Post Simpsons jokes that live in your mind
>>153529684>it's too hot today.
BAD COPSBAD COPS
>>153529229>WHO THE DEVIL ARE YOU!?>(Don't panic. Just come up with a good story.)>My name is Mr Burns>(DOH!)
>>153529931Lol this is a good'un
It's a pornography store :D. I was buying pornography :D.
>>153529229
Seymour Skinner really is the best character of the golden age
>>153532184>And of course in Canada the whole things flip flopped!
>>153529229That chair is very cool
>>153532478Is Batman actually a scientist, or does he merely use the scientific method on occasion?
>>153532228I really like that this scene implies that Skinner would stand up for himself if it was really something he held close to his character being challenged. Even in the face of Super Nintendo Chalmers.
>>153533925It's a real chair most often associated with 60s modernism, you can actually still buy them although even the knockoffs go for ~$1000 a piece and the original brand is closer to ~$10,000.
>>153533958he is. He manufactures his own gadgets and chemicals
>>153533958Not only is Batman a scientist but so is Joker.
>>153529229Speaking of Phil>Mr. Simpson don't you worry I watched Matlock in a bar last night the sound wasn't on but I think I got the gist of it!
>>153529229>DR. NICK RIVIERA, REMEMBER ME!?>Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. McGreg, with a leg for an arm and arm for a leg.
>>153534724
>>153529684CHANGOS
>>153529229>Wiggum. Yeah, right, mister. Mm-hmm. An elephant just knocked over your mailbox. Okay.>Wiggum. Yeah, right, buddy. Liquor store robbery, officer down. Sure. And I'm Edward G. Robinson. Waah!
I nick'd it, when you let your guard down for that split sec'nd. And I'd do it again. G'day.
so ive been playing an umbrella for 30 year?
TRAMBOPOLINE!pic unrelated.
>If I could just say a few words... I'd be a better public speaker!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv2n-Fd93RY>>153532228Burns, Hutz, and Fat Tony are all better in my opinion but Skinner is excellent as well.
>>153533958He's absolutely at least a forensic scientist
>>153534010They've always seemed horrible for anything aside from lounging, but I guess that's the intent.
>>153532478a la grande le puse Cuca
>>153529229>But so many of your heroes wear tights. Batman, for example.... and Magellan.
I insist that you desist
>>153534607that's really more an engineering thing>>153535343not a very good one, he constantly disturbs crime scenes
>>153529229Ooooh the Germans!!
>>153533966Skinner lied to him throughout the unforgettable luncheon.
>>153539116That wasn't lying, it was an impromptu creative writing assignment.
>>153529229Troy McClure is pretty handsome ngl
>>153534695>"I kinda ran over his dog. ... Well, replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and 'dog' with 'son'."
>>153541396*was
Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery. ...can YOU?
>>153539116Chalmers wasn't attacking Skinner's character, Skinner just fucked up and was afraid to own in.
>>153529229>Twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut.>Twenty dollars can buy many Peanuts!>Explain how!>Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
>>153529229>Ja, it is true. I am Gloop.
>"...Okay..."
>Hi I'm Troy McClure You may remember me from such Nature Documentaries as "Earwigs Ewwww!" and "Man vs Nature The Road to Victory"
>>153529229>Marge: You awful man! Stay away from my son!>Sideshow Bob: [menacing] Oh, I'll stay away from your son, all right! Stay away... FOREVER!>Homer: Oh, no!Cape Feare is so good.
>>153542439And people will say the teen seasons are "bad"
>Let me get this strait: you took all your money and bet *against* the Harlem Globetrotters?>ooooooh, I thought the Generals were due!.....come on! He's just spinning it on his finger! Take it! TAKE THE BALL!!!
>>153541920You might Remember him from such things as life, not being dead, and honey wait.
>>153532184>Most people at a church service
>>153544908I like the dialogue afterwards too.>Sideshow Bob: Wait, that's no good. (walks off grumbling)>Sideshow Bob: (comes back) Okay, I've got it! Marge, say "Stay away from my son" again!>Marge: No!>Sideshow Box: (walks off grumbling again)
>>153531997i saw a rerun of this as a kid then i went to the living room to ask my dad what pornography is and he looked at me like i was a little fucktard
>I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can’t get the spices right.I think about this stew a lot.
>>153546035Because they are.
>>153548534Closest you can gethttps://youtu.be/y3PoXXoGVj0?si=_jNK2JeAINwRkyme
>>153532228He's got my favorite joke in the series>Now I... I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
>>153533966to be fair, Skinner used to be really badass https://youtu.be/xbGio8FSdzY?si=fDz5BlckBmbmCBRZ
>"That's preposterous. Zutroy here is as American as apple pie.">"Daq ni kraka, Mister Boouns"
>>153546094They were using a freaking ladder for god's sake!
Incidentally, HMS Pinafore is a silly, funny, enjoyable opera; if you ever get the chance, go and see it, I promise you won't be disappointed. If you're British there's an entire Gilbert & Sullivan festival held every year, with its own Fringe and everything, so you've no excuse.
It's zombie Simpsons but I love this line>Are you sure God doesn't want it to be dead?
>>153548557Woo-hoo!
>>153533966A friend of mine's AIM handle back in the day was SuperNintendoChalmers.
>>153535927>I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his childrenAlso, and unrelated to Mr Tatum:>Stop! He's already dead!
>>153537735>Please forgive my unexplained two-week absence. To make it up to you, we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaurant, then have a night of efficient German sex.
>>153550400In that one moment, Bob got what he wanted from the beginning: admiration for his talent.
>>153550400It has spoken lines so it's not technically an opera despite being treated as such. I like G&S for referencing their works within their works like the line from The Major General's Song where he refers the HMS Pinafore as "infernal nonsense".>I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies>I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!>Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore>And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
>>153551693>>It has spoken lines so it's not technically an operaIsn't it an operetta then? I dunno how this shit works
>>153546035It's important to remember seasons 3 to 10 were all 11/10's consistently. By comparison 5 to 8 seasons of good to average episodes is going to feel like a step down no matter how you slice it. There's also the fact that everything post-movie not only outnumbers pre-movie seasons, it's also just so much worse across all metrics. The teens were the transitionary period between excelpence and "satisfactory". Everything post movie is just drudgery.
>>153529229Man alive! There are...men alive in here!>>153548534>but they just can’t get the spices right.This one gets me because he says this last part as if the missing spices are some moral failing that society has to answer for.
>Congratulations, Simpson. You just fell for our sting, and won yourself three months' detention. There's no such thing as Scotchtoberfest.>There's not? You used me, Skinner! You used me!
I think about this gag whenever I see sno balls.
>Oh, look. This is a perfect chance to get you kids some nice church shoes.>What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.>Well, maybe if he had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.
>do not touch willie >good advice
Money can buy many peanuts.
>NO! Just candy! Ninety dollars!
>>153529229>I know you can read MY thoughts, boy... Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow>Simpson, Homer Simpson>He's the greatest guy in history>From the Town of Springfield>He's about to hit a chestnut tree, AHH!
>>153552163>he actually got the right amount of meows
>>153529229Do jokes from deleted scenes count?>(Brother From Another Sitcom; Cecil's gun and money goes over the dam and lands in front of Hans Moleman)>"Thank you, God. (threatens with gun) Now hand over the rest of it. ... That's it, nice and slowly."
>I'm so smart. I'm so smart. I'm so smart.>S.M.R.T. >I'm mean>S.M.A.R.T.
>Go ahead! Throw your vote away! HAHAHAHAHAHA
>>15353218425+ years and I still remember this once a week
>>153546035One good joke doesn't make up for the mediocrity of the overall seasons
>>153552370>"Why am I being enslaved to build a giant death ray aimed at a planet I've never heard of?">"Don't look at me. I voted for Kodos!"
>>15354945310/10 Apu joke afterward as well
>>153529229>"There's this movie I saw about a bus that was SPEEDING through the city keeping its SPEED up and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called... 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down'."
>>153552455>What were you thinking, sir? I mean thank you, come again.
>>153550400there's a couple of good performances up in full on YT
>>153551572>"Bake him away, toys!"
>>153552814Perhaps, but it's not the same experience as seeing it live - acting, singing, jokes, and the overall vibe - with other people.
>>153547371>I'm usually doodling or mentally undressing the female parishioners.
>>153529229>Kids, today we have to talk about Krusty brand Chew Goo gum-like substance.>We knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus, well, that really came out of left field!
>"Help, I need tungsten to live! TUNGSTENNNNN!"
>>153553337>"Nooooooooo tungsten! WEEPwoop!"
>>153551693that's stupid, the magic flute has spoken segments too and anyone who says it's not an opera can go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQpTGKXAxqA&t=50s fufufufu fufufufu fufufufu fuuck fufufufu fufufufu fufufufufu fuuck fufufufu fufufufu fufufufu fufufufu fufufufu fufufufu fuuuck fuuuck themselves
>>153551792>eat literally any meal during trip to Japan>its amazing>get Japanese food back here in the states>its shit He's not wrong. We need to burn it all to ashes. On general goddamn principle.Also pic related comes to mind like three times a week for me
>>153552346>this was a legit goof by Castelenetta in the recording booth they left in because it was perfect for the scene
