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>>151712142
can't get a job, I think I'll need to throw my lot in with one of the freaks
which one pays the best and is least likely to kill me? leaning towards two-face or penguin
at least rent is relatively cheap, especially around arkham asylum
also bruce wayne is batman right? nobody else could afford to lead that lifestyel

Hey anybody want to go to the history museum gala tonight? They've brought the Smiling, Double-Faced Sphynx all they way from Kandaq and they're unveiling it this evening. I'm sure nothing untoward will happen.

>>151712473

Become a cop, you fucking bum. They're always getting killed, so there are loads of vacancies, and it doesn't seem like there's an especially high barrier for entry. If you get killed at least it'll stop you from making shitty posts like this

>>151712493
why the fuck does anyone bring anything to this fucking shithole. if a freak doesnt show up and crash the party on the unveiling theyll just do it later when their theme bullshit tells them its time
the real answer is that rich assholes are in league with these freaks. theyre probably all moonlighting as one anyway to rip off other rich assholes and i think thats actually based

The current Robin who isn't a bratty little kid saved me from Two-Face, Bane, Gorilla Grodd and Destro when I was on my way home from buying groceries the other day. He is so much calmer under pressure, better looking, and more relevant than either of his older brothers, and I bet he's a real computer whiz and Batman loves him the most too.

>>151712494
no thanks, I heard what happened to crispus allen
I reckon police mortality is higher than goon mortality and I am trying not to die
has anyone seen batman? me personally, I think he's a myth.
a man who dresses like a bat? bullshit

>>151712510
Dilate.

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>>151712142
>Be walking down Main st to work at 5 in the goddamn morning
>Batmobile comes by and sprays piss & snow all over me
>Totals 5 cars on its way out
>its the 4th time this year
I hate this fucking city, fuck Batman fuck this city, I want to live in Metropolis.

Anybody know where the quiet Batgirl with the peach butt wrapped in black latex is hanging around lately? Just out of curiosity, it's not like I want to commit a crime only so she can beat me up haha that would be weird haha

>>151712538
Dude just hench for Ivy, she'll at least put out I've heard.

We all know the Batgirls are Batmans harem

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I DID IT!

I FUCKING DID IT!!! I'D LIKE TO GIVE A FUCK YOU TO:

EVERY SINGLE SHITHEAD AT BLACKGATE
THE GCPD
ARKHAM ASYLUM
WAYNE ENTERPRISES - SPECIFICALLY BRUCE WAYNE
THE DAILY PLANET - SPECIFICALLY THAT FARM BOY CLARK KENT
FORMER PRESIDENT LEX LUTHOR
EVERY SINGLE JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBER


I KILLED THE FUCKING JOKER.

>>151712619
WAIT THAT'S MY WIFE!
I SHOT MY WIFE!
HOW THE FUCK
HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO IT?!!

FUCK
FUCK
AAAAAAAAAAAA

Lousy Metropolis punks
Think they’re all good with their fancy clean drinking water
Well I tell you something, if I can’t taste the traces of fear toxin, Joker venom and Ivy pheromones in my glass of tap water then I’m not gonna drink it, simple as

>>151712619
>>151712642
/gco/ needs to ban fucking Jokerposting

>work as a bank teller
>somehow developed an immunity to Joker's laughing gas
>every time Joker robs us, I'm forced to laugh like an idiot and play dead
>never sure if he just doesn't recognize me or if he does and thinks its funny that I play along

Have you guys ever noticed how our homebred psychos are always white loners while the organized terrorist groups are all Asian, like the jeets in Kobra, and those weird arab-chinese ninjas that keep popping up in Gotham for some reason

>>151712619
>I KILLED THE FUCKING JOKER.
you know that's not enough. take off his pants, now.

>>151712512
>man dressing like a bat
Kek you must be new. I give you a week tops

>>151712619
Bro I killed the Joker like 3 years ago. He'll be back on the street by next week.

>>151713024
>have you guys ever noticed the west favors individualism whereas people from the east favor collectivism
Watch out everyone this guy just discovered communism

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>At the bank because none of the infrastructure has updated since the 50s so I have to write checks or use cash.
>Whole-ass wall explodes as plantacles and guys wearing lily pads on their faces storm the building.
>Might as well be an Ivy kind of day.
>Get pistol whipped by a motherfucker who I'm pretty sure is my barber.
>Close my eyes and remember that I only have to pay 350/month for rent and get paid 25/hour for bitch work at the chemical plant.

>Be Metroanon
>Move to Gotham due to Gotham water paying out the ass for Luthercorp degrees
>Get a call about sewerage overflow near the bay
>Killercroc has been sighted in the area
I-is it safe guys... he doesn't actually eat people right?

So where's that cute asian Robin?

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>>151712142
>wanna go to the museums new exhibit
>is closed, someone stole the artifacts
>wanna go to a saturday night show
>cancelled, someone killed the host and the entire audience with nerve gas last week
>wanna commute to work
>someone took over the train and is holding everyone inside hostage
>wanna visit my favorite restaurant
>entire block locked down because of some mass shootout
>wanna play some vidya
>electricity is gone, someone blew up the power plant
>wanna watch some tv one electricity is back online
>show program highjacked by some schizo
>toilet doesnt work, call plumbing
>plumber eaten by some lizard guy
>wanna stroll through the park
>park closed, plants came alive and ate people
>need some medicine, go see the doctor
>cant give me shit, some fuck put some crazy drug stuff into the pills
>go to local nerd convention
>is evacuated, someone murdered a cosplayer who went as Alice from Wonderland
>wanna go to the amusement park
>closed, some fuck filled it with death traps
>just wanna sleep
>evacuation order, someone released crazy gas in the block
>go back home
>some private miliata takes over Gotham and declares martial law
>look out of window
>some giant bat monster flies over my house, screeching bursts all my windows

>>151713477
>>151713646
>>151713908

It's shit like this is why I support Gotham City to be quarantined

>>151712473
Jeez anon Luther makes more than Wayne, you think he's Batman? Look anyway forget working for the crazies. You want a decent job just do what I did and get a blimp pilot's license. Easy AF and good money, so much work in this town for it.

>work desk job for random company
>department throws costume party
>find some cool owl mask at a local thrift shop
>wear it, together with some fancy coat from my last steampunk cosplay
>day later boss randomly increases my salary and promotes me
>whispers some shit like "i didnt know" and "everything for the court"
>suddenly treats me like employee of the month
wtf just happened

So I'm heading on a date with this cute chick from Gotham Academy, how do I not fuck up?

>>151714215
don't spill your spaghetti, it's that simple.

>>151714794
She's pretty shy.

hey i got hired for one of those Wayne Enterprises laboratories, they work with bats or something. I'm just gonna be doing some data entry and keeping things tidy at night. Wish me luck boys!

So anyone seen the cute asian Robin?

>>151712473
My uncle was a goon once and he got his shit pushed in by batman, fucked up his arm and my dad had to pay for that shit out of pocket as shock and surprise gooning doesn't have health insurance.

Fucking work at McDonalds you lazy ass

So anyone hear about how half of Arkham burned down cause some idiot raped an inmate's daughter during that mass breakout?

>>151714077
Dude, I went through the same thing during a Gotham Academy parent meeting. My kid got a scholarship due to being good at swimming, and I saw that all the rich parents also brought owl masks. I faked forgetting mine and I got handed one, and then I was invited into this weird sex club for the elites. Ended up getting myself a new job that pays waaaaaay more as well as a new apartment in the safe part of town.

You know what’s funny? Despite the club being for the rich people and bird theme, I didn’t see the Penguin there.

>>151716007
What kind of sex things?

Got my ass beat by Red Robin for the first time the other day while henching for the Riddler.
To be fair that was on me, I was too busy laughin' my ass off when I asked who he was and he said "Red Robin" all I could do was ask when was Yellow Robin and Blue Robin gonna pop out to join in, fuckin stupid ass name, at least the first kid went and changed to a cool unique name like Nightwing.

>>151716725
BDSM, and bird theme roleplay

>>151717057
Who did you see there?

>>151712142
Fucking Joker going around alleyways attempting to hire male prostitutes to dress as Batman and have sex with him again. Sometimes I cant even sleep at night because the Joker and the male prostitute are making so much noise despite being several blocks away. Damn GCPD or Batman need to do something about this.

Ice to meet you

>>151717075
They all wore masks so I’m not sure, but I tapped many rich milfs. I’m glad that I’m a single dad.

>>151712642
>>151712619
Samefag.
It's getting pathetic, John Doe.

>>151714215
Update on date. It was a success and we sorta had sex.

I just moved here from Hub City and I'm loving it so far. The streets are so clean, there's less homeless people lying around, and I've only had my car window smashed twice this year and only once when I was still inside.