>>76950194
Well anon you feel good because you have an addiction, you need to be honest with yourself,but I think because you have 3 beers i doesn't mean you will have a blown out relapse so be strong anon.
You're that guy with 3 beers and without any alcohol, you still are you the only thing that changes is your confidence so be brave.

how old were you when you quit and what was your problem like? i know plenty of people who had problems with it when they were younger and had to quit, but were able to return to it at a later and drink responsibly.

you should see a therapist about your anxiety so you can work on it. maybe try a nonintoxicating anti-anxiety medicine like l-theanine in the mean time.

>It makes me feel like how I should feel without alcohol which makes it a really addictive substance
this is a lie. it makes you feel better than you should feel. this is what people say about any social drug they're addicted to whether it's alcohol, xanax, coke, molly, etc but the truth is that you are not supposed to feel as confident and carefree as you do when you're drunk. even if you have an anxiety disorder, drinking will overcorrect it, and expecting you to ever function like that sober is setting yourself up for disappointment.

it ain't an alcohol problem it's a you problem. alcohol is just the symptom. Tale as old as time.

>>76950324
>>76950324
I started problem drinking at 18 and quit at 28. So 10 years. I was a full blown alcoholic by the end. We're talking crushing a full crate of beer a day. Maybe 20-40 units a day.

My addiction got to the stage where if I tried to quit I went through weeks and weeks of intense ridiculous craving. To the point where I caved every time

This drinking session a week ago where I drank 3 pints I managed to go to bed and largely not think about it. No serious cravings, no next day obsessing. I do think if I started regular drinking this obsessive craving will return. I am not stronger than my brains desire to drink if it wants to drink.

I guess the question is can I only drink maybe once a month max, maybe once every few months, on special occasions only, and not caving to 'random drinks' all the time such as meeting friends, going for dinner, and all that stuff that normalises drink.

I think being honest with myself, if I have some more drinking sessions this natural progression of my addicted brain will happen where I keep giving myself more forgiveness for drinking until its a weekly thing, then a biweekly thing, then a daily thing.

I understand what you mean in saying Im lying to myself about it making me feel 'normal'. I know what you mean. When I drank those 3 beers I was euphoric. I felt focused and content, motivated. I felt happier than I've been in a long time. I felt loose and social, I felt normal. I think what I mean by feeling like I should feel is that the anxiety levels I experience daily are reduced to a level I think an inhibited person feels like without alcohol. I still struggle socially with my colleagues even though I've known them for years. I can't open up to women or flirt with them, people think I'm weird and I cant get close to people which makes me feel alien. Alcohol removes that which makes it so addictive for me. My physiology means alcohol to me makes me feel focused, anxiety free, motivated and free.

My advice OP, never do it again.

So long as the possibility of drinking exists, your brain will allow yourself to feel incomplete without it.

For example you're on a date and things aren't going smoothly. So long as the possibility exists that you could drink, you brain will continue to say "man this is hard, if only I were drinking".

This can hold you back from changing without it. But as soon as you decide you're simply never going to drink again, no matter what. That possibility no longer exists. It doesn't matter how much easier things would be "if you could drink"... because you simply can't and therefore you need to find other solutions.

As for your anxiety and inability to relax my experience is:
1. This decreases over time. Anxiety is more common in youth
2. Exposure helps a lot. Push yourself to socialize and push yourself to have fun. That latter might sound somewhat contrived but fake it to you make it does really seem to work

For me OP it was meth. Things are just so fun on meth you really question why even bother doing anything once you come off. But once you decide that going back is simply an impossibility, joy starts to creep back into things and eventually you find yourself having fun without it. And once you realize that you're having a good time without it you feel even better, because you're no longer a slave to the drug.

>>76950349
I fully agree with this. The problem is though that I'm now 32 and I didnt drink for 3 years and I havent made adequate progress in being able to be comfortable with women. The time is ticking and I fear I'll end up being 45 with no prospects of dating and it being too late. I'm not one of those guys obsessed with women and feeling sorry for myself but it is undeniable that being single and alone is going to be crippling for my health and future if I cant relax around women and develop healthy relationships (and friendships) for that matter

In these 3 years I have lost weight, exercise, I eat better, I could be doing even healthier habits but largely I have taken a lot of steps which in theory should have helped me to normalise my life. I go to therapy and they always affirm to me im doing so much and to stop being hard on myself, its like they cant see this anxiety weird struggle I have to shoulder (or they are not acknowledging it to not reenforce my negative self talk)

In the last 3 years I have forced myself to go to work socials, gone to addiction groups, group therapy, I am comfortable now in settings I used to have panic attacks in like having to speak at addiction groups to strangers, but I still cant relax to a point where I am confident and have self belief that leads to charisma and strong friendships.

It leads to me wanting to go back to drink. Its a really shitty situation. The reality is I think there's something not right with my brain. I dont know what it is yet though. Its either trauma, some neurodivergency, or good old depression.

>>76950355

If we take everything you’re saying literally it definitely sounds like you should just get hammered every day bro. If you want some validation to destroy yourself you don’t have to look very hard to find it. Try meditating or mega dosing magnesium. Or be weak and start drinking again. Or go to a meeting. Or start abusing opiates instead. Lots of options

>>76950370
I mean I'm not trying to argue that I should drink everyday, I'm just venting. I know what path alcohol waits for me. The only drawback as I said is I need to find out whats wrong with my brain that makes me 'alien'.

I honestly wouldnt be surprised if I pay out of pocket to see a psychologist that they'll say I have some neurodevelopmental disorder and it'd all make a lot more sense. I might even need some medication thats less destructive than alcohol (and more beneficial). Alcohol as a self medication tool always leads to addiction

>>76950194
I would recommend trying low dose THC seltzers instead
They'll help you relax and won't destroy your life

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>>76950194
i genuinely do not have any valuable advice as i have not experienced this. I'm terribly sorry you are going through this and that others have.

Merry Christmas. Keep your head on your shoulders and know that I'm proud of you for fighting and being you.

>>76950194
while I haven't relapsed, I was previously quite a heavy drinker. I've been almost 5 years sober and I've never once had the desire to drink again because all the reasons you listed in your post are total bullshit.

After that 3rd beer, I guarantee that you were not more animated, alive or interesting in the slightest. I'm not trying to be rude, but this is just delusion that alcohol drinkers use to justify it. I used to do it too, "oh be more social, oh give me more confidence" etc etc but it's all nonsense. Once you accept that there are literally zero benefits to drinking alcohol, it makes quitting much easier. Happy to share more of my own story if it helps.

>>76950410
The entire reason I got addicted to alcohol in the first place is I have an autistic like aversion to being relaxed and social. I assure you its not in my head. I literally cant relax around women and when I say I cant relax I dont mean I feel a bit uptight or whatever. I mean I cant even speak and I sweat bullets and feel like my brains being zapped and then I shutdown like some autistic regression from overstimulation

>>76950373
Modern man will spend countless hours and untold amounts of money just for a fat millennial woman or high ranked paykiketrist to tell them. They’re an individual and unique human who doesn’t necessarily fit into some arbitrary behavior pattern

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>>76950194
Two years sober here.
I won't come back to drinking because the benefits of sobriety outweigh the temporary pleasures and facing reality instead of coping with booze while tiresome is worth it.
Real social gains are obtained through sobriety.

>>76950586
This guy sounds like he might need some sort of professional exposure therapy or something if he’s not exaggerating.

>>76950194
>But im worried the precedent of drinking for a social occasion will mean I will now drink for more social occasions until Im back to drinking everyday
Correct, and this is a common pitfall for relapsing alcoholics. It's also the one temptation that I have to resist the most. Quitting alcohol often requires more than simply stopping; I had to deliberately alter my social circle to ensure I wasn't around my old drinking buddies because I knew it was a risk.

>Any other former alcoholics gone back to drinking like once a month and not completely lost everything?
Many have tried, and nearly all of them failed. It's an alcoholic's pipe dream and you're only setting yourself up for failure if you pursue it. The best thing to do for yourself is to stay sober and work on your conversationalist skills sober so you can break one of the main reasons for you drinking in the first place.

>Also I havent told any friends or family I drank a week ago which feels a bit shameful.
This is a sign that you know it's not the way forward. You don't have to outright tell them out of the blue, but if they ask if you've ever relapsed it might feel better to own it and say yeah, I fucked up once, but I got back on it and kept trying because I knew I wanted to get better. One of the ways I knew I truly wanted to keep going was having relapse dreams, where I would dream of myself drinking again and felt shame at the knowledge of me giving up. It was always a relief when I awoke and realized it was only a dream.

Keep going, it could save your life someday. I live in a historically very alcoholic area and I've been sober for 7 years, and if I can find people who support my decision to not drink, then you can too. Merry Christmas.

>>76950194
it's going to take a lot more time to label this an isolated incident. good luck. i'm 18mo sober and i would never try such a thing. that's a slippery slope i don't want to be anywhere near

You are trying to solve 2 seperate issues.
First off, never drink again. You know this, you know why. The problems you will create will be far more severe than anxiety. You will fail doing it moderately, and it will prevent you from ever having meaninful relationships. Dont feel bad that you had a few drinks, but never drink again. I too will never drink again, so know that you're not alone in this.

Second, the problem you're trying to solve: solve it. There are so many ways to deal with anxiety. Just try some of these ways out, and stay disciplined in it. It's fine if you're really awkward or can't hold a conversation. Most people experience this. Just keep trying to do so anyway. Try to be more comfortable in awkward situations. It's fine. In time you will form meaningful personal relationships with people. These people will know you and accept you for who you are. You might still be anxious or uncomfortable around random people, but not around them.

Wanna drink OP?

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>>76951135
>relapse dreams, where I would dream of myself drinking again and felt shame at the knowledge of me giving up. It was always a relief when I awoke and realized it was only a dream

I get that, but with porn.

mfw i wake up

I haven't recovered from addiction or anything and sometimes I wish I drank less, but I managed to sort of integrate drinking into my life without ruining everything.

You have to create a series of rules. First of all, never drink alone. If you're gonna drink socially, also make rules to avoid drinking in excess. For example, only drink beer, don't start drinking until it's past 11 or 12 or whatever makes sense, bring a limited amount of money so you can't spend more if you're tempted, don't drink past a certain time, etc.

You'll get away with it and realize how easy it is to drink like a normal person. That is the most dangerous part. It's generally a bad idea to do this, as you'll very likely end up relapsing in the end, but if you're a social autist you ought to weight it and evaluate the risk. Is it worth being sober and missing out on that large part of socializing? Maybe it is, but for me it's worth the eventual loss of control to be able to socialize like a normal person and let loose.

>>76951306
It's too late for me to try and instill rules. I drank alone in my room for years consecutively. Once you've done that theres no going back to sticking to a strict framework

>>76950194
I used to "problem" drink in highschool. Being shitfaced just felt so fucking good, the energy, the euforia, anxiety just melting away, turning from an autistic asocial into a fun party guy. Once I started drinking I started getting invited to lots of parties and hangouts and made a lot of friends. I wasn't a full blown alcoholic because I was broke and didn't have money to be shitfaced every day. But I exploited every opportunity to get drunk. Going to a friend's place to hang out and talk for an hour? Take his bottle of liquer and get shitfaced. When I had the money I used to get drunk at home. Sometimes I drank some shots in the morning. I sometimes toom my mom's wine bottles to get drunk. I was getting blackout drunk every weekend and got drunk at home around 3 times a week. I often got cravings. I sometimes mixed it with Klonopin.
Then I found a gf and just stopped. I stopped feeling depressed and didn't need the alcohol to cope. The insatiable craving to get absolutely hammered just disappeared in a few months. Now I get shitfaced like 3 times a year otherwise I don't drink any alcohol. I also started abusing kratom which probably replaced the compulsion to get drunk, because I'm using something else to alter my mind. I haven't made any new friends since I stopped problem drinking.

>>76951431
I did that too and then added rules after staying sober for almost a year and it worked out for me.
I had a rather expensive therapy as well which obviously helped. The idea was to stop me from drinking and doing drugs at all, which it failed at, but I became a functional drinker so it was well worth it.

>>76950483
How did it go with the date after the three beers? If good, it must have slightly increase your confidence and gotten you more familiar with her.

>>76951431
But you beat your addictions, 3 years is no small feat.
Your desire to use it as a tool to improve your social life is no doubt genuine and not an excuse to get back at it.
I say do it, if it gets out of hand you've already beat it before.

>>76950194
https://voca.ro/1a0LqTJJgHTT

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I haven't got to as bad of a point as you or for as long, but I did drink over 1/2 a bottle of hard liquor a day for at least two years with varying degrees of near daily consumption prior to those two years. I did something that might not be the most intelligent thing, but it did work although I am still in the early stages. The difficult part of quitting alcohol after binge drinking for years is the withdrawals and the feeling of emptiness that it causes so my genius idea was to just replace that with another drug that I would control from the start unlike alcohol. We all start drinking young and have a very poor relationship with it: the first beers are great and we chase that feeling with every subsequent drink which leads us to the more hysteric and comatose part of drinking that we get deeply hooked on. We now associate drinking a ton with pleasure from the major CNS depression that we get on the later drinks on top of having the euphoria of the first drinks. Anyways, so I had been thinking of taking GHB to lower the calories, but that seemed dangerous. I then somehow probably looking up online what to replace alcohol with and I found kratom leaf (not the pills or extract that shit will rape you). I was quite dubious at first because it is a partial opioid antagonist which as the name implies is an opioid. Some people have it difficult with kratom because they also dose like they would alcohol and never really stop taking it chasing an ever lasting high. I just dosed it under 10g a day as a replacement for alcohol and this was for around 8 months until I decided to stop the kratom too. It wasn't easy, but reading about alcohol withdrawals it was very mild. I endured 5 days of craving and 4 nights of night sweats and sporadic sleep after which it was the same moderate feeling of craving when you have a bad day.

>>76951585
I am not that anon btw funny coincidence there's another wigger talking about kratom

>>76950194
There's is literally zero benefit to alcohol (zero).

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>>76951630
cont

In that time of using kratom for those 8 months I also changed the way that I perceive alcohol. I don't fully understand how you survive the hangovers given that you are older than me, but having tried kratom now I learned how shit alcohol is. The drawbacks to alcohol are terrible and I just spent those 8 months sporadically ranting on alcohol to myself, on paper or to my brother and friends and this helped me know how bad alcohol is in general. It's difficult to enjoy something when you have deep vitriol for it. I actually did the same when I quit nicotine after I had read that one book on how to quit smoking. I used to be completely dependant on nicotine and now I can take nicotine from strangers on random nights out without falling back into it permanently. There is something about drinking for 10 years that I cannot fully comprehend and the reason that I decided to take another drug was to avoid the fact that I might become encroached like my grand fathers and my father to a jewish liquid that makes you puke when you drink too much of it and hurt everywhere the day after. Maybe try to use kratom to fix that social anxiety when you go out. It works for me and as an added bonus when I take 5g in one go and two hours later I have sex then I last 3 times as long. Is it smart to use more drugs to fix a drug addiction? I don't know. I always planned to create a reasonable relationship to alcohol like I have with nicotine, but at some point perhaps your brain has been so deeply rewired that a drink even after 3 years of sobriety will get you back to where you were and erase all this progress. Good luck either way if you even read my slop

>>76950194
> Waah wash wahh
> Muh anxiety
I hate these alcoholics so fucking much. Go pick another drug you autistic nigger. Maybe get on Wellbutrin it might make you less of a whiny fucking faggot.
It's immensely cringe. Fuck Ill drink and then regret it for 2 days after. Why the fuck faggots like OP can get addicted to this shit is beyond me.

>>76951681
Using kratom kinda rewired my brain imo. It doesn't feel as good as getting shitfaced but it also doesn't make you feel as bad as getting too drunk and having a hangover. It has basically no bad side effects (so far, I'm sure it's unhealthy in some way), you just feel good for a few hours and then you feel normal again.
I started taking it because I wanted to get high but I managed to limit my use to 3g twice a week. Then I fucked up my back by improper lifting and I started using kratom as a painkiller. I was in pain 24/7 so I gradually upped my dose to 20g a day. I think I kinda used the pain as an excuse to take more though.
It's been a year since I started taking it daily and I don't really have any motivation to stop even though I'm not in pain anymore. I just have this insatiable craving to be high in some way and kratom seems as the most low risk option. It's also extremely cheap, it costs me like 20 dollars a month.

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I went from hardcore alcoholic (at least a little of hard liquor a night, 5-6 days a week, for ten plus years), to occasional coolers (like 4-7 coolers, once a week).
It took me quitting my job of 9.5 years and going back to school to give me the drive/reason to get clean.
Recently I quit smoking and switched to vaping and drinking is boring once you arent getting the dopamine spikes of cigarettes.
Usually by the third drink I'd rather just eat dinner and watch tv.
Not making a resolution because I dont believe in those but will probably drop alcohol altogether in 2026 just because it's not fun anymore.

>>76951833
*litre

>>76950194
do lsd, mushrooms or ibogaine while meditating on your addiction

Alcoholics anonymous founder actually did LSD before breaking his addiction and making the group

>>76951685
>20 year old thinks he has answers for real life.

Actual alcohol withdrawal is pure misery and potentially lethal. If you never partied enough to experience it, good. But don't act like it's some incomprehensible thing. Some people were just more careless at your age and they pay for it later.

>>76950194
>Any other former alcoholics gone back to drinking like once a month and not completely lost everything?
I started drinking again after about 2 years sober and was like this for a while. But slowly I slipped into my old habits and after a few months I was just as bad as before. There was a little voice in my head saying 'you've gone 2 years without a drink, you'll be able to drink moderately now' but it was a complete lie. I wish I hadn't started again.
Now I'm about 18 months sober again but stopping the second time was really fucking hard.
Nip this in the bud and don't pick up another drink, OP. It's not fucking worth it. Look for other avenues to solve your problems. They won't be instant and they might not feel good in the short term but in the long run you'll be much happier.

>daily alcohol thread
ALWAYS kekke spam