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Tips on how to survive our work christmas party. NOW

>>107350731
i put my vacation start on that day ez

>>107350731
Well personally I'm simply not going. It involves waking up early to travel to another city, do some stupid team building activities, dinner and going to a club later and I despise everything about it.
When it was in the city where the main office is based, and where I lived, I always went.

>>107350731
The benefits of working for a foreign company.

If they want me to fly over there for Christmas, I'm gonna slice my wrists open.

>management weaseling out of giving me a promotion this quarter, saying it will be next promotion cycle
What can I realistically do guys?
It's fucking over isn't it? Time to start looking around?

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>Utility bill going up 15% due to green energy production expansion
Holy shit its over.

>>107350731
I'm planning to get blackout drunk and reveal my innermost secrets.
Namely how I've been incarcerated twice in the asylum and used to be a hobbo junky.

I'm tired of hiding from these faggots and pretending I'm anything like them.

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>>107350877
I dropped out of high school half way through 10th grade, got my masters degree and went to work. Only to then find out that the stupid people and stupid high school bullshit followed me to the workplace.

>>107350861
I just give myself a raise every year simply working even less.

>>107350915
we need an update for this image, except now she's a 5'0 dalit ass jeeta working at tim hortons

>>107350939
That would be my current plan. If they actually go through with not giving me a promotion, I'll reduce my work to the bare minimum (basically lowest point possible where nobody would notice) and start looking for a new job

I'm doing it
I'm writing a screenplay for a TV series. Gonna finish it before Christmas, sell it to netflix or whatever, and get the fuck out of this tech work hellscape as soon as possible

>>107350985
Good luck the Movie/TV industry is going through a major crunch right now. The streaming sites are going to start dropping off like flies.

>>107350995
I have a backup plan. I'm learning to produce music too.

>>107350980
Speaking of promotions, why are corpos so retarded when it comes to this?
It's OBJECTIVELY cheaper to keep your talented workforce tied down by giving them promotions from time to time. Instead they act all surprised when the person leave, only to hire a less competent replacement with a HIGHER salary like a fox with sour grapes

I'm actually going to write a novel next year.
If that fails I'll move to the countryside and open a general goods slash fishing store.
If that also fails I guess hanging myself from a tree is better than using my belt in the bathroom.

>>107350915
What's sad is that I was really cool in high-school

I was both the best student in everything and got to hang out with the cool kids and drink and smoke weed and shit and was decent athletically and good looking.

But I blew it all away and now those that were way beneath me in high-school in every way, are lording over me.

One more day
two less white coworkers
two more jeet coworkers

>>107351074
You only have yourself to blame anon. I was milk toast but had a good amount of friends at least up until i dropped out. I just hated the school environment. I hated more so having dreams that i was going back to high school to finish my diploma despite having a bachelors and working on a masters degree.

>>107351064
Suicide by hanging is a very painful death.

>>107351150
I wanna go out with a mastrubation machine.

>>107350731
Convert to Christianity

>>107351150
If you do it properly it's an instakill via snapped neck

>>107351290
cringe af

>>107351290
Excuse me waiter, can I get an XML version of the menu?

>>107351103
>You only have yourself to blame anon.
I don't blame anyone.
It was my choice.
I wanted to see the "dark side" of life.
Turns out it's dark. Lol.

>>107351290
I prefer assembly and papyrus

>>107351150
full suspension, maybe, but partial suspension is basically a blood choke (i.e. you can breathe just fine) and thus is painless. drop is instantaneous from the right height

>>107351443
They haven't checked but even instantaneous death is more like 5 mins after the fact since the organs and brain still has a delay in death. What matters is that you won't even feel it if its full suspension. Organ donation is such as small window that they just use live bodies most of the time. Chinks out in china have mobile death vans for that purpose. They haven't taken people out back and shot them for decades at this point. I remember the old videos on live leak they barely even bothered to give them a trial most of the time and just shot em on the street.

>>107351483
a snapped spinal cord knocks anyone out
>full susp
windpipe gets constricted. that hurts. partial is painless. see any demonstration of blood chokes.

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>>107351540
Good points anon. Thanks for the clarification.

>>107351540
to clarify, there are 3 ways: drop, full susp, partial susp. no more on the topic

>>107351563
What about a backflip with a bungee cord off a mountain?

>>107351290
You know all those people are posers just by that image.

>>107351150
people who want to kill themselves painlessly are massive faggots

ok yeah you decided to be a little emo bitch and kys
at least do it painfully to go out like a man

>>107351869
Just do it old school. Alcoholism it takes about 5-10 years to get to that point but hey at least you can enjoy some drinks.

>>107351884
when I really wanted to kill myself I did heroin
cause why the hell not I had nothing to lose

it literally saved my life
was the best experience I ever had, felt like Buddha attaining Nirvana or some shit
it turned me into a junkie of course
but an ALIVE junky

can't wait for my salary to be even higher in a few years when upper level management realizes they over-bet on AI and the years we've spent not hiring juniors results in an even worse shortage of seniors

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>>107351982

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work tomorrow.

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>>107352283
I work tonight

>>107350849
if they're paying for it, why not? free tourism.

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>>107352283
Work and I have to go to the office

>>107350731
The last time we all got hammered and started hailing the marketing guy while doing that fake mustache thing with our fingers.

I mean I'm pretty anti social at work but some of you guys seem to HATE any type of interaction or playful shit at all. I get things get "CORPO" fake but sometimes I see some stuff in here that's probably some dumb office fun and you guys are ragging on it like the guy is making you guys do the surfing bird dance before your walmart shift.

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>>107352640

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>>107351290
>>107351855
Story time
> Be software dev. undergrad during the first 2 seasons of the big bang theory
> Yes, I am that old and miserable
> TA makes a joke about the show, half of the class chuckles and falls in love with the guy
> Realize I am surrounded by normies. Will to dropout intensifies
> A year or two later come to the shocking conclusion that my "STEM" program is really just a glorified pre-MBA program. The actual STEM program across the street is 10x harder than this shit
> Eventually become a middle manager. My only joy in life is coming to 4chan and mocking other middle managers.

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>>107352073
>mfw working with early 2000s systems that have never once been connected to the wider internet but people keep asking me if i can hook them up with a job because they're an "aspiring prompt engineer" and want to "use AI and cloud tech to modernize the stack"

>>107351074
That is the trope of every high schooler of your type.

Have you guys ever realized that this general is so corny? Woe is me

>>107353678
If you aren't making at least 500k per minute you are a poorfag and are NGMI it

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>>107350861
Promote yourself with another job. That's the only 100% surefire way to get a raise. Last time I did that I got a 45% salary increase. Most people in corporations are lucky to get a 3-4% merit increase year over year, and if you belly ache they call you ungrateful and tell you that that's 40% over ten years. Waiting on management to recognize your usefulness is a waste of time because most managers would be perfectly content watching you work 18 hour shifts if they could swing it, and if you quit they just find another lackey. The only option you control is your own side of the employment contract.

>>107350877
I'd support it. Nothing is more entertaining than going to an xmas party and watching the composure of the executives and upper management crack when their jaded, 25+ year sysadmin starts up because they want to discipline him, but they know if he leaves, they're fucked.

>>107350939
Personally, I just automate everything and then pad the work. Oh, geez Mr. Manager, that will take two weeks (it takes two hours tops). I got called out for it last week. Not my fault my manager and my coworkers were to much of pussies to pad thier work.

>>107352313
The investment and finbros apparently were trading today where I worked. Fucking psychos, get a fucking life. Another reminder of how much of a rotten, braindead corpse modern society is.

Stop having casual sex. It's bad for your health.

>>107352327
I hate travel.

Resigned today and left an hour early

>>107352859
Nice thumbnail dickhead

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>get home from thanksgiving with my family, 9 pm
>tired
>go to bed
>hispanic neighbors with 9 cars parked in their driveway are blasting their stupid "reggaeton"
>it's been 3 hours and they're still at it

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goodnight /twg/

>>107354471
Technology?

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I will never have this
thanks, jews

>>107350849
They are flying me half across europe for a fucking dinner. Companies do be like that

how do you know if you're safe? is this the eternal question?

>>107354471
I've slept with these every night for 10+ years, such that I wonder if I could even fall asleep without earplugs.
https://www.amazon.com/Honeywell-Visibility-Disposable-Earplugs-200-Pairs/dp/B0007XJOLG

>>107355118
Meanwhile we have to beg to fly for the PI planning

>>107355229
safe from what

>out of work for months
>time to go back
Yeah they're gonna fire me lol.

>>107350731
Why are you guys so averse to making friends with other autists
I would love to work in IT and be surrounded by spergy weirdos

>>107355935
You think they only have programmers at company parties?

>>107355979
Yeah most parties usually split up in a few groups, mostly based on the department. The sales and marketing people are in general much more extroverted while for engineering half awkwardly talks or stands around and the other half is more extroverted

>>107350915
I wish tall women were real

>>107355935
>>I would love to work in IT and be surrounded by spergy weirdos
>sit around awkwardly
>people only care about not being seen standing alone, they'll ditch you for another group and don't give a shit about you

How hard are the interviews for these random consultancy C++ jobs in Europe? I've been stuck in embedded automotive hell using mostly C, but I could just lie on the CV

>>107350731
I am /fit/ and I am going dressed up as Rambo. I will get drunk and point finger guns at all the gooks in the company.

>>107356339
Why is that hell and what makes you think somewhere else will be different?

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>work for an MSP
>once a while do something interesting/engaging but otherwise job is mostly putting out fires in stressful situations and dealing with stupid shit
>have to fill out timesheets
Fuck my worthless nigger life.

>>107356452
Barely any actual programming, zero possibly of remote

How many of you work remotely? What do you do?

>>107356796
>How many of you work remotely?
Yes.

>What do you do?
I guess it's webshit.

>>107356823
Didn't most of you get sent back to the office?

>>107350731
The last Christmas party I was invited to I couldn't get a rid over, so I just didn't go lol

It's funny and infuriating how "developers with 15 years of experience" can write systems using modern applcations but introduce bugs/errors which shouldn't even be possible anymore

>>107356796
I work for my state government programming various state websites. Not truly remote but hybrid with 1 day in the office every 2 weeks.

>>107356987
How hard was it to get this job?

>>107356999
I interned for them part time during college for poverty wages, that's how I got in. The college did count this as course credit though. The interview process was 1 meeting with a supervisor, no coding test whatsoever. I had already done web dev for them as an intern though.

my CEO is vibe coding a massive heap of shit into our laps to "prove" what he can achieve with AI
it's a giant amount of code waiting to explode
dude has lost his mind

>>107356874
The headquarters are like 960 km away as the crow flies with a sea between, so no. I wouldn't have taken the position in the first place had they required going to the office.

>>107350731
I used to feel awkward just standing around saying nothing but at this point I don't
Of course I only show up if its during work hours which means I get away from work

Hey ITfags, if I go on youtube at work, do you see the full url of what I'm watching?
Just wondering because I spend all my day listening to music albums on youtube but some have very weird titles

>>107351290
>it's another episode of "tech lead thinks everyone knows what he does and leaves extremely vague description and acceptance criteria for a bunch of Jira issues while he goes on PTO until next week
It's all so tiresome.

I don't know how long it's gonna take before someone from upper management realizes I've been doing next to nothing for weeks.

>>107355935
>>107356041
not for ours. Only a small subset of technical people are in the bigger business core group and even most of our technical group is literally half businessfags.

I hate businessfags so much man....

>>107357496
do you not own a phone

>>107357496
>Hey ITfags, if I go on youtube at work, do you see the full url of what I'm watching?
Depends. Do you have worker monitoring software installed on your work computer?

>>107358063
What is this some late april fools joke?

>>107358063
That's just waste the battery life of my phone + it's easier to browse videos and manage my playlist on a 'puter
>>107358068
There's TeamViewer but that's all I know, they need my permission to connect to my pc no?
Let's hope the German IT doesn't care that I listen to song about The Call of Aryan Spirit and others

>>107358227
>there's teamviewer
Lmao it's fucking over

I do not enjoy writing bat files!!!

>>107358227
If they have a monitoring tool installed on your system, they can see pretty much everything you do.

If they have a root certificate installed on your system, they can decrypt your HTTPS traffic and see exactly what you're browsing.

Could be that there's also other solutions than monitoring software or root certs. I don't work with employee monitoring, so I don't really know.

If they don't have anything like that installed, they can only see that you're connecting to YouTube and transferring data, but they can't see that you're sending a "GET /watch?v=IrwXSfcJmnU" request to them – that part is as encrypted as the response to it.

>>107358227
>That's just waste the battery life of my phone + it's easier to browse videos and manage my playlist on a 'puter
.....what type of fucking phone do you have?

>German
oh of fucking course youre a weird eurocuck

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>Got injured at the gym. (Leg muscle pulled during squats)
>WFH and parents are having a moment.
>dealing with a high stress situation at work.
i feel like I'm going to snap. I'm 2 seconds away from just closing everything and going to sleep. It's fucking annoying since I want to leave the house but I can't because of course I injure my fucking leg of all things.

you guys got any good meditation techniques or shit?

>>107358499
>>WFH and parents are having a moment.
When we're talking about WFH, we're don't mean your childhood home, anon.

>>107358509
it's a good strategy for youngsters to build some bank.

>>107358509
Alright then, weird thing to focus on. But I'm visiting for the christmas month before going back to my apartment.

>>107358509
nta but damn you just did a reddit post lol. you go on there? what next you're going to talk about bacon???? ahahahahahaha

>>107350731
a responsible amount of research chemicals

>>107358356
>>107358420
Is there a way to know if they monitor me? Last time I used teamviewer I had to accept it so they could log on my session
I don't mind them seeing what I do, except that when I'm working from home I don't do anything and just open notepad and put something on my spacebar so the pc stays on and I'm still green in Teams
>>107358464
>what type of fucking phone do you have?
iTurd but I plug my earphones on my laptop so I can listen to music and take Teams calls if someone calls me
Not German but I'm French, our IT team is based in Germany

Is every MBA starting to code now?
They're all producing the apps they always wanted to make at my company.
Now that anyone can code the MBAs can realize their dreams.

>>107358531
>lives at home

>>107358642
how do you like your bacon??? you love narwhales???

>>107358531
>>107358696
No post is more Reddit than these two.

>>107358792
reddit post

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>>107350684
Does anyone know how to get a job in the chip manufacturing industry?
I recently saw a story on the new Texas Instrument plants being built and it gave me a boner I can't get rid of.
Please save me from a life of an HVAC technician.

>>107359198
Do you know how to make le chips ?

>>107350731
get drunk and flirt with all the cuties
needless to say i take care of my appearance and try to be /fa/

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>>107357496
>>107358227
>>107358420

Most of the time it's not even particularly difficult, we do ours at the firewall level and they can see what's going in and out, so only moderate technological wizardry is required. If you are going to listen to oddball shit just do it on your own phone, but even then, I'd be cautious. You never know when the audio will be accidentally pushed out on speaker or over a teams call. I just listen to ambient/drone/soundscape shit on YouTube.

>>107358399
Nobody does. Use AI for that shit. Gemini works great. ChatGPT is great. Why is this hard for people?

>>107358570
You're going down a very, very stupid path anon. The only way to know is going to be to ask, or to research your company's IT structure, both of which will raise eyebrows and put a target on you when it's investigation time. Better to just assume they can magically monitor you on IT equipment. Why is that so hard to accept that you have no expectation of privacy on equipment that you do not own and that you did not purchase?

>Is there a way to know if they monitor me? Last time I used teamviewer I had to accept it so they could log on my session

I have software on our backend of our Virtual Desktop Infra that would let me monitor you without consent. I have agents installed on our images that would let me remotely install software. I can throttle processes or kill processes without your consent. Any competent IT department has that toolset. The remote connection consent window is an illusion of control.

>>107359671
>we do ours at the firewall level and they can see what's going in and out, so only moderate technological wizardry is required
Still requires something on the machines, otherwise you're not cracking that encryption and seeing the actual traffic.

>>107359418
uhhhhh, no

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I just sent my first invoice to my first customer, ~15k in total. Feels good man.

>>107359671
If they actually monitor me without my consent it's illegal there, as the company policy doesn't mention any of this
My manager is in HR and Finance and sees me going on youtube to listen to music, if she doesn't care then I'm fine I guess, she would've told me otherwise

why are french people so weird?

>>107359947
Language shapes culture and the French language is weird.

>we are finally going to start building the new version of the app from scratch
Pretty sure they're going to fire me soon. I was valuable in the old website but I guess the can just hire someone that isn't an absolute sperg.

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>>107359947
constant political upheaval, very odd cartoons, catholicism, the invention of the Sidechain Compressor

>>107359671
i think the consent window is more so you can save and close your work and otherwise finish stuff up before someone literally takes control of your cursor and keystrokes

>>107360100
as romance languages go french is actually pretty simple.

>>107357496
depends on whether they rape your privacy or not
if they have their own certs installed, they can MitM everything

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>Had a sweet project with Meta going for years
>New manager brought on for some reason six months ago despite things going well
>Hispanic woman, barely speaks English, obsessed with AI integration everywhere
>Wants all code explained, doesn't understand explanations
>AI usage quotas
>We have to help build AI tools that will get rid of some of the best team members' jobs
>Any AI skepticism from me makes me not a team player

>>107360745
so? complain to her boss

>>107352859
Eat shit middle nigger.

>>107360768
That's not how it works. If she was a manager from my company yeah, but she's on the Meta side and can just drop our contract if I don't handle it correctly

>>107351047
They're just fucking retards. I don't even expect promotions because I'm not going to stay long enough.

>>107350731
Don't go? You're an adult, are you not?

>>107355935
I hate people.

honestly i hope people who just type "hello anon" and then take fucking like 10-20 minutes to type out a question that should've been an email

>>107361160
...have nice happy lives

bros will something happen with h1bs or is this another nothingburger?

gonna go insane, nothing gives me joy anymore
maybe i really am supposed to be gooning?

>>107361272
I try to exercise too.

>>107361272
>start running
>get fit (or at least thin)
>join running group with cuties
>???
>profit
shrimple as

>>107350684
So when did you guys realize software and coding skills are now a commodity and H1Bs are being used to force people out of tech into other job markets?

Without my lead around, I can't figure out how to fix this defect. Is it over for me?

>>107361593
That's what Elon and all the tech oligarchs want, and the system is working as expected

Didn't really get the jeet hate, but now that we've got them doing our tier 1.....holy fuck I'm actually starting to get livid.
>Ticket makes no sense and it's in the same vein as "does not work".
>They seem to just escalate to entire fucking teams and executives for even minor issues.
>They seem to LOVE communicating via Teams instead of just sending an email and when they do communicate it's to the same level as "please do the needful" again without ANY fucking information.

>>107362197
no no no sir
no info necessary you can proceed the needful
or i will report you

>>107350866
are those khazar milkers?!?!

tgif am i right fellas

>>107351290
>options array becomes a string whenever there's only one option
awful

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>3 YOE hell

>>107352640
These types of people who complain about inane office shit are the most insufferable. No one is asking you to act like a hyper social ubernormie but at least act your part as a functioning cog in the system.

Big corporate 9-5 will cause you to lose your individualism after awhile.

>>107350684
How do you techanons keep in touch with the industry nowadays?
I have a decade of experience and for the past 3 years I have been overemployed, but I feel like I am losing touch with "the current thing" in tech
I felt like a retard when a colleague mentioned something about "Opus" being available and I didn't know it was a Claude version
Frameworks, code editors, stacks, LLMs... I feel like info about this shit doesn't reach me anymore other than through fireship

>>107362769
daily.dev extension
youtubers
some tech news sites

Can't be bothered with books except for fundamentals.

>>107362463
I'm not having a good friday because WOMEN thanks for reading myblog

>>107357496
Any decent sized organization will be able to see the inflow/outflow of URLs on their networks and tie it back to a work station.

If they have an active IT desk they'll be filtering for urls like childtoucher.com, using premade black lists, and software to alert when someone does something stupid on their machines.

>>107359727
Then go browse the manufacture web site and see what is open. Look on job portals to see if any contract companies are in the same area trying to recruit people.

Go to school and become nerd if you want to learn to fab.

>>107362197
jeets love making a scene out of every little thing
It makes them look busy and important while doing fuck all
management and humanities retards don't know better

>>107360862
In a shit situation but all you can do is document any and all interactions. Maybe have exit plan if your company is back stabbing and won't back you up.

>>107362784
>books
basically obsolete in 2025, nobody has time for that
>some tech news sites
Which sites? I'm looking to build a nice RSS collection

>no wfh
>only on $84k a year at 3 yoe
i really fucked up doing EE

>>107362709
caging animals is inhuman
this poor fucking chimp

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>>107359671
I just assume most people are fellow Americans on 4chan. Been that way in my head since I was a precocious scamp in the 90s.

>>107361216
If you honestly think that the United States government, which is effectively sponsored by corporations, is going to abandon H1b out of the blue, without an authoritarian change of government (Trump is not that by any measure, despite what libs think) and regime change, it aint happening.

>>107362197
Let me guess...you haven't really worked closely with a lot of Indian folks? I encourage you to read the KiwiFarms piece on izzat that's circling around 4chan and reddit and twitter right now. It explains a LOT of what they are like as a cultural average. I've met some second and third gens that are perfectly assimilated though.

>>107354507
nta but mass importing third worlders that want to make the world a noisy, unpleasant, dirty shithole is peak technology.

>>107363024
you can move into embedded or fpga's buddy

>>107363959
everyone is "assimilated" until the fiat crashes
then real tribalism begin

>have to sacrifice the blood of my firstborn to get a job
>end up being one of the team's best employees
>seniors eventually leave and we hire new people
>literal dropped as a child morons
how the fuck does this keep happening? why is it so fucking hard for me to get a job but as soon as someone new comes in they're fucking moronic lazy asswipes that don't want to do shit.

>>107363959
most of the indian people i worked with were hella cool, but tbf I remember my indian coworkers in my first job, we didn't really have much crossover tasks at work but they sure knew how to make work fun. miss those guys. the ones I directly work with are pretty smart and dope too but jesus christ the outsourced ones make me actually drive my nutsacks.

>>107363993
embedded is jeet town
>fpga
30 years of experience minimum required

>>107364009
this. indians are so cool. total bro tier. wish they'd bring over more of them. so fun and vibrant. based black mans

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>>107350915
>everything "canadian" in the image is actually just quebecois
FLQ Renaissance When

>>107354471

I feel you. Get drunk and try to sleep. Goon a little if you want. God knows you earned it.

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>dad texted me to say that I am literally the only known person of my (last)name that has a job
I thought it was oh so easy. Surely getting a job is as easy as stealing candy from heavily armed adults.

>>107353567
hello dod-anon

>>107364777
witnessed

>>107362405
Yes and its based anon.

Just posting in here because i get very frustrated having to be a wagie but i have to remind myself that i have a lot to be grateful for and tons of people would swap their lives with mine instantly if they could. remember to be thankful anons, im thankful God blessed me with my life

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>>107350866
>utility bill went up 300% because of a "cybersecurity attack" and found by independent hackers (people with direct access to meters) that the meter-readers no longer exist and the power company, when calculating your bill, literally just made it the fuck up
unironically radicalizing. I can get mad about stuff and do it to dissipate salt, but Certain People need a fucking OG-7V through their window and I regret not buying illegal handmade revolvers and modified PS90s when the going was good.

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retaking my soul back from the astral plane after doing battle with network architects and database administrators to put it back in my body so i can conduct conventional physical assaults

>>107364849
i work for the power company
i can confirm that we sit around laughing at your bill and just make the numbers up before clicking send

>>107364915
How do you feel about people firing rockets at your house?

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teeing up with my local biker squadrons to see if they need an IT guy and will trade free on-call out-of-hours IT support for an occasional MLRS strike (I know for a fact that at least certain clubs have access to man-portable rocket launchers, and some others have truck-mounted units, and at least one has AA missiles)

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On a different end of insanity, part of my checks for the day when I do stuff at my supposed job involves doing stuff with towed array sonar acoustics. I don't know what the fuck any of it means, I can't read a waterfall diagram let alone listen to it. But I am interested in learning about it. Would it be weird to ask someone somewhere if I can do a basic course on it? Are there open resources for sonar work? It's like, yeah, the headphones work, and presumably nothing has changed about the simulation, I just want to know how it all works for fun. How to know that some imaginary object has intentionally brought the noise

>>107364920
>pranjeep, come look at this
>what is it?
>look
>*clicks up arrow on your bill price*
>lol do more
>clicks more
>hahaha more more more
>clicks more
>hahahahahhahahahahha
>our bonus will be so good. this retarded cuck won't know what hit him
>click send

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>>107365015
The reality is in fact probably just as jeeted but a lot dumber on the engineering end, but explicitly so because of actively malicious decisions on which numbers to actually record after they fall out of a sensor.

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I questioned how I managed to get a job, but really, if I'm here all drunked up like "I really wish I had a complete understanding of what this system is even trying to do" and in all my incompetence and lack of training or education and just overt laziness; if with all that I was the best candidate, I wonder what the hell is going on in the job market. I, of all people, cannot be a generally good candidate. There is no way that with the glut of people in the field, that I would be even worth interviewing.

...You guys worked today? Your company didn't give you Friday off...?
lol

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Should I just embrace insanity at work?

There's still a lot of stuff I don't know in general, and a lot of stuff that is system-specific; but I've caught myself being in a little impromptu training session snapping when something is explained to me and I just go "YEAH; I KNOW; but what about this thing that the thing touches/controls/etc..."

I'm a retard and a poorly trained one, and it makes me anxious that I don't know what I can go "I have no fucking clue what you're talking about." without seeming like they hired something less than a jeet, or admit "Yeah, I've seen this one before in [weird thing]!" without looking weirder than [weird thing].

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Shut the fuck up furrfaggot.

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No. A fundamental aspect of crewed vehicle combat is that to do it properly, everyone is screaming so loudly that even God knows where you are. Radio silence is golden, but one cannot act usefully alone. Even if they don't like you or you don't like someone else, your ass isn't carrying enough C4.

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>>107365248

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>>107365248
FIRST OFF IT'S NOT C4, IT's PE4,

broadcasting "Don't Act Dumb" from a shitty baomeme radio run through an amp driven off a car battery as a prophylactic for a cash depot job (I have been instantly engaged by the local Old Guy HAM Squadron in a fox hunt and am using a Dell PowerEdge as a ballistic shield to protect myself from ham boomers with automatic shotguns firing birdshot)

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>>107365287
You are retarded, shut the fuck up you have no job, you are a mentally ill spammer.

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>>107365255
name even one(1) combat operation that doesnt involve you glowing like the fucking sun to anyone with so much as a USB SDR

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>>107365303
KYS

>>107365303
You never worked in the military shut the fuck up.

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>>107365308
It's the enemy's job to kill you. I don't work for free.

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reviewing the entire documentation for my language at 9 pm on a friday because I need to pass these interviews and get this new job so I'll finally be making six figures and have a chance to own a home and not live in a pod and pay my debt off and help out my dad financially and actually go outside and meet new people and be able to afford my planned looksmaxxing surgeries and stop being an incel and have kids and

>stolen valor furnigger has a job
Is that the secret? Just make up that you were a SEAL or whatever?

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>>107365319
All of this nigger spam from you equates to nonsense kill yourself now.

>>107365330
>looksmaxxing
Fuck surgeries anon just eat omelettes, salads and steaks so you stay at optimal weight without losing muscles.

>>107365358
no amount of omlettes fixes genetic dark circles or a large nose or a narrow jaw or being 5'7

>>107365368
My wife already made me cum today. Stop talking.

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>>107365368
Yeah but it makes you skinny as shit. But i get it anon i am sorry for your situation. Dark circles aint the worse if you use moisturizer.

What are you studying for job wise?

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>>107365337
>All of this nigger spam from you equates to nonsense
Again, I wonder how I ever got hired.

>>107365316
True; I only have a gunmetal SSI. Even with talking with the boys, or even randos at pubs; I was on the dipshit minesweeper "reservist botes"; we did our missions, they weren't useful, and we had an arguably great time. But at least I wasn't as useless as the "drone operator" I had in the caribbean or the "sigint specialist" on another sail who did nothing himself and just sent waterfalls to Ottawa.

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One nice thing I can say about my new job though, among all the other nice things

>Find a wingman while you can. You'll have a better chance working as a team.
At least my immediate boss managed to do that, I guess. I feel really bad every time I'm not available, and feel really bad that I'm not as trained up and knowledgeable on the system as he is. But seeing stuff in action, I can see that he at least can use an extra set of hands. He says he appreciates it, and i don't care; I can see that if I were to do stuff on my own, the sheer time investment of walking around and pushing buttons could edge stuff out of SLA. I may be an idiot, but at least stuff is going on and if he were me I'd appreciate a vassal. Everyone needs prinnies.

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Is it allowed to enjoy your job?

How would you advise a friend in another department who is building working applications single handedly that an entire department should have done months ago and is drawing ire as someone exceptional in an otherwise average department? He came from a whole different industry but knows software well and probably has a bit of inferiority complex. He doesn’t seem to know corporate culture in a big corpo machine is often people protecting the status quo

>>107364062
this is sarcastic

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Should I ask my new work to give me time off to ask my old work if I can have a budget to do a whole lot of nonsense that really only I want to do, but could be useful to the unit

it may require asking someone if there's a company DigiKey account

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>>107365514
You, as a citizen of this country, always have the inherent right to Self-Defence, and the right to protect yourself, your shipmates, and the ship.

If you start shooting, people are going to shoot back at you.

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>>107365514
Alternatively,
>When anything goes wrong, she hits it with the bonito.
>the bonito endures.
Does he want to be the lady or the bonito? This is an important question to ask him. Maybe your coworker, truly, within his soul, yearns to be the bonito.

>>107365561
>>107365614
Tell me more desu.
>>107365561
This hits me deep

gut is churnin
turkey getting turned into a turd as we speak

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>>107365636
I know you're trolling me but will respond anyway, for the only reason anyone gets better at anything is by being challenged. Even if it's fake, who doesn't get good at something by first doing it in a sandbox?

What is your specific question?

I was laid off from meta ~1 year ago. I didn't code or keep up to date with trends, I drank and did drugs instead. What did I miss? What do I need to know?

I'm just now starting to prepare for interviews and I want to make sure I'm preparing correctly. Is it still grind leetcode and get good at system design?

Also how the fuck am I supposed to solve these captchas? Does everyone posting have a 4chan pass?

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actually something i tried to ignore but now it's back

I don't even remember the context but, boss said
>If you've been here for a few weeks and none of this fazes you, you'll be fine
It's threatening in a special way. How bad could things possibly be? Do other people quit at the first sign of trouble? Am I that much of a lunatic that I can just deal with it? Have I been evading work well enough to not see how bad things are? Is my level of evasion normal for them? How have they run out of better lunatics?

what does a security+ exam looks like? i asked chatgpt and it says i cant even clasp my hands or tilt my head

>>107365724
This is a completely normal thing for a manager to say and you’re reading into too much. Are you on the spectrum?

>>107365706
meta mis juevos en tu boca

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i got a dm from @lilymeev
is this a catfish account?

we chatted a good while though. i love girls who look like this

>>107365706
>Does everyone posting have a 4chan pass?
brother is your time worth so little that you're willing to fill out captchas?

>>107365743
>Clasp my hands or tilt my head?
Anon are you also using chatgpt to write your responses on here?

Just use Boson.com for testing material and find some free PDF's its still easier than Net+ but the questions are weird.

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>>107365761
no chatgpt says the proctor is always on standby the entire time and it says any single weirdly human behavior like coughing is immediate disqualification

im the type of guy who fidgets lots

>>107365782
Go in person and they give you paper to doodle with. Online proctor is fine but they hate you fidgeting and you can't have paper. It's not immediate disqual you have to get out of your chair and walk around for that.

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>>107365744
Never diagnosed but probably. Not to be edgy in that particular way, but that one felt like it's illustrating why 99% of the team is ex-mil, and despite having an active mil ID and clearance, I am not as cool as the rest of them, and my previous non-mil jobs were not so hard either.

It just seems like the stuff people tell me is so hard seems pretty trivial, and the stuff they tell me about that they say is trivial is stuff I cannot even begin to understand. And on the purely tech side, I am a fucking fraud already, niggas be like "just run fsck lol" and I'm like "Disk Destroyer????"

>>107365806
Just stop jerking off to furrfaggotry for once in your life and read some books on the job you supposedly have. The smart thing to do when faced with inadequacy is to self learn your way out of it.

>>107365806
Yiff in hell, furfag.

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i wish my supposed tech job was as simple as being on force protection

quitting my job on monday to go Infantry

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>>107365828
i already have ss64.com bookmarked and bought a heat gun from Princess Auto to do my own incredibly ghetto electronics (re)work

>>107365853
No retard go read actual certification books. cheat sheets is not a way to learn the systems.

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>>107365870
i gave up on comptia when i read the A+ and it gave me an exact pin COUNT for a given socket but not its actual PINOUT like a datasheet would provide. if i cant associate signal high to a given actual human-appreciable function i dont want to read about it, that is shit for proper engineers, not me

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RS-485 is supposedly real and apparently it can hurt me

>>107365883
>that is shit for proper engineers, not me
IT is even easier than programming. If you can't learn easy shit then go fuck off.

tech bros why are the dating apps so hard

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>>107365898
I don't know if you've figured this out yet but I'm a fucking moron. I can at least look at the blinkenlites though. But I am not equipped to map entire networks by myself, nor figure out what the hell is going on on them.

I can try my best, and my best is apparently good enough. I just feel bad a lot of the time that my best isn't very good, and there are more capable people who could be doing what I'm doing.

I like to say "I'm good at what I do I'm the best agent blah blah blah" but what I do for myself is not IT nonsense. To have been hired to actually do it now, my fraudulence has caught up to my soul. I don't care what my superiors say, and I think my superiors realize I'm not very good at these things. This is not a good situation. The force is woefully underequipped now that I'm here.

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>>107365965
Shut the fuck up and leave then. Please stop spamming non tech/IT related shit non stop.

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On the other end, though, maybe that was why someone was stupid enough to hire me. I admit my weakness, and I know I don't even know the business. If my best story in the interview is doing powershell nonsense to mangle plaintext, maybe a janky motherfucker is what they wanted. But I don't want to be a janky motherfucker forever. I want to know what the hell I'm touching, how I'm touching it, and what I'm touching is even doing.

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>>107365998
I have been in "tech" for a decade. I've been a dog of the shogunate, but one kept in the server room.

>>107366018
No you haven't clearly you are larping as both military and IT you don't know shit faggot.

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>>107365790
problem is i live in indonesia bro
the exam is online and i have to come to the same place i have a bootcamp in

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>>107366028
I don't know shit, but I have my useless medals. Those useless pieces of metal prove I participated and was good enough, but "good enough" doesn't cut it in the private sector! "good enough" is the bare minimum!

DEI-woke fukks reap what you sowed
zero fukks given

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i dont get what youre trying to get by being here but this isnt a way to make friends or at least soothe your loneliness

>>107366054
Well that counts as a testing location. It's up to you to decide on what's ideal. I prefer online since i am a quick tester.

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>>107366064
Find a wingman while you can. You'll have a better chance working as a team.

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>actually work at a flight sim place now

just waiting for the day where i can drop the AC quotes
>This is a special place; where countless pilots polish their skills with eachother, independent of their ranks.

I feel like my big boss is trying to work me that way; we've had some suspect interactions. It's not even me being a hoe. Just stuff about learning or wanting to implement soldering skills or implementing power supply design. But still. I'm not a pilot, I'm not an engineer, I certainly don't know how to do SMD shit.

This is the job I always wanted and while there's some annoying bits, those aren't the scary bits.

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Do real tech people deal with anything more complicated?

this furfaggot is why i support abortion and the death penalty
some people just do not deserve to live

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>>107366258
if I have a job, above all the jeets and leetcoders, something deeper than sheer availability is going wrong.

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Recruiting /g/ posters for a cash depot robbery (you will be required to get into at least one (1) firefight with shotgun equipped GardaWorld agents(we are ripping off GTA5 and conducting a diversionary strike(the actual robbery team making off with the cash pallets is still expected to get into a running gun battle)))

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why does he decide to sperg out every few nights and drop a dozen posts

Furnigger have you ever considered that maybe you should just do something other than IT?

can't wait for Blumpf to declare ultra-fascism and liquidate all furfags

furfag, i want you to know that i spent minutes waiting for this shitty captcha system to work just to tell you to kill yourself.

>>107366079
Whats the test gonna feel like? I cant even scratch my hair? Is it all multiple choices?

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>>107366315
I work with computers and as much as I hate it, it's all I've ever known what to do

as our patron saint stephenson wrote,
>"This is not a normal situation," the man says.
>"Look out the window, asshole."

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>>107366318

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>>107366282
>>107366335
pic related on the claim that you work in IT

>>107366332
Its 120 questions multiple choice and you get 20 lab questions. You are only given 2 hours to complete the test.

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>>107366349
>pic related on the claim that you work in IT
It's a fair assessment. I just turn it off and back on again. For some reason they pay me to do that.

>>107366315
This guy drops 100 posts almost every 3rd thread. Complete derailment of the thread. Full of nigger spam furrshit.

>100k fee for new H1B
>Blocking scam applicants
>AI is reaching a plateau and companies realize they're still gonna need real humans for a while
>Look at job listings on LinkedIn
>Jobs from nearly a week ago with only a couple dozen applicants
>Used to be over 100 in less than a day
I think I want to stay in my current position for a few more years but it's nice to know I'll be able to jump ship safely when the time comes

>>107366318
this but unironically

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>>107366369
I thought this was a thread for people with "tech" jobs? I'll admit I spent a lot of time unemployed, but that's what utwg was for. I've got a job at a defence contractor now! I'm a proper mercenary, but with computers! The hell do you do, then, that you're so much better than me?

>>107366389
You don't have a tech job faggot. Shut the fuck up. All you do is spam gay nigger nonsense non stop and none of it has to deal with IT or programming. You can't even complete A+ because "Its for engineers" how retarded are you?

>>107366389
Can you seriously say anything you spam is remotely tech related?

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>>107366404
I'm very retarded but still got to be in charge of warships' servers and now at the new gig it's in support of flight simulators so whatever

I can be all anxious about my place in the world but i appear to have a place at all

>>107366424
Actual liar stolen valor bullshit.

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>>107366431
believe what you will; everybody lies

imagine having this fucking furnigger on your staff.

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A furfaggot who is terminally insecure, treats his job like its a gift from god, never listens to anyone and treats small talks like attacks to his personality. Can't handle critism and spams the local chat over non related work tasks. Is scared of the tech he works on but still cant be trusted around any of it. When given advice just throws it back as if he has mental issues that prevents him from learning something as simple as A+. Dear god please kill this man if he ever shows up in the workplace. He sounds like a hostile tard being trusted with a knife.

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>>107366349
Shiiiessssttttt
Whats the passing grade btw?

>>107366503
Its a made up number with a bunch of questions varying in point cost. It's like taking a test but the only way to pass is doing 90% on the test.

the furfag isn't any worse than the rest of the folks over at /utwg/ tbdesu.

>>107366517
It is faggot. I none of it is IT related. none if it is programming related. None of it is actual real military. He spams nonsense that isn't real and any advice given is thrown back as some mental issue he has which we know he has.

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>my coworkers (bosses) are an old guy squadron

>i used to recite the force protection "you have the inherent right to protect yourself, shipmates, and the ship" spiel to my juniors, hoping that they would get a certain something that none of us can describe
I have a strange feeling that whatever thing I felt then, my bosses feel towards their new hire. It doesn't feel good, and it doesn't feel morally right. But I'll do my best when I feel like it.

>>107366472
>treats his job like its a gift from god
hitting my party with Bravery and Faith such that I can overcome god's inherent Protect and Shell

>>107366545
Go read Tech+/A+/Net+/Sec+ and fuck off. Nothing you have posted is related to work.

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I fear that I was hired because I am a prideful and arrogant lunatic.

>>107366560
Not work related kill yourself.

>>107366560
How many times are you going to spam your insecurities about being hired and being found out that you are retarded instead of fixing it? God read some IT books faggot.

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>>107366555
None of that course content is anything new to anyone who has been so much as a power user at home, let alone a defacto sysadmin in a workplace for long enough to not be thrown overboard.

>>107366567
I could go on, but it would be about ITAR stuff, maybe even Secret nonsense.

>>107366589
Wrong IT related books go in more depth than any of the shit most power users ever touched at home. This is why you are a larping faggot. Go read that shit instead of crying about being retarded at the work place.

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>>107366581
>How many times are you going to spam your insecurities
All of them, every single day. I am even only barely adequate because I admit my weakness and grow from it as a matter of course. One is actually never the best; there is always someone better. admitting weakness is the only way to learn and grow.

All firefights are inherently lost from the start, no amount of weapon coverage can cover a battle plan that has made contact with the enemy, even in a race on the best grip line the calculated one hasn't taken into account exact brake and tire wear. You can only do your best. You can only complain. Complaining is the only way problems are identified and fixed, or at least compensated for.

>>107366589
Power users are a meme none of them know IT shit. None of them have ever touched more than their OS. These people are functionally useless without certs or a degree.

>>107366615
>I admit my weakness
No you don't you actively ignore advice to go read IT books since you ignore reality. Power users are stupid they have zero grasp over the rest of the tech in a office. You are living proof since all you do is spam your insecurities without resolving it through education. SPAM SPAM SPAM all day. You clearly don't read what everyone is posting and just spam away the same shit over and over.

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I complain mostly about the weird stuff that goes on in defence, and the weirder stuff in the specific things I touch; if you're salty that getting Enhanced Reliability and A+ didn't get you a job, that is not my problem.

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Thoughbeit
>at the unit
>force protection exercise
>coxn somehow got the actual boats to agree to this
>coxn himself points me out and says "You've sailed before, you've got two hooks! You're now Force Protection Officer for your group!!"
>fuck it up immensely

Even if you're le IT guy where are the resources on leadership? I can tell an IT vassal to crimp me some cables or restart a server but leading or heading off assaults really did show me that I'm not a good manager. I can make all the impassioned speeches I want but that doesn't translate to people doing what I need them to do. At my new job I'm the new guy so that's up to them, but at my old job that I still hold I have juniors and I want to be able to throw them at tasks like the prinny I used to be. And even at my new job, I don't want to make them think of me like I think of my useless juniors at the other place.

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>do something next to a junoir
>expect him to at least be able to do it like Lv.0 style

>boss does something next to me
>I feel like I should be able to do it at least like Lv.0 style

I feel like I'm a bad manager and a bad vassal

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If you are a manager, make your boys feel appreciated. It doesn't take a crazed speech, but let them know that you will fight with them, even if "fight" means navigating systems to get some spare SFPs or even just someone's overtime paid properly. If you are a boss, be an appreciated boss. If you are a junior, and your boss isn't doing that kind of thing, poke him until he does.

Maybe as a junior it will take you making some kind of crazed speech. Maybe you're a proper manager and have to make that kind of thing to the people above you. But in the grand scheme, we're all explosive penguins to be thrown at problems, and we make those problems go away. We are such because we are effective. The work cannot go on without you.

stop

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But, y'know, I've never done anything ever, in my entire life.

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Is life really so hard?

>>107366792
I wouldn't say my boss isn't supportive but there's a lot of times when he goes
>shit is fucked
>boss man: "i'll push back on this, you agree with me that this won't work."
>meeting starts
>he caves in every single time without a fight
>boss: "sorry anon,it is what it is".
It's freaking frustrating but I get it. Office politics sucks. Doesn't make me feel not shitty about it.

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>>107366995
>>he caves in every single time without a fight
Some people -- most people -- are weak in the face of authority. I wish I could make a big show about it with you, but sometimes, we can't just draw a sword about it. We are here to fight with you, but most firefights are lost from the start.

>>107367039
Yeah I get it. I just wish I could change my mindset, I think I get way too personal with my work that if I feel a direction is shit (or if we have none) it really ruins my mental.

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>>107367046
If it's any consolation, squeaky wheels are told that if they buy their own grease, as long as they're quiet after, no one asks any questions. The main reason systems get utterly out of hand with weird ad-hoc fixes is people like us get one little exception here or there to do something necessary. Just please record what you've done once you've done it.

>>107367080
why the hell do people even hate you here? you're probably one of the most helpful anons here. i appreciate you man.

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joining the infantry to be free of ticketing systems

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>>107367093
I am a dire person with no real tech skills, a career history of things that also dont really need any tech skills, and what little knowledge I have is directed towards useless things, learned from a jobs program, redirected towards mercenary ends. Also I'm really annoying

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>company went through a divestiture 3 years ago
>large enterprise tool used as a service by one segment of our company relies on a certain domain. several major clients rely on this heavily
>this domain is lost in the divestiture and they buy a new domain for it to move things over
>recently a massive outage occurs when the company that split off from us purges the DNS records for the domain
>entire enterprise platform breaks because they didn't move shit over to the new domain they bought.
>huge fucking outage for customers for a prolonged period for shit they had 3 years to fix

fucking lmao entire teams are probably about to get crucified for this

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An actual thing that isn't just me being an asshole; recommendations on user-proof cable? We go through a lot of audio cables that just have little "tiny break in the line that can only be found with a reflectometer" type failures; what's that good shit for user proof cables these days?

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Alternatively, should I start carrying a sword and after personally repairing and testing every cable just going
>It's intermittent? And depends on you moving around? You wanna dance?

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Something that doesn't really matter, but
>ran into my reserve unit CO while I was biking away from my Other Job
Reservists are powerful in that we have other jobsand also do military shit. it sounds edgy but really it's the inverse that's important; in the civilian world no one cares but when you're at an actual unit we're the only people who know how to read, let alone how to properly conduct an operation. They're mostly dead now, but the beloved minesweepers were warships full of educated people. City slickers who would dedicate at least half their life to making a podunk ship able to throw down with the rest of NATO.

They made up a dark time of my life, but I'll honestly miss them.

I have a real job now, but I'll be talking about those things like the old guy squadron talks about the destroyers.

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hanging a picture of Doug Winger in my cubicle to remind myself every day that i dont have to draw my sword, i just have to design a better one (and then draw(render(raster)) the sword as a giant skunk penis)

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Honestly, what do you guys do? What is it you're working on? I can say I work at the helicopter place, what are you doing?

>>107367312
I make more than you stupid faggot.

>>107367312
imagine having a katana hewn from stone

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quints and i quit my job and sexually assault the current admiral for purely offensive warfare reasons

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quads and i tell my boss i want to join the local archery club (it would require no time off or anything, it would just be weird that i would express such a thing)

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any real number and i open an assault upon the liberal crime squad (i am not a member of the conservative crime squad, im just testing the effects of a high noise ratio)

>>107351290
Neat

New bread
>>107369896