>be me, distinguished prompt engineer at X-Tesla-SpaceX Consolidated Code Fulfilment Center #4721>wake up in my sleeping pod at 4:30am>neuralink alarm goes off directly in my brain>can't snooze it because that's a -50 productivity score penalty>shuffle to the communal coding trough>just one continuous counter, 2000 devs standing shoulder to shoulder>shove my way between two other engineers and onto one of the desk treadmills>have to maintain 3mph to keep my dev machine powered>manager is a weaponized Boston Dynamics dog bot with an AI trained exclusively on Elon's tweets>manager barks: "needs more velocity">treadmill speed requirement increases to 4mph>lunch break: mandatory Mountain Dew VibeCode Red IV drip>it's just regular Mountain Dew with dissolved Adderall and ketamine>overhear two juniors discussing "remote work">they get immediately reassigned to Boring Company Tunnel Maintenance>we never see them again but sometimes hear scratching from below>legs are cramping but if I stop jogging I lose my commit privileges>try to take bathroom break>toilet won't unlock until sufficient work is completed>AI generated code rejected by AI code reviewer: "not scalable enough">piss myself because my piss bottle is already full>it's the third time this week>productivity score increases because I didn't leave my station>try to push code>need approval from 47 stakeholders>35 of them are AIs that hate each other>finally ship feature at 4am>customer is another AI>finally head to the wellness center for my 5 minute break>the wellness center is a server closet with a printed photo of a tree>thankful for all the perks I get as an engineer>use my neuralink to check on my Dogecoin equity>rugpulled by Elon's AI ghost again
>>106489240>>the wellness center is a server closet with a printed photo of a treecomfy
