I missed my chance to do 2026 how I envisioned. In prison I imagined I would get out, lose the weight, and get back to being a chad. I'm sober now and no longer having rage episodes, but I developed a food addiction from stress eating in prison. I was in some fucked up situations and I would eat as my anti-stress habit. I also got injured and I wasn't able to meditate anymore cause I was always in pain, so I would eat the pain away. I still get nightmares that I'm back in prison and I highkey start wanting to cry randomly during the day. Sometime I talk to people about prison and I have moments where I completely disappear from reality and I'm back in prison again. This one time it took like a week to come back to reality cause I re-traumatized myself telling prison stories. People don't realize it's a whole different mindset to survive in that environment. Random shit will snap me back into prison mode like some PTSD type shit. I try to breathe and remember that I'm not in danger anymore. I try to think about the ocean. The waves. The open sky. I spent so many years alone in my room just to end up in prison. It feels like I hopped in a time machine and now I'm here.
