Hey /co/, I wanted to rewatch Steven Universe and I thought it'd be fun to count the number of times people cry in each episode. If I can summon the autism I might do stats at the end of each season. Someone probably already did this but what the hell, I have no life. I will be strict and not count the sparkles in the eyes - I want to see a distinct tear, even if it's just a drop. Keep the thread bumped if this interests you!Starting with the Pilot, our main man Steven cries while thinking of a comeback for why he's such a buttface. He technically cries twice but they're so close together I'll count it as one. Also fun note - after using the hourglass Steven's still crying which means he retains any physiological effects prior to using the hourglass. You could do something cheesy like swallowing the fire-breathing powder then going back in time and applying it in battle.
>>152472164>I thought it'd be fun to count the number of times people cryThat's your idea of fun?
>Gem GlowMuch like the pilot, Steven cries in battle as he stuffs his face with cookie cats to try to summon his shield. He also cries afterward while delivering a eulogy for all those snacks he ate.>Amethyst: Are you crying?>Steven: ONLY A LITTLE!Honorable mention to Cookie Cat crying after leaving his family behind as Steven sings his theme song. The centipeedle is also a gray area since its eye is inside its mouth but I'm counting it as drool.>>152472326Hey I'm autistic, cut me some slack.
I think it would be easier to count very episode where a character doesn’t cry. It’s probably just the Uncle Grandpa episode which is coincidentally the only episode of SU that I actually enjoyed before giving up on the show. So many people telling me “it gets better after the first season” only to be completely and totally wrong.
>Laser Light CannonSteven gets misty-eyed a few times but it's Greg that ends up shedding a tear at the end while thinking about Rose. Really like the art direction behind this one, but I've always been a sucker for Rebecca's art. I was hoping the Red Eye would end up "crying" but the solid debris doesn't pass the sniff test.>>152472364Probably. My guess is that people cry in >50% of the episodes but I'm curious what the exact number is. Pizza Steve technically cries in that episode and I'm definitely counting that.
>Cheeseburger BackpackGoofier episode so nobody cries in this one. Here's a screenshot at them all gasping at Mr. Queasy instead. The Test recontextualizes this episode a bit but I'm still annoyed by how nonchalant they are about Steven's blunder.
>Together BreakfastNo tears here either. Not exploring the crystal temple in more depth is kind of a missed opportunity, I don't think the Crystal Heart ever comes back. Also this episode is a good example of the show's unique sound design.
>FryboPeedee cries a few times in this one when Frybo attacks Fryman (some of it might be the emotional catharsis from Fryman having a heart to heart) but I'll lump them together into one. Still, a pretty solid showing from a character who barely appears after this.A little surprised none of the gems have cried yet but at this point in the series we're still supposed to see them as the capable adults so that's understandable.
>Cat FingersSteven and Greg both cry when Steven turns into a giant blob of cats. Don't think I ever realized Amy shapeshifting into a blue jay was a Regular Show reference.Taking a break for now.
>Bubble BuddiesConnie cries as Steven traps her in a bubble and they sink to the bottom of the ocean. I can't tell if it's because she's going to die or because she has no friends. She seems to forgive him pretty quick afterward so I guess it was the latter.
Neat little project, anon. I may give the series a rewatch
>>152474203Hey, Billy, not to be petulant, but did you finish that remaining HW requests?
>Serious StevenNo crying, just butterflies in the eyes. Some of the wall paintings look a little wonky, Rose looks fine and I think she's supposed to be fighting Yellow but it doesn't seem like her design is finalized yet.>>152474203Thanks Billy, I'm having fun! Season 1 has a real innocence to it that's refreshing and fun to watch.
>>152474198Probably a bit of both
>Tiger MillionaireOne of my favorites. Given how sensitive Steven is I'm surprised he played heel this long before realizing everyone hated him. And of course it has one of the most iconic cries in the whole series, courtesy of Lars.
>>152472164Rebecca Sugar, you Whore of babylon...
>>152472164Before My HRT Academia, we had Steven Jewniverse
>>152474601Stop projecting, tranny
>Steven's LionAnother dry episode but it's a fun one. Maybe it's just the music but I could easily see this being a video game level. Also, how the hell did lion get to Beach City from the desert?
>>152474612>Steven Cooniverse xisters are also My Ladyboy Academia twatsHip Hip Hurray. The tykes grow up so fast
>Arcade ManiaSpeaking of video games... Steven cries after Garnet annihilates him with her superior meat beating abilities. That being said she's clearly using her future vision to predict the game's next moves which is cheating. Mr. Smiley's gotta be pissed at Steven for breaking his machines on top of that teacup incident. Guy can't catch a break.
>>152474749Nobody cares about your fetishes
>>152474989>It says as if SU is not a fetishist's dream come truePeople of Earth, lend me your cope.\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/
>Giant WomanSteven cries a couple of times in this one, first when Steven Jr. gets eaten and second when Pearl and Amy argue after failing to fuse. This episode raises an important point - I'll count cries for fusions separately from their individual gems. It's only fair.
>>152475092
Now this is a good thread.You've piqued my interest, OP.
>So Many BirthdaysThis is a big one. First Steven cries when he realizes he's middle-aged and then Pearl gives us the first Crystal Gem cry and goes on for a truly impressive 20 seconds. And even after she still has tears in her eyes for the next minute. We're not giving points for time but this has to be one of the best cries of the whole series. She even cries a few more times afterward but I still want to count it as one. Still, what a cry! The last few cries have been quick one-frame cries but she's set the bar very high. The stuff of legend.
>Lars and the Cool KidsLast episode was a tough act to follow, but this one does a good job. Lars gives us a solid social anxiety cry as Steven talks to the cool kids. Steven cries as he holds Lars back from swimming in the lake with the deadly moss then Lars cries in horror as the moss swallows up his friends. And finally, Steven ragecries for the first time when Lars talks shit about Rose. I'm counting that as two unique cries for both characters. Somehow that skyrockets Lars to 2nd place for most cries. No prize for guessing who's got 1st.
>Onion TradeNo crying here. Steven's gotta be the dumbest motherfucker alive to not notice that Onion's Ranger Guy also has a miscolored hat, especially when he's such a big Guys fan. I also don't like how this show tries to make this little psycho sympathetic.
>>152472164Why not just save all of us some time and tabulate your findings with a number per episode instead of making a post for each one
Anon, at this rate, you'll be here forever.
>>152476107Because then people would ask him "Uhhhm what's your source" or say "I don't remember that episode having crying. Liar!"
>>152475840Call it cringe but I actually enjoyed Steven crying from having his dead mother insulted.
>Steven the Sword FighterSteven cries after Pearl gets stabbed by Holo-Pearl. He cries a couple of times afterward - one while remembering Pearl and another when Holo-Pearl stabs the TV but I'm lumping those two together. A little surprised Pearl didn't cry after being stabbed but I suppose getting poofed is just a walk in the park for gems.>>152476107>>152476150It's more about the journey than the destination. I have a crappy excel file at the ready and I'll occasionally post stats.>>152476222Nah, it's nice seeing Steven nut up every once in a while.
>Lion 2: The MovieI retract my previous question, I forgot Lion can make portals. No crying in this one either. Never been a big fan of the lion episodes. He really is just a big pink plot device.
Phew! Just finished fapping to shota steven shooting a fat load on garnet's bare ass. Did I miss anything? What's up?
tl;drWhat's your favorite gem?
>>152476517I for one think that he’s neat
>Beach PartyAnother tearless episode. At least we got Amy's beach fit.>>152476642Pearl and Peridot, but the rest are fine too.>>152476656He's a charming plot device! It's cute that he just acts like a cat.
>Rose's RoomSteven cries after Rose's room glitches out and deletes the universe. Good thing too, a lot of these episodes have him cry at the very end and I thought it'd be weird if he didn't after going through all that.Honorable mention to the vidya character's dad who cries briefly.
>Coach StevenSteven cries twice in this episode but both are very brief - once at the beginning of the episode when Garnet says the EM waves will threaten television and once at the end while coaching Pearl. They're both blink and you'll miss it so it feels kind of cheap to count them but eh, whatever. Meanwhile, Pearl's cry is much more substantial as a result of Sugilite crushing her spirit. Steven's all quantity, Pearl's all quality. Pearl cries again at the end after Sugilite gets poofed (which seems moreso due to exhaustion and/or getting her friends back) so that's +2 for Steven and +2 for Pearl.
>>152476517That might be the most detailed cent ever put into a cartoon
>Joking VictimA lot of cries in this one! Sadie cries after learning that Lars faked his injury (and is trampolining with another girl.) Steven cries from laughter after Sadie pranks Lars with a fire salt doughnut and finally Lars cries after eating the doughnut. I think that also gives us our first cry as like, a response to a stimulus and not something purely emotional. I would've loved to make the pic Lars or Sadie but I can't say no to this face. Sadie also cries again at the very end after confronting Lars about his sleazy ways. I was worried it would be too hard to call because of the sprinkler but it was cut and dry, metaphorically speaking. Lars also has a cry near the end but it's ambiguous as to whether it's in response to Sadie or the spicy doughnut. I don't think I can give him the extra point but he still regains 2nd place.>>152477154I'm not sure that's true but it's rather nice. The show has pretty background art.
>Steven and the StevensWe're counting all of Steven's time-travel clones as Steven. With so many Stevens this could've inflated Steven's count like crazy but surprisingly only one of them actually cries. Must've been the sensitive one. Also feel free to correct me if you think my count is off, there could've easily been Stevens crying in those crowd shots.
>>152474989Cared enough to reply
>>152477310Lars being the silver medalost st this is pretty funny.
I think my brain would turn to much if I watched all of SU in one sitting. Godspeed, Anon.
>Monster BuddiesAgain, I think Centipeedle is too ambiguous so I won't give her any points even though it kind of seemed like she was crying when Steven hugged her. Steven had a good long cry in this episode that could arguably be split into multiple cries but ehh, he already has too many goddamn cries. There's this cool shot where Centipeedle pushes Steven back and he makes this tear trail though.>>152477543I'm shocked but not that shocked. Didn't have any expectations going into this.>>152477598It's already there. Don't worry though, I'll definitely take a break after we wrap up season 1A.
you're doing good work austism-chanI know it's the whole joke about the show, but I'm still surprised there's been crying in nearly every episode you've watched so far. And these are the S1 eps, so it's only going to get more self-serious...>Captcha: five pointed stars
>An Indirect KissDamn, not even a minute in and Steven's already crying when Amethyst is horsing around the cliff's edge. How ironic that they made a whole episode where Steven struggles to cry on command.>Steven: I guess I'm just too tough to cry.>Pearl: Just today you were crying about snakes.He manages to cry successfully when they're cornered by bramble bushes. It's also good that Steven doesn't have healing tears because he doesn't need more reasons to cry. Also this goes without saying but Rose isn't getting any points for her statue crying. Though I guess she had to cry a fucking lot to fill up a whole fountain. Is this where Steven gets it from?Connie also cries while Steven tells his story and Steven cries a third time at the end when contemplating his lack of magic tears. Three times in one episode is a lot even for you, Steven.>>152477798I'll post stats after wrapping up Season 1A, don't worry. Earlier I said I expected crying in more than half the episodes and uhh... that milestone has been reached.
>Mirror GemWe get our first Amethyst cry! It's a brief cry-laugh after putting MC Bear Bear on Pearl's symmetrical tower. Also for the record, if Lapis mimicked someone crying that would've counted as a cry for Lapis. When Garnet tries to snatch her there's some kind of liquid on Lapis/Steven's face and it's just too close to call since it easily could've been sweat. The original scene doesn't have any liquid so I have nothing to go off of. It's just as plausible that Steven was sweating after almost getting run over. Meanwhile, Steven sweats a lot in this episode without crying at all. This one's not ambiguous at all.Honorable mention to the human anatomy model shedding a tear.
>Ocean GemWith the whole cast showing up in this one episode I'm expecting major cries. Enter Mayor fuckin' Dewey. Dewey starts crying when Steven and the gang drive off to confront Lapis and he's STILL out there crying when they get back. I have to assume he's been crying for... a whole day?! Unfortunately the hose makes the volume of tears he's cried unclear but still, an impressive feat. This must be why he's in charge. I could believe this show has a cryocracy. He also cries again when Steven returns but this one's more out of relief than despair, so he gets another point.There's a bit of wiggle room since Lapis is covering all the characters in water but I don't think anyone cried during the fight. I will also give Greg a point - even though he doesn't physically shed a tear you can see the sparkles in his eyes and he blows into a hankie after his van is totaled. Close enough.Now with Season 1A over, stats are coming next.
Here's the stats for S1A, including the pilot. To the surprise of no one Steven fucking trounces the competition in a landslide victory of most cries. I don't think anyone's even getting close. At this rate he's crying over 100 times before the series ends. Steven alone makes up over half of the crying in S1A (or exactly half if you count the honorable mentions.) Silver medal goes to Lars who does quite a bit of crying as he's a sensitive lad deep down. He still has plenty of episodes coming up but I doubt he's keeping the title. Pearl and Greg are tied for bronze which I'm sure has Pearl fuming.At least Pearl gets the best cry award for that wonderful cryfest in So Many Birthdays. Dewey snuck in at the last second and was worthy of consideration but most of his was offscreen.And finally, 74% of the episodes featured at least a little crying so you're getting tears in about 3 in every 4 episodes of S1A. Interestingly the total cries is much higher than the episodes with tears so the cry density is about 1.44.Garnet's the only main character who hasn't cried yet (unless you count Lion, who might be incapable of crying?) but that's not too surprising. I'm pretty sure she cries at least once but that'll be for another day.I'm off to bed. I don't know if I'm continuing this first thing tomorrow because I don't have Dewey's stamina but I'll try not to abandon this forever. Either way it's been fun.
>>152478220>Steven already that highMy god he's going to shrivel up
>>152472164You get one life, anon. Maybe watch shows that you LIKE?
>retarded anons doing the work for an YouTuber Lmao
>>152478428CHADmily guy poster...
