Another jeet one I encountered yesterday:

>manager notices a certain stored proc is taking massive amounts of CPU time on our DB server, asks me to look into it
>stored proc SELECTs and filters data from several tables, puts it into several temp tables, then selects from those tables again and INSERTs it unmodified into another table, then runs an UPDATE where it filters and modifies the data it just INSERTed
>there are multiple layers of this extracting unmodified data into temp tables before insertong it into another table

>>107795121

And just to clarify, there was no difference in the types in the columns

Since you tards aren't posting anything, here's another:

>working at megacorp
>90% of my coworkers are now jeets
>get assigned creating an API client for some 3rd party software integration
>after completing it, get a call from jeets because they can never be bothered to just type out what they need in Teams first
>"Anon, can you make it so that this specific API call sends a list to the third party API instead of one item at a time?"
>"Unfortunately it's set up to only take one at a time by [third party], I can add a method that takes a list and sends each individual one for you automatically though if you want"
>"How long would that take to implement? We need this by 3 months from now at the latest."
>"3 months? I can have it done 5 minutes after this meeting."
>jeets on the call think I'm some crazy talented coding wizard who performs black magic because it doesn't take me months to write a loop

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>>107795067
Once I had to drive 450km just to push the power button.

>work in large tech store, in the audio department
>dad-type dude comes in with his beer gut and sneakers
>he's looking for a (and I quote) "big ass loud stereo system"
>dealt with this type of moron a thousand times, show him the big and flashy section they usually end up in
>nope, he sees the really expensive area with premium equipment
>shit
>he decides to buy a set of Verity Audio Leonore which were around $16k back then
>so the moron has money...
>tell him he's gonna need proper amps and all that to power them
>he looks at me like I am retarded, he goes to the normal section again
>points at a $400 Yamaha 5.1 receiver
>I give up at that point, send him to the checkout
>next day, I am working in another section but I hear a familiar voice
>same man, bright red in the face screaming at some poor service lady at the help desk
>move closer
>he ranting about buying expensive speakers that don't work, can't get any volume and "no bass"
>laugh to myself and continue working

That was pretty much a weekly experience for me working as a tech salesman for a decade.

>>107795289

Never had one that bad, but I once had to drive 50 miles (80km) for a printing and networking issue (IT at the other location was out that day) and it turned out the user was connected to the guest wifi instead of the corporate wifi and that's why they couldn't access anything and why we couldn't remote into their laptop.

>>107795360
That story makes you sound pretty dumb.

Another for you all

>jeets at my work don't understand dependencies at all
>everything is DLLs linked manually, no one uses NuGet (C#'s package manager) at all, they literally email around zip files full of DLLs
>I take a random sample of our projects at one point, we're using at least 20 distinct versions of Newtonsoft.Json and that's just one example
>jeet manager realizes thet this is making our development and deployment processes a mess and sends out an email telling everyone that we need to use NuGet for dependencies, and that all internal shared libraries need to be published as NuGets too
>but in typical jeet fashion, he refuses to actually enforce this order
>me and out crusty old white DevOps guy were the only ones publishing our internal libraries as NuGets, and continue to be the only ones doing so after the policy change from management
>only advantage the change gave is that I can quote it at jeets that beg me to send them a zip file fill of DLLs, send them a link to the NuGet package instead
>instead of using a reference to the NuGet I sent them like a sane person would, they manually download it and extract the DLL from it, and manually add the entire chain of DLLs in the dependency chain (and usually don't pick the right versions of dependencies)
>As a result I repeatedly get pulled into multi-hour calls to help them solve dependency conflicts when they attempt to use my libraries

>>107795470

Ok bro. It was one of the higher-up's laptops and they were doing a bunch of meetings/presentations at the site that day, head of IT insisted that we drive out there to fix it ASAP once we were unable to remote in and the higher-up insisted they were connected to the wifi.

>>107795533
Your standard troubleshooting should have caught this easily. This just sounds like pure incompetence.

>>107795589

I agree, our standard troubleshooting couldn't be used because the head of IT insisted we do something else, are you illiterate?

>>107795608
Man, you must have felt like a real idiot driving all that way just to do basic over-the-phone troubleshooting. And it was for a higher up too? I'm surprised he didn't fire you guys for wasting his time lol

>>107795067
>dies
He didnt died.

Thanks for this thread bros. I am never getting into software development until TJD.

>>107795067

> working on an ML pipeline, more or less leading this part of the project
> jeet assigned to implement a subcomponent which takes an image and returns the processed result (a new image)
> this meant the jeet was responsible for C++ and CUDA. this is extremely terrifying.
> (jeets should be confined to writing Java in the same way they should be confined to driving the Prius)
> jeet implements the component, integration time for me!
> every time I pass an image to the component, it returns garbage, essentially random data
> it's probably on my end. spend time figuring out whether I'm passing in the data wrong or something
> no, after much debugging, actually my code is correct. jeet component must be the problem.
> reach out to the jeet showing the inputs/outputs, describe that the component always returns garbage
> jeet discounts this entirely, sends an angry email with my manager CC'd
> bolded, red text. ANON NEEDS TO REWRITE HIS COMPONENT. IT IS DOING BAD THINGS IN THE PROCESS CAUSING CORRUPTION
> okay, fuck it. you're never going to make progress once they start currywalling you
> start debugging jeetware myself
> it is revealed
> the jeetware ignores all inputs and processes uninitialized memory every time

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>>107796116
even if by some miracle all jeets died, the average normalfag is a complete tech illiterate and the new generations are somehow more retarded than boomers when it comes to tech

>couple years ago
>doing some backend support for a web shop
>one day see that one international order doesn't generate a label because the label generation plugin didn't transmit the data properly
>contact the plugin support
>Indians
>don't hear from them for weeks
>decide to write my own little label generation script in Perl
>one week later it's production ready
>generates a hundred labels in less than ten seconds
>would've previously taken two minutes
>also handles international shipping properly
>couple weeks later
>Indian support team asks for more information
>tell them to go eat cow poo

>>107795289
i traveled to another country to perform two consecutive software downloads
3 days of travel for 5 minutes of work
4 flight, 6 taxi rides, two hotel nights
it was le "important" that we did it so that the ppap could be fast-tracked
oh well, i had a good time and the guys in the factory were cool

>>107796415
I did that once, and it wasn't even indians. We ran for years using my reverse engineered hack job with 0 problems. Until they wanted to push out an update and I had to admit we hadn't been using their software. They then gave me the runaround for nearly a year refusing to tell me what was wrong, just failing it and pointing to the shitty documentation. Demonstrating that mine was generating bit-for-bit identical output to their software just enraged them further. Their system wasn't "conforming" either, but they gave themselves a pass, whereas I had to figure out what they wanted it to do by trial and error. I also had to point out repeatedly that their documentation was completely at odds with their verification system and they should perhaps change it.
I have a strong suspicion that it had something to do with the fact that our rep had been impressed with our system and when one of their clients had been having problems and were threatening to leave, he had said "why don't we see if anon_company can help them?" Tech autists don't like it when you tell them someone else is smarter than them.
Fortunately that courier went bust.

>>107795249
>they can never be bothered to just type out what they need in Teams first
Sounds like the women I work with going out of their way to send a screen recording with them yapping over it, then expecting me to drop what I'm doing to watch and listen to it. Then I'm the bad guy for pointing out it's ridiculous.

>>107795249
>>"3 months? I can have it done 5 minutes after this meeting."
I learned not to make assumptions like that. I had one just the other day where rather than have people click-click-click 300 times I figured I'd just put it in a loop and call the endpoint 300 times. Turns out the remote script puts a log entry in with only 1sec granularity as a primary key so it would just fail most of the queries. Putting in a sleep(2) fixed it, but it took me longer than 5 minutes to figure out why the first one would work but the other 299 would Error 502. I was looking for regenerating tokens and shit because it DID use a token that regenerates but it apparently didn't care if you used the same one, it just had a stupid DBA is all.

>>107796664
I wouldn't mind that. The bane of my existence is emails, texts and IMs that are "can I ask you a question about $SYSTEM?"
Fucking hell, just ask. Now I need to ask you what you want to ask. Which will in turn lead to a time consuming back and forth as I narrow down what your problem is. When I get a god damn photo of the error on whatsapp, it's fucking all my birthdays and christmases at once.

>>107796395
>currywalling
kek

>2018
>Hundreds of H1 stinkers flood our office
>Constant smell of fried fish in the kitchen
>Bathrooms are a disgusting mess
>Literal foot prints on the toilet seats
>After all their contracts ends the company spends 4 years undoing their shooty code

>>107795067
> Company gets bought and merged into another one with INDIANS working from INDIA
> INDIANS start fucking around with our CI/CD, which runs on our dev server
> INDIANS write a bash script that includes `rm -rf /$1` and forget to pass an arg to the script
> INDIANS nuked our server - fortunately WHITES (me and team) kept backups off the server and recovered all the damage

>>107797660
Did you at least murder some of them? Like, straight-up blasting their brains? They deserve that.

>>107797689
Lmao I just checked his profile on slack, the fucker that nuked our server is now DIRECTOR OF DATA SCIENCE we are so cooked. I wish that comet would have struck India last year

>>107796410
Normalfags wouldn't jugaad their way through shit they have no business being in

I'm trying to get into IT and these Jeet stories are lowkey blackpilling me. What sector has the least amount of stinkjeets in it?

>>107797942
HFT and kernel development. The closer you get to the bare metal the better, because people actually rely on the code working.

>>107798008
>tfw can't code

>>107795067
there was a celebrity called Darius Danesh, a singer from Scotland who had persian parent or something, maybe he was also a pajeet.
he drank some water from the Thames as part of an advert for a water filter, but he drank the unfiltered water and got a virus which killed him slowly over 5 or so years.

>>107798040
So a Darwin award with additional suffering.
Awesome.

>>107797942

Defense contractors, the need for security clearance for most roles drastically limits the amount of foreigners in general.

>>107795360
Kekaroo

Just left a company where Indians would just give up and say “it’s too technical” if they couldn’t get spaghetti from chatgpt working. I’m glad I left. This also made me lose all faith in investing in the s&p and nasdaq so putting money elsewhere

>>107795249
I don't understand why they love calling so much. Their accents are unintelligible anyway. Maybe because it'd be harder to screenshot evidence of their incompetence...

>>107798231
>it’s too technical
In a proper society that would warrant an immediate death sentence without trial.

>Team lead was a white man but without the stereotypical white man powers. He looked and sounded smart but wasn't actually that smart.

>Team lead obsessed with minification of JS code but for woo-woo reasons. Almost every page was internal, so the security reason was BS. All pages used the same large zipped resource file, negating the advantage of minification.

>Team lead forced the team to use libraries despite the functionality being much simpler and easier to code in house. The implementation in the libraries were needlessly complex. All of the libraries he forced the team to use ended up abandoned by their owners.

>One algorithm he had a hand in creating that was responsible for financial calculations wasn't accurate but usable. There were math operations with constants added here and there with nonsensical explanations. The algorithm could be made much simpler without the woo-woo math.

>Almost every one of his designs for new features was bad and required editing. Boss forced team to use and fix his bad designs.

>Nothing he wrote was scalable. Nothing he came up with was scalable.

>He was bad with debugging and often passed difficult problems onto other team members.

>His ego was so big that he thinks just because he can't do it, other people can't do it either. He never asks for ideas or suggestions. He never explained his decisions.

>He never really acted like a team lead except when forcing his bad choices onto the team. He was more like an independent dev.

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>>107798242
No it's something else and I have no idea what it is. I work in accounting not IT, but I had a new payroll admin demand I call her. From her accent I could tell she was Indian, and she went on a rant how great she is. In the end she asked what are the sales staff supposed to be paid and what are deductions. In the sheet I gave her, from an accounting point of view, it was pretty clear what each person was supposed to be paid but she couldn't grasp what a debit or credit was supposed to mean. She was eventually fired I think.

Need some thoughts. Been through two big tech companies as a contract data center tech with shit benefits $35/hr. I might be getting an offer to join the IBEW. Would be starting over but in four years would be making ~50/hr on the check and $50 towards pension and retirement. No more fear of getting contracts cut early and shuffled around grunt work projects. There are fewer and fewer FTE positions and there's always AI, offshoring remote work, and younger contractors to compete with.

>>107798242
>I don't understand why they love calling so much
Because it takes intelligence to organize your thoughts enough to write them down in a non-retarded way that you're comfortable sending to somebody. It takes no intelligence to vomit broken Hinglish into an Aliexpress microphone for 45 minutes until the silly American says "fuck it" and does your job for you.

Is a masters degree in CS worth it? Are there any women in the classes

>>107799223
that's an internship
you know exactly what happens to interns

>>107799393
No and no, it's entirely foreign men trying to get visas because getting a masters increases your likelihood of winning the H1B lottery, and makes you eligible for OPT/F1. Get your Bachelors and find a job. If anything, the Masters recipients I've worked with tend to be weaker than their Bachelors counterparts. I don't think the Masters makes you stupid, but many people get it for reasons that correlate with being stupid.

>>107799477
Im not in the US but I suppose the same logic works in my cunt as well. My buddy did it and he said it was all foreigners too kek. I'm a NEET, got my CS degree done 2 years ago and have been NEETing since. I just want an outlet to meet women and potentially make friends, figured going back to uni could be the play but idk anymore.

>>107795289
>>107795360
Never had one that bad, but one time a relative drove 30km (19 miles) to my house to bring his desktop PC for me to take a look. The issue was that it had no audio.
The main volume slider in Windows was just set all the way down.

>>107795067
imagine the izzat tho

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>>107795067
Thankfully I've never had the displeasure of working with jeets but I have at school:
> taking a course on real-time operating systems
> could tell that the university couldn't find anyone qualified to teach on the topic because it was taught by a schizophrenic chinaman and 3 pajeets straight from the bowels of calcutta
> all the chinaman did was talk about how he works on robots that diffuse bombs and smart glasses for the secret service during lecture time while the pajeets made the curriculum
> the first 3 assignments were hello world programs and basic math that wouldn't even pass for high school work in a first world country
> even though the assignments were so easy the pajeets managed to make take points away because they managed to somehow make it confusing and hard to interpret enough
> as a result some entire lectures just involved the gaggle of jeets coming in and babbling in hinglish explaining the answers trying to save their izzat while the students argued back and forth durga style
> the only thing the chinese professor made was the exam and this was one of the questions on it
> I emailed him what the fuck he meant by this and he told me I missed the class where he talked about this
> I was the first person to come to class early each day, not so I could listen to his schizophrenic ramblings but to beat traffic and grade assignments for another operating systems course that I was a teaching assistant for that was actually a comprehensive course about operating systems
> this was a fourth-year course at a canadian university, it wasn't waterloo but it also wasn't conestoga
I graduated almost a year ago but my family still sometimes urges me to do a master's degree. This course was maddening and had me taking asprin. They don't know how bad it is.

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>>107795067
>Work a retail store as a stock manager
>Nice old lady comes one day to buy HDMI cables
>Comments to me she doesn't know how to set up get living room flat screen as a monitor
>Explain it to her
>Says it's too hard and ask me to take a look for her
>Sure
>Really nice lady
>Next week
>At chink work
>She comes back with a oldfart friend of hers
>He's carrying a laptop and tells me he can't connect to the internet using his wi-fi
>click on troubleshoot
>reboot
>it just werks
>both leave happy
>Chang-in-Chief is not happy I'm using his company hours to help old people tech problems
>Ok
>Word gets around
>She hooks up me with more old farts
>Word spreads between my neighbours that I work IT on the side (I don't)
>Fix computers, TVs, car stereos and what not for the elderly
>One stands out
>Dude buys a 60" smart tv
>Asks me to help him set it up
>Go to his house
>Pic related tier house
>Stale moldy air
>Moldy clothes all around the floor
>black tiles
>Tv is inside his bedroom
>trash all over the "bed"
>at one corner he left a fucking bag of bread for reasons I don't know
>Hook his tv up
>Tells me his internet modem doesn't work
>It does work
>Says he can't connect to the internet using his phone
>God help me I don't want to touch that scrotum looking phone
>He can't type his password which is written under the modem
>Spend the next twenty minutes explaining to him how to connect his phone wi-fi
>Spend another hour explaining him how to operate his tv
>All the time he tries to cajole me into talking about schizo space shit
>Ayylions n' shit nigga
>Edge inch by inch close to the door trying to get out
>Eventually he figures it out and we say our goodbyes
>Hands me out an old hat as payment
>Offers me some of his bread
>Politely refuse
>360* and leave

>>107796473
>i traveled to another country to perform two consecutive software downloads
My company was selling an adapted software for a whole country in africa, basically to start working on it the country needed to send certified mail to us, and when it was finally developed after not knowing if they were going to pay or not, the developers needed to fly over the country to install the software in their servers and I guess to explain how to use it.
Every single other time we deploy something in our country, we just remotely connect to their server and deploy ourselves, or just send it to their IT team for them to do so, someday, when the stars align on the north star and someone takes 5 minutes to extract a tar.gz on the apache folder.

>>107795755
Not him but you sound like your really digging for a reason to call him stupid and its kinda cringe.

>>107800399
it's just izzat damage control

>>107800449
No, its just mental illness on an anime image website.

>>107797660
>(me and team) kept backups off the server and recovered all the damage
so you did the company's work for FREE, once again, and let them get away with their hiring decisions, AGAIN. You should have told them to go fuck themselves

>>107796395
Should have asked your supervisor to make this idiot prove it works. It clearly does not.

>>107796415
Never share this script with anyone. Ensure jobs security for yourself.

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>company starts hiring remotely in India to replace my team
>have to start training my replacements (I did get another position at the company)
>they have no idea what they're doing
>one of them asks "if we can't fix an issue, who do we go to for support"
>tell them "you are the support for anyone who can't fix their issues"
It's been a few months, AFAIK they're barely keeping things running over there. Had to get called back into that team a few times because they don't know what they're doing.
Heard this week through a coworker that the linux image building process is starting to fail.

>>107800797

Like compiling some custom Linux, or just creating a custom Linux container?

>>107800814
Company specific changes to standard distro images. For example, setting config files and ensuring cybersecurity policies are applied. It's all automated, but it does require maintenance.

>Take dev job working for a tiny agricultural supply company
>They run their own credit card for purchasing from their store and the surrounding town of 40k people. Lovely white town.
>This system had been built for 8 million dollars previously, development contract siphoned to jeets for 5 million. Original team gone.
>System includes a Card Management System, single postgres database and 50 different microservices written in an ancient version of Node.js performing different elements of the system.
>Team of 6, Head of IT, Data Analyst, Project Manager jeet, two Developers, one HelpDesk.
>Jeet project manager turned internal help guy is only internal employee. He is the 'pajeet whisperer' keeping the thing going.
>External contractor jeets have outsourced their work to some firm in India, which itself has outsourced the code to other indians. At least 20 indians worked on this system.
>Using serverless functions for everything, including batch jobs which timeout after 9 minutes.
>India based jeet "tester" manually building transactions which fail using notepad.
>Jeets were tasked with building a complex system to hold and release transactions. Unable to do so in 18 months since launch.
>Inherit zero documentation or knowledge, have to dig deep through old project folders for all insight.
>Of the 50 functions, only 36 were even deploying, 31 worked, 0 worked correctly.
I rebuilt about half of the system, primarily the core transaction processing in C# in about 10 months, but never again with Jeets.

>>107798242
This. I fucking hate it. I dread putting in support tickets to MS. The stupid form asks me "How do I want to be contacted". I select Email, they either just call me or they email me to ask if they can call clarify things.

> Working on software for smart cabinets for pharmacies (keeps track of stock, cabinet lights up to indicate where the medicine you're looking for is)
> We didn't build the software, we were hired to modernize it and add features to it
> Do some updates to a purge process
> Two senior devs sign off in code review
> Makes it past the QA team
> Finally, some days later, in production, we get notified that a pharmacy can't process refills
> It's a big pharmacy, Kaiser Permanente
> Goddamn it
> I poke around, figured out that the change I made made it so the purge process doesn't clean up all the relevant records in the database
> Specifically, it cleans up prescription records, but prescriptions are also SmartObjects (note that the name SmartObject doesn't tell you much about what the hell that is), and it's not cleaning up the smart objects.
> Cool, whip up a delete query to blow away the orphaned smart objects
> Figuring this out and writing the query took like an hour
> Run it
> It doesn't end in one mimute
> Doesn't end in 5 minutes
> Doesn't end in 10 minutes
> Ok, something's wrong
> Run it with the execution plan (this is T-SQL)
> It's the most schizo and convoluted execution plan I've ever seen
> When I zoom out to see all of it the boxes are tiny and all the text is illegible
> Looks it's doing a bunch of joins to all sorts of tables even though it's a delete statement targeting prescription type smart objects that don't have a record in the prescriptions table
> There's like 50k records to delete, for perspective
> Team lead stays up with me until 2am trying to figure this out
> I try to understand what's the issue with my query, he tried to make it so processing refills works even with the smart objects there
> The code for processing prescriptions is in one file containing 5k lines of code. He never figured it out. cont.

>>107801349
> Eventually, at like 1am, I get it
> It's doing all those joins because there are like 75 foreign keys pointing to the smart objects table
> Nearly everything in the system is also a smart object
> Prescriptions are smart objects
> Medicine in stock are smart objects
> The cabinets are smart objects
> The cubbies in the cabinets are smart objects
> The baskets in the cubbies are smart objects
> The alert messages the system generates are smart objects
> And on and on. They have a record in their table, and also in the SmartObjects table
> What was the point of this? Who knows
> I only see one solution: create a script to blow away all the foreign keys pointing to SmartObjects, delete the orphaned smart objects, then run another script to recreate the keys
> Boss doesn't like it, but can't think of anything better
> Takes like an hour to create the script. It's now 2am.
> Run it, blowing away the FKs.
> Run the delete statement. It executes instantenously.
> Recreate the keys
> It just werks, no referential integrity issues.
> Issue fixed

Anyway, it was great for my ego that it was me who figured it out and not my lead, he's a guy I consider to be quite smart and whom I respect.

>>107795067
>I turn his 1000+ line of nonsense into 12 lines of C#
bullshit, no fucking way kek.
please do needful and share the 1000 lines of spider web saar

>Support a software package for car companies
>development outsourced to India
>Compares Booleans to string in if statements
>Canadian French PCs return vrai and faux instead of true and false when doing boolean to string, breaking random
>Management ignores the problem

>>107795067
i once had to handle 33k emails when cloudfare was down last year.
posted here about it as well.

>>107799223
you've already hit the ceiling for datacenter monkeys. IBEW will provide you a career and a retirement. Plus when some customer tries to ratfuck you the union has your back

>>107800159
>>Offers me some of his bread
This is the point I stopped believing this funny story. Anyway this is your fault for being a pushover

That probably also explains why you took a "management" position in retail probably making like $25 an hour

>>107801435
>create a script to blow away all the foreign keys pointing to SmartObjects, delete the orphaned smart objects, then run another script to recreate the keys
Hope you were doing this in a transaction. Otherwise have fun fixing a client's production data when there's a transient network, database, or server issue that causes something to fail halfway through. I find it hard to imagine you couldn't just force your ORM just to not join all that stuff, or delete things in a cleaner way that didn't necessitate recreating stuff again after

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>>107795067
I've got one, it's a jeet of course
>security team ask if we can turn on LLDP so we can see direct interfaces connected from the router to their firewall
>Sure, go ahead and have an engineer enable LLDP on the router, tell the security team they can do the same on their firewall.
>jeet on the security team says "noo sars, this document says LLDP could give away information about your network
>say yeah no shit, IF YOU DON'T TRUST THE FAR END OF THE CONNECTION, WHICH IS MY FUCKING ROUTER, WE WORK FOR THE SAME COMPANY, IT'S ALL OUR GEAR
>sorry sars best practice is no LLDP
They're just as bad as the chinese, they cannot think critically.

>>107801327
That's done for more than one reason:
>1) support first contact standards expect you to call during the initial contact, even if you set your preferred contact type to email.
>2) tickets get closed significantly faster if you can get the customer on the phone or a meeting and discuss what the actual issue is instead of playing email tag.

If you're the kind of person that puts in good and relevant details in the issue description, good for you. However, the vast majority of tickets don't contain sufficient information or are missing critical bits.
Also when you're working for companies like Microsoft you have to juggle usually over a dozen tickets on any given day, and the work doesn't stop coming in. The quicker tickets can be closed, the less workload there is, and hence the insistence on calls or meetings.

t. Previously worked for M$ as tech support.

>>107797718
KEK he’s living his best life while you’re malding on /g/. I’m Indian and I love seeing you faggots seethe when I fuck out your systems and you work for free to fix it.

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>>107800509
>anime dite

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>working in T2 support role for software company
>software in question is used to manage financial processes for large companies, things like controlling when and how much their contractors got paid on 5-7 figure projects
>every once in a while, one of our clients would come to us with a spreadsheet full of IDs, and ask us to change the template these "widgets" (CRUD entity) were using to a different template
>when one such widget was created in the system, the creator chooses a template that controls the types of rules that would apply to that widget
>the system let you choose the template when you created such a widget, but once created you couldn't change it
>so situations would come up where the company had created a widget with some template, had others in the company and on the contractor's side enter all sorts of data that would be associated with that widget, then later realize it was the wrong template, but they don't want to have everyone re-enter all their data and go through all that process again
>within first few weeks of me joining this company, get such a request, ask other guy what to do
>here, take this SQL script. It has 2 parts. You run the first part, then you go into the UI and change the template from the dropdown, then run the 2nd part and you're done
>do hundreds if not thousands of these
>2 years later, meet the original developer of this application
>explain how we handle this request
>DUDE, there's a reason we don't give them a way to change the template. That would break everything. All you're doing is changing the template but all the data is still in the old state from the old template
To this day I have no idea what issues we caused, systematic or financial. Our clients never complained so I have to imagine they probably saw weird behavior on their end but didn't understand the system well enough to know if that was expected or not. Who knows.

>>107801945
>This is the point I stopped believing this funny story
That one part is true, I had to change some details around because I'm paranoid someone will read this and pin it on me. This dude works at some office building for a large firm, handing out launches and what not. Someone there gives him left over bread.
The rest is true, I need to start saying no. I ended up in retail out of convenience, I wanted be a teacher growing up but when I got to see how fucked the educational system is from behind the curtains, I dipped out hard. Since then I'm adrift not really caring about what I do.

>>107800025
I would have just guest Mantis based on how different they are from the other three.

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>>107802067
>implying pokemon is not an anime

lol

>>107797942
>>107798202

This

>>107795289
You would be surprised how many zoomers don't understand basic cad/cam functions. Or math. Or what lathes do.

>tech worker horror stories
>work in a fabled vfx company known for "its great culture and bla bla bla"
>get a houdini setup from the clique
>it is like vomit
This about sums it up. Some companies overhire either by own purpose or because they simply are incompetent.
Just move on if you can. Most community opinions are actually lies created by the failures who want pampering instead of just someone telling them that their work is shit.

>>107796473
>>107795289
My old workplace once flew a guy from Japan only to find their machine was indeed not plugged in.
I can't even imagine how dumb we, as a country, must look.

>>107795249
>>after completing it, get a call from jeets because they can never be bothered to just type out what they need in Teams first
>"Hello anon"
>nothing else for 20 minutes
>"Quick call"
> Call is then something that could have been a 2 line message filled with 15 extra minutes of "saar" level shit and other nonsense thrown in
God I hate them so goddamn fucking much

>>107798242
>Maybe because it'd be harder to screenshot evidence of their incompetence...
That's always my assumption honestly. That or they can get a few people in there to either gang up on you/confuse you

>>107798008
>The closer you get to the bare metal the better, because people actually rely on the code working.
This is no longer true. They are everywhere in low leve stuff now and the result is grim
> t. Embedded systems developer

>>107795067
Elon would fire you and hire the jeet.

>work at copy machine dealership
>get a service call for a risograph at x school
>the ink is dried up in the tube at the nipple
>extract the clod of dried up shit, shake it up, it works
>a week later get a call to do this again
>ask them to show me their supply
>niggerfaggot had sold them 500 tubes of ink for the commission
>they fired niggerfaggot but wont take responsibility for it
>because of the quota structure, this regular call is always a callback
>school staff is too stupid to shove a toothpick through the end of the ink tube
>never get paid to drive 30 miles out of town every week for 3 years to clean ink tubes

>set up cctv system for client
>setup they chose only has vga out, hooked up to display in rack
>they want to run a TV in the lobby
>setup a laptop to run the webpage
>years later they tell me it stopped working
>the laptop is gone
>new hire found this laptop tucked behind the cabinet and started using it for facebook games
>refuses to give it back
>have to listen to her bitch about it for hours as i try to setup another laptop with Silverlight and stop it from rebooting or updating in the year of our lord 2023

>updating isam for a client
>have typical vpn + rdp setup for management
>cant get to the management from the rdp one day
>new hires yeeted all of the firewall rules that werent strictly necessary
>takes them 3 days to restore access
>about 3 weeks later i cant get to my rdp session
>new hires yeeted all of the vmware consoles that werent strictly necessary
>a month later they end up making a new one because they also didnt make any backup images and kept losing my ticket when they couldnt magically manifest my workstation again
>client refuses to extend contract
>data breach about 6 months later
>they reach out for me to restart the upgrade process and fix shit
>different vpn client, entire it department overturned
>3 months into it no one can agree to a delegation of the upgrade responsibilities

>>107804936
So where's the mass refunds?

>>107805175
>new hire found this laptop tucked behind the cabinet and started using it for facebook games
>refuses to give it back
She must've fucked like a tiger to get away with that.

>>107795067
>he found a way to not have to learn what an enum is
This is just how bitwise flags work. Just in a much worse way. Without any of the advantages they bring.

>>107805296
she put windows 10 on it and they called me back again because it was slow, told them to buy another laptop. she works at some stupid "antique" store that paints everything white now, and ive been back there to finally fix other stupid shit she did to the computers, like installing windows 10 on all of them (they're all core 2 duo shitboxes)

>>107795067
> Work for mega corp that is slowly replacing everyone with Indians
> I'm 90% sure I'm a DEI hire cause I'm 1/2 white guys on the dev team

> Finish a feature for the app.
> I knew changes would have to be made when the Indians finished a different component so I left clear comments outlining exactly what to do
> About a week later, I get a message from the Indian assigned to change it
> jeet: "what do i need to change?"
> me: "You only need to reverse the changes in this PR (link)"
> jeet: "Can we connect for a while if possible"
> pepe_pulling_eyelids.jpg
> me: "I don't think that's necessary."
> I then listed out everything he needed to do step by step with file locations and pictures in 4 minutes. Keep in mind, I already put in comments outlining everything he needed to do.
> He got it done in like 10 minutes after that (all he had to do was copy paste and uncomment something)

> Every single time i see questionable code in the app, I go to the line and check the git blame
> Its always an Indian

Thankfully, I don't have to talk to the team in Indian much, but it's baffling how they refuse to make simple changes that would make everyone's lives easier

>>107805369
in her infinite struggle to browse facebook on every computer in the store and updoot, she factory reset the router to get the internal /pos machines off their airgapped subnet, and of course it had the default passwords left on it

i hate these zoomer tech bros more than you can imagine

>>107801997
The joins were coming from referential integrity checks the database was doing, this was all querying the db directly. I sure hope I used a transaction, this was ages ago, don't really remember (I think I did).

Fun fact, one of the crazy things about this project is that the previous devs had decided to roll their own ORM, that was some crazy shit.

This one is from early in my career.

> Working on big ASP.NET Web Forms web app
> They hired an Argentinian firm to create a new module for it (they had built the web app originally)
> New module was knockout.js dropped on top of Web Forms (it's a terrible, terrible idea to bring in any javascript framework if you're using Web Forms)
> Extremely difficult to understand what the hell was going on
> Trying to debug something
> For the bug to happen, it looked like the same function in knockout.js would need to be called twice, but the first time go down one conditional path, second time down the other
> Never figure out how to make that happen
> But to make it easy to know I had managed to hit it, I made the first path pop up an alert saying "What the" and the second one one that said "fuck"
> Never got both alerts to show on my machine
> Drop it and move on to something else
> Eventually everything makes it past QA
> Then we get an email from the head of IT
> This absolutely cannot happen
> It's a screenshot from a user in production who got the "What the" alert
> There is another screenshot, and I don't need to see it to know what's there
> Apparently I committed it and didn't notice

Yeah, we didn't have code reviews at that shop, and I definitely learned not to swear in debug messages. I probably didn't know about console.log at the time, I wonder if you could have js breakpoints in browsers back then...

Head of IT thought it was sabotage on my part, but my dev lead saved me.

>>107798242
I keep calls to an absolute bare minimum because I am an autistic retarded antisocial faggot

>>107806498
Why the self-hatred? If you think about it, speech is terrible for transmitting information. Can't control speed, can't skip forwards or backwards, if you think of something that would totally change whatever the person is blabbing about you still have to wait for them to finish their blab. Technical orgs should almost certainly be 0 meetings.

>>107795067
>sysadmin 4 said in slack chat he uses chatgpt to modify command line flag values

for example, he uses chatgpt to modify new values for the each flags: foobar.py -f filename.txt -u user -t type

what in the fuck?

>>107800025
jesus, were Bruce Lee flicks a part of the curriculum or something?

>>107798242
>Maybe because it'd be harder to screenshot evidence of their incompetence...

I think this is accurate. About 10 years back now, at my previous company, there was one Indian guy (in a different state) who would intentionally spread his questions around a bunch of tech people even if we bent over backwards to help him (or often do the work for him). We found out by chance after just chatting on break times that we were all encountering the same thing from this guy. We worked out that he was smart enough to know his questions were retarded and if he spread them out so he only ever asked one person a small amount of retarded questions then he was less likely he would be exposed as incompetent. We all stopped helping him but some other poor saps who never noticed were probably continuing to help him.

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>>107795067
>work for state government.
>server with super important stuff crashes.
>date pretty much gone.
>no tape backup.
>not on the roster for remote backup.
>about to fire everyone in IT (yes even people who were hired after that server was setup and never even knew about it).
>someone calls the guy who used to manage it (he had retired).
>turns out he had been trying to get the system on the backup roster for years but he kept getting ignored.
>he had wrote a script to make backups to another server on the network. totally not authorized.
>only a few hours work was lost.

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State worker again.
part of our job is to surplus old equipment, and setup new.
state workers make emails, fill out pdf's, do word docs, and not much else.
We were constantly taking perfectly usable desktop's and laptops, and surplussing them.
the moment a laptops warranty expires and the battery goes bad OFF TO SURPLUS with it.
constantly pointing out to my supervisors that the batteries cost $54.
>NOPE! fuck you SURPLUS THEM!
constantly running short of laptops for new workers, or laptops that get broken.
Hey we should really hold on to some of these for new hires and such.
>NO FUCK YOU SURPLUS THEM!
fuck me.
>someone finds a storage locker with 1000 brand new computers, and a couple hundred printers that somehow got lost for about 7 years.
>storage locker so hot the plastic of the printers would break from touching them.
>computers are perfectly fine but dead CMOS batteries.
we should use the computers.
>NO THEY ARE OBSOLETE SURPLUS THEM.
>we often have computers come back because employees leave or retire.
GREAT lets put this in use with someone else, or hold it in inventory.
>NO GET RID OF THEM! if users know we have them they will want them (actual quote from my manager).
Sep 2019 comes around and I have had it with this place. After 4 years I quit and retire.
Covid hits and suddenly everyone needs to work from home.
everyone has to scramble to get computers because it can take 6 fucking months to get authorization to order new ones.
Laugh my fucking ass off!

>>107795249
>>"3 months? I can have it done 5 minutes after this meeting."
You fucked up, you're supposed to say you can probably get it done in a month if you really try, do it in the 5 minutes you actually needed, wait 20 days doing fuck all while they think you're hard at work and then tell them you're done. That way you don't teach them to expect everything in 5 minutes but also still deliver it faster than they expected.

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State worker again.

The story of pic related.

Early one morning one of our workers (a mother of 2) is driving to work.
she stops at 5 way intersection.
unknown to her a depressed mexican is in a larger pickup in one of the lane across from her.
this asshole gets the brilliant idea to end it that morning.
the light changes and he floors it right in to her car.
killing her instantly and doing pic related damage.
what happens to him?
the moron forgot he had air bags.
he just gets some light burns and bruising.
if her air bags deployed he hit her so hard it didn't matter.

fucker just got jail time.

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>>107797660
> INDIANS write a bash script that includes `rm -rf /$1` and forget to pass an arg to the script

>>107801490
>Canadian French PCs return vrai and faux instead of true and false when doing boolean to string, breaking random
Oh my fucking god

>>107806927
I forgot to mention in that exam if you got a question wrong he'd deduct points from you because he said that's how it's done in fucking China or something. Retarded ass chink. Thankfully the rest of the questions were retard easy. In that class I had befriended an older 40 or 50 year-old student who was a stroke victim. He told me this class was going to give him another stroke. I didn't talk to him after the exam, I fear he's dead. It was a cartoonishly bad experience, I can never go back to university after that.

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State worker. last time (maybe).

State had something called "covered positions".
basically like being appointed.
can't be fired.
can't be laid off.
over the years they start getting rid of certain positions.
can't fire the worker so they get re-assigned to some other job. usually something they don't know how to do.

Enter George (real name).
George doesn't know shit about IT tech support.
his position goes away (don't remember what it was).
He gets sent to IT department Tier II.
this all happens before I stared working there.
DES decides all IT people from all IT departments will now be under one roof (not 5 or 6 like before).
Everyone gets shuffled around, and I end up on the team with George.
George can barely use a computer much less troubleshoot them.
Causes more havoc then good.
Constantly have to clean up after him.
Bring this up at my next performance meeting.
Supervisor won't do anything about it.
Turns out they have been working together for years.
Supervisor has been protecting him and covering for him.
Says users love him, he has excellent customer skills.
unit managers constantly request that he NEVER work on their stuff again.
In any other company I have worked for he would have been fired years ago.
Covered positions get legislated away.
Still doesn't get fired.
After I left he got some kind of really bad medical issue and was gone for over a year.
as far as I know he quit.
later learned that he was FUCKING rehired!
now he's on the tier one help line and still knows fuck all about computers.

>>107800025
This sounds like something so retarded it could only occur at the U of S. I bet it is.

>>107808065
forgot to mention the state I live in is so impartial about hiring that it does not matter what problems you have they will hire you and accommodate you.

While installing computers in another city we came across a user who was almost completely paralyzed. was in a special motorized wheelchair that he laid on (not sat). he had to use some kind of device with his mouth to try to control the chair and get around. I don't know what his job was but he could not talk in anyway that most people could understand and could not do sign language so the state hired a person to attend to him every day and try and translate what he said. even she could barely understand him.

one user had bad eye sight so she had a keyboard with giant keys that were black with yellow letters and numbers, and a 42" TV for a monitor.

If you could get a doctor to say you were required to have a hand job 3 times a day the state would have made it happen. I am not kidding.

>>107808118
University of Sudbury? I won't tell the exact university but it wasn't there, I wish it was that backwater but it was still a local university near the city.

>>107798242
pretending to work, cargo culting and of course hiding incompetence.
>i'm so busy saar. I'm on 10 calls every day.
>delivers nothing, makes whole teams busy with bs.

What worked for me to save my ass after some blatant lying I experienced from jeets was to summ up in email what we agreed on call and send it to everyone involved. Paper trail scares them, but only way to win with them is not to play if possible. Leave and find work place with no jeet infestation...I know it's unicorn these days, but sometimes you can be lucky.
>t. unemployed right now

>>107795067
While White Man struggles to unwrap his oreos, the Indian invented the Large Voton Collatzer

>>107801435
Cut my life into SmartObjects

>>107808332

Leave and find work place with no jeet infestation...I know it's unicorn these days, but sometimes you can be lucky.

Bro you have no idea, got connected with the owner of a really small company (like 6 employees total) that wants to hire me. The oener of the company outright despises jeets and refuses to hire them, I'll be the lead dev and the other 2 devs are some Eastern European guy who handles frontend and some Gen X contractor who helps out from time to time.

I work at a megacorp full of jeets right now, this job won't have ad much stability and I'll actually have to work hard (currently I work at like 5% ofy capacity but this is more than enough to look better than jeets). Pay is roughly the same, but I'll be jeet-free and there's lots of room for growth if revenue keeps going up. Well jeet-free except for some messes they left in the codebase that I'll have to clean up (this is why the owner never wants to hire any again).

I'm starting to think this is not a tech horror thread and more of a hate jeet thread.

never worked with any.

>>107808664
sadly i can't talk about the retarded white people i've met because their retardation is so specific and mega dumb that the retarded white people (who almost assuredly use this website) would see it and know i'm me.