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Jonathan Blow: I make games that respect the player’s intelligence.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: Respect? Man I made a game that respect the dance. Crank that joystick.

Jonathan Blow: My puzzles are about epistemology. About understanding the nature of knowledge.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: Knowledge? I knew how to go viral in 2007. That’s timeless wisdom.

Jonathan Blow: In The Witness, the island teaches you without words.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: No words? Bro my island got ad-libs. SOULJA! Every puzzle solved you hear “YUUU.”

Jonathan Blow: That would… undermine the contemplative silence.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: Silence don’t chart. Add a beat. Players solve the maze, bass drops, world healed.

Jonathan Blow: Games shouldn’t manipulate players with dopamine tricks.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: Ain’t manipulation if they choose to crank it.

Jonathan Blow (sighs): My ideal player spends hours in quiet reflection.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: My ideal player spends hours unlocking gold armor by doing the Superman.

Jonathan Blow: You’re trivializing design.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: You’re underestimating swag as a mechanic.

Jonathan Blow: Swag is not a mechanic.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: It is if it has cooldowns.

(Beat.)

Jonathan Blow: …What are the cooldowns?

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: Depends on how hard you crank.

Jonathan Blow: That’s actually an interesting risk–reward system.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: See? Indie rap synergy. Call it Braid That.

Jonathan Blow: Absolutely not.

Soulja Boy Tell ’Em: Too late, I already trademarked it.