Am drinking 750ml of prune juice to fix this (literal) shit. Wish me luck boys.
>>77244805Maybe stop taking it up the ass too
>>77244805Rectum? Damn near killed him!
>>77244805Imagine the smell
>>77244805Can you even safely shit that out?
>>77244954You'd be surprised how wide an asshole can stretch
>>77244954I like to put 2 fingers in my vagina and press the back wall. Then you make a come hither motion with your fingers and you can push it out the back door and break it up a bit
>>77244954It would be extremely painful
>>77244805Black coffee and Quest bars. If you know, you know.
OP here, finally cleared it after using a suppository laxative, but it took a while to take effect.
>>77244805That's a big poopoo.Are there any vaginas here that can tell if that's normal for a womans?
>>77244959I used to hit my ex girlfriend's gspot from her ass. She also enjoyed her ketamine so no more ghost in the pussy assblast action.
>>77244954I once too zinc pills with no water after a fast and had actual rocks blocking my asshole After some pushing and pulling, the poop above lubricated the hard poop and pushed itI've never had a more relieving poop in my life. Like an actual feeling of relief and emptiness
>>77244974Ok the cure.No food or alcohol after 7pm, no alcohol period if you can manage that. However stay drinking water or a tea. Enough that it fills your bladder so you can piss.In morning drink water. Two cups of coffee, no sugar no cream. Go for walk or go outside and stretch or swing a club or any exercise that you are twisting, lifting your legs, shifting weight, bending etc.You will have some of the best shits of the day. Also no large breakfast, ever. A snack of 4 buttered toast or fruit small.The regular meal is at noonish sometimes 2 or 3 pm. Regular dinner at 6 or 7p.
>>77244954You can just break it up into smaller chunks with your fingers.
>>77244960It's a big poo.
I had this pile of big shit like 2 weeks ago and it was relieving but now I’m back at shitting hard lumpy shit once or twice a day while eating normally. I hope I don’t have any sickness but it sucks not shitting normally
>>77244805TURDMAXXING
>>77244805sounds gay, but whenever I get constipated, I always lube up my finger with a little vaseline and smear it around the rim of my asshole, going inside a bit. The end of the stool log is usually very hard and dry and the grease lets it slide out much smoother.
>>77244960you're a big guy
>>77244805OP's condition isn't the turd in the chamber on the backside but the dilator in his front hole. >>77245076giga brain approach
Have you tried psyllium?
>>77244954I learned about the water bottle trick from some gay dude. It's supposed to be for gay sex but would probably work for general pooping too....
>>77245017I know two of them, one has perpetual gut problems. It's her nature to be kind of high cortisol, so that probably has an effect, and she also skips meals all the time, which would compound the perception that >oh no I haven't pooped in a while, better take a laxativeWhich then makes the problem worse because pooping isn't supposed to empty your entire colon as does a laxative, so there's nothing to push it forward except peristalsis, which we've established is pretty slow for her.FINALLY she eats like no fibre so she doesn't bloat up.I'd say this is a standard female experience.
I had a shit get stuck once and I never want to have to put my finger up my ass again
>>77245759lead contaminationprobably better to just eat beans
>>77246060beans give me volcanic apocalyptic world-ending shits that lasts for days. i cannot eat beans. i'm white. this must be how it feels when browns consume dairy.
Literally just eat butter. I add butter to my coffee and all hot food, gives me soft buttery shidsAnother thing that works is high-fat coconut cream, drink a glass of it and your asshole will burst into treats an hour later
>>77244957I frequent /gif/. I have no surprises left.
>>77244954Not for a Jedi.
>>77244805walk, drink tons of water, take care of your gut microbiome. This is the foundation. Kefir and certain probiotics can be incredible.turmeric has been amazing to me to shit. boosts bile production and secretion to help with digestion. And I know it's from the tumeric because my shits have a much better color when im taking it (because of the bile)
>>77244805Dude go carnivore, if the issue is too much shit then eat a diet that minimizes the shit you produce
>>77244959Truly fascinating creatures.
>>77244805Just go the pharmacy, buy a bottle of magnesium citrate, down half the bottle (whole bottle if its super bad), and drink plenty of powerade. Dont leave the area near your bathroom for a few hours after.This is the non gay homeopath solution
>>77244805coca cola enemashttps://www.researchgate.net/publication/353724847_Colonoscopic_Instillation_of_Coca-Cola_for_Evacuation_of_Large_Fecaloma_A_Report_of_Two_Cases_and_Review_of_Literature
>>77247609>Attempts at evacuating stool with digital evacuation, sodium phosphate enema, and oral polyethylene glycol were unsuccessful. At colonoscopy, two sittings of instillation of 990 mL of Coca-Cola Light each were done into sigmoid colon over 2 days, resulting in clearance.
>>77247609that seems like a great way to get the worst infection of your life
What kind of garbage are you guys eating for this to be an issue?
>>77247642
>>77244805Epsom salt and aloe vera juice.Make sure you have nothing to do for at least an hour.
>>77244805Hehe. Poopoo bambam pusspuss.
>>77244805depending on your situation, you might want to consider medicine.like if you havent shit in over 5 days, i would recommend taking polyethylene glycol.this will draw moisture back into your shit to prevent it from drying out and worsening your situation. however, if you truly think its impacted like your pic, you should attempt to break it up with an enema kit
>>77246770I'm fine eating beans, dairy, seafood and anything.I am just a superior white I guess.
>>77244960For you.
