Netflix gives seal of approval*
>>151648584Oh no Anon...you're thinking to little. We find out the Postmaster General (Jesper's father) wasn't the actual master but the subordinate of the REAL girlboss, a fat black lady with a giant afro. And she mentions how he was a no one before she gave him a job out of pity and so this new cooler than everyone black girl should be the new Postmaster Woman King and even the new Klaus and even the queen of Smeerenburg that managed in one day to resolve a thousands years old feud by her black girl magic.And then Jesper's kid call her their other mother because Alva was in a relationship with her in school and is implied she just settled with Jesper and also implied she will stay with her while Jesper realize he had his time and it's time for girls to take over while he quietly shut up
>>151648584>>151648863Horrible but this
There is also a kid with an out-of-place modern side-cut who sometimes wears Krum blue colors and other times Ellingboe red colors and they have scene where they take the movie's plot hostage to talk about their fluid identity because sometimes they feel like an Ellingboe and sometimes a Krum.
This post made me realize how un-Netflix Klaus actually is and how it's for the better.
Consider ALVA~
>>151650403Alva if Klaus was on Netflix
>>151649282Lmao and he is black despite never appearing before in this island and has no orange hairs or raven black hairs but a green (natural) hairs
>>151650449Holy shit wasn't she ugly enough for tumblr?
>>151652052Well for a movie where even the kids are ugly she was too pretty
>>151643406What even was the point of the first movie?
>>151652842It was an allegory for the christianization of Northern Europe.
>>151652842while empathy is a learned skill, compassion is intrinsic because Good Feels Good.
>>151652999Did Christianity even exist in that movie? An odd question considering the premise but I’m pretty sure there’s not a single direct reference to Christianity aside from generic secular Christmas stuff
>>151653738In Alva's classroom there is a picture of her next to two nuns so she's presumably a Catholic
>>151653738>>151654200Yeah secular Clausmas and nuns but never mention church or their denomination
>>151652842Feuds are stupid
>>151653738Do you not understand what an allegory is?Christianity isn't mentioned in the Narnia books either.
>>151655835In Narnia it's made clear Aslan is Jesus and that the Queen is from Adam Eve myth, in this it's secular Clausmas where no mention of Christmas as Jesus birthday and just funny posts thing
>>151656519Klaus is a metaphor for the wise men that deliver gifts in spanish christmas legend
>>151643829Just add in Jesper's father not accepting Jesper's clearly gay son, and maybe being outwardly racist to some ambiguously dark skinned employees at the royal sorting center and you got it!Also every few scenes there is a dark skinned woman wearing a hijab in the background.
>>151657113>Also every few scenes there is a dark skinned woman wearing a hijab in the background.Kek, I love how it's always the people that don't celebrate Christmas because Islam is not Christianity.
>pic related: the threadMan you niggers are pathetic.
>>151657233Yeah misery feed us, if you have a problem with that go be happy somewhere else
>>151657113She is the enby of >>151649282
>>151650449I thought the romance was tacked on and unnecessary.
