>Henry VIII found pic related so unattractive he refused to consummate their marriage and had it annulled shortly after meeting herWhat was wrong with her? I'd hit that.
>>18170195Henry VIII was the King of England, you're an incel.
Kind of looks like Sophia Turner.
>>18170195don't 'ate the dutchies, just don't like 'em
I thought the whole issue was that she didn't resemble her portraits
>>18170234It's a Hans Holbein portrait, all of his are accurate
>>18170218Yes she was cute aswell
>>18170276Holy sexo
>>18170276>>18170195She was probably stinky desu
I'd be on the fence.
>>18170195She only spoke German, he didn't. He disguised himself as a peasant and went to try and seduce her like that to allow 'true love to bloom'. While speaking no common language. Presumably he acted like a jeet at her. She thought this stranger was insane and told him to fuck off, in german. He never forgot the insult.
>>18170617They didn't both speak Latin?
>>18170889He excommunicated the Popes, language intuition now gone.
Probably because her coochie stank.Henry wasn't interest in real love; and by then he had already slept with half of the beautiful women in his kingdom. His marriage to Anne of Cleves, his divorce, and his quick marriage to Catherine Parr right afterwards, are all just parallel to the behind-the-scenes action going on between the party of Cromwell and the party of Howard vying for powerBoth of those guys were executed anyway
>>18170195Henry VIII decided to surprise visit her before they ever met, assuming that he was hot shit because as king everyone always told him he was hot shit, and believing that his natural charisma could woo her over and then he could say "surprise, I'm the king, let's live happily ever after now!" like some sort of German fairy tale. But in fact she saw him and, not knowing who she was, was repulsed by his advances. So he got butthurt basically which was why he later acted as he did.
>>18170997Pretty much this.Also, his behavior really made no sense. Why would he want his bride to have a romance with a dude she just met?
>>18170195Several reasons.>Anne couldn't speak more than a few words of English so she couldn't really communicate with Henry or much of anyone at his court>she was a dowdy, conservative German woman who didn't understand the colorful, French-influenced Tudor court - she liked doing needlework in her spare time and was not into dancing, music, or wearing low cut gownsThe long and short is Anne was brought up to be an efficient, punctilious wife for lower German nobility and was a gross mismatch for Henry VIII.
>>18170195Frigid. She actually dodged the executioner.
>>18170522>not enjoying noblewoman aromathis is why you will never be Napoleon
>>18170889Anne only spoke low german, big henry spoke Latin. To the best of my knowledge they never actually spoke. He probably wasn't *that* bitter later since he gave her that title instead of finding a way to kill her too.
yeah she's ugly if i got catfished by this i would divorce her too.
>>18170195Because
>>18170997>>18171014Obviously he had a moment of self-awareness, and wanted to try to get her to fall for his charm and good looks without knowing he was King of England
>>18171629Even then spoken Latin wasn't written Latin and different pronunciations were used in different parts of Europe.>>18171284>>18171629No he wasn't going to kill her because the marriage had been a political alliance with a German Protestant prince. He didn't kill Catherine of Aragon for similar reasons; her nephew was fucking Charles V and Henry was sure not going to piss him off.
>>18170276It’s amazing how young so many ancient/medieval rulers were. Today every politician is an 80 year old boomer dinosaur. The statues don’t really do it justice. They were a bunch of kids.
>>18170276Didn't she supposedly have smallpox scars on her face? She was probably a good deal less attractive than the recreation suggests.
>>18170889>They didn't both speak Latin?Probably not, Anne wasn't an educated woman
>>18170617Always found it funny that Baron Sternberg and his Manchu wife only spoke English to each other, since it was the only language both of them knew, but nobody else in the Mongol court could understand English, so history doesn't record anything of what they said to one another.
>>18170617kek
>>18172339History is beautiful, and the crazier the figure the better.
>>18170997>>18171834That's actually based off him.
>>18170234He got catfished?
>>18171834>>18172711That's what's so frustrating and disappointing about Henry VIII, he would show flashes of being kind and decent and likeable but then his inner demons would come out and he'd revert to being selfish, petty and vicious.
>>18171968Also, at least for most of the male rulers, they actually led their armies in battle personally and some died. They weren't bureaucratic cowards like modern politicians who never experience any danger in their life.
>>18171019Interesting, I didn't know about thisHenry was definitely more into the flashy, flirty and vibrant type of culture that was popular in France and Italy. I think this is an underrated but oddly very realistic and relatable reason why Henry wouldn't get along with one of his wives. It wasn't entirely just "she didn't give me muh son".
meanwhile you could smell him from two rooms away because of his gangrenous legs
>>18172979German culture was button-down and deeply conservative all the way to the days of the Enlightenment era. There was an intrinsic silliness and love of fun in English culture that was lacking in Germany, perhaps not for nothing did Frederick the Great ridicule Germans as caveman-tier.
>>18172974Based
>>18171014>Also, his behavior really made no sense. Why would he want his bride to have a romance with a dude she just met?He clearly had some weird complexes about female sexuality. With Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard, he went after two women who were quite outwardly vivacious, playful, and known to have had romances before him. When he fell out with them, he had them put on what were effectively slut trials, with exaggerated accounts of their whoredom extracted under torture and used to condemn them to death. You'd think a king would sweep that shit under the rug instead of making a giant show trial with exaggerated accounts of his cuckoldry - that to me points to a perverse combination of fascination/revulsion with female sexuality.He was deeply invested in the idea of the courtly romance alongside that. He's constantly casting himself as some chivalric devotee early on with Catherine of Aragon and lavishes poems, love letters, jewels, gifts, etc. on Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, and Catherine Howard. Clearly, whether it was sexualised or not, it had to involve the idea of mutual romance for Henry's ego. Anne of Cleves simply didn't give him an 'in' on either of those fronts. Catherine Parr also didn't, to be fair, but by that point, I feel like Henry's too obese/debilitated/tired and looking for a companion rather than someone to fuck.
>>18170997Royals are usually out of touch tards from being sucked off all day by their courtiers.
>>18170195Anon you'd hit a potato sack with a smiley, bar is ankle height desu
>>18173299as he said, the English court was French-influenced and very big on flowers/chivalry/music/romance and all that shit. Anne being German was from a much more practical, conservative culture and didn't relate to the lifestyle at the Tudor court.
>>18173299Really an interesting fellow.
>>18173123>Frederick the Great ridicule Germans as caveman-tier.Frederick was treated very harshly by his father, who hated the elaborate court life and costly expenses into culture and art of his father, who Frederick the Great resembled in many ways. His father also started the Tabakskollegium, which was basically a very brutal IRL 4chan, but populated by hard military men, who roasted each other, drank to unconsciousness and dueled each other. Not to mention that Frederick's best friend, possibly lover, was killed in front of his eyes and he was almost killed by his own father, before the Holy Roman Emperor himself stopped his father from killing his own son. Considering all of that it's not hard to see why Frederick the Great felt that way about Germans. He was in a unique position. If he met his own grandfather and was raised by him he would feel very differently.
>>18172355Henry could never do a flip like this sir.
>>18173123the only part of Germany he admired was the architecture lol
>>18173123>There was an intrinsic silliness and love of fun in English culture that was lacking in Germany, perhaps not for nothing did Frederick the Great ridicule Germans as caveman-tierSource for that first claim?Reason for connecting it to your second point?
>>18176662i think he means exactly that, Germs were no fun allowed stuff shirts and still are. The average German comes home from his job at BMW and sits down to a comfy game of Auto Line Worker Sim on his PC.
>>18172339It is very funny indeed. I'd almost expect her to know some russian, and a madlad like Roman to only know German and Russian, perhaps some french
>>18170195she probably had a funny voice
>>18176867>Verschwinde von hier, du Schwein!
>>18170195His ability to pair bond was destroyed. He was hypersexual and if he were alive today he’d be happiest as a coomer going to the adult video awards, paying OF girls, and using escorts and massage parloura.
