Christian brothers,I love my wife and we have a beautiful daughter together. Unfortunately however, the first pregnancy did not go well. We found out the child had a severe chromosome problem and she decided to terminate the pregnancy. I was really scared about another pregnancy but couldn't imagine my life without a child so we tried again. Thankfully, everything went well this time. Now, I'd love nothing more than another child and to give my daughter a sibling but at the same time I'm terrified. Then I tell myself that if I had let fear control me my daughter wouldn't be in my arms right now.What do I do?
Remember that God’s love is not contingent on having perfect outcomes; He walks with you in joy and grief alike.
>>18056976How does this help me
>>18056930Nice blog post. Get a life, loser.
>>18056930>wife>youthProverbs #today, Hebrew Greek with AI on every word, or go look up Greek Hebrew meanings for other books until you see your situation in it, general formula. Teach a man to fish…
>>18057016>Hebrew Greek with AI on every word,Enjoy burning.
>decided to terminate the pregnancy>What do I do?Repent and believe for the kingdom of God is at hand
My brother in Christ, I have had similar issues in the past. I posted here about it once. We had our first child but then had four miscarriages, including an ectopic pregnancy. I fought against terminating the ectopic pregnancy even though such a thing is incredibly dangerous for my wife and the baby could never be viable. By God's grace, the pregnancy had disappeared when they went in for exploratory surgery, and we are now entering the second trimester with hopefully our second child. Please pray for us if you can. My best friend had something more similar to yours, where an ultrasound showed her child had an abnormally large head and they wanted to terminate immediately in the third trimester. Thank God her father had contacts who got her in urgently for an alternative ultrasound which was perfectly normal. The child is now four years old. The lesson you are learning is that our lives are not within our control. This is definitely the hardest thing I've learnt at a parent in particular, because as a man, while I had duties to my friends and family, my being crushed by a truck was a pretty eh no big deal sort of possibility. Now I grapple with mortality constantly because I couldn't possibly live if my son were flattened, and even if it were me I am horrified at the through of him growing up fatherless. But it's not something I have any control over. We build systems in our lives to take control but we can never get more than a tiny portion of it, and the rest we have to trust to God. Allowing a desire for further unnatural control is what they tried to do in Babel, and in the end it cannot withstand the forces of reality. Another key lesson is that anxiety is not irrational. You are right to be terrified. But you can't live your life like that - even if you could when you were alone, you have no choice but to face your fears now you have a child already. You have to be the best father and human that you can, and leave the rest to God. I will pray for you.
>>18057048I didn't mention this but this is also true. If the chromosomal abnormality was consistent with life (eg, Downs) then your wife has murdered your child just because it would not live a life similar to what she expected, and you probably to some extent permitted this. It was a difficult situation, and would have made your life immeasurably more difficult, and in the modern world they have all but eradicated Downs children, but it was still wrong, but you accepted those challenges and risks in impregnating your wife, and it was still wrong. God forgives, but only if you truly repent, and I would feel just as terrible for you if you did because that burden will never leave you.
>>18056992helps you be flexible in your approach to life and not as set in your ways. easier said than done but it's the best option.
>>18057642I completely agree with you. It actually wasn't Downs. Not that if fundamentally matterd but it was likely worse, it was very a complex dna mutation
Why would ensoulnment happen so early
>>18057631>My brother in Christ, I have had similar issues in the past. I posted here about it once. We had our first child but then had four miscarriages, including an ectopic pregnancy. I fought against terminating the ectopic pregnancy even though such a thing is incredibly dangerous for my wife and the baby could never be viable. By God's grace, the pregnancy had disappeared when they went in for exploratory surgery, and we are now entering the second trimester with hopefully our second child. Please pray for us if you can.Thank you for sharing. I'll pray for your family. How did you find the courage to go ahead and try for the second baby? It sounds like your wife would have terminated if the baby was unhealthy.
>>18059633She might have, she is a Christian too but more in the modern golden rule sort of way, I would have tried to convince her. As for how we tried to go again, we were just dead set on making sure our son didn't grow up alone. When we set out we wanted 5+ children. After 4 miscarriages we have reconsidered that, but we always wanted at least 2. I will also mention that my wife has hyperemesis gravidarum, which is essentially super intense morning sickness 24/7 for the first 14 weeks or so, and still fairly bad after that, requiring difficult to acquire cancer medication to treat. In our first pregnancy we almost lost our son due to dehydration. The choice isn't easy but you only need to get lucky once. I was certainly in the depths of despair before our current pregnancy though, and truthfully there may have been an unhealthy component to it, akin to a gambler refusing to cut his losses and quit until he hits it big. But we did all the tests and knew it was unlikely that there was anything truly wrong, we were just getting unlucky. I'm not sure if this all answers your question, but thank you for your prayers.
>>18056992It helps you understand the moral framing of Christianity and that God is always with you.
