>be me>small-town hero, always lending a hand>neighbors have a rogue cow on the loose, wreaking havoc>decide to take matters into my own hands>strap on my cowboy boots and grab the lasso>neighborhoodwatch.jpg>we finally spot it in Mrs. Johnson's backyard, munching on her roses>notonmywatch.mp4>sneak up, channel my inner cowboy, and expertly swing the lasso>cow looks at me like "WTF, nigger?">rope lands perfectly around its horns>feelingsmug.exe>cow starts thrashing and pulling me around like a ragdoll>neighbors gather, some recording on their phones, others just sipping on lemonade>look like a mix of John Wayne and a rodeo clown>decide to channel my inner strength>get my body really close to the ground and start pulling with my lower back>somehow managing to actually restrain it>this thing is 450-500 lbs tops>veins popping across my entire face>abouttodie.gif>cow realizes it's dealing with a force to be reckoned with>neighbors cheer me on,hear someone say''that's a real superman right there!''>cow finally gives in, defeated and exhausted>rolls on its side since we've been chasing it around for hours>neighbors rush in, get free beer at local bar for the night>had the nastiest calf pump later on leading into next morning>mfw I just single-handedly saved the neighborhood from a rogue cow>mfw shouldnt have tried that in a small town
>lifting rice>my aunty screams "ITS 25LBS USE TWO HANDS YOU'RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF">smiles>chadface.jpg>laughs "I dont need two hands">lifts the 25lb rice with the force of a thousand suns and load it into the car>aunty mirins hard
>sperg out and embarrass myself >but don’t cry It’s the little wins
>>77106862>>get my body really close to the ground and start pulling with my lower backwhat the fuck am I reading
>>77106862>gf wants to buy a 8L water jug for parents>she needs to buy a shit ton of other things>we have a bunch of raffia bags>tell her to get two 8L jugs instead of one>i tell her to let me put the shit in the bags and tell her to just pay>autistically load the heavy stuff evenly on two bags>put the high volume low weight in other two bags>i put the two heavy bags haging from each of my shoulders>grab one water jug per hand>tell her to hang the two light bags from her shoulders>gf is impressed by my bag weight balancing skills>gf is impressed by the weight im carrying>her home is 2km away from the supermarket walking>parents in law impressed and grateful that they dont have to carry all that shit (they are get X weaklings)>gf tells her grandma>her grandma mires hardDamn it feels good to be a gangsta
This was a few years ago>driving home from gym>swing by Walmart>about to park>see large van at gas pump rolling backwards>two people desperately trying to stop it but failing>is about to roll into lane>without hesitation, pull truck into nearest spot>park, hop out, throw keys in truck bed>run towards van with arms outstretched>push it back into safety>hold it there while people set its parking brakeGood way to finish a workout i guess
