you forgot the most important part
>I gossip about it on 4chan while posting a frog
>I receieve a lot of (You)s

Your fanfics would get lore traction on /lit/

>>77150094
I wish that were true

>>77150077
I love Apu so much, bros

>go top-rope climbing with my friend
>group of teenagers also climbing
>14 year old girl makes heavy eyecontact with my groin
>I'm wearing shorts and a harness
>she gives me the hungriest fuck-me eyes I've ever seen
>she's biting her fucking lip

>I get home and fuck my wife like we've never fucked before

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>>77150264
Cunny mires are worth at least three regular mires

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Reminder that picrel is not a mire. If a woman is attracted to you, at the very least she will say "I would like to have sexual intercourse" and give you her phone number.

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>>77150077
>switch diets
>dont see gf for a week bc she went in a travel for studies (no she didnt cheat)
>go autistic at power tower the whole week to cope with loneliness and horniness
>gf comes back
>take off shirt
>gf says im thinner and more muscular
>gropes me constantly
>spanks my butt more often
>have sex with her vagina
>shes sokaing wet
>scratches me all over
>she tells me i look like a hot guy in a boyband from the 90s
I posted this one in fph
>most female coworkers are morbidly obese
>aged like shit
>new fat female coworker
>she refers to me as "the boy"
>mfw im 34yo
Antimire
>ex roider ex coworker gets into a situationship with a roastie
>gets fat and depressed
>keeps watching my pics
>he knows i stayed consistent, i got a young gf, kept the job and i get compliments daily for my progress and autistic looks maxxing
>he gets mad
>hops on roids and trains obsessively
>he now looks like a fat inflated freak
>encounter him on the streets
>he looks aged and depressed
>now makes passive agressive comments about me subtly calling me a douche and self important
>mfw i unintentionally broke a man

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She said I'm a big guy :) wgmi!

I'm 5'5"

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>>77150077
>like sabretooth
holy based

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>literally this entire thread
you're all full of shit

>>77150077
>was helping put folding tables away after a rummage sale at m church
>new tables are hollow plastic lightweight, but the old tables are two inch thick particle board with steel folding legs.
>extremely dense because whatever industrial glue it was formed with, over a hundred pounds easy.
>I ask a teenager guy who looked strong to help me carry 4 of em back inside the hall, his mom tells him to do it, she's a cute milf.
> I carry the front end, ten foot tables, with two fingers hooked on edge and lift it a foot off ground
>the young guy is struggling with both arms on the 30 yard walk, he's shaking and dropped his end a few times, I just have my one arm with forearm flexed to lift.
> after we're done I thank him and go to meet his mom, she's blushing and has her knees turned in like she's about to piss herself, shifting from foot to foot, her arms clasped in a v against her mound, pushing her full round tits together and letting them free then squeezing them 'at me.
Hey thank you for your son helping me, he a very strong young man!
She smiling "thank you for letting him help you. We need to come here more often to help me, I mean you, I mean the church!"

Girl opens with "hey cutie" and I blunder it every time. What are you even supposed to say back to that?

>>77150077
>Took my 5mg daily cialis on chest shoulder day.. >Lookin lean and vascular post gym.
>Ridin my Harley with my muscle tanktop
>Lookin every girl directly in the eyes and not breaking contact first
>Get multiple girls give me big smiles throughout the day.

feels good man

>>77151144
Trvke

>>77150077
>driving drunk going 150mph on the interstate
>hit a minivan and kill everyone inside
>cops mire my blood alcohol content
>i get taken to booking
>they take my measurements
>female CO sees my 8 inch flaccid elephant cock
>she blushes and says
>"a-anon get a holster for that thing..."
>i smile and flex a cep
>the whole intake staff claps
>get thrown into A wing
>immediately get pressed by some nortenos
>straight cholo
>"eyy whyteboi que pasa? you lookin pretty buff ese"
>i ask who runs the pod
>"it aint like that homie this is jail"
>i proceed to climb on a steel table in the rec room
>whip out my cock and start jerking off in front of everyone
>the whole pod goes silent
>one by one each inmate drops their pants
>the whole pod starts jerking off
>CO's mire through the glass
>I am Jesus Christ incarnate.

>>77151460
>(no she didnt cheat)
That you even had to say it anon...

>>77152550
>Get multiple girls give me big smiles throughout the day.
Never heard of a fear grimace?

>>77152547
>Girl opens with "hey cutie" and I blunder it every time. What are you even supposed to say back to that?
i like the way you work here. no diggity. i'd like to bag it up

>>77152547
>that'll be Mr. Pie, thank you.

>>77152455
For you...

Got stalked by a girl at an anime con over the weekend. I'm pretty sure that counts as a mire.

>>77152741
that's actually a brilliant response, thank you rizz anon

>>77153415
>anime convention
>girl

>>77153415
what were you cosplaying bro, got me curious

>>77153415
what are cons like? now that im /fit/(tter), Im considering going to one cosplaying as Judge Dredd or the Punisher or something

>>77152595
Nice post

>>77152741
>>77154072
>be me
>certified hotstuff
>see the local bridgetroll is feeling down
>figure I'll brighten his whole year
>flash him that smile I've spent 20 minutes every day of my life practicing in the mirror
>boys love that smile
>tell him, "hi cutie"
>lol, he'll remember that moment his entire life
>see the wheels grinding
>see the brow furrow, the frown deepen
>"that'll be Mr. Pie, thank you"
>holy shit, he's sweating hard after that
>feel my smile breaking
>give him a "ha ha. Ha."
>turn 180 and run
>later file a police report about an attempted sexual assault

I know this doesnt "count" as a mire but I just had the strangest experience with a massage parlor where
>walk in and a young thin 8/10 immediately asks if I want to fuck
>give her $200 for full service and 30 minutes
>she says my dick is too long
>condom blowjob then fuck her for 5 minutes max
>she uses a translate app to communicate now
>your skin is perfect
>wow your body so good so handsome
>leaves and grabs a different phone and asks me to leave my number and says message me any time its convenient
>leaves and comes back with a Starbucks drink and gives it to me saying its a gift
>spends 5 minutes hugging me and tracing her hands over my body while I try to leave

>>77155283
interesting but how was the massage?

>>77152741
lmao

cashier accused me of being an actor.

Honestly I don't know if this was a mire or a near scam, but my delusional side likes to imagine it as a mire.

>Chatting online with a 3-headed Latina
>Asks me for a face pic, send it to her
>Tells me I look hot along with those heavy breathing sweaty emojis
>Starts sending me pics of her arm over her other two heads
>She asks to see my hotdog
>Autistic inner voice kicks in, tells me it is probably a scammer collecting blackmail material
>Tell her no, that I won't do that
>She apologizes and ghosts

Heh, with the delusion glasses on, it was a nice ego boost.

>>77155441
>>Chatting online with a 3-headed Latina
What the fuck nigga thats cerberus

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>>77154094
Cons are about 50/50 male/female attendance these days. Some cons even report skewing towards female.
>>77154279
Pic related. Ultra basic cosplay; just a black and white suit with a red R pinned to the left breast pocket; my practiced posture and facial expression are what really sold the character, though.
Also carried a Pokémon plush. Bitches (and kids) love plushes.
>>77154281
High energy social environments filled with nerds. Lots of panels, games, events, and industry guests. Mostly younger attendees, about 50/50 male/female like I said. Literally all ya gotta do to make friends or pick up chicks is show up in cosplay and be willing to engage with people. If you're also attractive, even better.

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>At Target with my GF to buy her more Funko Pops for her collection
>I work 32-36 hours every week, so I can definitely afford to get her one every Friday since it makes her happy
>We're discussing which one she wants this week (either Freddy Krueger or another Cobra Kai character, she was also thinking of getting an Elvira doll/figure)
>Out of nowhere this old boomer hag steps in-between us and tries to pull my GF aside
>Tells her she's a very pretty young woman and she could do much better than me
>Says "You don't have to support his toy collecting habit" while I'm right fucking there
>GF tells her politely that she gets where she's coming from but is a big girl and can make her own decisions
>Hag leaves, we have a little laugh about wtf just happened
>GF is weirdly quiet afterwards and has been distant all week
>We had plans to go to a convention this weekend and now she's trying to flake
Is she going to fucking dump me bros? Did that old bitch just torpedo my relationship for no reason?

>>77152510
come on bro, you can come up with something better than this

>>77155722
>no reason
women do that shit to each other out of spite. if she dumps you and ends up with a fent addict she'll regret it 20 years from now (or not) unless you can reverse the damage somehow. maybe she did you a favor though- time for an upgrade? there's no shortage of flighty irrational women in this world.

>>77155283
you fell for a prostitute's aggressive marketing anon

>gave her $200 for 30 minutes of work
yeah no shit she wanted to see you again lmao

>>77152500
more like this entire site

>>77155722
>She gets where she's coming from
Not a good sign for you. Sorry bro.

>>77150264
>Top-rope
Lol, lmao even. Why arent you the one opening the route, anon?

>>77152510
My dude, those old folding tables are 3/4" hdf - heavy, but not 100lbs+. I carried one in each hand last sitting spring at church picnic.

>>77152550
>riding a Harley in a tank top
Yep, this man sucks cocks with zeal and fervour

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>>77156191
There's no problem, is there?

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Mires irl are either rare or depressing for me
>Relatives telling me I look like testosterone as a person
>People never sit next to me in public transit, I've been told I look scary

On the internet however
>Scrolling TikTok and see an edgelord celebrate the death of a fan favorite character
>Call him an ugly retard
>He points out I don't even have the balls to post myself due to my account being private
>Post a pic of myself in the comments
>Around a hundred responses of people going insane and telling the guy to pack up
Heh

>>77155722

I doubt gf genuinely believes that unless your relationship is in the shitter already or you just started dating, really she's probably mad/annoyed that you didn't tell that karen to fuck off and mind her business.

>be me
>walk in front of reflective surface
>damn who's that handsome hunk *wink*

Happens way too often

>>77156475
The only mire that truly matters.

>>77155722
you should just call her and talk about it. also she could just be embarrassed ab being an adult collecting toys

>>77152547
"sup gorgeous"
"damn already got me blushing"

then followed with some form of how are you or a compliment

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>>77155722
Time to start meeting other women, anon. This one is done.
Most women are very vapid retarded creatures that will just ruin a good relationship because someone told her that she could do better.
They cannot help it, this triggers their Hypergamy instincts and they don't have a proper conscience/soul to fight off the instinct. She literally has no choice but to follow her instincts and try to upgrade sex partners, kind of like when you wave some toy near a cat and thr cat just HAS to pounce... animal instinct which they (women/cats) ate unable to overcome.

>>77155722
Betabuxx cuck it's over for you

>>77156613
They were never built to make important decisions, which is precisely why they're indecisive or flaky. If they decided something and the man in charge decided the opposite, they had to go along with it.

People only "mire" you if you're tall and have a really sexy face, i.e. if you're chad, otherwise the only thing that getting impressive muscles does is convert you from "creepy" to "scary".

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>>77150179
He's just a little guy.

>>77150179
He’s just Ralph Wiggum in frog form.

>>77155722
Women are impressionable and care deeply about what other women think. Yes, your relationship is over.

>>77156786
No. Apu is much more emotional and filled with wonder

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>>77155722
Almost everyone else here is wrong. It's HER toy collection, not yours. When the hag confronted her thinking it was yours, your gf's response sounds like a polite deflection while not admitting she's the one getting the toy.
>>77156576 I think this guy is right. She's probably embarrassed about being called out about it, and I don't know what your convention is about, but it sounds like she's rethinking her hobbies as to not come off as childish.

>go to ups store to return a package
>wearing a well-fitting t-shirt
>2 girls working there
>probably in high school working there after school
>"hey how ya doin?"
>"h-hi"
>girl at the desk looks at my arms and quickly back to my eyes
>"just need this package shipped"
>"o-ok"
>her friend's attention turns to me
>gives me a noticeable look-over, then averts her eyes
>scans my package and does that little half-smile-half-smirk that says 'I'm gonna tease my friend about this as soon as you leave'
>counter girl gives me my receipt
>"t-thanks" she says as she looks at me dead in the eyes and squeaks out a nervous smile

absolutely adorable

>>77155722
Think about it, bro. Tha hag called her out for supposedly buying toys for her loser boyfriend without realizing that you were buying the toys for her. The hag inadvertently called her a loser.

few weeks ago
>be me, married 29 yo dyel
>dont wear a ring cus constant handwashing
>in hospital for nursing school practice rotations
>chubby roastie nurse assistant is flirty all shift long
>keeps bending over with her ass on my face, asking me to help her, keeps saying she didn't have a date for Valentine's
>she says we should hang out to smoke weed
>help her turn a 400lb fat fuck patient's sheets cus he pissed himself
>(side note: patient was a depressed, incel, 400lb 45yo, was found on the floor outside his house after 3 days of lying there lmao)
>need to place a condom catheter in the fat fuck cus he kept pissing himself
>"hey anon, reach in my pocket and get the condom out would you?" with a smirk
>reaching in her pockets, touching around
>later same shift she says "a 29 year old should already have a wife anon ;)"
>tell her i am married
> she gets visibly bummed, stops talking to me the rest of the shift, heh

>>77157022
>Tha hag called her out for supposedly buying toys for her loser boyfriend without realizing that you were buying the toys for her. The hag inadvertently called her a loser.
How women really think:
>collecting toys is just a thing i happen to do
>i could stop any time
>apparently its for losers
>my bf likes me
>he likes losers
>i have a loser bf and need to upgrade

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>>77156897
You completely ignore the fact she is flaking on the anon.

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>>77157100
That's what
>I don't know what your convention is about, but it sounds like she's rethinking her hobbies as to not come off as childish.
was referring to. She might be reframing whatever the convention is about as childish now. In reality none of us know because this goober hasn't talked to her and instead sought the advice of bots and incels.

>>77157098
This. Hence why Anon should be looking for the next girl already, because this one is already lost, and will hop on new dick in no time (assuming she isn't already as we speak).

>>77157100
>smoke license plate cover
Of course.

>>77154348
Its crazy how woman can make mens days so much brighter with mires, but they never do it.
Like flash tits? Entire year made.

>>77156283
Coworker
>hey are you anon?
Me
>yeah?
Cw
>ah thought so, I was told to look for the strong, angry looking guy.

>>77157098
100%
Just like the opposite when a girl flirts with you in front of your gf, she will get mad but her fucking horny for you because she has something the other girls want.
In your case, she has something the other girls DONT want.

>>77150077
>>Walking my kid in a stroller, other kids are with me
>>Deliver guy walks past us and says "Nice quads."

>Sitting outside elementary school office to pick up my kids for an appointment
>Random kid walks past and says "My mom thinks your buff."

>>77157574
Both were mocking you anon. "Nice quads" was said sarcastically and the kid said his mom thinks you're BUTT, not "buff".

>>77155283
Why is there always that one guy in a mire threat who brags about getting compliments from a whore

>>77155722
The hag waltzed all over you, and your girlfriend had to do the defense. Also you cant keep women hookedby giving them materialistic things, thats literally cuck reasoning

>>77157098
>>77157205
>>77157572
You guys sound like a bunch of buckbroken incels. The guy displayed massive subservient behaviour, thats whats going on. You guys probably do this too, get rejected and then make up some bullshit story in your mind to not feel bad about youself. Which backfires since you are still a bunch of bitter beta boys

One time I was walking around with long hair, still obese but at about my lowest adult weight, and there was two Asian girls walking near me, and they were giggling, and one of them made a move to approach me and her friend stopped her.
I still think about that semi-regularly.
Little Asian girl was def DTF.

>>77158102
Holy shit bro, i hope you start doing some personal development so that things can actually start happening in your life

>>77158136
I've done quite a lot of personal development, but I still rarely, if ever, get female attention.
It was only 6 years ago.

>>77158102
can confirm, I'm not trying to put you down, congrats on the weight loss, anon. but Asian girls are less picky when it comes to white men

>>77157559
My wife has so much power over my quality of life.
>Quick kiss in the morning before work, whole day made.
>Nice thank you for doing all the million things I do around the house, happy to keep it up.
>Loving smile and a hug for me, and I'll ride high for a week.
And yet, so often this is too much to ask because she's too "busy" to think about it. Lady, I'm busy too, but I crawl a mile over broken glass every day to say and do something nice for you.

And that's not even getting into the sex stuff. A blowjob that lasted long enough for me to cum would make my decade at this point, and realistically what is that, 10 minutes of effort that's 75% handjob? Hell, I haven't seen lingerie in almost 2 years, and that's just wearing different clothes for a little while.

Women, man, I swear.

>>77157574
>nice quads
Did you show the delivery guy your digits for some reason?

The kid one is awesome. You know that shit is 110% true, and that if one mom is talking about it, they all are.

>>77158089
>board always tells permavirgins to go get a hooker
>dudes who's only female attention comes from hookers
>hookers are sometimes nice
Gee, I wonder.

>>77158435
Posts like this make me sad. My wife is such a score when I here these situations. Head and sex daily, very physically affectionate. Hugging and kissing me constantly. Always telling me how great I am and how much she loves me.

Love me wife, simple as.

>>77152547
You need to learn the act of jestergooning asap broski

>>77158449
Yeah, I'm sad. Angry, too. On paper life is great - healthy family, $350k combined household income and my career is on the rise. Wife asks me sometimes what I have to be unhappy about and I'm just deer in the headlights. Just want to scream, SEX AND AFFECTION YOU DAFT NINNIE! But I'm not British so that would be weird.

She keeps saying it's just a phase of our life - all of us busy and stressed out from how busy we are. I don't see that changing until we're old, though. Guess I'll start looking at Corvettes and Corvette branded shirts I can tuck into jean shorts.

Oh shit. You know what? I don't have a Corvette, but I do have a project car, and last year she got me a shirt with the car on it.

>>77158525
in my case getting a 2009 range rover sport (pretty cheap AND reliable if you get the very last l322 engine in that series) and getting my wife to stop working made her 24/7 horny for me. maybe give that a go

>>77158435
Are you me?

>>77158435
>>77158525
Your wife is not attracted to you, because you're not the kind of husband you think you are.

>b-but I do chores around the house
That's the bare minimum bro

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>>77158525
I have to ask, are you in good shape? I always figure that dead bedrooms are because one or both people involved let themselves go and are now fat.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Otherwise, idk, give her hot cocoa or another aphrodisiac.

>>77158609
he's a /pol/tard so if I had to guess his imaginary "ballbuster wife" is probably going to turn out to be fat

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>>77158577
>Your wife is not attracted to you, because she thinks she deserves a hotter, richer, taller, bigger dicked man due to hypergamy
>literally anything you do will be the bare minimum, bro
FTFY

>>77158530
Dropping her work stress would help, for sure, but she'd fill the time with too much of something else. Honestly she's only stressed at work because she makes it stressful.

>>77158545
Yes.

>>77158577
>bare minimum
Nah. I don't want to get into it in detail, but I've gone above and beyond for our entire marriage. I do 100% of the "man" chores and probably 75% of the "woman" chores, and it's never enough. I save us 10s of 10000s every year with diy, take all the care of the kids, clean everyone's shit up every day, almost all the cooking and shopping. Man, no, I do plenty. A lot more than she does. I have to, because she spends all her time stressing herself out at work.

>>77158609
This is the last lever I have to pull. She and I are in pretty much the same shape, overweight but not hideous. I'm getting diced this summer and if that doesn't turn her on, then maybe I can catch some milf mires at the pool and at least make her insecure.

I think a lot of it is me being taken taken for granted. I'm just always here, propping her up. And the funny thing is that if you ask her, betcha she'd say I take her for granted, but I can't rely on her for anything other than the paycheck she brings into the pool.

But hey, this is supposed to be a mire thread. I bitch about my wife in enough other threads.

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>>77158101
>Everyone who says bad things about women is ~LE INCEL~
Let me guess, you're a roastie who has behaved exactly like that girl when you monkeybranched from 1 guy to another, and you don't count it as "cheating" because "in your heart" you had already checked out.
Lile pottery.

>>77158683
I am the taller, richer, bigger dicked man. I've got the 666 already:
>over 6 feet tall
>6 digit salary
>over 6" dick
Gonna round it out to the 6666 and get the hotter too:
>6 pack abs
...and if that doesn't do it (it probably won't), fucking hell.

>>77158695
See
>>77158683
I'm sorry bro, it is what it is.

>>77158695
are you the faggot who won't lick his wife's ass

>>77158695
Hopefully getting in shape and getting looks from other girls make her realize she has to put in the work too.
Good luck, anon.

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>>77158711
>tall
>rich
>endowed
>assumed not ugly (I'm guessing)
>does 100% of the male chores men are supposed to
>does 75% of house chores
But somehow if you do "just this one thing more" things will drastically improve?
We make analogies all the time about "rat race" but this is something else.

>>77158711
Just throw her over your lap and spank her m8. You're totally whipped.

>>77158724
*can't
FTFY. I think you can 50% assume it's me anytime someone bitches about their wife. She said no on multiple occasions. I'm not happy about that, and I'm going to do it anyway sometime later on down the road when the stars align. Have to let enough time elapse that I've "respected" what she said.

>>77158727
Fingers crossed.

>>77158730
No, I kind of don't expect it to change anything. But I'll be able to say I tried. Ammo for a future fight.

>>77158751
>whipped
Yup. Trying to fix that, but it's a slow process.

>I'm so busy in my life, I neglect to lick my wife's asshole, thus she shows me zero affection
>spends every spare second crying on 4channel for months

>>77158784
Hey, I wasn't going to bring buttholes into it this time until someone asked.

>>77158101
Women getting turned on when other women hit on their guy happens all the time. Most of the time even.
Youre just retarded.

>>77150077
My mum said I'm getting muscular. First comment I've received on my appearance.