Apple Shocks World, Shutters All Factories to “Pursue Bold LGBT Tech Pivot”In a surprise announcement, Apple revealed it is closing every hardware factory worldwide, citing “waning interest in devices that stop working the moment you look at them funny.” Executives admitted that solder‑sealed parts, updates that mysteriously slow older models, and an ecosystem “tighter than tim cook's ass” may have contributed.The company will now redirect all resources into “next‑generation LGBT technologies,” a phrase no one at the press conference could define but was described as “courageous” at least fourteen times.Apple also promised that future macOS releases will scan fewer user photos in the background—“but only because there won’t be any devices left to run them.”
k.. keep me posted
>poorfag fiction
