My grandfather was a master tradesman and gave me some of the best advice I'll take to the grave... never reveal your full hand of what you can fix or do. I miss him a lot.
I've given estimates that are knowingly like half of what a contractor would charge and they still balk. Just stop trying, they probably don't even see us as human.
Family is by discretion, as are good good friends... but they usually don't ask.

no they all know I'm incompetent

I'll fix their shit for free, but only if it annoys me personally.
if they want something done in particular then they can hire a jobbie.

I usually just do it because I always talk myself into thinking I should be more helpful, then get pissed a quarter of the way into the job (part of my process, it happens every time) and remain that way until I finish to the actual best of my ability, and just hope they think I'm unstable and don't ask again.

>>2966402
no, they ask me politely if i can help and if i think the job is in my competence i do so
I don't charge them because they are my family and/or friends
i know, it's a wild concept for an American to fathom

>>2966402
for small handyman type things I will help and show them how to do it themselves next time, but I'm not going to commit to a multi day project for someone else or be the only one working.
If Ishow up for a few hours to help with a larger project there better be pizza and beer

>>2966402
Just don't complete a project on purpose so you can point to it and say "after I get that done". So there's been a cracked window in my garage for a couple years.

Someone asked me once why I don't do cabinet in woodworking as a professional. I told them I wasn't prepared to put up with that kind of stupidity in what essentially is my Escape Hobby

I'll help them through a simple job if I feel like they can actually take it to heart and do it themselves next time. I'll do anything my old man asks of me though, he's too old to b climbing ladders and fucking with electrical shit though.

>>2966402
I tell them I don’t have time, and then they offer to pay me.

I Replaced a bunch of lightbulbs for my aunt the other day and didn't even do it right and she still insisted she pay me. I said she didn't have to. I asked for $50. Despite what i keep seeing ive never had an issue with people paying me for work or trying tobtalk me down in price. I charge $75 an hour for side work for reference.

My mom is a mail carrier and asks me to change the oil in her jeep every 3-5k miles with full synthetic. She goes ahead and buys the oil and filter so I just skip the 5k change and tell her every other change that I'll buy the stuff to do it

>>2967004
Why don't you just tell her that 8k miles is ok?

File: IMG_0803.jpg (64 KB, 886x1024)

64 KB JPG

I don’t charge my family money to help them because I’m not Jewish or American

>>2966402
I tell them next year, unless it's my parent.

>>2967046
this desu.

File: sad.jpg (65 KB, 490x554)

65 KB JPG

>>2966478

>>2967012
Tried, she insists

>>2966409
>never reveal your full hand of what you can fix or do.
At this point, relatives mostly assume that I can build or repair more or less anything. I usually charge materials for close relatives that ask for something, with some level of discounted labor for more distant relatives / neighbors / friends / etc.

>>2966402
>How do you politely say you want payment or just tell them to hire someone?
I tell them I'm not skilled/experienced enough to make it look good and would diminish the value of their home.

>>2966446
>I'll fix their shit for free, but only if it annoys me personally.
This. My sister trims my trees and bushes when they make my house look ugly. I made insulation upgrades to her house and clean her condenser/evap coils because I don't want to be in a hot and humid house.

>>2966402
They're friends and family so I help them, and when I need help with something they can help with, they help me. Or they buy/make me dinner or something as thanks. If they ask for a project that sounds like more than I can handle comfortably I say "that sounds like more than I can handle." It's really that simple.

>>2966402
Never reveal your power level or you'll be everyone's slave. You'll have neighbors asking you to fix their shit. If you say no, your a selfish asshole.

>>2967160
Have you considered adopting better cultural values?

>>2967160
This is true

>>2967167
He’s right though. I have to stop myself from getting into my neighbors’ bullshit. I did that at the last house and I’d be trying to go on a date on a Saturday walking out the door in nice clothes and a neighbor would be like “Hey can you take a look at this real quick?”. And then if another neighbor sees me fixing that, they have a list of stuff for me to look at.

At my current house I stay out of other people’s shit. I did an oil change for one neighbor when I was bored, but beyond that I installed a fuckin Ring doorbell for another neighbor and the next thing I know he’s asking me to look at his sprinkler system, which is always a clusterfuck involving shovels if they haven’t been keeping it maintained.

Also recently I was bringing my little tool bag to an old man buddy’s apartment on the beach full of retirees because I had to change a light switch and a couple other small things, and this old guy in the elevator almost didn’t let me walk away without looking at some drywall he needed patched. Now I have to smuggle screwdrivers into that building in my asscrack,

>>2967183
>and a neighbor would be like “Hey can you take a look at this real quick?”
And you say "No." Prioritizing saving face over honesty is a cultural value which causes all sorts of problems, including promoting the incentives you're talking about there where people hide what they have and can do because their property and labor is regarded as collective property (which is another dysfunctional cultural value that often goes along with it). Rather than hiding from your neighbors and people in general, you could be honest with them about what conditions you would attach to doing work for them, or that you're not interested.

>>2966402
Take advantage? I'd say no. They know I'm handy, but they also know I don't have any free time, so I don't get asked for anything.
If they need help with something and can work out an appointment time, and feed me, yeah I'll help. Like my sister needed a gate welded one time so she invited us all over and fed us.

>>2966402
Simple. I say no. when I got married my mother-in-law thought I was free labor because she found out I can do electrical, plumbing, and whatever work. I fixed her bathroom sink once and sliced my hand open on something I did not see when trying to remove the old faucet and that was it. never again.

I do almost all my own repairs but if it requires me buying special tools I will probably only use once then I call an expert to do it.

I rebuilt all the toilets in my house when I found that the toilet tank bolts where held on by good intentions, but called plumber when I found that all the under sink valves in all the bathrooms were frozen open. it took 2 guys half the day to replace them because they had to cut the old valves off, and use some special tool to prep the copper pipe and put the new valves on.

the new valves are the "turn 90 degrees type" and not the cheap plastic multiple turn ones that were there originally.

I rebuilt my side gate, but paid someone else to paint the house and re roof it.

I replaced my own water heater. but hired a company to install propane tanks for my kitchen stove.

>>2966402
I replaced the heat exchanger in my brothers AC because it was cheaper for me to do that then hire someone else. however when I got tired of fixing their 30 year old AC unit I bought him a new one so I get about 10 years of a reprieve as it has a warranty. yes my brother is a dead beat when it comes to money but he would help me any time I asked for any reason and often without getting paid. I know this is a concept eurotards can't understand about family.

>>2967411
>it took 2 guys half the day to replace them because they had to cut the old valves off, and use some special tool to prep the copper pipe and put the new valves on.


You mean one of these things? Yeah it cuts and 'preps' the pipe in 30 seconds, the other special tool is sandpaper. I bet they had to call in a third specialist who had the blowtorch and solder license. You made sure to thank them for their cervix right?

File: copper-pipe-cutter-271863(...).jpg (146 KB, 1500x1000)

146 KB JPG

>>2967414
Fuck, I forgot to call in the guy with the picture, hell if I'm going to do that myself.

>>2966402
No they don't care.
They even bully me for not being smart enough to earn but smart enough to fix things.

Never family, but I let it slip at work one time (was a personal trainer at a chain gym), and I became the defacto repairman when the actual repair guy wasn't around. Ceiling tiles need replaced? Asked me to do it. Cable machine broke? Same deal. I never really had an issue since they were generally easy/short fixes, and I generally like fixing things

It reached a breaking point when they asked me to drive a Uhaul to another location for new treadmills with the company owner, should've been an easy job but they didn't bother to measure and make sure the treadmills would fit through the door (they did not fit). I ended up having to disassemble the new treadmills to get them on the Uhaul and then reassemble them at our gym. All said and done, it was about a 12 hour job. Worst of all? They tried to get out of paying me. I ended up getting paid after my manager talked to the owner, and we worked something out, and even then, it was WELL below what anyone else would've charged. That was the last time I did anything there, and I quit a few months later.

i do complicated shit for free for my sister in exchange for free rent at her new townhouse

it's a good gig. i do feel like shit for taking the deadbeat clown pill but my sister i think is appreciative of the work i do

File: Screenshot_20251228_14110(...).jpg (123 KB, 1080x533)

123 KB JPG

>>2967416
Not.him but i always wanted one of these and totally can't justify it

>>2967624
When the world is a circus, become the clown

I don't mind helping but people better know better than ask to borrow my tools. Last time I lent out a cordless impact, I finally just went in my bro in law's garage and got it back after over a month

>>2966402
it happens occasionally. I'm good at ignoring people and not maintaining relationships so it's not an issue. Most recently was a wife of a coworker at a happy hour a few weeks ago. I put in my notice as I now have the financial runway to try and make my side hustle a full time job, so we were celebrating my escape. Wifey tells me I'll have so much time on my hands and that I could do some charity work, like renovate their basement... She's a couple years shy of a full state pension which probably includes healthcare. Hubby has made it known he's got over a million in his 401k. But who cares, lets get a younger guy trying to break out and build something, burn his time and money, because having 10x my net worth and guaranteed income just isn't enough.

My sister tried the same shit nearly a decade ago. Wanted me to drive 6hrs round trip to spend a day painting a room but she'd 'buy me some beer'. I dont think shes ever said a nice thing to me in my life.

Thinking about it now, it's almost always women who try and pull this shit. Pretty easy to avoid though, just do nothing or say no.

>>2966478
>>2967046
Not charging friends or family is a nice concept and all, it's just not practical. Free labor like that is built on reciprocity. If you're a contractor and your relatives are useless, like office drones or teachers, putting aside paying work to get nothing in return is a luxury you may not be able to afford.

>>2967925
Very sensible. I do hate that as I got more money all the favors in my friendship have just turned transactional.

I got friends that run garages now. Now I can't ask him to come over and fuck with.my car.together because that's his full time job now and it would just be better to take it to the shop, and then like, do I need a discount? That'd feel like we're buds like back in the day. But shouldn't I insist on paying full rate for his labor?

>>2967946
>But shouldn't I insist on paying full rate for his labor?
yes. The shop existing is either a rent or mortgage payment. And since he's a legit business the state probably has its hand out for some sort of permitting or licensing too. If you're not paying full and can't offer up any service in return, you're taking food off your boy's table.