How did this no-physique mentally impoverished shithead ever get famous? I can't believe how bad he looks even at his supposed best. He was disliked by everyone who spent more than five minutes with him and he has negative rizz.
>>76578762Jews
>>76578762his early movies were more like ong bak where he was hitting guys 'for real' and for this same reason his stunt people hated him
The original McDojo Master
>>76578762none of his backstory makes any sense and changes all the timehe was some autist who was like wow kung fu! then somehow as some teen moved to japan, worked and lived there... how? you need a work visa, even in the 70s. so I think he worked as some pay for play gayboy to some yakuza, then studied some martial arts and worked as protection.then he got assigned a wife who was a former prostitute probably to get him permanent residency. then he had kids with her. then went back to america, deal drugs into hollywood and the tristate mafia on behalf of yakuza. then he got involved with the russian mafia as a broker.the movies he was in were his cover. kikes and criminals gave him the movie rolls as cover for him being an international drug lord.desu I respect the hustle. he can actually fight it seems, he knows a lot of powerful people in japan, russia, and now dubai, and even though his japanese sucks now its better than that of most foreigners and he was probably better in his 20s.
>>76578904JCVD was the same. coked out of his mind and even blinded someone during a shoot.
>>76578762>How did this no-physique mentally impoverished shithead ever get famous?All the kids fell for martial arts bullshit back then. Adults too. He and his characters acted like they were experts.It's basically that tai chi grandmaster getting his ass kicked in 5 seconds by random mma fighter.
>>76578912JCVD at least was athletic and talented in his sport.
>>76578912JCVD could actually fight, and proved it in legit competition. Seagal did akido, which is a fucking fake martial art.If you want to hear a funny story of Seagal's bitch status read: https://movieweb.com/jean-claude-van-damme-feud-with-steven-seagal-explained/
>>76578977I thought Seagal did judo? Not that it makes him less of a bitch but the styles are different
>>76578910Even this seems very exaggerated and I honestly think the guys was just lucky, got to know a couple of influential people by accident, somebody thought he should be put in a couple of movies, made some money, it all went to his head and his ego blew up so goddamn hard he even bent reality with it and now he believes all his own lies.
>>76578991No, his bum buddy Putin does judo.Seagal is a "7th dan blackbelt in aikido". Aikido is a martial art that involves you pretending to throw people as they hurl themselves around the room. At some point long in it's past it had some legitimacy as techniques for samurai to use to fight if they found themselves knocked off their horse. But it's just a fucking joke now.
>>76578992I mean, he does have kids with some jap woman, he does speak some japanese and can do so off-the-cuff, he is connected to organized crime at least in the tristate area, and he is friends with people like Putin himself as well as some higher ups on the japanese government. cant fake that
>>76579035Seagal is a blag artist. For decades he's claimed he's done "work for the CIA" and shit, but it's just lies. I would love to have been in the room when he said he "could get out of any chokehold" and that stuntman put him in a headlock until he passed out and pissed himself.
>>76579049notice where I didnt say cia. yes he is a bullshitter, but there are real things in his history. read >>76578910his cia bullshit is to cover for the fact that he worked for organized crime as a fixer of sorts. especially back in the day with bullshido times and stolen valor and preinternet stuff, people would explain away weird gaps in lifestyle with "cia". sounds better than working as a criminal or doing shit jobs.
>>76579063Nigga you don't need to be some mafia badass to marry a Japanese girl and know how to say desu.
>>76579080you think that you can just move to different countries as a teen? I can tell youve never lived or worked abroad
>>76579063>people would explain awayLOL he's the one who says it. He's the one who says all this shit about himself. He's 100% bullshit, just like his martial art is.
>>76579063>his cia bullshit is to cover for the fact that he worked for organized crime as a fixer of sorts. especially back in the day with bullshido times and stolen valor and preinternet stuff, people would explain away weird gaps in lifestyle with "cia". sounds better than working as a criminalThis has got to be a double fake. He knows he got caught on the martial arts and black ops bullshit so now he's a mobster lol.
He has some pure kinos... On Deadly Ground and Fire Down Below
It's called rizz, chud
>>76579091yes you fucking moron, he is a person isnt he? holy shit you're braindead
>>76579105Under Seige was his best movie, but that was mostly due to Gary Busey, Tommy Lee Jones, and Erika Eleniak's tits.
>>76578762lmao took me a while to recognize this fag. As a millenial i know him as an old fat action movie actor with a rat tail which he takes off and hangs on a hook after closing an anti nigger door in an ad for said doors.
>>76579140funny that younger ppl especially in the west know chow yun fat as some old wuxia guy, but as a yung buck he was a straight up badass in the HK action films like hardboiled, the killer, etc.
>>76578762Jew who cut corners as usual
>>76578910>he was probably better in his 20s.>>76579035>he does speak some japanesehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrDnZubrLYwDon't know the exact date but he looks early 30s here. He was highly fluent, borderline native, basically like English for latinos born and raised in America. Dude even had the right accent. Wildly impressive considering 1) how late he started learning, 2) how tough japanese is to learn, and 3) how dogshit japanese cultural exchange and tourism was until the 90s.Quite the fraud but this was still pretty impressive
>>76578977Kekked hard
>>76579003Before I knew what Akido was or has stupid it is I've had a couple of friends try to show me some "moves" and it always went the same way. They'd be like "ok try to to attack me" so I'd take a normal fighting stance and start trying to do light sparring and they'd immediately be like "no no no.... attack me like this" and I'd be like, "I'd never try downward karate chopping you from this angle" and they'd be "like no no no, attack just like THIS in this direction" so I'd be a good sport and do it like they said "and then they do some stupid wrist grab and attempt to twist which I would immediately pull away from and they'd be like "no no no, you have to let me do it like this" and at that point I'm like "this is retarded."
>>76579534kys kekke bloody basterd bitch
>>76579870Honestly a lot of martial arts is like that, not just Akido. I mean akido is bullshit through and through, but its as much a failure of training as anything. Saw it all the time with MCMAP (Marines martial art program) when I was an instructor. Techniques are initially taught against a non-resisting opponent—we called it carrying suitcases, but its just t-posing. Arms hanging away from sides, feet spread a foot or two apart. Just so students can figure out how to do the thing properly, what it should feel like, what the result should be.Problem is a lot of them never went beyond that. So they could do a hip throw against someone just standing there or coming from one very specific angle, but ask them to do it in sparring, god forbid a real fight, and they flailed like retards.I suspect that is the case for most people that "train" martial arts.
>>76578762His life is like this weird self-reinforcing loop.He is so delusional (like cult leader level of delusion) that he actually believes it, he believes his own delusions so much that it was enough to convince others to believe, he gets opportunities because of it and hence his delusion is further enforced. The cycle repeats over and over again.Maybe there is something to retardmaxxing. He is prime example it works.
>>76578991Speaking of Judo, Gene LeBell choked Seagull out so hard he shit himself
>>76580002Then on the other hand you have our boy Hemmingway.
>>76579003There is *some* legitimacy to certain Aikido techniques, particularly the wristlocks, but on the whole the martial art is so watered down with bullshit that it's useless>>76579870The downward karate chop in particular comes from, I believe, a sword strike, and the move in question was probably meant to disarm your opponentBut yeah, the problem with Aikido is as you describe; the techniques aren't pressure tested in the slightest, as the training is just a fully compliant drillA quick litmus test on whether a martial art is legit is how often they do live sparring. The actually useful ones spar, in some form, just about every training session and those that don't quickly degenerate into Aikido-esque nonsense
>>76579063>organized crimeThe extent of his association with the mob is that he owed them money for movies that he ultimately didn't make and they politely reminded him to either pay the fuck up or get his kneecaps deletedThe FBI basically bailed him out when they arrested the guys and made him testify in court about the threats
>>76578762Well, first off you've gotta understand the sheer levels of cocaine flowing through Hollywood. Secondly, we were still kind of retarded about martial arts and it was a neat fad so they pumped sooooo much martial arts garbage into production. Anyone with a bit of martial arts knowledge who could act servicably got a movie or two. Of course most of these dudes were grifters, but I always had a hunch even the coked up Hollywood guys knew shit like Frank Dux's Kumite death match story was bullshit, but telling an entertaining story is more important than reality.Oh in any case I think segal was mobbed up of something to do with underworld ties
>>76578762>Nearly every major movie studio was founded in the early 20th century by a group of first-generation secular Jews who immigrated to the United States from Eastern Europe.https://archive.ph/7mDf3>>76578883>>76579359>The actor’s paternal grandparents were Russian Jews who immigrated to the U.S.https://archive.ph/ky4gb
>>76578762I used to think seagal was awesome when I was 5. Thats about the level of maturity you need to enjoy or believe a word out of this guy's mouth.
>>76578762>negative rizz.Speak English for fuck's sake.
>>76578910>he can actually fight it seemsNigga he can't, that's just another reason people make fun of him for.
He was charismatic and is a master of bullshit. That can get you pretty far. He got super lucky as well. One of his martial arts students was a super rich and powerful Hollywood agent who decided to make Seagal famous
>>76578912Difference being that Van Damme obviously never hurt anyone on purpose and you can see it in private footage how he feels bad when he accidentally kicks someone during sparring.That UFC guy he kicked accidentally he apologized and was down mentally cause he thought he ruined that guys fighting career.Also Van Damme is an actual decent actor, as in really extremely good, he playing himself in JCVD was the best performance of 2008 by a long shot. It was strange that this didn't followed up with better roles and he just did direct to dvd stuff again (he did have some notable exceptions like The Bouncer and the great Universal Soldier sequels later on, but else he pretty much did the same stuff as always).
>>76578762cause he knew why richie did bobby lupo
>>76580220Every single fucking time
>>76580220I believe that the explanation that I've once heard was that at its inception, film was seen as an inferior art form to theater, so the respectable producers and actors didn't want to touch it. And since people didn't like Jews and discriminated against them pretty heavily in theater, they turned to film where they were largely uncontestedNot entirely dissimilar from how they turned to banking back in Europe
>>76578762/fit/ action movie general when? watch yamakasi
