>>77103840
You can lead a rose to water but you can't make it drink.

So basically you've done everything you can. Better that you help willing based white men instead of those that won't help themselves

>>77103840
Invite him to activities that are somewhat fun and give him a reality check on his health. Ask what's stopping him from going.

Pressuring softly is not going to work when he has no desire to go anyway. You need a different approach unless be thrives off of soft pressure, which he doesn't in this context.

>>77103840
tell him he's a pathetic faggot and a waste of oxygen

I have a friend like this. He's on antidepressants, drinks too much, got fat as fuck recently

Took him to the gym a few times and he went through the motions but he doesn't go when left to his own devices.

You can't live their lives for them. Same with fat girlfriends

>>77103840
>how do i deal with these kind of people, do i just give up and let him die?
Have you tried calling him a little bitch yet? I know I would

>>77103840
Worry about your own life, idiot.

>>77103853
I've got a friend like this and have tried this but he doesnt seem to care.

>>77103849

Bro insists he is fine, denies having a gaming addiction.

Literally ended a relationship because "he didn't have enough times to play videogames". He is a very cool dude tho personality wise and he has been a good friend in the past, it hurts to see him destroy his life, sometimes I wish a massive EMP just took all power down for 6 months

>>77103862
My guy is also Vidya addicted, spends most weekends playing space marine 2

I even played a couple of games with him to try and lure him out, but it's not happening, the Jews got him.

I would literally have to kidnap andoldboy him to get him off his meds and to get him fit

>>77103840
you call someone who instantly blocks you a friend? thats the weird part here lol

>>77103840
I am 30, live by myself and also mostly spend my time either at work, watching anime or playing vidya. But anyway above the age of 20 you can't keep up this lifestyle anymore without at least some exercise and supplements so I go to the gym once or twice a week for some mix of cardio and resistance training.

>>77103840
Some people can't be helped

Do you wanna fuck him or something retard? You are courting him like he is your wife. Let the man be, you reap what you sow.

>>77103866
>spends most weekends playing space marine 2
If it's the weekend then it's good. Vidya is not the enemy.

I enjoy vidya but i will never miss a workout for them

>>77103840
What do you do? You leave him behind so his bullshit doesn't infect your life. You did what you could. You become the people you spend time with. Would you ever want to become him?

>>77103916
I mean, I do understand wanting to help people whom you like even without direct benefits.

>>77103840
You can't save people who don't want to be saved. Move on.

>>77103840
Why are you so nosey? Just let him live his shitty life. He'd be dead by 50 but you probably won't even be talking to him at that time anyway

Some people never grow out of their teenage years. Move on, let the man hold ruin his life. Fucking plebbitors insist gaming isn’t a problem when it’s the leading factor for idiots never growing up and living in their fantasy worlds

>>77103840
>blocks me on every app
Are you one of those retards that doesn't just text your friend, but rather messages through Snapchat or Instagram or discord or any other 3rd party system? If so you both deserve this.

why the fuck are you trying to force some other grown man to do shit

how have you not learned that is the most completely pointless thing ever

>>77103840
Make appointments for him. Tell him you'll pick him up tomorrow at a certain time, and then ignore whatever he responds with. Show up at the time and expect him to be ready. Realistically, he'll not come out at first, and that's okay, but if you just show up over multiple days he'll eventually expect you and agree to a quick 30 minute workout session, even if it's only to get you to fuck off. From there, you got him on the hook, and all you have to do is lure him in fully by showing him only the cool exercises (curls, bench press, whatever), drinking protein shakes together and sending him tiktoks of jacked dudes or other motivational content.

>>77103862
>>77103866
You could try fixing the problems that are driving people to vidya addiction, like the shitty women, shitty government, shitty wages, lack of future prospects and so on. If people found real life to be more interesting they'd be less inclined to spend all their time on vidya. But you won't, so I'm not sure why you give these people shit over it.

You should just lean into addictions
Personally I started losing weight and working out after I had a health scare
I do want to live longer to play more games and watch more anime

>>77103840
You got what you deserved, OP.
Even when you try to present your story in a light favorable to you, you come off as an insufferable shithead.

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>>77103840
Being friends with a creature as pathetic as this was going to lead to heartbreak and disappointment sooner or later. Gaming addiction is not stigmitized hard enough for how harmful it is to a man. Imagine trying to get a chainsmoker to quit at the height of big tabacco healthwashing campaigns.

>>77103866
>Space marine 2
Couldn't even get a good game to get addicted to. Video games are the jew, they feed you easy dopamine and illusions of progress and achievement. Quit playing by myself some weeks ago and now only play with friends when i'm asked to, but i'm trying to limit that too.

>>77103840
Stop trying to fix their shitty lives. I was once like this, trying to constantly be the one that is helping and giving advice to others. Most of the time, they won't listen to you because most people nowadays are self-absorbed hoes and can't conceive of the idea of being wrong and even if they realize they are in a shitty situation, they'll get irritated by you handing out advice because, within their silly little minds, they already have the right solution, they just "haven't started yet". In the case they listen to your advice, prepare to be seen as the advice guy and nothing more than that, just the one they resort to if they're having a problem and want to be walked through it like kids. Just don't do it, man, it's not worth it. I'm not saying people should abandon their friends in need, just, give a bit of advice here and there, every now and then, don't be the guy that tries to walk them through their issues. If they listen, that's cool, if they don't, that's their problem, end of the story. You don't repeat yourself twice

>>77103840
Some people have a hard time dealing with the shame and regret of not following through on things they said they'd do. It's a negative feedback loop that traps them in their habits. You slip up once, feel bad about it, then the shame damages your self-esteem and destroys your drive to try again, leading to more shame, leading to more stagnation. I struggled with the same thing in other areas of my life
Instead of asking him or prodding him to go, try simply inviting him instead.
>Do
"Hey man Im about to go to the gym. I'd love to have you there with me if you're free, I could use a good spotter."
This is more inviting and is more likely to give him a sense of self worth and purpose.
>Don't
"Have you been going recently? I know you said you really wanted to. You should go."
While you think you might be helping by holding him accountable, what you're actually doing is compounding on what is likely his own harsh self-criticism and could be making things worse.

Couple other tricks you could try:
>have something fun to do afterwards
>start with low impact cardio instead of lifting weights (less intimidating for beginners)
>bring him to active but non-fitness activities that will raise his own self-awareness like >>77103845 mentioned

Ultimately it is up to him to take the first step, but you can still try and make that first step easier for him to take.

>>77103866
>spends most weekends playing space marine 2
What does he main?

>>77103840
The majority of people are lazy and retarded and will never go out of their comfort zone. They won't ever do anything that might be difficult or uncomfortable even if it leads to future benefits. Even if he does go to the gym he will just half ass everything with minimal effort to get it over it. He won't ever push himself to the point his eyes are bulging and he's on the verge of passing out.

The only person you can save at the end of the day is yourself. Don't waste your time on people who don't want to change.

You can nudge your friend
But if he can't, he won't. And that is the sad reality of adult life.

Jiggle his moobs anytime you see him

>>77103840
could be worse
>friend circle doing mostly sports
>occasionally we play shit like CS
>i get bored and try other games
>mention wow to friend
>he gets addicted
unintentionally ruined his life

>>77103840
Why did you think he would want a nagging wife for a friend? I’m active myself but damn that shit sounds annoying. Mind your business

>>77103849
I'm dealing with this shit too. I've taken 5 friends to the gym with me over the years.
>3 of them don't go at all anymore, they stopped going as soon as I stopped asking
>1 goes pretty regularly but makes zero progress because he trains like a pussy, refuses to diet, and regularly stops going for weeks or even months because he just doesn't feel like it
>1 who did go with me often AND actually trained hard, but even he just randomly took a 6 month break and now refuses to take it seriously

I truly believe that most people just aren't built for the gym, and you need to have a certain type of personality/psyche to be able to stick to it for a long time. Most people just go so that they can go through the motions and then tell other people that they went to the gym today.

>>77103840
invite him out for actual activities where walking would be a good chunk of it, like take him to the zoo, for a hike, etc and make sure to bring condoms
you have to get him to change his lifestyle in a way that tricks him, not just lecture him into eating vegetables

>>77104611
personally year 2 was much easier than start. I think its just a matter of forming a habit. You get used to anything when done long enough.

>>77103840
OP you're retarded.
The guy didn't want your help and also told you that having you nagging him was demotivating, you kept doing it.
You told him a couple of times, fine, after that you're just getting off feeling superior being the personal life coach he didn't ask for.
If anything you accelerated his demise.
Try to live without thinking how many sets other people are doing.

>>77103840
You have to go into the gym with a mindset, someone who just games probably doesn't push himself at anyhting. Prolly bad at the video games he plays too.

>>77103861
>have tried
It's supposed to be a barrage, not a one and done

>>77103840
>do I just give up and let him die
After a certain point yeah

>>77103840
god damn you annoying as shit OP

>>77103840
30 years old playing video games all day? this loser does nothing for your social capital, drop him

Yeah you just gotta let them be retarded.

My friend shaves the moustache part of his beard but leaves the rest because he thinks it makes him look like a UFC fighter from Dagestan or whatever. It makes him actually look like a smash retard. Have I said anything to him about this? No. If he wants my opinion I’ll tell him but otherwise I’ll just let him look retarded. It’s not my place give a shit about how he looks I guess.

>>77104272
> Its not my fault is everything else
please don't post that kind of stuff, is bad for you

>>77103840
I wish I wasn't too depressed to play video games. My backlog is stacked up. Did chest triceps and shoulders today. Would go to the gym again right now but it closes in 2 hours so eh.

>>77105144
Fuck it I'm gonna go again I can charge my phone there

>>77103840
Why does /r9k/ insist on coming here? You've already given up on life right? there's no point to any of this. Go back to containment zone please. As much as you try to hide yourself the resentment you hold oozes out of you through your word selection and it's fucking gay having to deal with your posts

>>77103840
hes probably playing TBC wow like an addict

>>77105376
this board has always been lifting r9k edition

>>77103840
whats his story or problem? is he 5'2'' and ugly or something why did he give up completely?

>>77103840
You can't force someone to change their values.

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>>77103840
>>spends all night gaming and blocks me on every app the following day
1) you look arrogant and pompous to him
2) your good deeds get shitted on

My MO: help once, nudge a second time, ignore all subsequent attempts (block the person entirely if they are unwilling to change and just want to be toxic to me)

Had plenty of fuckers ask me "how to get better/richer/fit" and then completely shit on my advice as if they know anything. Had also plenty of low self esteem low willpower people ask me how to get better and then getting motivated by me to the point of us being long lasting friends. There's also that third group that needs a bit of a nudge where I just send them a stoic tiktok video or two and then they react aggressively or nicely. Keep in my you aren't doing this for yourself so don't get personally offended. Most people don't talk to others but to themselves through others. Most people don't have actually developed theory of mind.

>>77103840
>>77106330
PS
There is a bit of arrogance there on your part though. See how hard it is to change your own bad habits, now imagine how hard it would be to change someone elses.

Help only those that deserve and directly ask for your help, not every bum on the street. You aren't a charity worker.

>>77103840
He has to want it.
I tried and bounced off many times, but if you're lucky he'll realize how important it is to look after yourself so you don't end up an immobile mess in your later years.

I believe that people like this have given up on themselves and see no hope in such endeavors. They think that they'll just painfully face their own failure and nothing good will come of it, only humiliation and regret, so they cower from it. Nagging at them will only make you appear as a nuisance and a reminder of shame and guilt. It's a difficult situation, since somehow their motivation has to be sparked and they need to learn that working out is a good thing, even for them. Perhaps what they need is someone to offer to go along with them and show them the ropes.

>>77103840
I also want to know. My gf does this to me for several years now. I think it’s easy to cut people off that you used to know in high school or whatever who never grew up but gf is different.

>>77103840
I have a few such friends that will do that shit (not gym related, but self-improvement). Let people rot in peace, really, or they will just oppose you and make you an avatar of their problem.

>>77106755
Also I tried this >>77103845 stuff for a little, but it is just a lot of ungrateful work, at least for me

>>77103840
As others have said, mind your business. You're not being a good friend. Your motivation is highly suspicious. I would block you too

>>77103840
He doesn't respect you.
I have a friend who did the opposite. I got rid of my pc and started "going outside". He proceeded to do the same. He is now into fishing, gardening and golfing. He also sold his pc. I dont know man. I think as a culture men are at that breaking point were you either sit indoors, play video games, watch bs and jerk off to porn or you go outside. I have not experienced a friend who sits inside all day. I see it in the youth but I just try and live by example.

>>77103840
I got mad at my GF for constantly pressuring me on things like this. I'm a procastinator, and I have willpower issues. However, I also knew that it wasn't a good time for me to go. Fast forward a couple of years, and now I've started exercising and nothing is going to ever stop me because I've decided to focus on integrating exercise into my schedule. I had to build up my willpower to be able to do that. I wish I had started earlier of course, but that doesn't mean I was mentally ready back then. Sometimes you gotta make the decision for yourself and no one else.

It's one thing to have an open invitation. Or be encouraging. But if encouragement turns into nagging, pestering, or even disappointment when they say "No" - then you're not gonna change their mind.

Another example is my grandmother, huge smoker for the majority of her life. Loved her grandchildren, but still smoked around them. One day she just went cold turkey, and I remember asking her if she did it for us. She said "No, I decided for myself I didn't want to do it anymore. It was my decision to make."

To put it another way: it's really hard to make myself want to do something I want to do. But it's also really hard for me to quit doing something I want to do. One day I decided I wanted to workout. Not that I wanted results or I wanted anyone to feel proud of me or that I needed to do it. I decided it because I felt it would be worth it now. So I did it.

>>77107426
>really hard to make myself want to do something I DON'T want to do.
oops fixed my typo

Some people slowly give up on life and fade away, depression and what not.

Damn, if I ever had a friend or girlfriend or family who cared about me like you do maybe I wouldnt have ended up like your friend. I’m 34

>>77103840
>how do i deal with these kind of people, do i just give up and let him die?
You're not their parent or any kind of an authority figure if they don't accept your authority. Their life, let them live it the way they want to, whether you approve or not is irrelevant. Get off your high horse, everyone has a right to be a loser.
>but it makes me feel bad that they're hurting themselves
Tough shit. Replace it with a smug sense of superiority, works for me.

>>77103840
>says it's "demotivating me that I ask him if he's been going constantly"
Is he a woman? That's the type of shit women say.

>lives with parents plays games all day and rots
You should cut off contact with all loser faggots. They add nothing to your life. Your “friend” is not even sentient.

I feel like a clown if I play video games for more than one hour

Then again I still spend too much time doing other things that are also not productive

update

he unblocked me and acts like nothing happened, started chatting with me about trying out some videogame.

he's addicted to wow btw, tall af and honestly has chad genetics but he's been addicted to wow for over 15 years now. He used to live alone and be kinda social but once the pandemic hit he went back to his parents house and now basically just plays wow all day and refuses to leave the house

He has to want it, make him want it, make it fun

>>77103840
It will never work, if he wanted to hit the gym he would have.

>>77108520
Okay so he's throwing his genetic potential away. Let him be a loser, and he'll cry about it later and you can lay into him.

>>77108520
let him act like a woman to another fag, not you

>>77107874
It's never too late anon, you're still young.