Needed a male heir or else his kingdom would be absorbed by HRE/Spain.
Catherine walled.
for the coochie
>>18028152Henry did nothing wrong.
>>18028152His seed was weak.
>>18028152>WelshmanHe just wanted a lovely ewe to be his wife but society wouldn't allow it
>>18028152Sepsis from his infected wounds poinsoned his body, which affected his mind, mood, and decision making.He wasn't a well man.
>>18028152>absolute gigachad, an actual giant among men>smart>suddenly crippled>same accident causes a creeping insanity that just gets worse>all while still not siring an heirDon't lance, anons!
>>18028156Henry Eight The Piesfat bastid
He did what he had to do. Imagine if Europeans behaved like that. Instead of giving up their continent to NGO globohomo and the migrants they make money off
>>18028156Tobefaire, the jousting accident changed his figure, leading to traumatic alteration of his own personal outlook on life in general, hence the things he did
>>18028152because cromwell 4D chess
She was making a move. He had to get it on.
>>18028156balls protrudingvery disrepsectful
>>18028152'ate the papacy simple as
>>18028152>making up a whole new religion just so you can divorce your wife what a lardass
>>18028152>one of the most powerful men in the world has to settle for used goods of his brother as his public spouseYeah, I'd be mad too. Eventually.
>>18028152
He wanted to film his buddies smoking weed with him while they watched Ancient Aliens.
>the records of Henry's medics and physicians>the clusterfuck that was the bury ceremony
>>18028152He ate his wives apparently
>>18028174>the clusterfuck that was the bury ceremonygot a story to tell us, anon?
>>18028172THREE LIONS ON A SHIRT!!!!
Because he could.
'ate the pope'ate the french (not raciss just dun like em)'ate me wifeluv meatluv huntin luv joustin simple as
>>18028179Fetch me my jousting cod piece.
>>18028180BOSH!!!!!!!
>>180281761/2>Henry's body has been fighting infection for several years since the jousting accident>In the day of his death his body was more puss and infection than man, this combined with an eating disorder byproduct of the accident put Henry's body around the 400 pounds>Edward Seymour council at the time decided to keep the death of Henry's secret for 3 days to make time to move and prepare the massive and deteriorating body of the now deceased King>Embalmers were quickly summoned to work on Henry's body, according to records the body was so damaged and decayed that the liver fell apart at the touch of it>Heart full of yellow fluids, gangrene and whatnot in the intestines>one of the Embalmers Assistant fainted when the stomach was opened due to the unsupportable stench, others fled the room>2 days and 100 pounds of salts/herbs later the body was ready>The corpse was encased in a massive lead coffin to keep the stench at bay>Witnesses reported strange sounds coming from the coffin, most likely gas from the body, later on the coffin began to distort due to gas pressure, this was quickly hide with black clothes>Then the procession to Windsor Castle>A special carriage was built to hold the half ton weight of the coffin>The journey that was suppose to take 1 day, it took 3 due to the massive weight, the 8 horses that were pulling the carriage barely holding up and to make things better it was raining>At the 2nd night they have to stop at a monastery which ironically Henry dissolved years earlier
2/2>Then the worst happened, the gas pressure that was building up inside became too much for the lead coffin>A thunder like sound was heard, followed by a shit fest of putrid fluids and stench all around>The smell was so bad that the guards left their post>In the morning dogs were found licking the fluids from the ground, later that day the coffin was quickly sealed with lead>When they finally reached Windsor Castle, Henry was buried with haste and without the elaborated ceremony that was planned>The whole ordeal was such a shitshow that Edward Seymour ordered absolute silence on pain of death
>>180281561540 was an absolute fucking unit
>>18028152He had a traumatic brain injury from a joasting incident
>>18028160The Tudors was less of a historical drama than an extremely expensive soap opera but I dug it anyway. Great sets and costumes
>>18028186It was alright.
>>18028182>>18028183
>>18028152>>18028153Funny thing is that the sperm that determines sex not the egg.It was literally his fault.
>>18028182Sounds yummy.
>>18028189Yeah but the point is he knew he wasn't infertile since he *did* knock Katherine up a couple times and they had a couple stillborn boys and one who was apparently healthy at birth before dying of SIDS or whatever the medieval equivalent was. So he knew his juice worked to some extent and Katherine was only getting older so if he ever wanted a legitimate heir that wasn't born a bastard he was gonna need a new wife. If pumping Katherine full of it throughout her 20's never produced a viable son she wasn't doing to do it in her late 40's.
>>18028187>having a good time with your bros>suddenly remember your wife existsmany such cases
>>18028194
>>18028156Disgusting fat fuck. If he didn't die he would become Siegmeyer of Catarina.
>>18028197Based Onionbro.
>>18028189He had sons though, two to be exact. Along with some other bastards speculated go be his. The problem was nobility being cursed by bad genetics from inbreeding.
>>18028183>>In the morning dogs were found licking the fluids from the groundI highly doubt those dogs survived lmao
>>18028291>He had sons though, two to be exact. Along with some other bastards speculated go be his. The problem was nobility being cursed by bad genetics from inbreeding.there was also the horrible 16th century medical care and nonexistent knowledge of sanitation. Jane Seymour died in all likelihood of an infection caused by the midwives reaching around in there when Edward was delivered.
>>18029106That too. But when I think of royals in that era having stillbirth after stillbirth, it had to have had something to do with their shit genetics. Right? I know that a million things can go wrong during pregnancy and delivery, but it’s honestly shocking how commonplace it was when I read about royals of the era, and even up to Queen Anne.
>>18028197*ahem* the knights of catarina are not fat. the unique shape of their armor is designed to deflect blows. also they get offended when someone compares their appearance to that of an onion
>>18029149That's definitely a factor, but I think it's more the lack of sanitation and shit medicine. By the 19th century the amount of stillbirths among royals drops pretty significantly, despite the fact that they were MORE inbred than renaissance kings (for example Queen Victoria and Prince Albert had 9 kids which all reached adulthood, despite both being first cousins). Up until the renaissance kings still occasionally married nobility, which would add fresh blood to the gene pool. Once the divine right of kings started being a thing they would only ever marry other royals and that went on up until the mid 20th century.Queen Anne specifically had so many stillbirths because she probably had antiphospholipid syndrome. It's very hard to diagnose historical people retroactively, so we can't know for sure, but there was definitely something wrong with her since she was very sickly. Ironically she's the result of her father knocking up a commoner.
>>18028182>Witnesses reported strange sounds coming from the coffin, most likely gas from the body, later on the coffin began to distort due to gas pressureHoly shit
>>18028196>implying that that isn't the best part
>>18028152>itWhich one of its?
>>18028169Ow can I be 'eretic, if I got me own church? Check mate, popey.
>>18030300>foreign name>bitching about the royalsName a more classic combo.
>>18028152Because he could.
>>18028152He needed a male heir to avoid a succession crises when he died and to preserve his dynasty. Granting annulments was highly political at the time, if you were in the Pope's favour he'd be very likely to do it, and multiple monarchs did. But Charles V, the HRE and king of Spain, was nephew of Catherine of Aragon and didn't want to lose the dyastic tie and probably felt insulted at the idea. He had the Pope in his pocket, so he effectively blocked the annulment. Because it was the Reformation, there was now precedent to split from Rome, so he did.
>>18028152>'ate my wives>love my (imaginary) heir>simple as
>>18028182>400 pounds>Henry at the tournament
>>18030439Why was it just sitting there looking at it
>>18030458Not sure. A few options though>they broke its legs>it's too young to walk>it's retardedLooks like a chink name so I'm assuming they broke its legs.
>>18030439>>18030458The guy who creates these videos attacks and injures animals but keeps them alive, then lures the Komodo and films it preying on them as they're incapacitated and helpless.
>>18028172>Be England>Tiny island surrounded by no one (of significance)>No one really cares enough to invade>Venetian diplomat shows up>WHAT you don't think about anyone else? despite living on an island where you'll never run into someone who isn't EnglishWas this guy an idiot?
>>18028152He was the man.
No male heir.
>>18028156>Cool story, impotent stinky cuckboi.
>>18030320>faccckkk orrff!!
>>18032183She was a naughty slut
Imagine changing your country's religion and murdering your wives because of your gametes being unable to produce male offspring.
>>18032671He did produce male sons, however. See Edward VI and Henry FitzRoy.
