>be me >director of IT at Catholic high school >atheist btw >tips fedora >need to hire help desk guy >entry-level >job is literally "fix printers and explain to boomers how to turn on the computer" >interviewing all week >last candidate of the day is zoomer >19 maybe 20 >walks in with mom >mom dressed for church social >kid looks like he rolled out of bed, wearing Walmart George tier shirt and tie, wrinkled as hell >ask about experience >shrugs, mumbles about building gaming PC >mom immediately interrupts >"he's very talented with computers! builds them all the time for his friends!" >ask about certs >mention CompTIA A+ or Network+ >blank stare >"what's that?" >mom: "he's a natural, doesn't need those silly pieces of paper!" >ask about college degree >he says "gap year to find myself" >mom: "free spirit! not meant to be tied down to a classroom!" >I'm sitting there slowly losing my mind >she is literally answering every question for him >kid fidgeting, won't make eye contact >then she leans in, shoves kid out the door >whispers at me >"Is there a Mrs. B? Mr. B?" >wtf.jpg >it's literally a line from Forrest Gump >she continues >"I can do things for you. Things a wife can't." >she wants to trade sex for her autistic son getting hired >brain.exe has stopped working >politely tell them position is filled >walk them out >mfw
>>106520266kek, this is the best thing i've read on /g/ in a while
>>106520266Give him a chance.
>>106520266You missed out. Desperate single mom sex isn't exactly good but it sure leaves an impression.
>>106520283This, imagine the greentexts you'll be able to post on a daily basis. Also, was the MILF hot?
>>106520266lmao
>>106520266
>>106520266You know maybe my situation isn't that bad.
>>106520266>"I can do things for you. Things a wife can't."
>>106520266>be me>mega corp code monkey>manager took a liking to me cuz I could bullshit my way through anything>puts me on interviewing board>literally am in direct control of who gets hired>don't know what to interview so I wing it from interviewer to interviewer>ask general knowledge CS shit>if I don't like the fucker I start grilling them on every small detail>remote interviewing>poojeet no. 14 comes around>there's a certain gap of time between him "thinking" and answering the question directly>>he's literally googling answers as I ask him>on harder questions he starts turning his light off and complain about power going out>ask him directly if he's googling questions during the interview>he starts sweating profusely, "no">starts begging to get hiredjesus h christ that was cringe
>>106520266This didn't happen, but it was mildly entertaining.Cheers, OP.
>>106520612Yeah bro, you caught me — the Catholic school mom seduction-industrial complex isn’t real. Totally made up.
>Mr. B?This chick thought it was a 50/50 that op loved cock.
Cut her some slack man she just wants an autistic son-less friday afternoon. She was prepared to suck you off for it.
>>106520694in this like of work its 80%
>>106520663>—AI dash.
>>106520266>director of IT at Catholic highWhat's your salary?
>>106520266>it came to me in a dreamand OP is the autistic son themselves
Gay
>Things that never happenedI hope
>>106520266>turns down depraved sex what a faggot you are
when reading this I have no idea why I envisioned the mother of this dude looking like Beth Grant, in which case I can see why he would not want to bone some dude's mom.
>>106520266>>politely tell them position is filledwhat really happened:>OP shit bricks because perma-virgin
>>106520266Shoulda fucked the broad then said "we'll let him know"
>>106520916>>106520995How do you know if the mom was even hot? OP didn't say.
>>106521045Coitus is coitus.
>>106520266>>kid looks like he rolled out of bed, wearing Walmart George tier shirt and tie, wrinkled as hellLiterally me every morning. Zoomers are not morning people, deal with it
>>106520759It's called an em dash and the more likely explanation is that he's itoddler posting
>>106521128>Coitus is coitus.Lol
>>106521183I remain unwavering in my conviction.
>>106520367What can’t a wife do? WHAT CAN’T A WIFE DO??
>>106520266>Walmart Georgeholy fuck Americans have Asda George shit too? Fucking kek
>>106522332Asda is British Walmart they even have the mobility scooters
>>106520266Nice fake story. If it was real, I just know the pay range would be $15-$20/hr. Take it or leave it kek
>>106520319protective moms are always hot
>>106521180phoneposters are worse than ai
So zoomers really do this? It wasn't a fake news story?
>>106522534ResumeTemplates.com is known for its rigorous polling methodology and statistical analysis
>>106522534I am simply not willing to believe this. YouTube comment scammers have in the past year or so been putting completely absurd amounts of money in their pastas, like $150k/mo. If it was 5k or even 10k maybe someone could fall for it but nobody could fall for 150k. Similarly nobody could ever believe 73% have their parents help complete work assignments. I don't think It's even physically possible for that to happen in 73% of jobs. He should have said 8-10% or so.
>>106520266You are such a fucking virgin.
>>106522830>fucking virginThat's an oxymoron
>>106522534Why is it the mom and not the dad? Fathers are the ones who are supposed to be the role models, especially when it comes to things like work ethic.
>>106522924fathers aren't around for the most parteven if dad wants to stick around, the divorce rate is 50%+, and though joint custody is common, women often end up dominating the children and keeping them from their father as much as they can get away with without prompting court action
>>106520266why would you ask a candidate's mom to come into the interview with them? wtf
>>106523479Retard. She came on her own accord.Most probably to strike this transactional deal with OP.
>>106523532>She came on her own accord.we don't care what kind of car she drives, the question is why OP invited her
>>106523532anon, people can't just walk into your office like they own the place. if she was in the interview it's because OP allowed her to be in the interview.
>>106520266>>be me>invent an overly long story >make sure I target the demographic I hate>make sure I add in popular wiping boys>post on 4chan>...>Profit!
>>106520266You left out the most important part. Was the mom hot?
>>106520266I believe youthis fits in perfectly to my theoryshe definitely raped the kidand the kid turned out autisticautism is caused through being molested by your mother (or females) just like faggotry from being molested by your father (or males)
>>106523611kek
>>106521275>What can’t a wife do? WHAT CAN’T A WIFE DO??>t.
How hard can it be to work IT in a high school? Just fuck the mom and teach the kid how to do the job
