>Be me>23>Never really liked sport, was always a bit skinny fat (around 75 kg for 1m87)>Discover lifting by accident and start enjoying it a ton>Gain a good amount of strength, size but always a bit fat (around 15-20% bf)>Decide to start a cut>Count each and every single calories, weigh absolutely EVERYTHING>It starts realy consuming me >Hey maybe if I cut the calories a bit more I'll lose fat faster>Do that for 2 months>Start getting a fuck ton of compliments, I look "great" on pics (even if I'm a complete dyel in any clothes that is not 100% made with elastane kek) >If I'm getting attention because I'm lean I should get even more lean right???>Cut more>Literally eat 1500 cals per day at the end>Spend the ENTIERTY of the day thinking about food>Do some hardcore autism shit, like shewing my food exactly 100 times, spending time in the grosseries store looking at candies, dreaming about going to mcdonald, going on Uber and just dreaming about ordering a great meal etc>People start telling me that it's really really too much>Recover a bit but I still can't eat almost anything without measuring it before I don't know what to do, the funniest thing in this shit is the fact that even at my worst I didn't really lose any insane amount of strength and that the "psychological" side effect were really the only thing that were annoying
>>76752170You're supposed to bulk/gain muscle too. Just try it. You've gotten to the super lean level if we're to believe you, so you know you can come back if you don't like bulking. You lose nothing, and you can keep counting calories if you want to, just make sure you're on calorie surplus.
You know it yourself its the amount of obsessing you do over food thats weird and fucked upWhen I do calorie deficits (im on 1000 calorie deficit right now) I dont obsess over food. The obsessive behaviour you describe does suggest you are drinking the koolaid and developing an ED. It probably makes you feel powerful and in control restricting food intake
>>76752330It's really about control, if I don't exactly know how many cals I ate for this or that meal I start obsessing over it and sometimes don't eat for the rest of the dayI perfectly know that it's completely irrational, but like you said fren... It allows me to feel... In control
shameless self bump
>>76752170Post physique or this is a larp. You type like a fatass
Well you still have the awareness to know you're underweight and on the wrong path rather than being deep within the grip of the disorder. The most sensible thing to do (besides speaking to your doctor) would be to just... consciously start gaining weight.Deliberately eat an extra meal every day. Force it down. Deliberately eat 2 teaspoons of peanut butter a day (in addition to your 4 meals, not in place of one). Reduce cardio volume. Stay this course for several months and you know you'll gain weight.To take it all back to vanity, you know yourself that being underweight isn't as aesthetic as being a normal weight and having some musculature to you. People telling you that you've "gone too far" or that you "look thin" is confirming this.
