That's right, it's back. If you weren't here last week this is a project where I count the number of times someone cries in every episode of Steven Universe. Yes, really. We're starting Season 2 now.>Full DisclosureThis episode's a tease. A lot of wet eyes and sweat in the first half but no actual tears. Connie cries when Steven threatens to break up with her. She demands they talk face to face and Steven hits us with one of the most iconic cries of the whole show. Steven's been quantity over quality so far so it's about time he gave us a nice powerful cry. And Connie didn't cry at all in Season 1B so that's another notch under her belt. Strong start for Season 2.
Glad to see this is back. I commend you op.
yay we're back
>Season 1https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/152472164>Joy RideI was a little worried we wouldn't get any cries since the whole point of this episode is to be a break from the drama. Buck cries when Peridot's pod starts blasting lasers. Steven cries after Garnet ungrounds him from TV. Buck is the only cool kid who's cried so far which checks out since he inherited Mayor Dewey's ridiculous cry stamina. He can't escape his destiny.>>152569548>>152569569Appreciate the support!
>Say UncleGood Morning! This episode was produced as a part of Season 2 but was planned to be aired with Season 1. Wikipedia lists it as Season 1 and the SU Wiki lists it as Season 2. I will count it as Season 2 and even though it's a non-canon episode the cries are very much real.Lars gets wet eyes as his ship sinks but he doesn't actually cry. Pizza Steve gets an honorable mention for crying after his motorcycle stunt. Steven cries (in chibi form) while running over to protect Uncle Grandpa from the gems. Pearl cries melodramatically after Steven lectures them about not hurting people. And all the CGs cry after UG flies off. Even Garnet! I really don't want to count it but I have to. That's officially the first cry for Garnet. That guy who said there was no crying in this episode was way off. Leave it to Uncle Grandpa to be a tearjerker.
>Love LettersAnd the award for the most worthless episode goes to... At least Jamie cries while pondering his failed acting career, and again after Garnet rejects him. I expect no less from our resident thespian. Connie also cries because her fake letter gave him false hope. Lot of non-Steven crying happening here.
>ReformedSteven cries when Amethyst gets poofed by the slinker. Surprisingly Amy doesn't cry at all in this one - she's a tough cookie. They never end up catching the slinker so I have to assume it's still lurking in the temple somewhere.>Amethyst: Who wants to watch a cartoon about people crying?>Steven: I do...
>>152569846I watched the first two eps of Steven U when it came out, thought "why dis nigga crying so much, lame" and then only caught this UG crossover when it aired and then never watched anymore after that. Pretty based if I say so. Pizza Steve and UG were hilarious in this one. Love when a character is dropped into another one and hijinks ensue.
>Sworn to the SwordThis seems like a decent time to acknowledge the opening theme - as far as I can tell there's no crying in any of them. Steven sweats in the S1 intro while running past the gems but that's it. If he cried in it that would net him one point because I'm not giving Steven another +50. Like he needs it.Pearl cries after Connie proclaims that she wants to fight by Steven's side. Pearl shows a hologram flashback of her crying while defending Rose in battle which counts. Steven cries empathetically while watching. And finally, Pearl cries again while arguing with Steven about him fighting as a proxy for Rose. I kinda don't like this scene because it implies Rose wanted to fight while I would've preferred it if Rose slyly took advantage of Pearl's slavish tendencies.>>152570195Crossovers are always a little fun. I didn't care for the newer ones like Crossover Nexus or the Jellystone crossover but they're still a little fun. Personally I think Say Uncle is one of the best episodes of Steven Universe and Uncle Grandpa. IIRC it was written by SU writers but they understood UG enough to embrace both shows. People also get bogged down by SU's melodrama and forget that it's also a goofy show when it wants to be.
Caught up with previois thread, Godspeed Anon. I never paid that much attention to the show's crying to notice it's as much of a trademark for Steven as whipcracks are for Johnny Test
>Rising Tides, Crashing SkiesRonaldo plays footage of Peedee crying while everybody is evacuating. While this technically happened offscreen during The Return I'm not retroactively awarding any points for that. Peedee will get one point for this episode. Ronaldo also cries at the thought of evicting the CGs and making Beach City normal. It's a long one too. You could argue it's two different cries because the second cry is after Garnet agrees to stay but I'm lumping them together.>>152570250It really is. Lol, you could never convince me to do this for Johnny Test. Even as a kid I knew that show was lousy.
>>152570246Yeah I mean I can appreciate SU continuing some of the humor that AT had and being funny as well as the interesting backgrounds. But yeah the melodrama and some of the art like pig noses kinda repelled me.
>Keeping It TogetherThis is Garnet's first canon cry! This is as a result of witnessing the body horror forced fusions. Steven has the gall to ask what's the matter like these hand monsters aren't creepy as fuck. This brief scene is the most effective horror in the whole series. The sound design is excellent.>>152570494That's fair. The drama's hit or miss for me but when it hits it really hits. Steven's nose only bothers me when he's looking directly at the camera.
>We Need to TalkI was a little worried this one would have no crying like Greg's other flashback. Season 2 has been firing off on all cylinders so far without a single cryless episode. After failing to fuse Greg has a heart to heart with Rose and starts bawling. Phew!
>Chillie TidI said in the last thread that dreams don't count but I forgot that Steven has fucking dream powers which might be enough to qualify. Steven dreams about Lapis crying and vomiting ocean water. In his second dream she has a drop of water on her face - seems like sweat since she's straining to hold Jasper down. It's close and I want to count it but I don't think I can.The first dream with the crying Lapis felt more metaphorical so it's only getting an honorable mention. Unfortunately I have to rule this as a no cry episode which makes this the first Season 2 episode without crying thus breaking the 11-episode crystreak that started all the way back in The Return. Might be one of my more controversial rulings but I'm sticking to my guns here.
>Cry for HelpSurely an episode with cry in the name will get us back on track. In case you missed last thread I already decided the crying breakfast friends only counted for one honorable mention in their debut. Counting them any more than that would be overkill. I think they cried 6 or 7 times in this episode alone.Pearl cries when Garnet offers to fuse. Pearl cries a second time after getting exposed for manipulating Garnet into fusing with her.Believe it or not that puts Pearl above Steven for Season 2. This is the first time Steven has ever been dethroned since the start of the series. I don't expect it to last but this is unprecedented. Pearl you may be a rapist but you outcried Steven and that's no small feat.
>>152569466I said this about the fag from My Hero Academia and it applies here too. It's not so much that I have issue with seeing men cry but is it so much that cry with at least a modicum of dignity? It doesn't have to be the single line of MANLY TEARS either but c'mon meet me half way at least.
>Keystone MotelGarnet goes on a road trip with Steven and Greg to get away from Pearl. The stress causes her to unfuse. Ruby cries while arguing with Sapphire. After Sapphire freezes the room Steven has icicles right on top of his tear ducts. He also grows icicles all over his face so I'm gonna say this is not a cry. However, Steven does cry after Ruby smashes the diner table. Ruby gets close to crying again but not quite. And finally Sapphire cries when she realizes how their bickering has affected Steven.>>152571044Steven's always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve. I think most of the other male characters on the show do fine. Lars cries a lot too but I feel like most of his are warranted or at least understandable.
>>152571044I’ll make you cry some deep tears, bitch
>Onion FriendCredit where it's due I like how connected Beach City feels. Onion and Sour Cream could've been rando characters but connecting them to Vidalia connects them to Greg, Amethyst, and Steven. I don't mind townie episodes when they flesh out the main characters. Anyways Steven cries at the prospect of feeding a mouse to a snake. I would've counted it if we heard crying from Onion's birth tape but he cuts it off too soon.
>Historical FrictionSteven cries when Jamie tells him that heroes need flaws. Technically this episode gives us a backstory on Beach City but it doesn't tell us anything important, we already knew the gems were there before the city was built. Also Nanefua slaps Jamie's ass.
>Friend ShipPearl cries while confiding to Garnet about her low self-esteem which marks the show's 100th cry! It would've been sooner if you counted honorable mentions or were more liberal with what counts as a cry.>Peridot: You really think this is the end? Hehehehe... this is only the beginning!Yeah, we know. Pearl cries again shortly after Garnet reassures her that she is strong and she should choose to be strong. She's hanging in there! Pearl and Steven are neck and neck. There's no way she'll actually beat Steven... is there?
>>152569466YOU’RE NOT FINISHED?!
>Nightmare HospitalTearless episode. No honorable mentions either. Connie and Priyanka get watery eyes during their heart to heart at the end but no actual tears. Also I know humans are supposed to be comically stupid when it comes to magic but how the fuck does the doctor nonchalantly pretend a creature with arms coming out of its neck is a human? Make a joke about them being disfigured. Do something.>>152571505No, we still have 5 1/2 seasons and a movie! It's possible I'll get bored and quit when the series starts getting really bad but we'll see.
>Sadie's SongAnother tearless episode. Sadie manages to express her pent-up rage over decades of dealing with her controlling mom without crying. This season was doing really well but it's starting to slip. We're getting more plot episodes next that will hopefully get things back on track.
>>152571597Keep a cry counter then. Something like>TOTAL CRIES: OVER 9000
>Catch and ReleaseI'm not doing stats for an anti-crying streak but 3 episodes without any tears is the longest we've had yet.>>152571809I already do. Stats come at the end of season.
Cheering for you, Cry-Charting Anon.I am one of those fags who enjoyed Steven Universe thoroughly but yeah those fucks cry almost as much as Usagi kills horses
OP, you madlad, I hope you don't go insane doing this.
>When it RainsI might be biased because I'm jonesing for a cry but I'm counting this. It's a little ambiguous because she's stepped out into the rain but compared to the other raindrops on her face that streak is too long and wide. Peridot is crying from experiencing rain for the first time. Her eyes also get wet and wiggly when she begs Steven to escort her to the kindergarten but I'm not counting that. Between the two of those she deserves at least one point.>>152571897>>152571956Thanks! I gotta be a little insane to be doing this in the first place.
>>152571129>Steven's always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve.His heart is one thing but must he leave his snot too?
>Back to the BarnPearl's self-esteem and support system have improved to the point where Peridot's bullying leaves her unphased. The idea of robot violence leaves Steven with watery eyes, but nobody cries.>>152571981He should be carrying around tissues at this point.
let's fucking go OP>>152569846correct me if I'm wrong, this is the first time Garnet has cried in the series... for Uncle Grandpa of all things lmao
>Too FarAmethyst cries from laughter when Peridot roasts Steven. Peridot cries from laughter at her own joke. For the record Amy's in the wrong in this one. She can dish it out but she can't take it.>Peridot: Though that doesn't explain the spontaneous singing. Crying. Singing while crying.>>152572149Yep. Even the most stoic must shed a tear for our good uncle.
>>152569466I loved this momentGreat comedic beat to show his warped sniveling face after making a big show of being emotionally detached
>The AnswerAfter Ruby and Sapphire fuse and break Sapphire's prediction Blue Diamond chews Sapphire out. Sapphire is taken aback and a single drop of liquid rolls down her face. As I said before her eye is obscured so this could be sweat but based on her tone and the location of the drop I'm willing to count it as a cry. Another potentially controversial ruling.>>152572238 I've seen people post it around here a lot as a reaction image but I forgot the episode it came from. Just perfect.
>Steven's BirthdayCan't blame Connie, with all the crying Steven's been doing I can't believe he's been 13 this whole time. After stretching to seem older Steven gets tuckered out and regresses into a baby. Baby Steven cries for a long time but I'm counting it as one. Connie cries at the thought of Steven regressing to a zygote.
>It Could've Been GreatNo crying here either. I think the thing about Season 2 is there isn't a ton of reason for anyone to cry during the Peridot arc. Peridot is emotional but she doesn't cry a lot and the gems don't care about her enough to feel anything but rage and annoyance. Despite the stakes it's been a pretty relaxed group of episodes. It also doesn't help that Peridot's growth is also slow so the slow pacing gives us less reasons to cry. The whole 11 minute format also isn't doing it any favors.
>Message ReceivedI swear I remembered Peridot crying while shouting at Yellow Diamond but I guess I was thinking of the sweat. No cries.
>Log Date 7 15 2There's a weird scene at the beginning where Peridot copes with calling Yellow Diamond a clod that's zoomed out. It reads as crying more than sweating so that counts. Also I hate the Steven POV. You only have 11 minutes to work with but you still have to tack on this framing device instead of just doing an episode from Peridot's perspective. Honorable mention to Paulette from Camp Pining Hearts.Stats coming in the morning, sleepy time.
>>152571597>Series starts getting really badEpisode 1m
>>152572829haha typo
This is my favourite Steven Universe full-series recap ever, please keep it up!
Yey! The Cryanon is back :D
Stats time!>(1/2)Season 2 was quite a rollercoaster. It started off really strong with a 9 episode streak filled with good cries, even longer if you count dream Lapis crying in Chillie Tid. After Friend Ship it just petered out. We had a dry spell of episodes and were averaging less than one cry. This season also had some of the toughest calls I had to make. I still think that Sapphire cry might be fraudulent but I can't turn back on that now.Overall we still had almost as many total cries as Season 1A which just speaks to how jam-packed the first half of Season 2 was. I think the cry density was around 2-3 for the most part. Since I'm counting the pilot as a part of 1A Season 2 barely ekes out a higher cry density. The cry percentage is lowest it's been but it's still only 1% lower than 1A. I'm amazed how consistent the cry percentage has been. Another stat I'm not recording (but maybe I should) is cry diversity - Season 2 gave us Garnet's first cry and overall had more unique characters cry. Season 1A had 9, 1B had 10, and 2 has 13.Steven wins gold again but just by a hair. Pearl was on his heels the whole time but it was the birthday cry that pushed him over the edge. I guess Pearl had to hang tough in the face of Peridot's racism. I predicted that Steven would cry less over time as he matures and the crystal gems would cry more as they become more vulnerable. Both of these hold up though there's not much data on Amethyst or Garnet so the evidence is flimsy. Pearl is the most clear example of this, tripling her efforts since 1A and giving herself a much deserved silver. Connie and Peridot are tied for bronze. After a disappointing 0 cries in 1B Connie put in the effort and gave a solid showing. It's also exciting to see newcomer Peridot make a statement but I don't remember her crying much throughout the series so I don't think it'll last.
>>152574314>(2/2)At this point for overall stats I think Steven and Pearl are locked in but bronze is still anyone's game. Lars still hangs onto bronze despite doing absolutely nothing in Season 2, he's resting on the laurels of his Season 1 cries. Connie gets most improved, Lars gets biggest disappointment.Best cry goes to Steven in Full Disclosure. The cry itself was good but the whole episode building up to it made it truly one of the most memorable cries in the whole series.Say Uncle is now the episode with the most cries tallying at six cries and one honorable mention. Feels a little cheap because it's non-canon but that's how it is. Goes to show that with no restrictions the writers could go let loose and go crazy with the cries.I added a Stevenless chart and changed the charts to bar charts because they're easier to read. The blue and the green blend together because Excel's colors are ass and there's no way to customize them. This only affects Connie but still. I also got fancy with my color coding, let me know if it's too distracting.
>>152574314>>152574320this is the real olympics
Waahhh.
>>152569466Weird how much everyone cries so much, I would have swear Steven cried more that anyone else.
>>152574314Do you have any predictions on how will be in third place by the end of the show?
>>152572484Peridot will ever be my favorite characters for finding value on earth her own way and shouting to her god in the face when she realized Yellow is an asshole.
>>152575488He does. Check the stats.>>152575635I have no idea. I don't think Lars has that many more episodes so I don't think it'll be him. Greg and Connie are the closest right now but I think Amethyst could overtake them just because she gets more screentime.
>>152574314Thanks OP, you're doing great. Had no idea Pearl cried so much compared to everyone else, including her fellow gems.
>>152574314>that fucking gap between steven and pearllmao
>>152575885I think Ames or Connie are good bets. I think it might also be a good idea to add another statistic as well (if it's not too much work for you to add this far in) would be cry density per character, basically the amount that character cries divided by the number of episodes they appear in. Might be a good metric to see which characters are crying the most. I think Pearl would beat Steven here
>>152576494Low-key they've been flanderizing Pearl a little bit with the crying but she also has the most baggage so it checks out.>>152576917I considered that but I was too lazy. I might do it at the very end and rip all the numbers from the wiki. You might have a point. I don't know if Pearl would be Steven but it'd be a hell of a lot closer.
>>152569569cute frogge
>>152574320I always loved how the opening title cards and end credits sequences changed depending on how an episode started/ended. Just a nice added detail from the art team
>>152575436that's what Steven sounds like
>>152572337d'awww cute babby
Sex with Pearl Stevenuniverse
>>152585044fuck off bot
>>152570611>This is Garnet's first canon cry!doesn't she wipe her eyes in Too Many Birthdays when Steven is dying of old age? implying she was crying?
>>152585131Fuck, you're right. There's even a tear stream from her face. It's blink and you'll miss it but it's there. Welp, I'm issuing a correction and giving Garnet a cry for So Many Birthdays. Thanks anon.
Cry.
Why do you watch this absolute gigafaggot showGays should respect themselves too much to watch it.
