Illumination is incapable of doing a good movie
didn't the first movie have poor critic reviews since it's just full of references from the games for fans?I don't think the audience for this cares what critics think at all, it literally isn't made to please critics. It's for Nintendo fans.
>>153036352Why did this fair review like the first movie??? WHY?
Sing movies are fine
>Trusting any reviews just before April FoolsEeyup. And even then, critics always bash animated movies if it doesn't have sexualized bitches.
>>153036352Really?
>>153036448Naaaah
>>153036471>relatable storyNo Mario game is relatable.
>>153036471>One review site has a different score for something than anotherOh wow, it's almost like people have different opinions
>>153036471>relatableholy shit you have to be such a narcissistic cattle tho think a story has to automatically be relatable. i have nothing but fucking hate whenever this non-criticism ever shows up.
>>153036394>corposlop made for the least common denominator >"It's for Nintendo fans."That's a backhanded compliment if I ever heard one.
>>153036352I thought Fox Mccloud cock was going to get huge praise :(
>>153036352The first despicable me is good
>>153036471A 6 from IGN is a terrible score
>>153036648The target demographic for the movie is obviously meant to be fans of the games, it's even named after one of the games.
>>153036662>erm, actually, if the average lowest score of a film on IGN is 6, then it's badAlso you're a massive fag for taking anything they say seriously.
>>153036352Everyone is incapable of doing a good movie while pampering and comforting execs for spare change
>>153036471They aren't wrong
>>153036771You dont rate games in relation to eachother unless they are sequels, in the same series or atleast in the same genre, its only within what the game itself is proposing
>>153036352As long as they keep making money, what do they care?
I don't get this meme where journalists are suddenly pretending to be the mighty upholders of good stories. Films aren't just about stories anyway, they're aesthetic experiences.
>>153036648Stating fact isn't really a compliment. Just reality. Since it wasn't about Asian pop idol girls of course it's not going to well with these current reviewers. >>153036662Tbh since when was IGN credible? I can't remember it was so long ago.
>>153037067You are thinking of art exhibits and art shows.
>>153036650He will, but only because the reveal was spoiled early and theaters will ironically chimp out like Chicken Jockey
>The movies are so bad they make billions! EVERY time!
>>153037067Journalists have insanely inflated egos thus they give undue importance to their place in society
>>153036471Yeah, sounds about what I imagined.>>153036625Imagine sperging put because of a single word. If there's no coherent narrative throughline to tie these references together, you don't have a fucking story.
>>153036352I liked Despicable Me 2. It had some absurdist humor in it I enjoyed a lot.
>>153036352>Dan was correct about it being slop
>>153036889Maybe you don’t. Even taken by itself the Godhand review is laughable, though.
>>153036771The critics liked Party Babies more because they couldn’t jack off to God Hand
>>153036352>score before premier
The only people who brought this up were subhuman vorefags using a 12 year old joke as an excuse to spam it
>>153037215Yes anon, and AI videos on youtube get billions of views!
>>153036684But this movie has barely anything in common with Galaxy. If you're a fan of Galaxy you'll be disappointed.
>>153036471>Relatable story>It's not about being a girl I can't relate.
>>153037660loool
>>153037660>>153037660So did super Mario bros. The bros were together the start and end only in the first
>>153037067>Films aren't just about stories anyway, they're aesthetic experiences.And if the film fails at being an “aesthetic experience” because of the writing?
>>153037660>If you're a fan of Galaxy you'll be disappointed.literally doesn't matter. A disappointed viewer is still a sold ticket.
>>153036352Doesn't matter. Super Mario Galaxy's still gonna make bank and break box office records. Anyone who's anyone will be talking about it for the next 3+ weeks
>>153036352
>>153036352The movie looked like a bloated clusterfuck from the trailers and forcing Star Fox in it.
>>153036352did you rike it?
>>153037945No
>>153036352Sonic WinsMario Drools
>>153036471>again the story argumentI don't understand why do you ask this from fucking MArio. For fuck sake when has a Mario ever had a story even? These faggots would give the original game a 10/10 if asked but that game had literally zero story. It has negative story even. So why the movie has to have the best story in history or else it's shit? I don't get it.
>>153038106Just looked at the reviews for sonic 3. I saw that garbage movie. If these are the same reviewers of Mario Galaxy movie then no fucking wonder it's getting bad scores from reviewers. Sonic 3 was just fucking awful.
>>153036352Has this shit been leaked already it happened with the first movie
>>153038126A movie should have a story to begin with. The Mario movies are more like if the Mario games had no gameplay.
>>153036352I'm sure Mario/Nintendo shills would try to give the movie a better score and call it underrated, but I genuinely disliked the first movie despite enjoying the Mario games, it felt way too generic this movie not only has way too many characters but they also have Nintendo characters from non Mario games showing up and a post credit scene that teases Wario, they're clearly trying to turn this into Nintendo's MCU style shared cinematic Universe, but with only 2 movies in this is way too fast, they cannot wait, this is like what happened with Scoob when they tried to shove way too many Hanna-Barbera characters in a movie that was promoted as being a Scooby one just because they wanted a MCU style cinematic Universe
>>153038251THIS
>>153037917How much are you paid to inject faux politico into every conversation.
>>153038162Sonic three effectively stomped Disney's ass. It was so bad that disney strongarmed theaters into not showing it.
>>153038309What did Disney have out at the time? Nothing worth mentioning at the time? Still doesn't mean the Movie was terrible and formulaic like any live action children's movie.
>>153037312No self respecting reviewer does, you are supposed to rate the game by what it proposes not by in relation to others, you dont deduce point of a educational game because it isnt skyrim, thats fucking stupid>the Godhand review is laughableThen criticize that.
>>153038162Sonic 3 was a good movie. At the very least it tried to adapt the Sonic story into an actual movie story. Which is more than Mario did in both movies so far.
>TTG writersIt's ironic when you look at it
>>153038251Based
>>153038367>Tried to adapt the storyYou mean the floating island? Wait not that ... What about the chaos emeralds being separated and using chaos control? No? What about Sonic living with a cop in the games? Oh that never happened... What about Sonic and tails and knuckles living together? Oh I remember that in the games! I remember the story where sonic went on a road trip in the games.... Oh wait... Face it anon, you just suck up anything that has sonic in it. Regardless of story. Mario had a story, simple story, but a story and didn't need Jim Carry to dance to strobe lights to eat up time.
>>153036352>>153038251
>>153038251>>153038475
>>153036352Did anyone really think this was going to be good? The first movie was only okay because it could work with being an introduction story. The second movie had to somehow work with continuing a bland story with even more meme casting (Brie Larson as Rosalina was even funnier to me than Chris Pratt as Mario. Mamma Mia, we are getting Awkwafina as Daisy and Pedro Pascal as Wario eventually) and unsubstantial references while now also trying to shove in crossovers. These films are so soulless.
>>153037861Inside Out 3 will come out and surpass it.
>>153038443>it didn’t have everything form the game so it’s bad
>>153038251>>153038475>>153038494Not cinema
>>153036352True
>>153038583>It's good because it has sonic in it that's all it needs. Spy kids would be just as good if sonic showed up.
Since when was Mario political?
>>153038586Oh shit. Its a bot responding to itself. >>153038443The fuck are you talking sbout? >>153038360Yes. A children's movie being formulaic abd safe while appealing to chimdrrn families stones and sad autists...Thats bad.Let's see how much fuck awful hollywood sensibility and subtle propoganda we can shove in it!
>>153038700When Mario supported the genocide of Palestinians.
>>153037903I'm sure the film is shit, even more shit than the first one, but this reviewer is so up his own ass it's insane. What a pretentious fuckwit.
>>153037903>>153038475>>153038494Based
>>153038361>IGN is the only major site that review the heckin' baby game.>Only one thet review it that high.>Other review sites give it a mid at best and half the user reviews are giving it ironic 10/10s.>Y-You can't...
>>153038714If you can't keep up with your own conversations then that's a reflection on you.
>>153036352>low woke meter scores from multiple woke sjw sites>woke sjw reviewers losing their minds and trashing the filmHoly shit this movie is going to be awesome!
>>153038780You can criticize the baby game score by itself my point is that if you only argument >but muh other unrelated game got a lower scoreThen you are fucking stupid
>>153038809That's what I was thinking, they ain't woke they just hate Mario.
>>153038830He's pointing out their obvious poor track record in regards of reviews, especially when they aren't paid off.
>>153036352>>153036471>IGN gave Mario Galaxy, Sonic 3 and K-pop demon hunters a 6>They gave Snow White a 7Burn hollywood to the groundBURN IT ALL
It will make a shitload of money anyway
>>153038893All Sonic movies are shit tho
>>153038901Paramount had paid reviews since the knew sonic fans eat up everything that is sonic and give it a perfect score.
Sonic fans on xitter are gonna start singing victory and then shat themselves again when the box office for this slop reaches another billion.
Personally i care more if the movie is actually good rather than if the multibillion dollar company makes another billion in tickets but thats just me
>>153038443>Mario had a story, simple story, but a storyNo it didn't.
>Sonicfag didn't deny he's from xitterOf course.
>>153039040>Nuh uh!
>>153039037I mean, you are proving the opposite by image alone.
Sonic 2 is a cringefest
>>153039111What else am I supposed to say? Most of Mario's "training arc" doesn't matter when they use a star power up to beat Bowser. They spend all this time with the Kongs that amounted to fuck all. It's a nothing movie.
>>153039201Because Mario did use the training especially the action scenes with DK raiding the bowser wedding and the power star still had Mario use the moves he learned while training, and the whole point was that never give up attitude and brothers managing to do the impossible. Did you watch with your eyes closed?
>>153038494Whatever causes Boomers physical suffering makes me very happy
>>153036352>Easter eggs, references, and cameos are not enough on their ownis the most lukewarm take possible and yet you guys are still chimping out over it?
>>153038443A Sonic media's quality is inversely related to how faithful to the games it is. It's why Frontiers, comics, and whatever that flop racing game is called are terrible garbage while the movies managed to land an audience.
>>153039111NTA but it kind of didn't and there's two reasons why:1. Mario goes thought a pointless training montage when super stars turn you into an invincible god that can win without needing to train at all.2. A full act of the movie is is dedicated going to recruit the Kong army to fight Bowser except said army it immediately beaten in Mario Kart and imprisoned, making that whole endeavor pointless as well.
>>153039228Except Luigi could do all he same stuff despite spending the movie in a cage.
>>153036448>>153036352Illumination's only good movie is the original Despicable Me. Everything else is unwatchable, banal, and bland.
>>153039377I recall Migration being okay
>>153039377i love how illumination can make a good movie literally any time they want but they just choose not to because slop is more profitable. fuck normies, milk them like the cattle they are
>>153039228Did you? The actual acrobatic nature of the training sequence doesn't actually translate to those scenes. He's mostly just reacting to his environment, which is something he was able to do normally way back at the start of the movie when he and Luigi were going to do plumbing work. His training meant nothing seeing as Luigi was keeping pace with him after they got the star power up, despite being a total bumblefuck earlier in the movie.The only sequence like the training sequence was when he had to fight DK, which itself was trivialized by the cat power up, which also begs the question of why do the Kongs have power ups in an arena (or whatever you'd call it) on their home turf that they themselves never use?
>>153039377Lorax is an ironically enjoyable film for all the great memes.
>>153039353>Mario goes thought a pointless training montage when super stars turn you into an invincible god that can win without needing to train at all.Wrong since he used it fighting with DK and used it trying to get to bowser wedding and still was PULLING OFF MOVES WHILE IN STAR MODE THAT HE DID IN TRAINING. And 2. That meant that DK and Mario had to rescue them with power ups and the training Mario learned. Again did you close your eyes or are you so bad at paying attention you ignored the whole movie?
>>153039365Yeah because he was following Mario's lead. No surprising close brothers kind of work off each other.
>>153039405Yeah they did! What are you retarded? How do you ignore the whole platforming aspect while during those scenes, do you need to have a training scene be 1:1 in a scene because you are to stupid to realize level 1 isn't the same as level 2? Jesus man.
>>153039460>How do you ignore the whole platforming aspect while during those scenesBecause there's barely any of it. He does more "platforming" at the start of the movie when he's going to work with Luigi, and then none of it matters later on when he has to "train".
>>153039405>The only sequence like the training sequence was when he had to fight DK, which itself was trivialized by the cat power up, which also begs the question of why do the Kongs have power ups in an arena (or whatever you'd call it) on their home turf that they themselves never use?You do know Mario trained with a power up right? And power ups are all over the fucking world why would that be surprising? Mario adapting with what he got an being quick thinker to use a power up as needed? None of it was trivial. Luigi also follows Mario's lead pretty simple conclusion there.
>>153039495That's a load of bullshit there too! Seriously dude you are just trying too hard to lie now.
More like Sloper Mario lol
I'm more bothered that the reviews make it out to be more like Odyssey than Galaxy despite advertising it as Galaxy. Galaxy is a great setting compared to Odyssey.
>>153039502>You do know Mario trained with a power up right?Ah yes, training with one power up means you know how to use them all. Totally explains how he just masters the cat power up well enough to kick DK's ass the second he gets it.>And power ups are all over the fucking world why would that be surprising? The arena they were fighting in was clearly, specifically constructed by the Kongs. Why would you put or leave power ups there when you don't use them?>Luigi also follows Mario's lead pretty simple conclusion there.lmfao then explain why Mario couldn't just follow Peach's lead during training? It took him forever to figure it out while Luigi gets it immediately. Is Mario just retarded then?>>153039518The entire sequence where they're heading over to their first plumbing job has Mario style platforming where Mario is skilled while Luigi is stumbling over himself. Go rewatch it.
>one of those rare instances /v/ and /tv/ are in no way a reliable judge and /co/ might be a better judge overalli think only /co/ can say if the movie is as shit as people say or just mediocre, maybe even good.
>>153036471i could see the movie being shit but all these bad press reeks of nintendo not giving review journalists their usual gibemedats and freebie trips to premieres and events.
>>153039720/tv/ might genuinely be the lowest IQ board at this point.
>>153039740Well yeah. They're just being honest when they're not bribed.It's basically just what happens when Nontendo has to do without the tendie bonus.
>>153036394It had bad reviews because it's a bad movie. Nintentoddlers gave it 10/10 reviews because it had Bing bing wahoo man in it and reddit pointed out all the obscure references that they never actually knew anything about.
>It's Mario Galaxy>But it's also Yoshi's Island>But it's also Mario Sunshine>But it's also Mario Odyssey>But it's also Super Mario Bros Wonder>But it's also Star FoxIt sounds like a bloated mess.
>>153038126Being a Mario movie does not exclude it from being judged as a movie and a bad score does not mean the reviewer isn't grading on a curve.
>>153038392They directed the Mario movies. The writer for the movies was done by The Lego 2 movie and the Rise of Gru Minions movie.
>>153039502Because Mario has a single training montage with Peach and then suddenly becomes as capable as he should have been without her, but the director and writers are a bunch of hack faggots who needed to make Peach a badass girlboss and Mario a sad sack of shit who needs her help.
>>153037363>Vorefags liking slop because they fetishize being reduced to slopThey are the most "dont ask questions consume product" fucking people I have had the misfortune of dealing with where they will lick the nuts of gamefreak forever and ever while icking on anything that isn't sparkly critter belly glorp.
>>153039880In b4 there's a pokemon tossed in just because
I WANT MY FUCKING MARIO MOVIE 2 GOOGLE DRIVE FILE NOW
>>153039897The Lego movie two killed the franchise. Explains princess peach though.
>>153036352Still gonna watch it, suck it bitch
>>153040030Lego movie 2 was okay as a follow up.But by then I was sick of chris pratt so them referencing them being voiced by chris pratt was fucking annoying and this around the midst of the 'throwing random shit together' stuff like that god awful ready player one stuff.Or space jam 2.This movie is just the Nintendo edition of Space Jam 2 isn't it?
>>153040090>They pandered to my niche autistic fixation so I don't care!!!Spoken like a true MSpaint art collecting sperg.Autists are corpo cuck slaves more than the normies, go figure.
>>153038901Heh, you are all fake reviews. Nice Try.
>>153038443The first Sonic movie sucked ass though, and the second was a 7/10 mostly because of the part that is not in Earth.So try again faggot. Your console wars don't work here.
>>153040127You'll be raging and shitting your pants all night long and I'll be watching a movie with friends.
>>153039858gb2 /v/
>>153038475Hmm, what is talking about it is actually worse than AI? Why?
>>153040221Your aunt's cousins you babysit aren't your friends
>>153037155Or maybe the movie is just bad
>>153040256That's true, my friends are my friends. Something you clearly don't have.
>>153040304You werent supposed to post that....
>>153040293Nice kingdom of hearts dialogue you dorkus
>>153038126 Movies are supposed to have stories. What works for the medium of games doesn't work for a movie.
>>153036448No.
>>153040304It was a shit movie. Blame the script
>>153040641>Movies are supposed to have stories.Technically not true, but what you're left with it arthouse "visual experience" type of shit.
>>153038571Based
>>153038195>>153039886>>153040641ok but why are critics demanding so much from the Mario movies when they give a pass to much much simple cliched by the number stories like K Pop Demon Hunters or Zootopia 2?
So this is the next big thing /co/ is gonna sperg about for a while
>>153040982Actually /v/ is having a field day with it while this board and /tv/ are pretty quiet
>>153041047you're probably right. while it only has a few threads theyre all pretty rancid tho.
Despicable Me 1 is a good family movie
>>153037903
>>153036448As much as i love Porsha Crystal, nahhh
>If you pander to nintendies they will defend your slop
>>153036448Sing is their best work and it's not close
>>153039251Keep seething more, millennialtroon
>>153038723You're not an interesting person.
>>153038895The first weekend only, yeah.
No one was expecting it to be good. Its a bare bones story with "that thing I know from games".So...cool.
>>153039392Okay is not a synonym of good.
>>153041239>The expectations for nintendo stuff are lower than fucking lego stuffkek
Amphibiabros not like this /ourguy/ Matt disliked the filmhttps://x.com/Radrappy/status/2039109964569141387
>>153039897>Rise of Gru Minions movieStill better movie than any of these Mario movies.
>>153038126It's a movie you fucking unbelievable moron
>>153038571>>153040913Yeah in 2033
>>153038392Those guys always will be talentless hacks. Forever, no matter what.
>>153041448>Nintendies are so lowbar they defend TTGo writingI question the cognition of nintendo spergs. I think they may be literally like those gammas from Brave New World who just see colorful creature they fetishize do the thing they like seeing them do on the screen and stimm, no cognition and only impulsive hostility to anything which perturbs them. You see it in how their idea of art is an incoherent noise of random characters thrown together doing the thing and there are DA profiles full of such stuff. So the standards are simply 'be the thing my 4 year old autism brain stimm-latched to and never do anything else'
>>153036394>it literally isn't made to please criticsThat is the most common cope for bad movies
>>1530381267/10 bait
>>153041518I didn't said the opposite in respect of TTG??
>>153036352I liked Migration specially for her sadly there's barely any anthro art...
>>153036352Sounds like the committee behind this was so fixated in making it Perfect and SAFE that they made something so incredibly bland nobody cares for it.
>>153041658Die faggot
>>153041207Go to bed, hothead.
>>153036394Retards are citing critic reviews when critics love hot garbage like Knives Out.
>>153041676So basically like this movie?
>>153041842You are the guy who would watch 90 minutes of a butt farting and say other people are just stupid for not getting it
>>153041897>Implying that isn't what a movie critic is
>>153041842That says more about you than the critics desu
>>153041897That's how indie comix works, desu!
>>153041897thats literally what movie critics are like
>>153037310Dan was typically based in his opinions so this is accurate.
>It only made $48Nintendo must commit sudoku now.
>>153042412LMAO I hope so, and anyone who was involved in some capacity on this mess.
>>153036448Stick waifus are great, but the movies are ass.
I seriously don't understand what anyone saw in the first movie, it was such an aggressively mediocre movie in just about every possible aspect.
>>153043183They just were "wow they look like them unlike the mario 90's movie which didn't make them look like any of the mario stuff" in their logic. They want their fetishized symbols unaltered as they idolize them.
>>153043183Peaches Peaches Peaches!
>>153043183It wasnt total shit. But once the peaches somg got annoying people realized it was shit. The fact that its not available for streaming and nintendo didnt give it away with the switch 2 like sony did with ricky bobby for the ps3 should tell you all you need to know.
>>153042412>Only 4 shills from 4chan saw it
>>153041860We get it Astro Boy schizo, you're obsessed with that shitty western Tezuka adaptation
>>153043183Best post ITT
>>153036352I'm smart enough to recognise the particular flaws (lightning-quick pacing with too much stuff crammed into a 90m runtime) but at least it's serviceable.
>>153043183Agreed. I did not like it in the slightest. It was so bare-minimum. Diet-Shrek was the bottom it should have reached, and we got Scoob-tier slop
>>153043236>It wasnt total shitThat's the thing with Illumination. They do juuuuuuust enough to reach the bare minimum of competency but they're some of the most uninspired trash imaginable. Honestly anyone would sense would prefer the live action Mario movie, it was messy as fuck but it at least tried to be something and I much rather prefer a messy failure that at least has some vision behind it over something that is so aggressively by the numbers.
>>153043376It was not a good movie but the absurdity of some guy blasting someone with a devolution gun to turn them into a chimpanzee as they scream MONKEEE was funny.
>>153043418>Donkey Kong origin story being from someone being hit with the devolution gun but retaining their human intelligence
>>153036456Retard.
>>153043376Its by the numbers of a crap coloring book. And Mario was just fuck you I dovetail I want in movie form.
>>153043183Mediocre is the best Illumination can get. Which suffice to say, means its their best movie going.No, that is not a compliment.
>>153037258You're the one sperging that it doesn't reflect your shallow self-indulgence
>>153036352How will we beat Sonic now ?
>>153043183The press surrounding the Galaxy movie makes me respect the original a bit more. Still generic ADHD slop, but of the two films it seems to more earnest with its storytelling.
>>153043556It’ll probably make more money than all three movies combined anyway.
>>153036352Shopped, the movie got a 76% on that site from critic.>>153043469No it is not.
>>153039880Just finished watching it. It was the most ADHD inducing brainrot garbage of a film I've ever seen. Also they confirmed Fox gets his own movie
>>153043299At least is better than Ratatouille. God, that was a really awful one.
>>153043649So Krystal will return to mainstream?!Imagine the porn!
>>153043649they really are at the forefront of cultural rot
>>153043737>On the internet there is three things to do:>MEMES!>PORN!>AND ARGUING ONLINE!
>>153043183mediocre isnt a synonym for shit
>>153043785isn't a synonym for good either, eatshitter.
>>153043183People liked the movie literally just because of this:https://files.catbox.moe/iugmfj.mp4
>>153040965A cliched structure is still a structure, it still helps you digest what is happening in the screen. If this flick is a worse version of the first one, i assume they worked even harder into fucking up the pacing and casting
>>153041897>t. movie critic
>>153043764well duh.Part of me hopes of a redesigned Krystal. Where's she an actual arctic fox renamed Kristal, who's modest instead of tribal slut.
>>153043376>it was messy as fuck but it at least tried to be somethingNo the fuck it didn't. It's a grease trap of 80s/90s tropes and cliches clumsily thrown together into something more resembling a stream of consciousness than anything approaching an actual narrative. The ONLY reason you have the gall to say utter tripe like this is because you're forty years separated from the culture that spawned it. It's like saying "at least Howard the Duck tried to be something!"
>>153036352Illumination? More like IllPOOmination.
>>153041091Why does the glasses girl barely speak anymore? She barely has dialogue in the 3rd and 4th movies
>>153036352>get rid of girlboss screen time because of complaints from incels from last movie>movie flopsImagine that
>Man, I wish video game movies could use all the stuff from the actual games
I want to use my chance to say the mario movies only succeed for the name and that's why they're trash.
The first Despicable Me movie was pretty alright tho.
>>153041167Baby's first waifur.
>>153045826It was like Blue Sky's Ice Age. First movie decent. Rest is slop.
>>153041711lol you tell em, fellow feralchad
